Are we still writing about Gross-ass John Edwards and his she-witch Rielle Hunter and their sexy pregnant sex tape and the GQ interview and sad/insane cancer lady Elizabeth Edwards and all that? Maybe! Just for today, anyway. HERE YOU GO: “On the video, both participants are naked. Hunter is propped up against the hotel bed headboard, with John Edwards belly-down on the bed between her legs. As Hunter, the campaign’s official videographer, holds the camera, a smiling Edwards performs oral sex.” [Gawker]
John Edwards Wriggles (His Tongue) Around In Rielle Hunter’s HooHa
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First puke of the week, thanks.
It’s Morning in America
Not. Hot.
But how does his hair look? Flawless?? (fap)
[re=530362]oldguy[/re]: Yep, it’s the crack of dawn. No, wait. It’s the crack of Rielle.
Needz moar bukkake
Why, why, WHY DID I READ THIS????!!!!!
[re=530361]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: Really. Jesus, Ken, did you have to post this at lunch time? I’ve got hobo beans all over my keyboard now.
Not enough mental bleach in the world for that image.
Egads. Again with the wriggling.
[re=530372]Urbanachiever[/re]: You wanted to see how high the ‘ick factor’ could rise, before your gorge finally did.
Wow, as epic of an implosion as Edwards has made, can you imagine if he had been the candidate?
If she’s all that pregnant, and she’s holding the camera in such a way that you can’t see her face, but you can see her pregnancy, how can you see the oral sex/ clowning? Logistics, please!
“where’d ya get the scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pussy!??”
Apropros of not much, but I love quoting from Scarface…
Jesus. And to think I supported this guy for at least Attorney General. He can’t even pick a decent mistress or make a movie worth watching.
At least they weren’t having a tickle fight.
Yech, all around. Make these morons go away!
Whoever scheduled this dumb interview at “GQ” should be reprimanded and docked a days’ pay.
Is it wrong to wonder when he last wriggled his tongue with Elizabeth? I put the over/under around 1988.
Four to five months pregnant? I think it’s time to stop when you’re giving the kid a swirly.
“I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. D’Mill!”
Did he feel anything try to grab his tounge? Hey wonkette, you started this…
Now I’m not going to be able to eat my lunch or use my camera phone without
feeling, mad, bad, sick and a little naughty. Eeeewwwww.
Damn it, you guys, I’m trying to eat lunch over here.
[re=530383]the problem child[/re]: Also, how can you enjoy oral sex in such circumstances?
[re=530392]Dean Booth[/re]: Ha!
[re=530391]Buzz Feedback[/re]: My guess is he wanted to fix the kid’s hair.
So is that how the millworker’s son gots the psycho-fembot preggers? Artificial insemnination has advanced to a new frontier.
This lends even more dignity to the situation. Wriggling, pregnant, nude, hoohas, hair, (his n’ hers).
Barf.
For all the people who once believed in Edward’s candidacy: he gives head, to women who are not his wife. It’s normal. He is perhaps abnormally stupid, deceitful and vain, but not by much.
Two Whore Diamonds
Ha! Take that Massa, et al. Finally, a story about lapping up genital secretions the way the founding fathers meant for it to happen- as a poorly videotaped act between a married politician and a dirty skank.
Hey at least he wasn’t wriggling it around in excrement!
We could call this maneuver a “waggaman”, that would be a nice, clean-smelling euphemism to save us future typing and explication.
“…with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
[re=530401]megs[/re]: You’re crowning and dad’s going all Piper Palin on your ass.
[re=530383]the problem child[/re]: The logistics lead me to question which orifice is the “hooha?”
[re=530383]the problem child[/re]: If this was her first pregnancy, then there’s really not much of a “baby bump” by the fourth or fifth month to make this video a logistical impossibility.
[re=530401]megs[/re]: Best win ever!
[re=530368]Not_So_Much[/re]: He finally found a patch of hair he could admire as much as he admires his own.
This is probably the first political sex scandal I’ve heard of where the woman involved (where there was a woman involved) actually got some oral. She may not be smart enough to take the pill or make him wrap it, but she at least knew how to get something out of all this (besides the kid).
[re=530375]Hutch[/re]:
That’s what she said. Also.
Nothing wrong with eating box. Except here.
Eeeeeew, really Ken, must you gross us out on Monday. God, I need to get that image of mister I love the poor performing oral sex on the crazy lady.
He had the instructions from that Oral Roberts audiotape in case he did something wrong. Of course you’d think he’d have noticed that part about how the male member and vagina, put together, can create life.
Soon to be on HBO
Rielle Sex Part 69
We need not waste time on such druck.
“Because of the camera angle, Hunter’s face is not visible, but her distinctive jewelry is.” So…she was an early vajazzler?
If you’re a politician posing for a baby-kissing photo-op, aren’t you supposed to wait for the baby to be born first?
Today, we are all members of The Slut Club.
[re=530387]Oblios Cap[/re]: When Johnny hit the scene, I saw “ambulance chaser” as the the greatest accomplishment on his C.V., and never read beyond that. I just assumed he was a dick from the get-go, despite all the nice things he said about the poors and mills and somesuch. I must admit I winced a bit when Kerry picked him as a running mate in ’04.
Smack..lick..probe..says in garbled voice ” Good thing I’m performing fellatio on you in private, my crazy bitch of a wife will never find out.” And some folks wanted this labia lapping genius for POTUS!
I’d vote for him.
Sometimes you want a little glaze on your doughnut.
Ummm, if he can be seen smiling he is not performing it to my specifications….
[re=530410]chaircrusher[/re]: Well, that we know of.
[re=530441]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]: Perhaps they’re referring to her pink pearl.
[re=530446]libwakman[/re]: Fellatio? It’s that kind of confusion about sex that makes me wonder about American education.
[re=530443]Extemporanus[/re]: That was in reply to every other sick motherfucker who had the same “giving a little head a little head” thought that I did, but weren’t delayed in their commenting by an overwhelming compulsion to jerk to it first.
[re=530455]the problem child[/re]: Zing!
Imagine if Monica had had a Sony hi-def!
[re=530455]the problem child[/re]:
Seriously. If you’re performing fellatio on a girl then you’re doing it wrong or you got gender issues.
It’d have been better if Johnny’d been belly-up, dontcha think?
Ew, I made myself a little sick.
[re=530464]Looy[/re]: Or if the official White House videographer hadn’t been sent home due to that budget standoff with Congress.
But where’s the blue cat peoples in 3d?
Available yet in 3D?
Let me just say, it’s a strange, sad day when I find I have to agree with Ruth Marcus.
That’s how they do it at the Mill.
Why was it so out of the realm of what people consider normal for him to be carrying on like this when running for President? Haven’t Frick and Frack, the two bimbos that JFK used to swim with in the White House pool, been well documented, in about 1000 books, and isn’t it rumored also that, on Inauguration Day, JFK went to one of the balls specifically to have a session with one of the various mistresses that were a daily occurence back in his Administration? Why does this surprise people? Say what you want to about Edwards, he’s a good looking guy. He had a lot of stress in his life. Prolly a less dangerous way to destress than inhaling snow.
Edwards always was a cunning linguist.
So, technically, he’s no motherfucker. Amirite?
[re=530467]ManchuCandidate[/re]: This is why the field of Gender Studies was invented.
No wonder that kid has a cowlick.
[re=530515]Army of None[/re]: Because he was running for President of the United States. It’s really that simple. Say what you will about JFK, or Clinton, or Andrew Jackson when he was applying some Old Hickory to the White House seamstress corps, but none of them ever brought to term an illegitimate child simultaneously with their runs for the highest office in the land.
And if they did, they would deserve to hear the same.
Edwards was colosally stupid and reckless to have done what he did, and he deserves to have people call him what he was.
@Army of None: We talk about this so much because Edwards got his mistress pregnant while his wife was dying of cancer, so we feel bad for Elizabeth and assume it helps her emotional state to have to listen to a million strangers talk about her husband’s affair incessantly on the TV and in magazines. We’re considerate that way.
[re=530569]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: He was also colossally stupid.
[re=530362]oldguy[/re]: It’s Moaning in America.
/fixed.
From GQ – “I’m huge into documentaries, it’s my true love, and I thought it would be a great thing for people to see what I see, through my eyes.”
[re=530391]Buzz Feedback[/re]: He actually thought he was being a responsible parent be refraining from putting a cigar in there.
First Massa Massages, now Edwards Head.
I’m going to continue to imagine the sex tape as being eerily similar to the Sussudio scene in American Psycho.
[re=530515]Army of None[/re]: JFK (and others before him) lived in a time when a gentleman’s private affairs were generally considered private, even if he happened to be president. All that sorta changed when the modern media decided they needed to sell more newspapers. It was inevitable, really. I’m one among many who laments the decline of old fashioned manners.
If that whole Monica Lewinsky story had never become public, we’d be living in a very different and almost certainly better country right now, the butterfly effect of that one being enough to put Bush II close enough to a winning vote in 2000 for the Supremes to appoint him president.
