- There’s no hot sexy sex in the Paterson scandal(s), but nonetheless it is causing a wave of staff resignations and speculation about the governor’s own longevity in office. [Buffalo News]
- A man in a business suit calmly walked into the lobby of the Pentagon — just four blocks from the domicile of an easily offended Wonkette reader! — and opened fire, just like in The Matrix. [Washington Post]
- The House Foreign Affairs Committee decided that the Armenian genocide was an actual genocide, but that won’t stop Turkey from trying to be nice to the Armenians, 100 years later after they were genociding their asses. [Reuters]
- A “food” flavoring agent found in popular creamy “food” items such as salad dressing and chip dip may kill you due to salmonella. [Los Angeles Times]
- Kathleen Sebelius called a bunch of insurance industry executives on the carpet for raising premiums when the Administration was thisclose to handing them millions of healthy new subscribers. [San Francisco Chronicle]
- “Massive methane release” equals comedy, the end. [TG Daily]
DAILY BRIEFING
March 5, 2010
What Fresh Hell Is This?
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{ 45 comments }
I know what you’re thinking. FOUR BLOCKS, ALAN! FOUR BLOCKS!
There was a massive methane release here when I got up this morning…
I guess the only safe thing to do is to grow your own hydrolyzed vegetable protein and add it yourself.
Are they fucking serious? Aren’t governors automatically entitled to free World Series tickets if a team from their state is in it? What was Patterson supposed to do, *watch* the games on TV?
Something’s rotten in the state of NY, and this ain’t it.
Man, if this Pentagon shooter had only acted a week earlier, that crazy birther lady would now be the Republican nominee for governor of Texas. It’s all about timing.
Systems of the Downs
Did I say “birther”? I meant “truther”. Tomayto, tomahto.
That’s funny. I thought salmonella was a common additive in processed foods nowadays.
Anyone know what HuffPost’s stance is on salmonella and how it might impact my chakaras and candle therapy?
Hey, if all the Siberian permafrost melts and releases its methane, it’ll dwarf the stuff we’re putting into the air from car exhausts and factories. So it’s time to buy swimsuits and Hummers! Inland seas for everyone! Beach resorts in Canada! Par-TAY!
Thank you, Sara K. These are my words upon arising every day, and shall certainly be my epitaph.
[re=525159]Ronnie8[/re]: I prefer Days of the Gnu.
[re=525165]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: This isn’t fair. No one’s ever posted on this site with the header “Larry McAwful.” What gives? Blatant favoratism, that’s what!
[re=525161]coolcatdaddy[/re]: I’m not sure, but your aura looks spectacular today. I’d suggest a bit of aromatherapy before lunch, though.
The takeaway? Salad kills. Eat more pizza and pretzels!
[re=525165]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Has always been one of my favorite expressions.
See this is what happens when an over the edge teabagger has been watching Glennda Beck instead of listening to a real hero like G. Gordon Liddy. If he’d paid more attention to Liddy he’d have know to aim for the head. Fortunately, the guards had listened to Liddy.
I pretty sure Rush is pro methane. Any word from the drug addled gas bag on this?
[re=525168]Larry McAwful[/re]: Well, your odds would improve is you changed your moniker to something like “Drunken Republican Senator Caught Nude With Goat.”
The Buffalo News? I delivered that paper on a route just four blocks from my house!
Well, we can’t all be “lucky” enough to live in DC…any word on how big a teabagger the pentagon shooter was?
[re=525168]Larry McAwful[/re]: You need a more headline-ready moniker. Now Naked Bunny with a Whip… I can see that happening any day now.
Yay sex and death! Thanks for starting my weekend right, Sara.
Some stuff on the Pentagon shooter.
http://mediaelites.com/2010/03/05/j-patrick-bedell-on-wikipedia/
The important thing is that the Pentagon police have determined that the shooter was not a terrorist. In other words, I suppose he must be white.
Fucking Russians are gonna kill us all with their damn gas. No more cabbage soup and pierogi lunches at the Kremlin cafeteria, please.
The shooter was an Orange County, Von Mises-oriented, engineer — or, as conservative talk show hosts would say, a “San Francisco Democratic hippie activist.”
So, Siberia is farting in our general direction?
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What proudgrampa is this?
