Been married so many times, she got rice marks on her face.On this glorious morning in DC, the first legal weddings of the homosexuals took place. Hooray! And all thanks to Supreme Court Chief Justice John “Gay” Roberts, who so loves his people that he didn’t overturn the local law or call for mass arrests or appoint George W. Bush president. About a hundred couples are expected to exchange vows today, and then there will be no more sadness, because they too can register for a bunch of shit from Crate & Barrel. [Washington Times/Fox News]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • An Outhouse

    Roy Ashburn and Eric Massa, cum on down!

  • thejesusandmarycheney

    Roy already promised his ring to that sexi Mexi he was busted with in Sac-town. Just get a cab this time, girls!

  • Troubledog

    It’s great that Massa and Glenn Beck will have so much to talk about today.

  • the problem child

    D.C. divorce lawyers are salivating at this unexpected kick to the industry.

  • tehbenton

    Larry Craig can finally legally consummate his unrequited love for Lispy Graham.

  • qwerty42

    Well, from Yglesias:
    According to my condo email list, three heterosexual married couples have already broken up now that the institution of marriage is “totally gay” and ruined.
    See!!! This is all a part of the feared “Homosexual Agenda”.

  • JMP

    Finally, McConnell and Graham can make it official! It’ll be so beautiful. And Santorum can just cross the border to get legal sanction for that man-on-dog action he’s always craved.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Oh please, Ken. Crate and Barrel is so last year. This year’s wedding registry hotspot is the world famous Blue Boutique.

  • proudgrampa

    I’m OK with it. But with divorce rates so high I would caution any couple to take their time with getting married.

    Gay marriage will not be immune from this: “The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”

  • Autoo

    [re=527113]qwerty42[/re]: [re=527116]proudgrampa[/re]:I have the solution to saving The Sacred Institution of Marriage:

    Since Catholics are prohibited from getting a divorce, only let gay Catholics get married, in the church!

    Make all gays become Catholic if they want to get married; simple, no? Nobody can get divorced, everyone stays married, bingo! Sacred Institution saved.

  • Mr Blifil

    This will be a banner year for poop.

  • gurukalehuru

    Sorry to go OT so early in such a rich thread, but Rush Limbaugh said he would leave the country and move to Costa Rica is health care reform is passed. I’m sure he’s bluffing, but it’s nice to dream.

  • JMP

    [re=527120]Autoo[/re]: One of the biggest reasons that so many people get divorced is because they get married when they’re not ready for it; so then it turns out they can’t live together, are sexually incompatible, or just not ready for commitment. To lower the divorce rate, we can institute a minimum marriage age of 25, and only allow couples to marry that can show they’ve been living together for at least one year, and certify they’ve been regularly sleeping together for at least two.

    People wouldn’t get married before they’re ready for the commitment, and the divorce rate would go way down; the Christianists want that, and should love my proposal, right?

  • Come here a minute

    Break out the Franzia box ladies and gentlemen, you deserve it!



  • cheaphits

    Why do people assume divorce to be a BAD thing???

    Jeezbus, mine were a cause for celebration for all concerned!

  • Troubledog

    At least they don’t pay for their back-waxing with a RNC credit card.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=527126]gurukalehuru[/re]: Hmph. Translation: all his Costa Rican prepubescent boy toys must be sending him increasingly plaintive love notes. Heed their siren call, Rush! Go to!

  • proudgrampa

    [re=527127]JMP[/re]: I especially like the 25-year minimum age. Before that, you’re too young, immature, and un-established to live with and potentially support another human being.

  • user-of-owls

    But, but…does Crate & Barrel even offer “His and His” matching towel sets?!

  • dannygutters

    Harry is the one I think you will marry

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=527140]user-of-owls[/re]: Actually, Pottery Barn used to sell “His and His” matching toothbrush holders (now sadly discontinued). Also, Lindsey Graham called and wants his wedding dress back, dammit.

  • St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended

    So, does this mean Mary Cheney is gonna make Heather Poe an “honest woman” now? Or will they just continue to live in sin?

  • user-of-owls

    [re=527126]gurukalehuru[/re]: [re=527137]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Oh, that’s rich. Until last year, “Costa Rica operated under a government-owned monopoly insurance system.” Now, after CAFTA was jammed down their throats, “private insurance is available through INS, the government-owned insurance monopoly.”

    I would love to be the one to tell him that as he deplanes at Aeropuerto Juan Santamaria.

  • BigDupa

    [re=527126]gurukalehuru[/re]: Of course he would. Land of legalized prostitution. He can troll with all the fat German dudes– low cost viagra too. Why hasn’t he moved yet?

  • OzoneTom

    Love the alt-text. Now I have to go find that old Tom Waits CD…

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=527147]user-of-owls[/re]: So he’s leaving America for a place with free healthcare and ready barely legal boysex (I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt on the barely legal thing, mostly because I don’t want to think about it any more than I have to) — so why the hell is he afraid of becoming more like Europe? Considering that Rush probably doesn’t tip for shit, he’s been European way before the rest of the country.

  • thefrontpage

    Among the couples getting married are Roy Ashburn and Eric Massa.

    Their collective name will be Massa-Ashburn.

  • Wanderlust

    I saw this on the news this morning. The first couple o’lesbians had a reception set up… somewhere. Some guy from some yay-for-teh-ghey organization helped set it up. The Fox 5 news chick was all, “How did you manage to get this reception together so quickly?” Now, I’m not sure what he actually said, but the man who sleeps in my bed yelled, “He’s a gay man. He can put together a 150 person champagne brunch reception in 2 hours!”

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=527126]gurukalehuru[/re]: Isn’t Costa Rica where Rush goes with giant suitases stuffed with Viagra, for the sex tourism? I think Rush is trying to tell us something, subtextually.

  • Cicada

    Yay yay yay yay yay.

    And fuck the DC archdiocese, who has shut down all of their adoption services and is denying any employee who got married after gay marriage became legal spousal benefits.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=527147]user-of-owls[/re]: From the bit about joining the Costa Rican Health care system: The cost to affiliate with CCSS is approximately 10 to 11.5% of your income

    So Rush, who recently signed a a $400 million contract, would be kicking in $40 million into the Costa Rican health care system over the life of that contract.

    I’m sure he’d be more than welcome down there; watch out, cabana boys!

  • proudgrampa

    [re=527161]Mr Blifil[/re]: Oh, Rush is just a bunch of nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

  • thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=527160]Wanderlust[/re]: I loled.

  • Autoo

    [re=527166]proudgrampa[/re]: You honor me, sir.

  • Autoo

    [re=527164]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Sounds a lot like that flat-tax thing the Repubs like so much. (At least the ones you can get to admit that there ought to a tax system at all).

  • thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=527161]Mr Blifil[/re]: It was the Dominican Republic where he was busted. But I’m sure he hops for islands than Douglas MacArthur.

  • thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=527180]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: *more islands [mumbles something about being drunk on Wonkette at work]

  • GOPCrusher

    This news is bound to make Baby Jesus cry.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=527160]Wanderlust[/re]: Gay Marriage Day win.

  • NYC prof

    Yay gays!

  • zoink

    [re=527132]cheaphits[/re]: Yes my wedding day was one of the happiest days but my divorce day was even happier!! Divorce is fantastic!

Previous articleNew Foreclosure Nightmare: California Vineyards
Next articleRick Santorum, The Devil’s Abortionist