Residential real estate is back! “In a giant auction, the federal government has agreed to sell for pennies on the dollar most of the 120,000 formaldehyde-tainted trailers it bought nearly five years ago for Hurricane Katrina victims… Besides formaldehyde, units may be plagued by mold, mildew and propane gas leaks, FEMA acknowledged.” Well, our dizzying, oddly-vented shower unit that says “Auschwitz” on the side keeps erupting into spontaneous blue fires, only a few years after buying it at that underground German government auction. So maybe this FEMA thing is a good opportunity for your Wonkette to buy some new office space, no? [Washington Post]
Political Wire
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{ 39 comments }
Overcrowded prison problems solved.
Holocaust joke! WIN!
So let me get this straight… FEMA can’t predict when a hurricane will hit, but it can discover a type of mold capable of growing in formaldehyde? Genius comes in strange forms, my friends.
Will the meth labs be intact, or do I have to start from scratch?
I thought these were part of the FEMA built concentration camps that ACORN was going to put all the conservatives in?
Formaldehyde can come in handy when you’re dead.
It’s a small step up from my cardboard dwelling.
Will it keep the rain off your intertubes and allow your modems to remain dry? Then yes, call your Remax agent. You’ll adjust to the smell.
So FEMA’s decided to move from indirectly killing poor people by inaction to a more proactive mode; good for them.
Excuse me, are you down with this whole social justice thing?
One of these would be a great acquisition for the Dubya Whatever-it-would-be-in-place-of-a-presidential-library. Or maybe I’ll buy one and use it for my planned Metaphors for Horrible Shit Museum.
Be the envy of your bohemian, 20-something friends with your ironic purchase of a smelly, toxic trailer!
Crawford Estates.
They don’t have any more formaldehyde than Ikea furniture. That there shit is in this stuff called “urea-formaldehyde glue,” which most people know under the more common name, “glue.” Its used to make plywood and particleboard, which is used to make everything in your world.
Its like, lead fishing sinkers, get this, hold on, brace yourself, contain lead.
[re=529754]SmutBoffin[/re]: I want to live in a boat in a quarry, like that dude in Garden State, and then I can get a girlfriend who has to wear a crash helmet!
HOLD ONTO THEM, gummint! We will need them when our diabetic fat-asses die, for coffins.
…good opportunity for your Wonkette to buy some new office space…
I thought Our Wonkette was housed in the luxurious Wonkette Media Towers and Grill.
Will the formaldehyde smell go away if I leave a window open? Are there windows? Will they deliver to Golden Gate Park? Will they take gum as a down-payment?
I had no idea formaldehyde was good for my taint. Thanks Jim!
Even if they are “not suitable for housing,” they are still a product of a thousand uses:
* Meth lab
* Store corpses
* Make your own penicillen
* Write country music
* Attract tornados
[re=529763]Chickensmack[/re]: This comment is funny cuz it’s true. We could feed the bodies of these, uh, “supernumeraries”* to killer whales or whatever, but the levels of cholesterol and sodium would be bad for these endangered species.
* As adjudicated by Death Panels, of course!
[re=529752]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m assuming said museum will include a mint copy of “My Pet Goat.”
[re=529769]Joshua Norton[/re]: Honest, no shit, the formaldehyde-containing building components will stop out-gassing at 3 to 4 years after manufacture, this has already happened, and also too, yes, opening the windows, makes it go away; the primary reason mobible homes have higher formaldehyde concentrations than regular homes is they have fewer windows and poor ventilation.
The threat of a formaldehyde-holocaust resulting from people living in these things is, oh, about as great as that tremendous black death decimation of the population we suffered this year from the Swine Flue Pandemic of Doom. Its ashame that the lingering effects of the hsyteria over these trailers will prevent the government from doing anything common-sense or useful with them, like, say, housing the homeless, because some homeless advocate will accuse the government of trying to kill them with these trailers of death, why, they are just like the shower heads at Auschwitz, thats right.
[re=529755]Troubledog[/re]: You ever seen ‘em before? Miles and miles of these things, sitting outside of Hope, Arkansas.
I interpret this event as definitive proof that the government killed JFK.
The end.
Skoal Rebel, this may be your lucky day!
Meg? Meg Whitman? Is that you?
[re=529768]qwerty42[/re]: That’s just the annual Wonkette Canada Day pig roast.
Nothing says “Real ‘Merikan” like wall-to-wall shag fiberglass and fake wood death paneling.
I’ve already bought six for my neighbors. Of course, this being Idaho, the trailers may be a step up from the radon-filled toxic meth dumps they’re already living in. Hopefully the addition of mold and formaldehyde will prove too much, though, and I can finally expand my compound.
Hey, isn’t there some Ron Paul community starting up out in the middle of the desert that could use these?
My perfectly-decent brother-in-law sells mobile homes. Yep, just what the mobile home market needs: free mobile homes being given away.
No worries! Our Sarah has loads of money from selling her “memoirs” to illiterate, Fox News watching couch potatoes and she’s in the market for something a touch more upscale than that meth shack in Wasilla. She and her clan can have their very own, personal, private and discreet trailer park! We can put it somewhere in the San Fernando Valley, not too close to L.A. but not too far from Hollywood. She could see Mexico from her back yard. Too. And also.
[re=529752]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “One of these would be a great acquisition for the Dubya Whatever-it-would-be-in-place-of-a-presidential-library. Or maybe I’ll buy one and use it for my planned Metaphors for Horrible Shit Museum.”
Oh Wookies, I love you — you make me laugh. *drink*
[re=529896]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Buy a GM car. Get a mobile home!
I hear Israel is buying bulk for their next settlement.
The best part of GSA auctions is the other stuff they sell and some of the unintended fun that results. Not long ago they had out-of-date hazmat suits which were pictured being modeled in front of these FEMA-formaldehyde trailers…
[re=529760]Prommie[/re]: And the formaldehyde is probably a minor hazard floating in the usual haze of cigarette/dope smoke, vaporized frying lard, cheap liquor fumes and general B.O. found in these hell-boxes…
[re=529760]Prommie[/re]: Formaldehyde glue is how I stay so young and wrinkle free. I sent Jim some for his birthday.
[re=529738]MMS[/re]: too soon
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