Hooray, basically all news is now just an experiment by some bored professor or newspaper intern to show that you, the person who reads shit on the Internet all day, will happily repeat and re-blog and re-tweet any fucking thing you hear or see, about anything, instantly, because that’s all people do in 2010. And that means your favorite president of France right now, Nicholas Sarkozy, and Wonkette’s favorite French singer right now (except for maybe Charlotte Gainsbourg), Carla Bruni, are still married and not known to be actually screwing around on each other yet.
Here is something our friends at The Awl blockquoted from some other website, and which we are repeating here with nary a motherfucking thought about its validity or veracity:
The news magazine L’Express said on its website last night that the rumours had been started by a “journalist intern” or trainee as an exercise to test the gullibility of the media. It said that the reports had been picked up by the blogs of “respected” web journalists but only as a “running gag”. The blogs had, inadvertently, given credence to the rumours and allowed them to make the leap into Italian and British newspapers, which reported this week that “all of France” was chattering about the alleged affairs.
Let’s post another picture of Carla Bruni and hit “Publish,” what do you say?
{ 78 comments }
I’m having some thought experiments right now, but none of them involve Sarkozy.
Ken,
Just to be sure, try posting more pictures of her and hitting “publish.” Never hurts to practice.
I’m going to need to see some more pictures to settle this one way or the other.
I think Ken is feeling randy baby!
P.S. Thanks for the hawt chick on the john pic….
Well at least she’s a tad more fun to think of than wheezing old Senators playing snap the towel while hairily, grossly, nakedly cavorting with each other in the Senate steamroom as prelude to marathon dick-choking sessions.
See? No matter how descriptive, right-thinking persons will retain the picture of Carla Bruni in their mind’s eye rather than Ben Nelson’s udders or Robert Byrd’s dangling, lopsided, wrinkled testicles. Uhhh…wait a second…maybe I should start over…
OK, fine, but what about that girl that Sarkozy killed in 1990?
That’s my favorite frenchy magazine intern ever. Let’s buy him a baguette and a hunk of cheese and some ennui and then give him a bath!
[re=528982]ManchuCandidate[/re]: But do they involve Tickle fights?
Regardez-moi, je suis le plus bete du quartier!
Hmmmmm….Was there no way to work snorkeling into this post, Ken? You’re a professional for gods sake!
Dammit, Ben Nelson! This time you’ve gone too far!
I would totally grope her in a non-sexual way.
What an amateur — if he wants to see a hoax that got picked up as a running gag and grew legs of its own, he should check out the idea that tax cuts increase revenue. Or that “driving a truck” is a qualification for national office. Or that if you want to make a comeback, you should hire Ari Fleischer to help orchestrate it.
Chaud, chaud, chaud.
So that Socialist asshole, Sarkozy, is married to that?
TEAM SOCIALISM!!!
See, people, if we had more nude or near-nude political figures like that, the public would pay a lot more attention to politics. Instead, we get (ugh) Rielle Hunter and lots of (ew ew ew) wrinkled old men snorkeling. At least the women and gays got their Scott Brown.
There’s no need for these professors and interns to run their own experiments on the media’s gullibility; we’ve already had one for years, it’s called the Drudge Report; and they still keep reprinting everything he says.
[re=529004]Buzz Feedback[/re]: *FAPPE FAPPE FAPPE*
As a service to fellow Wonquettistas, I have searched hard and long on the intertubes to find yet more pix of Mdme Sarkozy, and proudly present them for our mutual enjoyment:
http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/carlabruni.jpg
http://musicstreaker.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/carla_bruni1.jpg
http://yahudi4.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/carla_bruni_nue_7.jpg
http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Carla-Bruni4.jpg
She is a tad gorgeous.
Carla, you’re a perfectly lovely girl, but you really should fire the decorator who convinced you that floral headboards were a good idea.
/obligatory ghey comment
[re=528993]The Little Rock[/re]: I’m guessing they involve French tickle fights.
[re=528989]Mr Blifil[/re]: Yeah, fucking French– all of our sex scandals involve really ugly and mainly old people. Why can’t we have one of our hot politicians have an affair with a hot rock star?
um, so according to the alt text, carla bruni is a dude?
[re=529011]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Floral headboards are very forgiving of errant facials.
/obligatory guy who used to be an interior designer for trophy wives comment
[re=528996]dijetlo[/re]: Seriously, nine million Jacques Cousteau references come to mind, plus a bathysphere…
BREAKING — Carla Bruni is having a nude photo shoot in John Roberts’ chambers right now!
Today we are all Carla Bruni’s buttfloss.
[re=529011]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: There was a headboard? It was floral? Huh, I saw nothing of the sort, see, its amazing what people notice.
[re=529009]Extemporanus[/re]: I thought it was *fappez fappez fappez*
Oh, to have a bod like that again. Note to self: must start smoking, drink more wine, marry a diminutive president.
[re=529019]Extemporanus[/re]: Given that floral pattern, I can totally see why. But really, is there truly any such thing as an errant facial?
[re=529011]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: All I see in that photo is one fine leg and buttock and a mighty intriguing shadow beneath
Viva la Carla Bruni!! That Hungarian dwarf doesn’t deserve her.
She’s cute.
[re=529016]Crank Tango[/re]: Nicky Sarz IS French, after all.
[re=529025]Prommie[/re]: [re=529031]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I see London, I see France, I see that Carla’s recently had a Brazilian (wax, that is).
Je ne la forcerais pas à laisser mon lit pour faire des miettes.
Hubba hubba.
