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  • Your Earthquake of the Week is brought to you by the residents of eastern Turkey. [Xinhua]
  • It’s International Women’s Day. Have you bought a card and flowers for your favorite international woman? [CNN]
  • Men who have always longed to make love to a trash bag will be thrilled to hear that the city of Washington DC is handing out free female condoms. [Washington Post]
  • People actually voted in the Iraqi election, including Sunnis! [New York Times]
  • WHOOPS that American Al Qaeda guy nabbed in Pakistan over the weekend isn’t a filthy Californian, but rather some guy from Pennsylvania. [Los Angeles Times]
  • “The Hurt Locker” won every Academy Award ever, in order to spite James Cameron. [New York Post]
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