“A man who identified himself as John Bedell answered a call placed to a Hollister, Calif., home and said he had a 36-year-old son named John Patrick Bedell “who is in the Washington area.” The elder Bedell then said, “I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this,” and hung up.”
VanDeHighFive would be proud. It doesn’t get more kick-ass than to randomly call people in California until you get to the family members of the nutcase:
Q: Is this John Bedell?
A: Yes?
Q: This is the WaPo DOOD!!!
A: How can I help you?
Q: Are you related to John Patrick Bedell, like are you his “elder?”
A: I’m his father if that’s what you…
Q: OH DOOD TELL ME HE OWNED A BUSINESS SUIT…
A: What, I don’t know I guess for job interv…
Q: HOLY FUCK DOOD YOUR BOYEE JUST PULLED A DEATH BY COPPER AT THE MOTHERFUCKING PENTAGON HOMIE!!1!! COLD PULLED UP IN A STONE COLD BUSINESS SUIT AND JUST. WENT. OFFFFFFF!!1!!!1 DOOD I TOTALLY OWE YOU THIS WILL WIN THE MOTHAFUKKIN MORNING DOOD!!!11! Any reaction?
A: I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this.
Q: YO WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT?
[re=525168]Larry McAwful[/re]: Dorothy Parker quotes are always welcome. Larry McAwful not so much.
Would Patterson have been better off if he had saved his sexy sex confession for now, and admitted that he is very, very corrupt on his second day in office? I guess we’ll never know!
[re=525188]bfjm[/re]: Welcome back, moron! Now die. Hasn’t NSA perfected their reverse Cat 5 death ray yet?
If the Hell were a wee bit fresher we wouldn’t have this fukkin salmonella problem would we? It’s all the gawd damn government Hell Regulatin’ that got us into this mess and the only way out is a usb drive that will store our precious bodily fluids SO we can… oh fuck it.
Sneakers? We don need no steenkin sneakers.
[re=525231]V572625694[/re]: That’s got to be some sort of super secret CIA/KGB code sequence this guy is sending to someone, like “start the match” or “murder more Armenians”
There is no fucking fresh hell. It wouldn’t be hell without the fucking monotony. Its all the same old shit, over and fucking over.
I knew a nurse that worked in a long term care ward who had to do some hard time for getting pregnant from some vegetable protein.
[re=525158]Larry McAwful[/re]: Isn’t this precisely what that Department of Homeland Security report on domestic terrorism warned us about? The “Lone Wolf?” Remember how the right wingnutz got all upset about that Report? Geez – because (quite sadly) it has proven to be true? First Fort Hood, now this?
[re=525261]Prommie[/re]: So, how long you lived in Fresno.
And to the Armenian terrorist who blew up the Turkish Tourist Office in Paris on 7/7/78 when my wife and I were there to celebrate our 5th Anniversary: You missed us, you cocksucker!
[re=525187]TGY[/re]: You’ll have to ask Sarah Palin. She’s been sniffing Russian farts from her front porch for years.
[re=525172]Ducksworthy[/re]: On the one hand, it’s comforting to read that this guy could aim for the ground and miss. One the other hand, it’s depressing to see this is the state of marksmanship in this country. The British could re-invade, with their muskets, and win.
So, how much will the premiums go up to insure my fart-gun that uses kinetic poot-energy to fire salmonella-bullets that only hit Armenians who work at the Pentagon?
[re=525276]Tundra Grifter[/re]: And before that you had Timothy McVeigh, who had a little help from that guy who weaseled out at the last minute, but was pretty much a lone wolf who managed to do one helluva lot of damage with some fertilizer and home-style tinkering.
[re=525168]Larry McAwful[/re]: I once considered changing my screen name to “have a beer,” just because when you log in, Wonkette gives you that little greeting above the comment box “Welcome back, (screen name)!”
I always thought that would be the friendliest way my Wonkette could welcome me to another long day’s commenting.
[re=525180]JMP[/re]:
The important thing is that the Pentagon police have determined that the shooter was not a terrorist. In other words, I suppose he must be white.
Yeah, pretty much your “average” Paultard.
All the Turks I know hated Obambi/Polisi for their stance on the Armenian issue. Thank Zeus I love the Greeks, the NEVER did anything wrong, ever.
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