In Iowa, some marblemouth gal is calling up folks and telling them to ask Rick Santorum “to apologize for his long-time support of radical pro-abortion politicians!” Huh? Oh, just Christine Todd Whitman and Arlen Specter, like 10 years ago, when they were really powerful Republicans. Jesus. Iowa in 2012 will not be like Iowa in 2008. (MORE CORN THEN.) [Salon War Room]
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I have seen with my own eyes “Slick Rick” Santorum plunge his forkéd tongue into the uterus of an unwitting mother and slurp her baby up like some unholy cannoli. Which makes sense because, after all, he is a filthy Papist. Burn in hell with your pointy-hatted Daddy, you transubstantiationist scum!
Meh. Needs more regurgitated pea soup and demon-eyed sheep.
If I was going to attempt to attack Rick Santorum from the right, I’d probably fall off the edge of the earth on my way to get there.
Santorum has also been known to hob knob with nonchristians, he has dandelions in his front yard, he has tried to pass expired coupons, drinks caffeinated coffee and he doesn’t floss everyday!!!!!!!!
This is going to be the wackiest election yet. Yay!
That sort of thing could cause one to turn septic and miscarry if improperly cleaned afterward, I suppose. Doesn’t seem likely to be common, though. Ms. Whitman must be into some sick shit to have confirmation of such occurences.
Uhhhhmmm What? Get the fatback out of your mouth lady. What the fuck is a radical pro-abortion politician? Thankfuly Iowa has passed that bill to criminalize misscarages, I bet the women of Iowa are jumping for joy. Followed right behind in dipshit crazy, Utah! Way to go states, you’ve made a cops job nearly impossible in those states.
Great — now I don’t mind if I go deaf. After hearing Arlen Specter called a radical, there’s nothing left to hear.
[re=527165]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: Well, does anybody *really* know what happened to the Santorum’s stillborn baby after they were done parading it around in public like a taxidermied fish?
Uh, you don’t get more hardcore than Karen Santorum. Baby Gabriel was diagnosed via ultrasound at week 19 as having a closed “posterior urethral valve” (the opposite of Roy Ashburn), and went ahead and carried to term anyway, taking the dead baby home with her for the night and sleeping with it before returning his body to the hospital. Then in 2008, to honor Sarah Palin’s candidacy presumably, she had a daughter with the fatal anomaly Trisomy 18. Daddy Santorum presumably deferred to his wife on these occasions (her “choice”), though I suppose he may have required these acts of ultimate fealty to the cause.
The Santorums really really don’t like the notion of abortion, in case you were wondering.
‘Hee Haw’ used to be funnier.
She’s right: Rick Santorum is a pole-like frog.
My God. Do we have to worry about Iowa NOW?
I’m glad to see the 2012 Republican candidates continuing to suck so hard. With as stupid as the American electorate is, I don’t think Obama needs a real opponent.
So, Santorum is basically a white Alan Keyes, Snowbilly is just trying to graft campaign cash to syphon off into “Bristol’s PR firm,” and Mittens is still a tax-and-spend Mormon fraud. They may have to dig up the corpse of John McCain to have a chance at 45 percent.
“Radical pro-abortion politicians” means ones who favor women having shoes and time between pregnacies.
I haven’t heard “marblemouth” used since my dad checked out in early ’00. This is the perfect place for it to come back into circulation.
[re=527176]drpangloss[/re]: Well if they’re jumping for joy they better be careful. All that bouncing around can cause a felonious miscarriages.
This attack won’t work. In Iowa, they grind up aborted fetuses for food. That’s what makes them Maid Rite burgers so tasty. Iowans will never vote for anything that harms Maid Rites.
And besides, the real reason to attack Rick Santorum from the right is that he likes to lube up and wriggle his penis around in other men’s internal excrement, thereby causing a frothy mixture. Also.
Maybe she was just trying to have some fun; while it’s not possible to get more uterus-controlling than the former embarrassment of a Senator, hearing him of not loving the embryos enough could cause the Santorum children to cry, and that’s always funny.
So that’s what happened to Cindy Brady. She sells seashells by the seashore.
@hiphophitler remember it’s a frothy mix.
Seriously, an attack from the right on Rick “man on dog” Santorum? There cantbe much room to the right of Rick that’s not occupied by Osama bin Laden and Liz Chenney.
I’m all for aborting Santorums.
Plus sometimes he pulls out.
Rick Santorum doesn’t stand a chance here in Iowa. Sarah “Bible Spice” Palin has the batshit crazy vote all wrapped up.
[re=527186]Mr Blifil[/re]: Damn just when I thought the Santorum’s couldnt get any creepier.
Very hillbilly, right down to phoning in her message through a Dixie cup.
Wait “Republicans for Choice” is a radical group? Yikes.
This is so funny that I came just thinking about it. Santorum – the man so cool that he became a noun. Santorum – he of the dour-faced Election Night ’06 family photo, with daughter’s plaid matching her doll’s. Santorum – the man so attached to Pittsburgh that he sent his kids to an online taxpayer-funded school in the area while living in the DeeCee suburbs. Santorum – he of man-on-dog attraction. Santorum! Say it loud and there’s music playing! Say it soft and it’s almost like praying. SANTORUM, US AMERIKA NEEDS U IN 2010!
I guess it’s not too shocking that the church is “Walnut” Creek…
So if we were expecting the 2012 debates between Republicans to be arguments over who has the most Bible passages memorized, wants to bomb the most countries, or give the biggest tax cut to their rich donors…yeah, this changes nothing.
More distressing, I hear Ricky favours pool. With a capital P. Rhymes with T. Which stands for trouble.
TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE
TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE
TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE
As usual, the only thing that REALLY matters in the GOP Big Tent is abortion. It’s fucking nutcases like this bitch that sent me out the Big Tent’s exit…
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