Are you one of the fistful of Americans who cares what Rielle Hunter does with her life since she bravely bore the child of the android King of Vulgarian Monticello, Mr. Johnny Edwards? Well, read on! Rielle Hunter has completed an interview with GQ and posed for a pantsless photo, just as Susan B. Anthony intended.
Not until Rielle Hunter did this interview did we really think about the fact that, until this point, she did not do any interviews! That was so classy, when she did (not do) that!
Okay, so I know this might be a chick question, but did you know that very first night that you were something special to him?
I did know, yes. I did know the first night. We had an extraordinary night, and I did know that this was unlike anything either of us had ever experienced. And as we have all learned, that was accurate! [laughs] He in fact did say to me the first night, “Falling in love with you could really fuck up my plans for becoming President.” And of course I said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
Oh well.
Hello, America, My Name Is Rielle Hunter [GQ]
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Good grief, why do these guys seem to pick twits as mistresses? Maybe the intelligent women are less inclined to become mistresses. Who knows.
Forget Rielle Hunter, where are the pantsless photos of Dora the Explorer?
“Falling in love with you could really fuck up my plans for becoming President.”
And you know that even as he was saying that Edwards was thinking “that line is killing! I can’t wait to use it again.”
One can only hope that the details of their extraordinary first nite together be included in Texas school books.
“I am not making a penny from this interview!”… But I am posing pantless so I can cash-in in the near future!
@Ruhe: He should have totally used it in his campaign speeches.
How can a man who spends so much time on his own hair stick it in something with hair like that?
“Okay, so I know this might be a chick question, but did you know that very first night that you were something special to him?”
Shortly after this interview, SEC filings reveal that GQ is changed it’s official name to “Dudebro: Straight-Up Dawg Quarterly.”
If you want to make God laugh, imagine you can fuck anybody you want and still be president.
“Falling in love with you could really fuck up my plans for becoming President.”
Yes, yes, you dick it could have. But you went ahead with it anyway. Falling in love with her could have fucked up the country had you happened to to win; and fucked Democrats chances for a long time. Asshole.
Everybody knows the women you fuck
Nobody cares how bad is your luck
Johnny, you’re stupid, why won’t you wear a dome?
You dumbass, can’t you put one on
What is wrong in his life
That she got knocked up that night
Johnny, you’re stupid, why won’t you wear…
Use the phone, call Rielle
She’s missing you badly, missing her man
Who do you fuck, why do you film
Sex on tape not so smart they say
Johnny, you’re stupid, why won’t you wear a dome?
Ditsy broad.
Wasn’t there some article recently comparing Hunter to the Tigers woods harem, which said she was relatively classy because she had not done any interviews? Man, FAIL.
[re=530175]Terry[/re]: Seriously. Most smart guys totally miss the point of joining Mensa. It’s for the tail, people.
Gist of article: We were banging 15 minutes after we met. And BTW, I am so, like, totally, not promiscuous.
Love the photo of Rielle the “swiper” posing with her friend Dora. But I looked all over that page for the “see the answer here button” and I couldn’t find it. Is GQ gonna get that fixed?
[re=530175]Terry[/re]: That, and more intelligent people (both among the cheaters and the other women/men) are a lot less likely to get caught by, say, the National Enquirer.
Women should look at Rielle and feel good about that .72 cents on the dollar.
I was ready to hurl when I saw she calls him Johnny. All I can think of is that Dave Matthew’s Band song “Crash into Me” when I think of those two.
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site- A_ge_m_in_gle @ c.o.m a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.
Actually, it was the primary voters that fucked up his plans to be president. It was falling in love with Reille that fucked up his separate plan not to be remembered as an epic asshole.
Looking at those photos (regrettably), I’m guessing he thought she was Debbie Gibson.
The best part is: I said, “I can’t believe that was John Edwards; he’s so hot. He’s really got it going on. He’s got something unusual about him, and I never would have recognized him.” And Tony said, “Oh, my God, you should have come over and told him that. He would have loved to have heard that.”
hi
[re=530204]kaykel96[/re]: Fuck off you miserable spambot.
What was her gig before she met him? You don’t just magically make money and connections with a BEING IS FREE business card. Or have I been doing it wrong all these years?
[re=530199]kaykel96[/re]: Is it me, or is it getting harder to distinguish blogwhores and satire?
[re=530204]kaykel96[/re]: Yes, spamming on a website known for its witty assholes is probably not a good idea, you fucking idiot.