I’ll bet you she likes to fuck.
Of course you had to pick Serge and Birkin’s daughter. What about Francoise Hardy or France Gall?….or at the very least Emily Simone.
[re=529026]Way Cool Larry[/re]: That verb tense is only used in formal situations, or when one is unfamiliar with l’objet de la fappage.
So yes, you’re right, I should’ve said “fappez”.
[re=529030]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: An excess of botox, boner pills, and oysters can make the blowback of even the most mundane facial look like the morning after a bukkake bash for the blind.
Le socialisme, sign me up!
And let me just say, if I weren’t at work, I’d probably “publish” one myself.
My kingdom for a whore!
Liberté, Equalité, Fraternité!
Especially the Fraternité!
[re=529041]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: She has her thong in her mouth, I have finally managed to get up that high, but I cannot go further, the thong in her mouth, ohhhhh.
Thought experiment:
After repeatedly porking a staff member’s wife, John Ensign tried to pressure Nevada developer to hire embittered staffer as a lobbyist. Pass it on.
[re=529014]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Jerry Brown for Governor, 2010!
Anyway, one can’t blame Carla for swooning over Benjamin Biolay. She’s probably had a crush – like most 14 year old French girls – since she first saw his photos on the “Negatif” CD cover.
[re=529079]S.Luggo[/re]: In the words of Chris Rock, of course he tried to get her a job, she was his friend, thats what you do for your friends. I bet 3/4ths of the people here got the job they have now because their freind put in a word for them.
And Carla wonders why no one takes her opinions seriously.
BTW: She looks like a baked ham in that top photo.
[re=529094]Prommie[/re]: Yes but he (Mr. Staff Member) was certainly not a friend, any more.
[re=529102]Come here a minute[/re]: I sorry, I mades mistake.
Carla up there has reduced me to baby-talk. I can haz furburger?
Haha. Serolf David is stranded in an Air France terminal in North America right now, cradling the droopy remains of a raging hard-on. Poor bastard.
[re=529079]S.Luggo[/re]: Your rumor-starting thought experiment will fail; because it’s true.
Also! I’m very offended by these pictures of Bruni! Why doesn’t she have absurdly large breast implants like *Real American Girls* do, huh? Does this French dame she think she’s somehow better than us?
The only Frenchwoman who really could sing is that gal named after that rice dish.
You know, what’s her name: Michelle Rice-A-Roni?
Hmmm.
Doesn’t sound right.
“Respected internet journalist.” I call bullshit right there.
A well-placed source in Alaska told ME she had an affair with Trig. (She’s a cougar, it’s allowed.)
[re=529164]Neilist[/re]: Edith Pilaf? She’s a staple, all right.
I’d eat her corn.
[re=529177]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Edith Pilaf”? Doesn’t sound right.
“Edith Wild Rice & Mushrooms”?
“Edith Spanish Rice with Red Bell Peppers n’ Sausage”?
Naw, that’s not it either.
Their guys couldn’t make up the shit our guys do for sexy time.
I took me approximately .24 seconds to click that thumbnail.
[re=529054]Extemporanus[/re]: fappons !
[re=529054]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=529219]Crank Tango[/re]: I’d conjugate her verbs.
[re=529097]S.Luggo[/re]:
She looks like a baked ham in that top photo
Easter dinner at S.Luggo’s, everybody!
[re=529014]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Jerry Brown and Linda Ronstadt?
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[re=529247]Channingsdg[/re]: How much are the Trucknutz?
[re=529011]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: What headboards?
Coming too soon, try thinking of Ben Nelson….Auuugh! I went too far, instant soft-on.
She, being French and all, I can’t help which is furrier, the pits or the poontang? Not that I really care.
flowered head what?
How the f*ck do you run a country when you got that goin on at home…
BTW… A story that has not yet been picked up on the internet yet is that the Toyota acceleration issue is being caused by Chinese Army hackers. It is part of cooperative agreement between the Chinese and the CCEO (Obama) of GM to destroy Toyota and increase the value of the car company they jointly own…
http://www.radically-raw.com
How the *F*U*C*K* do you run a country when you got that goin on at home…
I would be pushing for a 5 hour work week too…
BTW – A story that has not been picked up on the internet yet is the Toyota rapid acceleration issue is being caused by Chinese Army hackers. It is a joint mission between the Chinese Government and the CCEO (Obama) of GM to destroy Toyota and increase the value of GM which they are co-owners of.
http://www.radically-raw.com
[re=529270]ttommyunger[/re]: I love French fur. I love it so much. And it’s so refreshing to see great women who don’t use a razor to make themselves look like they’re ten years old for their disgusting American pedophile boyfriends.
Fur is better.
I want to be a French or Italian President…….they get the best poon!
What makes something an “Internet Thought Experiment” and not “Trolling”?
How does a french girl hold her liquor?
By the ears!!
Get it??!! By the ears!!!
Wait, wait. I’m very confused. I’ve been told for my whole adult and pubescent life that French girls are disgusting, hairy and like to eat old smelly cheese and other old smelly things. Could it be I was misinformed? In our country politicians get the absolute worst of the opposite sex, so is France our politican’s sexual doppelganger? Can you get a good steak in Nice? A jack and soda on the Riviera? And socialized medicine for my exploding liver? The nude beaches aren’t as full of strange guys and hairy chicks as the pubs have always told me? Damn, I’M THERE!
Yeah, but the French health care system’s about to go tits-up, for the same reason ours will if we get one. And the only thing that is even remotely appealing tits-up in France is Carla Bruni.
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