Here is today’s hot naked story from quitting Rep. Eric Massa, who is clearly being forced out to get this health care bill through. He is a hippie who will not vote for it: “Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn. He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive… I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.” [Real Clear Politics, The Hill]
DEMOCRATS ARE WEIRD
March 8, 2010
About That Time Rahm Emanuel Stabbed Eric Massa With His Penis In The Showers
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{ 62 comments }
Oh, heavens, sounds like the start of a bad porn movie.
If he’s really the son of the devil’s spawn, can he get Satan to vote for health care reform? Every vote counts!!!
Rahm won’t rest until Massa’s in de cole cole ground.
Rapey.
Dude, you are SO lucky the finger was on your chest. Could’ve been SO much worse.
If Wonkette did not exist, it would be created as a result of this audio segment.
PS – Methinks the former Congressman doth protest too much.
Rahm’s office just put out the world’s shortest retort: “And…?”
Ha. I get it. Rahm has no fingers. Only penises.
Um, Eric, are you sure that was his finger?
Reowrr!
Sounds like someone’s getting a little catty ’cause he didn’t get that reach-around he was promised.
[re=526364]Dr_Feelquestionable[/re]: Does he mean Rahm is literally Satan’s grandson (cuz that would be kinda cool) or is it just the Jewish thing? My guess is the latter.
You know he was only uncomfortable because he had a raging hardon for Rahm.
Rahm Emanuel: See him in his fictional UK equivalent, The Thick of It’s Malcolm Tucker http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il3ZIoEHBBs#t=28s
How unfair – Massa gets to enjoy my number one fantasy.
And yet Health Care Reform remains unpassed.
Scott Brown was the last straw for Rep. Massa. All the naked men just made it too hard for him to continue in Congress.
[re=526381]bigblueboo[/re]: In the Loop?
“Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn. He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive”
So Rahm is, in fact, the most vicious ends-justify-the-means player in Washington. Who just can’t happen to get a watered-down version of healthcare reform passed. The other possibility is that Massa is just a big sissy we could do without. Hmmm…
Rahm has fingers? I thought his hands were like this?
I think I’ve just been sexually harassed by Rep. Massa’s salty mouth…
Oooh. Wish a nude Rahm would accost me in the shower. Grrr.
Son of a spawn is a grandson. So, he’s just 1/4 prince of darkness, which is more than an octolucifer, but hardly scary devil incarnate and apparently not enough to seal the deal. Come on, Nobama, time to step it up to beelzebub level.
And “Massa” as a name, really?
Don’t forget that Rahm had ballet training too, so it’s even more intimidating!
Actually, this sounds like the Rahm Emmanuel we would like Rahm Emmanuel to be. If he were actually on our side.
[re=526372]bitchincamaro[/re]: And they’re all spiky and acid-tipped.
Well, all except the one maimed in that tragic bris mishap.
Tres, Tres LBJ
whew! i thought he was going to say “strap his children to the front end of a dildo”
[re=526383]spryte[/re]: I was going to say, why does this asshole get assaulted by Rahm in the showers, when he is not even capable of appreciating it?
“I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.”
And that would be wrong?
[re=526388]Come here a minute[/re]: And coming from a former sailor, that must really say something.
[re=526397]predilectrix[/re]: quadroocifer?
Wait, what? One looks like this (http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/5633/38365217883e14de756f.jpg), and one looks like this (http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/5588/rahmemanuelgregsolano.jpg), and Massa has the nerve to ask what RAHM is doing in the gym?
“I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush…”
I am just going to cherish this image for the rest of the day and construct my own little – well, not little – fantasy to follow up.
Thank you, wonkette.
How many votes does one get by strapping children to the front of trains? If there is a Republican cow on the tracks, does that count as bipartisan? Moo baby!
I’d probably like Rahm if he was a Democrat.
No shower curtains in the Congressional gym? This has Lindsey Graham’s name written all over it.
[re=526388]Come here a minute[/re]:Scott Brown was the last straw for Rep. Massa. All the naked men just made him too hard for him to continue in Congress.
/Fixed.
“I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.”
So, would he have been less intimidating with a towel wrapped around his tush?
This makes me love Rahm EVEN MORE.
“Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?” And by “awkward” Massa clearly means “hot”.
“Do you know how hard it is to argue politics with a naked man?!”
No, but do tell me. Slower this time. Ah, yeah….
[re=526446]progressiveinga[/re]: What he meant was, it’s very awkward to be all shouty-arguey with Rahm while desperately covering up a raging hardon.
[re=526381]bigblueboo[/re]: Uncanny! I just watched In the Loop last night.
Emanuel’s office just clarified: ” That wasn’t his finger”
[re=526396]Mac W Cheese[/re]: Mmmmmm no kidding, I would drop the soap for that adorable, fierce, deformed little man.
He was sitting in the shower? On the floor or was it one of those handicapped things…
this ‘story’ is sounding more and more suspicious.
So Massa’s fantasizing Janet Leigh’s shower scene? Cue “Psycho” soundtrack…
is it… acid drenched?
Clearly, Rahm was Massa baiting.
(I expected this much earlier from you, [re=526402]Extemporanus[/re]).
[re=526552]bitchincamaro[/re]: Well done.
This steamy shower intimidation story only makes me like Rahm more.
[re=526552]bitchincamaro[/re]: What, March 3rd, Comment #1, wasn’t early enough for ya?
(Also, I’m concerned that you expected it from me at all. And flattered. But mostly concerned.)
Hmmmm where can i get on this Rahm action????
[re=526424]El Pinche[/re]: they used them to wrap that naked lady statue for Ashcroft.
“Massa bait” hits the wonkette lexicon.
So which finger was it??
EWWW…why can’t some things be left unsaid?
[re=526630]Extemporanus[/re]: Great Caesar’s Ghost, sir. I stand chastised, if not chaste. Carry on.
Massa sez: “here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest…”
The only heterosexual man who would use the word “tush” in this way is Richard Simmons.
[re=526381]bigblueboo[/re]: Saw that last year when I visited those commies in the UK…I LOVE that guy! Specially when his character came over to DC
[re=526381]bigblueboo[/re]: Uncanny resemblance in that clip. Malcom Tucker has Rahm nailed. A doppelgänger.
that dude works out? really?
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