HEALTH KKKARE WEEK  4:08 pm March 15, 2010

Barack Obama Will Publicly Shame Dennis Kucinich Until He Votes Yes

by Jim Newell

In case you have not read about this on the very tense political Internet, the House vote on health care reform at the end of this week is going to be close as the dickens. No — even closer than the dickens.

Consider today’s Presidential Activity: Barack Obama wants to get Dennis Kucinich’s vote, but Dennis Kucinich really does not want to vote yes (because it’s likely that the day after Obamacare loses, the House & Senate will quickly take up and unanimously pass a single-payer bill.) So Obama orders Kucinich to fly with him on Air Force One to a big health care rally in Kucinich’s own district. And then during the rally, Obama and his Union Thugs just try to annoy Kucinich until he cracks.

And this is just Monday! Say a prayer for any crucial Democratic votes still holding out by Thursday or Friday, when Rahm Emanuel will be EARFUCKING THEIR CHILDREN.



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Buttery1000 March 15, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Someone should tell Kucinich that the aliens are for health care reform.

gurukalehuru March 15, 2010 at 4:14 pm

They’re going to get this.

EdFlinstone March 15, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Dont bother Kucinich, hes busy trying to get April declared national pierogi month out of committee.

Berkeley Bear March 15, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Kucinich is just pissed that being elfin and small enough to fit in Stephen Colbert’s pocket are still going to be reasons he can’t get big boy coverage on the Federal Employee exchange.

Formerly Preferred March 15, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Aural sex?

jetjaguar March 15, 2010 at 4:17 pm

stand tall, my little elven prince, stand tall

progressiveinga March 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Even as Cleveland’s ‘Boy Mayor’ over 30 years ago, Kucinich was hounded by thugs:

Deja vu all over again………

Suds McKenzie March 15, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Hopey should publicly fuck his wife.

SmutBoffin March 15, 2010 at 4:23 pm

If the dickens were any closer, we’d all be dickens-slapped.

Buzz Feedback March 15, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Shit. You can fit a lot of people inside that Keebler tree.

Chernobyl Soup March 15, 2010 at 4:24 pm

I thought the dickens was (were?) superlative.

Hooray For Anything March 15, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=530756]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Isn’t that Rahm’s job?

The Other Sarah T March 15, 2010 at 4:27 pm

[re=530756]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Yup. Or dangle the little guy by the scruff of his neck & sort of flick at his ears, maybe add a few “coochie-coochie-coo”s.

Troubledog March 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm

I have a total stiffy for Dennis Kucinich’s wife.


V572625694 March 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=530756]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Let’s all publicly fuck Mrs Kucinich. Only by “all” I mean “me.” And by “publicly” I mean “in private.”

user-of-owls March 15, 2010 at 4:32 pm

[re=530759]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: The dickens were superlative, but the deuces were simply divine.

hockeymom March 15, 2010 at 4:33 pm

You call THAT a public shaming? Call me when the wee lawmaker has been paraded around town wearing the scarlet letter A (asshat).

JMP March 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Come on, Obama; Kucinich is jumping up and down, screaming “look at me, look at me”; by publicly pressuring him, you’re just giving him the attention he wants.

Still, you’ll probably be able to steal some of his Lucky Charms; just like those kids who are always after him do every time.

Zadig March 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=530756]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Fuck no, the sight of Barry nailing Dennis’ gratuitously hot wife would melt our eyes out from the awesome. He can do it in private, this mortal shell isn’t ready to witness it.

Guppy06 March 15, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Anybody who flaunts a wife like that in public knows no shame!

chaste everywhere March 15, 2010 at 4:39 pm

[re=530746]gurukalehuru[/re]: Hope so, but maybe we’d best not count our dickens before they’re . . . I dunno, snatched?
[re=530751]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Sounds good to me.

Extemporanus March 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

[re=530773]Guppy06[/re]: Are you saying he should treat her more gingerly?

Extemporanus March 15, 2010 at 4:48 pm

[re=530740]Buttery1000[/re]: Don’t the aliens already have universal health care?

[re=530758]Buzz Feedback[/re]: That was uncommonly good.

Hooray For Anything March 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm

[re=530772]Zadig[/re]: Caesar got revenge on his political enemies by fucking their wives and letting everyone know it so not only is there precedent for it, but it worked out rather well for Caesar, except for the whole stabbing thing. Obama’s major problem in doing that, however, is he’s got to contemplate nailing Mrs. McConnel, Mrs. Boehner, and Lindsey’s Graham’s significant other– Joe Lieberman.

Mr Blifil March 15, 2010 at 4:52 pm

In contrast to John Edwards, when he gives his Amazonian red-headed arm trophy head, he has to use his entire head.

Ducksworthy March 15, 2010 at 4:52 pm

[re=530773]Guppy06[/re]: Whooops. For a second I thought you were referring to Justice Pubic Hair and his Schwein-frau.

user-of-owls March 15, 2010 at 4:58 pm

[re=530773]Guppy06[/re]: [re=530777]Extemporanus[/re]: He’s already having her fitted in a burkini for their next visit to the beach.

user-of-owls March 15, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=530784]Extemporanus[/re]: They sure do, it’s all covered under Mexicaid Part B.

