Georgetown Law Students Confused By Thought Experiment, Report Pretend John Roberts’ Retirement To Hollywood Gossip Website

by Ken Layne

Whew!So why did that dopey “Radar Online” website claim for a half-hour today that John Roberts was quitting the Supreme Court? Some first-year law student half heard the professor say something about John Roberts retiring for “health reasons,” didn’t realize it was part of a class exercise “on the validity of informants not explaining their sources,” and emailed the HAWT GOSSIP to the first thing that came to mind, a shitty Hollywood gossip site. And you wonder why lawyers are so fucking stupid.

Former Wonkette editor David Lat passes on this Eyewitness Report from the classroom:

Today’s class was partially on the validity of informants not explaining their sources. [Professor Tague] started off class at around 9 am EST by telling us not to tell anyone, but that we might find it interesting that tomorrow, Roberts would be announcing his retirement for health concerns. He refused to tell anyone how he knew. Then, at around 9:30, he let everyone in on the joke.

Everything about this is AWESOME, especially this picture we’re going to use again, from the Wonkette Vault:

It's fun to stay at the Y M C A
FINAL AWESOME POINT: Lat’s law blog actually contacted people who work at the Supreme Court to see if there was anything to this, and a “source noted that JGR would sooner die — literally — than give Obama the chance to appoint his successor.” So transparently partisan! Hooray for SCOTUS!

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


V572625694 March 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

“Today’s class was partially on the validity of informants not explaining their sources.” Did everyone at WaPo and Fox News get an “A” when they took this class? A source who was granted anonymity because doing so would make this comment more entertaining says, “Yes.”

Terry March 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

So, does the student who got the tip to Politico flunk or get an A?

AbstinenceOnly Ed March 4, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Don’t stop, people! If we wish hard enough WE CAN MAKE IT TRUE!. Though I prefer the odds of Scalia & Thomas murder-suiciding after a lover’s quarrel.


teebob2000 March 4, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Teh internets is stoopid.

chaste everywhere March 4, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Actually, I wasn’t wondering why lawyers are so fucking stupid. But thx 4 explaining anyhoo.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 4, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Just remember Ken, someday a lawyer might save your ass…..

Or put it away.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 4, 2010 at 5:49 pm

Lat was a law student once, he should know that anything they say is either bullshit or designed to help their grades.

Suds McKenzie March 4, 2010 at 5:52 pm

[re=524972]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:

Hutz: Any calls Della?
Della: Calls? Oh calls. The Supreme Court called again.
Hutz: Tell them to sit tight. I’ll get back to them.

#Della: The Supreme Court called again. They need your help on some freedom thing.

Mr Blifil March 4, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Yeah, he’ll be around a while. SCOTUS is the country’s most ginormous closet.

Lascauxcaveman March 4, 2010 at 5:57 pm

I hope in tomorrow’s class, Mr College Perfesser mentions that time Glen Beck raped and murdered a young girl, back in 1990. I mean, he has yet to deny it, I’m just saying.

springfield_meltdown March 4, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Based on what I’ve observed, male law students spend their time looking at naked ladies and playing fantasy sports on the internets while the women law students plan their weddings so it is quite understandable that they would miss something crucial a half hour in.

SayItWithWookies March 4, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Will this be on the test?

Radiotherapy March 4, 2010 at 6:10 pm

Gay law students are fucking retarded.

steverino247 March 4, 2010 at 6:19 pm

This just in… Chief Justice Roberts is gay in a 5-4 decision…

Red Zeppelin March 4, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Damn, I am so bummed. Still, the gheyness of that picture somehow makes up for my disappointment.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm

[re=524976]Suds McKenzie[/re]:
Hutz: All right, gentlemen, I’ll take your case. But I’m going to have
to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars? But your ad says “No money down”.
[shows his paper ad: "Works on contingency basis. No money
Hutz: Oh! They got this all screwed up…
[makes a few corrections: "Works on contingency basis? No, money
Bart: So you _don’t_ work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down! Oops, it shouldn’t have this Bar Association logo
here either.