[re=530198]lemprika[/re]: People made jokes that he has already hired Dave Mathews to play the wedding; no way, trust me, Johnny and Rielle, they’re more Hootie and the Blowfish people, you just know the dolphins make them cry.
You don’t just magically make money and connections with a BEING IS FREE business card.
You do if your have a pantsless photo on the card.
It’s incredible that she kept saying that Elizabeth should take some of the blame. You know, I couldn’t even laugh at this. Which makes me hate Rielle even more.
I wonder if they did it in a mill.
[re=530208]Guppy06[/re]: It’s too bad for the spambot that Edwards and Hunter are about the same age, or else its shit would almost appear on-topic.
Dude, that is a scary damn photoshoot. Did she always have the Bachmann crazyeyes, or did Edwards do that to her (in which case he’s much more Clintonesque than anyone ever suspected)?
Generally sexy look (men’s dress shirt and nothing else) + crazy eyes/hair + stuffed animals (DORA! No es bueno!) = epic fail.
Two Americas. With pants, and pantsless.
The writer forgot to mention that she and John like to “snorkle” amid the rubber duckies in the tub.
[re=530199]kaykel96[/re]: Reille?
God’s a tougher crowd than that.
Ca-RAY-zee!! Must have started out with the batshit crazy when her Dad murdered her horse, and just launched a career of it from there.
Falling in love with her really fucked up his marriage to that nice lady with cancer and those kids they had together.
[re=530201]magic titty[/re]: Or Courtney Love.
[re=530211]Prommie[/re]: that’s precisely why i referred to crash. although i must say I bet there was some Enya, or Yanni playing during at least one of their love sessions.
[re=530214]letmetellyou[/re]:
I feel the same way. Rielle, go back to your books about mysticism and see what they say about karma with regard to screwing married men. Don’t get me started on HIM.
“Do you think it is unconditional for him?”
The only unconditional thing about Edwards (other than the hair fixation) is his need for a constant supply of whores.
Some of the comments here – and even more so in GQ – have me wondering why all that hatred. They’re not supposed to fuck just because he’s married? Anyone faithful enough to cast the first stone?
[re=530214]letmetellyou[/re]: It’s incredible that she kept saying that Elizabeth should take some of the blame.
I think that was her incredibly tactless way of saying what all women know, but seldom acknowledge: you’ve got a healthy, horndog, mid-life-crisising man at home, you better be giving him all he can stand, or he’ll wander.
Er, not that I would know anything about about being a healthy, horndog mid-lifer or anything….
“I said I could help him. Which I really believed I could. And quite frankly—well, depending on your perspective, I really have.”
How wonderful could your worldview be if only you too could flense away that last iota of perspective?
Not when you’re running for fucking president, M. DeGoal.
[re=530246]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: However, I do believe that cancer and chemotherapy can have a bit of a negative effect on a person’s libido.
VO: In this interview, the part of Rielle Hunter will be performed by Lisa Jo Druck.
“Hello, Rielle, go away now with the knowledge you’ve accumulated from the Succubus for Dummies training manual.” — America
[re=530232]Chickensmack[/re]: Yeah, when you’re having sex with someone else’s husband, best to leave God out of it.
[re=530250]JMP[/re]: Like I said, it was pretty tactless?
[re=530249]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: Maybe so, although I’m sure he was not the first one to do it. Also, much of the hatred is directed at her, had she wasn’t running for anything that I know of. It’s like a bunch of Puritans want her to pin a scarlet letter to that shirt.
[re=530250]JMP[/re]: apparently not on Rielle. She’s shopping for guys in a similar vein (no dick jokes, please) if she interviews in GQ… the well-to-do, narcissistic man.
too bad she may be unaware that GQ’s demographic usually chases for way younger tail, with no young chirrens.
I know everyone is focusing on the “fuck up my plans” part of the quote, but I found ““If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” part more horrifying. Who actually *says* this chicken-soup-for-the-soul-dr.-phil-elizabeth-gilbert-touchy-feely-new-age-bullshit? Jesus, John, your wife may have had cancer, but Ignoranthippieitis is terminal, too. For anyone around it.
[re=530247]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: Flensing, my, oh my, brilliant.
The author of the article is just as creepy as the photographer setting up the camera on her sidewalk.
Pantless Carla B.: extremely acceptable. Pantless Rielle H.: nuh-uh. PS What IS that thing Johnny’s holding up in that ubiquitous snapshot, a pewter model of the crown of his weenie?
The lucky kid has something I bet none of us has: a video of him being conceived.
Yeah, [re=530199]kaykel96[/re], I keep sending my $100, but have not yet received my hawt, younger Russian GF; is your website broken?
