John Roberts Quitting Supreme Court Because He's Gay Or Something?

Look, we haven't read "Radar Online" since it was actuallyRadar Online, when Alex Balk was editor and Choire Sicha was "the cat." But whatever's left of that site -- OCTOMOM EATS OWN POOP, SUES BRAGJALINA!!! -- is reporting that wingnut Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is going to quit, for "personal reasons," meaning he likes to wriggle around in excrement. And then Barack Obama can appoint ... Tiger Woods?

AND NOW FOR THE SHOCKING "JOHN ROBERTS IS TOTALLY GAY" PHOTO.

[ Above the Law / Newser ]