[re=524985]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You are just asking questions. There is nothing wrong with that. I, for instance, want to know why Mr. Beck has never stated when he stopped molesting Collies.

honkyman March 4, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Damn. I totally believed it. Said the dude had epilepsy.

Do we really want a gay epileptic at the Head of the Supreme Court??

Pandy March 4, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Is it just me or does he look like an alter boy?

Flanders March 4, 2010 at 6:28 pm

[re=525000]Radiotherapy[/re]: Georgetown students are fucking retarded.

Potater March 4, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Even though he grew up to be a relentless douchehat, Roberts was a cutie back in the day. Such smooth, lustrous skin. Must have been those daily semen facials.

Extemporanus March 4, 2010 at 6:39 pm

[re=525009]honkyman[/re]: Their expertise could prove valuable in cases concerning the Fourth Amendment.

Aurelio March 4, 2010 at 6:39 pm

I think this classroom exercise had nothing to do with informants with unnamed sources. It was just a demonstration of how to lie and get away with it, which is the main point of a legal education.

Maus March 4, 2010 at 6:49 pm

[re=525033]Aurelio[/re]: ”
It was just a demonstration of how to lie and get away with it, which is the main point of a legal education.”

Moreso that impunity is the standard when dirty tricks can be played off as mere ignorance.

Red Zeppelin March 4, 2010 at 7:09 pm

So, is that Charlie Crist serving them something delicious and FABulous?

Mad Brahms March 4, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Lat for the win. A law blog worth reading, unlike that Bob Loblaw fellow.

Words March 4, 2010 at 8:08 pm

[re=524959]Terry[/re]: Neither— he/she becomes new editor of Politico!

Come here a minute March 4, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Lat’s law blog actually contacted people who work at the Supreme Court…

This is the real bullshit of the story — a bog actually doing some reporting.


Words March 4, 2010 at 8:11 pm

[re=525010]Pandy[/re]: He was Head Altar boy..

padrekino March 4, 2010 at 8:29 pm

drudge “report” carried this for an hour or so today…

Jim89048 March 4, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Christ, my heart can’t take the stress from hearing twice that the rumor isn’t true.

Jukesgrrl March 4, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Is this the same Georgetown law student who advertised on Craigslist for a personal asswiper? Actually, I don’t care if it isn’t; I’m going to say it is. I’ll call it a rumor.

the problem child March 4, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Fucking douchebag law students grow up to be fucking douchebag lawyers (I should know). I hope the media that was contacted outs this “source” so that people will know not to hire him in 4 years.

Come here a minute March 4, 2010 at 8:46 pm

[re=524985]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I heard it was a schoolboy.

plowman March 4, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Consider the lawyers: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fucking swine?

S.Luggo March 4, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Mmmm, mmmm! Baby dolphin medley on a platter. And sizzlin’ hot. Another bottle your best, chilled chablis, if please, garkon.

Fred Wertham Jr. March 4, 2010 at 9:16 pm

I recognize Rock Hudson and John Stossel, but I’m drawing a blank on the other guy.

Lascauxcaveman March 4, 2010 at 9:24 pm

[re=525087]Come here a minute[/re]: OMG, it was a schoolboy that Glen Beck brutally raped and murdered in 1990? I’m just asking. Mind you, he hasn’t denied it yet has he? I wonder why that is?

hotdog March 4, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I can’t tell you how I know this, but Chief Justice Roberts really is going to resign tomorrow, and he had that professor spread false rumors that original rumor was untrue just so it would be a surprise tomorrow.

Decker March 4, 2010 at 10:03 pm

A “source noted that JGR would sooner die — literally — than give Obama the chance to appoint his successor.”

Does this mean we can start a JGR deathwatch, or would that be too wingnutty?

S.Luggo March 4, 2010 at 10:48 pm

[re=525010]Pandy[/re]: Before or after a cetain intimate meeting in the rectory?

President Beeblebrox March 4, 2010 at 11:03 pm

[re=525088]plowman[/re]: I always liked Luke 11:46…

And he said, Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers.