M. deGoal — You’re right, of course. I think very few sons of mill workers would, if given the opportunity to bang a flighty loopy blond, would say no. I’d hit it, but I would have at least used some pro-tect-ion.
[re=530200]Seanibus[/re]: I was reading part of “Game Change” this morning. According to the book, Edwards angrily rejected requests by his advisers to distance himself from Hunter. It goes on to say what a titanic meglamaniac he was. I can’t beieve I actually like this guy once.
I’m pretty sure that the pearl necklace she’s wearing is some sort of subliminal message. She is trying to tell us something. But what? Oh my! Did she go off and artificially inseminate herself after receiving a turkey-slap with gravy? Is that what she’s saying? My respect for her has increased substantially.
Imagine how Edwards felt when he found out that Rielle was not only crazy in bed but crazy everywhere else, too.
He was just trying to honor the memory of his deceased son, who probably would have grown up to be a pussy hound just like his dad.
She was sans culotte to show potential beaus (+ Johnny) that she won’t wear the pants in any relationship.
The guy must have a lot of love to go around if he still had some left for Rielle. Just looking at him gazing longingly into his own eyes, I can see his greatest love of all was for his hair. His beautiful, beautiful hair. Oh John, why’d you have to go cheat on your hair like that with a worn out woman in Uggs?
[re=530290]Buttery1000[/re]: Which is why it is a good idea to wait more than 15 minutes after meeting to commence the unprotected bangery.
My mama always said “Don’t go messing with teh crazy.”
Lisa Jo Druck’s daddy killed her pony for the insurance money. It’s hard to know if nature or nurture cranked up the crazy in her.
Wow, a Californian who quotes philosophy from refrigerator magnets. Stunning.
[re=530181]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Hands-on populism, indeed.
She looks seriously better in that pic than she has in the past.
[re=530267]Prommie[/re]: I knew there was a reason they made us read Moby Dick in high school. That reason being the greater comprehension of Wonkette comments, of course.
Fox News reports on the Rielle Hunter GQ photos:
http://www.gotchamediablog.com/2010/03/fox-news.html
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[re=530338]snideinplainsight[/re]: Why do brown stripes mysteriously appear in underpants?
“Now is the time to stop wearing underpants, and begin to loll around with Cabbage Patch kids.” – Rael
Is it a coincidence that China decided to reduce its holdings of Treasuries after this? And to think, Rielle would have the first pantsless inaugural ball gown. Actually, inaugural ball takes on a whole new meaning.
[re=530338]snideinplainsight[/re]: Get rielle, rael, I mean real.
[re=530307]natoslug[/re]: If learning to love yourself is, indeed, the greatest love of all, then John Edwards has PLENTY to go around.
[re=530338]snideinplainsight[/re]: Raelianism is still somehow less loopy than Riellianism.
He is very kindhearted and sweet. He’s very honest and truthful
You know, she doesn’t LOOK 16 (more like twice over plus some), but she sure sounds like it. Except that 16-year-olds usually don’t have so much pseudo-spirituality going on.
[re=530309]the problem child[/re]: Now you tell me.
Not wearing pants is a sure fire way to end up preggers.
[re=530284]Cape Clod[/re]: Yeah, me either. I met him once under rather stressful circumstances that are too complicated to explain here, but he was very reassuring and helpful, so I always rather fond of him. And here he turns out to be an EPIC ASSHOLE. Asshole.
And so I told him, “If you want to make God laugh, take off your pants….and let me get my camera.”
“On The View this morning, Barbara Walters said Rielle Hunter called her in tears over the suggestive nature of the GQ photos. Hunter said screamed for two hours upon seeing photos that show her bare-legged on a bed, wearing only a man’s white dress shirt and a pearl necklace. Hunter told Walters she had trusted the photographer and believed him when he told her “he thought there might be one” usable shot that showed her being sexy.”
Oh, honey.
[re=530545]american mutt[/re]: “Honey, you can get pregnant wearing a suit of armor if the guy’s got a can-opener handy.” Anne Landers, way back when
[re=530265]Mad Brahms[/re]: Remember that the next time you watch a cheesy, cornball, chick-flicky type of movie and you think to yourself, “god almighty, this is so unreal, nobody fucking talks like that.” Think of the poor schmuck (genius?) screenwriter who never pauses for a moment, thinks to himself ‘Jesus I just can’t do it’ right before putting this retarded masquerading as clever dialogue into some pathetic character’s mouth.
Oh, and love means never having to say your sorry, too!
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