Sharkey March 15, 2010 at 5:07 pm

[re=530764]Troubledog[/re]: I bet she would totally do you.

JMP March 15, 2010 at 5:08 pm

[re=530785]Hooray For Anything[/re]: To be fair, Caesar never fucked Brutus’ wife, and it took other actions to turn him against Julius; namely, that he fucked Brutus’ mother.

TGY March 15, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Maybe he can motion to impeach George Bush, again?

Zadig March 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm

[re=530785]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Maybe he should follow another ancient precedent, that of the Whipping Boy, and get some poor sap to be his proxy fucker.

Capricatony March 15, 2010 at 5:23 pm

According to Nate Silver, Kucinich has the 23rd most right-wing voting record in the House. Of course he was objecting from the left, but the outcome is the same.

If the health bill hangs on Kucinich, we’re fucked. The man believes a) he’s accomplishing something with his “principles” and b) in aliens.

BarackMyWorld March 15, 2010 at 5:39 pm

“it’s likely that the day after Obamacare loses, the House & Senate will quickly take up and unanimously pass a single-payer bill”


queeraselvis v 2.0 March 15, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Dennis is just pissed at Barry for not naming him ambassador to Munchkinland, obvs.

Lascauxcaveman March 15, 2010 at 6:14 pm

[re=530825]Capricatony[/re]: Being a principled asshole without regard to effect is Denny’s favorite part of the Ralph Nader playbook.

Holding Out for a Hero March 15, 2010 at 6:31 pm

[re=530772]Zadig[/re]: If Barry makes a sex tape of him nailing the tall, hot redhead and puts it on Pay-Per-View for $19.95 a pop, we’d make enough money to pay off the deficit in about 3 hours. Just sayin’

kaykel96 March 15, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Sadly, My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. yeah.. i’m young ,beautiful,lonely and still hurting.i need someone to love ….My friends told me about A_ge_m_in_gle @ c/o/m and i got curious about it.. they met their boyfriends there.,It is said that it’s the best place to meet a older boyfriend or a younger girlfriend. .So i got a username AnnaBaby there in order to find a new boyfriend. is it wrong?

loverevolution March 15, 2010 at 9:09 pm

[re=530753]jetjaguar[/re]: Beautifully said.

If our government is going to start forcing everyone to buy health insurance, are you happy with the idea of only being able to choose from among the for-profit bloodsuckers? Don’t you think it would be much better to also have the choice of a Public Option?

I think an Insurance Mandate without a Public Option is terrible policy and political suicide. A twofer. I’m with Denny on this one. Fight for the PO! It’s important.

It’s time for Progressives to take over and start running this country. The Conservatives have scorched enough earth for a lifetime.

steverino247 March 15, 2010 at 9:16 pm

[re=530764]Troubledog[/re]: Two legs, good. Spread legs, better.

rottenart March 15, 2010 at 9:40 pm

[re=531030]steverino247[/re]: Johnny?

Mad Brahms March 15, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Earfucking? With a green dildo? Isn’t that Gibbs’ job?

imissopus March 15, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Tell him anal probes will be covered.

Beanball March 16, 2010 at 1:23 am

[re=530825]Capricatony[/re]: I’m one of the people that will be “mandated” to buy “health care insurance” if this piece of shit bill goes down, and I’m here to tell you that you’re not in the least bit funny.

Also, STFU.

SemiCharmedQuark March 16, 2010 at 3:58 am

[re=531023]loverevolution[/re]: He voted against the public option by voting against the House bill. He voted against SCHIP, the hate crimes bill, cap and trade and the budget and the pantsing of Joe Wilson. What does any of that accomplish?

thursday March 16, 2010 at 5:21 am

What is with people and Kucinich’s wife? I’ve seen them both in person. They both look like elves. Kucinich is the old Keebeler-style elf, and his wife is more like thost Lord of the Rings Elves: pale and lanky. They’re both nutter butters, though.

ericblair March 16, 2010 at 9:04 am

[re=530748]EdFlinstone[/re]: Oh, haha funny, because he has an ethnic name.

ericblair March 16, 2010 at 9:06 am

[re=530895]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, principles are so….maladaptive. Fuck ‘em.

ericblair March 16, 2010 at 9:07 am

[re=531137]thursday[/re]: And we all know that looks are the most important thing, forever.

GOPCrusher March 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm

[re=531125]SemiCharmedQuark[/re]: Joe Wilson was pantsed? Must of been on C-Span 3. Damn you Dish Network! Damn you!

danceswithcougars March 16, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Ever notice that Barry is awful tough on progressives standing firm but kind of a quivering pussy when it comes time to back down the pugs?

heathenish March 16, 2010 at 7:46 pm

[re=530753]jetjaguar[/re]: I’m with you and Dennis on this. Being an elf, myself. (Even though principles are maladaptive-as ericblair says.)

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