S.Luggo March 4, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Like Nixon appointee, the former and now very deceased Chief Justice William Renchburg (ignore the rumors that Bill was actually abducted in the night by dark angels hired by Katrina vanden Heuvel), Roberts SHANT leave the court until he is carried out on his shield.
So little time, so many irritating parts of the Constitution to defenestrate.

Tony Scalia, on the other claw, is 74. Not that I wish him ill. I leave it up to the god Moloch to call him home.

Fred Wertham Jr. March 4, 2010 at 11:22 pm

[re=525123]S.Luggo[/re]: Defenestration references make Marie Osmond cry.

Katydid March 4, 2010 at 11:51 pm

[re=525085]the problem child[/re]: [re=525008]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: [re=524976]Suds McKenzie[/re]: While everyone certainly enjoys a good lawyer joke, judge jokes can be dangerous

S.Luggo March 4, 2010 at 11:59 pm

[re=525124]Fred Wertham Jr.[/re]:
Yet, she’ll be doing a tribute to the gheys at the Flamingo next week. SRO.

S.Luggo March 5, 2010 at 12:30 am

[re=525121]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

Noper. “Lawyers” is a King James Bible mistranslation of Latin vulgate, taken from 2nd century Greek thence from the original Aramaic.

The correct translation is, “Jesus said, Woe unto you experts in home cooling installation for you have exceeded your original estimate and I‘m still sweating like a Babylonian goat herder. Not paying you a fucking drachma.” True.

plowman March 5, 2010 at 7:16 am

[re=525121]President Beeblebrox[/re]: [re=525131]S.Luggo[/re]: Isn’t that the lush, comforting beauty of the Good Book? Whether sitting around a campfire or in the Supreme Court of these United States of America there’s always scripture appropriate to the moment AND an argument about how it actually means something else completely due to translation or copy errors. Amen.

Vartan84 March 5, 2010 at 8:40 am

This is an illustration of how news travels in the internet age, and how insanely easy it is to grip half the (blogging) world by a totally unlikely sounding and unsubstantiated story. It’s downright scary, what havoc anyone might be able to wreak upon literally EVERYTHING with this sort of power.

Monsieur Grumpe March 5, 2010 at 9:11 am

That’ll teach him to go to class stoned… or not.

TGY March 5, 2010 at 9:29 am

Hey, the first rule of the Supreme Court is the precedent.

bfjm March 5, 2010 at 9:42 am

Air jordan(1-24)shoes $33

BOOT $50

Nike shox(R4,NZ,OZ,TL1,TL2,TL3) $35
Handbags(Coach lv fendi d&g) $35
Tshirts (Polo ,ed hardy,lacoste) $16

Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30
Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,Armaini) $16
New era cap $15

Bikini (Ed hardy,polo) $25

…… , . – . – , _ , ………
……… ) ` – . .> ‘ `( …….
…….. / . . . .`\ . . \ ……..
…….. |. . . . . |. . .| ……..
……… \ . . . ./ . ./ ……….
……….. `=)\ /.=` ……….
…………. `-;`.-’ ………….
…………… `)| … , ………
……………. || _.-’| ………
…………. ,_|| \_,/ ……….
……. , ….. \|| .’ ………….
……. |\ |\ ,. ||/ …………..
…. ,..\` | /|.,|Y\, …………
….. ‘-…’-._..\||/ ………….
……… >_.-`Y| ……………

thefrontpage March 5, 2010 at 12:16 pm

What an incredibly stupid “exercise.” Someone needs to lock up this so-called “professor” in a dark room with Jim Bunning, Larry Craig and Mark Foley for 24 hours. Then we’ll see about single-, double- and triple-”sourcing” something!

Seriously, what an asinine, dumb, stupid and moronic academic “exercise.” The professor should be reprimanded.

sezme March 5, 2010 at 12:54 pm

[re=525067]Mad Brahms[/re]: Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog?

undermedicated March 5, 2010 at 1:13 pm

[re=525192]bfjm[/re]: That’s hilarious! I get it.

Edywin March 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

I think I will have the Coach handbag on the side of CJSCOTUS. Now THAT is tasteful.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: