- Set your alarm clock! Pre-orders for Apple’s latest slickly packaged menstrual product for ladies commence on April 3. [CNET]
- Huzzah, the government will stop subsidizing student lenders and will just make direct loans to students (if the budget bill ever passes)! [New York Times]
- Beloved Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn won some other thing! [BBC News]
- Harry Reid’s wife and daughter were seriously injured in a car wreck, but they are both OK so feel free to make jokes about that as long as you are not David Denby. [Los Angeles Times]
- Andrew Cuomo will no longer investigate precisely how corrupt New York Governor David Paterson is, as this investigation was ruining the appearance of impartiality, which Cuomo would like to maintain so that he can be governor. So some ex-judge will now be probing the blind gov, for fun. [AP]
- People loaded up on worthless consumer goods in February, despite the blizzards. [BusinessWeek]
DAILY BRIEFING
March 12, 2010
Best Friday Ever
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{ 40 comments }
I’m going to buy an iPad and do nothing but eat Swanson TV dinner on it, meaning it’s going to have some apple cobbler stains very shortly.
P.S. I CANNOT BELIEVE MOM’S DIET SECRET WAS EXPOSED, ENABLING HER TO DROP 21% BODY FAT IN 3 WEEKS BY OBEYIND THIS ONE ANCIENT RULE!
I’m kind of impressed that a broken back and a broken neck are considered “non life-threatening.” Miracles of modern medicine.
Apple is putting wings on it’s Ipad !
Genius!1!1!!11! Green shoots! Green shoots!
All hail Steve Jobs for saving the economy for US Amerrikans.
So how many people are going to accidentally throw their iPads away in a stack of paper like they did their MacBook Airs?
Also, why is the AARP running an “iPad vs. Kindle” article in their bulletin? Are the olds interested in comparisons of hot new technologies, some of which aren’t even available yet? Will my grandma be camping in front of her local Apple Store? And do I get her iPad when she inevitably dies of pneumonia soon afterward? Tell me, AARP!
For your Friday amusement, Rickey penned a funny spoof on Glenn Beck. Enjoy!
http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com/2010/03/and-now-impassioned-oratory-from.html
[re=529365]norbizness[/re]: Those teeth bleaching ad are fucking creepy. What is wrong with that person’s lips?!?!
I am shocked that the Senate would countenance wasting student loan money on students, when it could instead be used to increase the actual profits of actual banks.
[re=529365]norbizness[/re]: Based on the ad I’m seeing, at least, it looks like her secret was sucking in her gut.
Why is it that so many of internet ads are of that form – “Learn how mom did X!”, when whatever crap they’re trying to sell has absolutely nothing to do with being a mom? There’s also “Single mom discovers trick to turn teeth white from home” on my sidebar right now.
Thank God it’s Friday.
That’s pretty shitty of Harry Reid to make his family go through all that just to score some sympathy votes. He should have waited until
closer to the general.
[re=529373]JMP[/re]: How about “Single mom turns tricks and gets white stuff on teeth” for a change?
Well so much for the next generation of kids learning any character. It takes some serious self-restraint to find yourself in your mid-20s, underemployed, and $120k in debt and not knock off mom and dad for their life insurance so you can get that whore Sallie Mae off your back.
Mormon car accident = Jameson joke FAIL
I see the Repubs still want to “conduct a probe” of ex-Cong. Massa, ew.
Today we are all blind governors getting probed. Preferably in a bathysphere.
[re=529369]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Will my grandma be camping in front of her local Apple Store?
Given the high statistical probability that your grandmother was some kind of former Playboy bunny who was among the legion that boned either Mick Jagger or Wilt “the Stilt” Chamberlain, it sounds like she’s been down widdit from the get go. Buying an iPad is the consumer equivalent of rocking out with your cock out. Not that I’m saying your grandmother has a cock, though there is also a certain statistical probability that won’t allow me to exclude that scenario, either. Also.
Ipads don’t really exist. Somebody just wrote a news piece on them as a thought ecperiment. Losers.
Experiment. Nice spelling.
Sara, please clean up the blogwhore on aisle 3, plz.
[re=529399]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Oops, sorry. this blogwhore.
So will Apple be marketing the new ipad with gauzy ads showing women frolicking in flower-filled fields celebrating their womenhood? Worst name ever.
I’m pretty sure the iPad should be a bit more rounded and softer if it’s going fool anyone into thinking you suddenly went from an A cup to a C.
Why do I have that not-so-fresh feeling today?
[re=529376]steverino247[/re]: Ah, so that’s the secret. No thanks; I’ll stick to toothpaste.
[re=529373]JMP[/re]: Why is it that so many of internet ads are of that form – “Learn how mom did X!”, when whatever crap they’re trying to sell has absolutely nothing to do with being a mom?
Because when someone is trying to sell you some worthless crap or some piece of idiocy, they want you think it’s coming from the only person you can really trust to do right by you – your Mom.
So, thanks for nothing, fake internet “Mom.”
Not that I’m saying your grandmother has a cock
No, that’s my wife. Unless I married my grandma. Um, that day is kinda hazy….
Politico comments section FTW!11!1
[re=529416]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Obviously, you don’t know my mom.
[re=529419]Mr Blifil[/re]: I appreciate the ensuing discussion on the Media Matters page as well, although there are a few “but liberals do the same thing on their blogs.” Yes maybe, but libs’ comments are 99% SARCASM (well, except for wishing that GWB would be thrown in prison and ass-raped for all eternity), while Politico/RedState yobs totally believe what they’re saying. Sad, really, that this is what passes for “compassionate conservatism” these days.
Sorry for no snark. BUTTSECKS, also.
[re=529365]norbizness[/re]: You know with all those ancient secrets it is amazing we are still a nation of obese fatties! So easy! Yet apparently so hard!!
[re=529365]norbizness[/re]: Anicent! [/speeling]
[re=529376]steverino247[/re]: Siemens make a mouth white.
[re=529419]Mr Blifil[/re]: They are very near insurrection, you know. So far, they do it one by one, one loon gunman at a time, but sometime soon, from the ranks of the teabaggers, there will be some John Brown-like raid armed raid on some federal facility, and it will actually be defended by the Boehners and the Parry’s and the Gingrich’s and the DeLay’s, and the Krauthammers and the Becks and the O’Reillys, and Hannity will probably take part, and that will galvanize the rest of the fucktards, and the civil war will be resumed (it never did end).
Put it this way, if anything like Ruby Ridge or Waco happened now, we’d have a war.
[re=529369]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Indeed. If the AARP readership is anything like my boss, who is officially an Old (and a wingnut too, even though he expressed glee at finally being eligible for Medicare so the business wouldn’t have to pay his health insurance any longer, thus allowing him to reap more profits), they think that Google should have a definite article in front of it, Internet is plural, and you access a web page by opening an Outlook message and typing the URL in the “TO” line, and then get pissed off when it doesn’t work because email is the same as the Internets anyway, right?
[re=529369]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Will my grandma be camping in front of her local Apple Store?
Steve Jobs lies
Grandma dies
But isn’t Biden’s motorcade still in Israel?
[re=529444]Prommie[/re]: “loon gunman” — heh — I see what you did there.
[re=529497]HuddledMass[/re]: Considering that its a typo which I did not notice till you pointed it out, I am inordinately proud of myself, now; do you think its up there with “truthy?”
[re=529423]FMA[/re]: Ha. There’s always a statistical outlier in any group this size, but most of us had pretty good moms, I’m guessing.
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