And THAT”S why it matters.
[re=530411]snideinplainsight[/re]: Perfect.
[re=530379]conanneutron[/re]: One of the disappointing parts of “Game Change” was that there was more dirty shit written about Edwards than Palin. According to the authors, the 3 top Edwards’ staffers were ready to draw straws to see who got to let the party know what Edwards was doing, should he have a chance to win the nomination. Also, that Elizabeth really is a crazy bitch and that this moron was sending messages to the Obama people offering an Edwards endorsment in exchange for the Att. General spot just a month or so before his love child was born.
The people who really have a right to be so pissed off at Edwards that they’re allowed to tar and feather this son of a bitch are the members of the Steelworkers’ Union. They put a lot of time and money into supporting John “Two Americas” Edwards. Not only a complete waste of their resources, but seriously embarrassing.
Oh God, so NSFW
The earlier “fellatio” comment reveals the Republican conundrum: “you can give head to a WOMAN?”.
[re=530682]ttommyunger[/re]:
Ann Coulter resolved that cunnundrum.
“On The View this morning, Barbara Walters said Rielle Hunter called her in tears over the suggestive nature of the GQ photos. Hunter said screamed for two hours upon seeing photos that show her bare-legged on a bed, wearing only a man’s white dress shirt and a pearl necklace. Hunter told Walters she had trusted the photographer, Mark Seliger, and believed him when he told her “he thought there might be one” usable shot that showed her being sexy.”
Oh, honey.
[re=530517]WadISay[/re]: In this case, he was a Quinnulingus.
[re=530565]Snidely[/re]: Michael Steele went down to the mill, too?!
Republicants, biblethumpers, rightwankers and assorted other loose nuts have been for weeks raving about the Edwards video and Tiger Woods’ wimmin. The Ol’ Redneck has been mystified by this until he took a look at that Really Hunter woman and all those wimmin that Tiger had by the tail. Them is some FINE WIMMIN — I’M TALKING MIGHTY FINE WIMMIN. Not one cubic inch of drooping booty on any of them — tight, firm all the way.
Now I understand why the rightwingers are so upset — all they can get is Phyllis Schlafly, that nutcase over at Concerned Women of America, and a couple of batshit-crazy broads like Sarah P. and Michelle B. — while Edwards and that black guy who plays golf are knocking off the finest there is in the land.
How long before the Edwards video is on YouTube??
[re=530605]BobTheBuilder[/re]: John Headwards?
I think Edwards thought, whats more stupid than impregnating my campaign videographer, while I have a wife with cancer……..VIDEO!!!!
Going down to the mill — or going down on the MILF?
[re=530707]Flanders[/re]: LOL! Now that would have been awesome, to see Rielle Hunter wearing a “pearl necklace” in GQ.
[re=530565]Snidely[/re]: LOL.
[re=530707]Flanders[/re]: Ha ha. I’ve been to Seliger’s studio and been on a shoot with him, he’s great. And the pic of her, pantless, mascera, pearl necklace, sitting among muppets- that basically shows his stuff- that is a lovely picture. I want my mistress photographed like that.
[re=530916]NYNYNY[/re]: Nothing wrong with the picture per se. She is the one complaining about it. Which is surprising, becuase she posed for it.
Sadly, My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. yeah.. i’m young ,beautiful,lonely and still hurting.i need someone to love ….Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site- I EAT POOP , a nice and free place for Older Men, or Older Women to eat poop and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. is it wrong?
[re=530443]Extemporanus[/re]: Epic Win – Just classic in its’ brevity and wit. Kudos
[re=530928]Flanders[/re]: She should complain, it’s an awesome picture, showing her empty muppet soul. He tricked her into posing for it, as he should have. Her mouth should have been open at 45 degrees like kermits tho.
Ewwww. Just ewwww.
[re=530386]stew[/re]: Oh, a Pacino fan. Got any good ones from “Scent of a Woman”?
[re=530443]Extemporanus[/re]: If you’re a politician posing for a baby-kissing photo-op, aren’t you supposed to wait for the baby to be born first? Nice!
[re=530452]Limeylizzie[/re]: Maybe the description meant a vertical smile.
Think about what this poor kid is going to have to live with. First, having a man who isn’t her father, Anthony Young, claiming paternity. Then having your true father be a hypocritical, selfish, lying scumwad who had more than most Americans can even dream of, who boinks a sad, patheitc woman, and both of them were too stupid to use contraception. School will be sheer hell, from students, parents and teachers alike. I hope the poor girl changes her name and finds a peaceful life away from the spotlight.
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