The grifter is a busy bee this week: “The as-yet untitled book by Palin, widely considered to be weighing a run for U.S. president, will feature selections of readings that have inspired her and portraits of people she admires.” Okay Willow, crayons are over there under the Taco Bell bags, get to work on those portraits of Reagan and the ESPN Sportscenter anchor guys (but not Olbermann). Bristol? Clip some shit out of those old Reader’s Digests and Sunset magazines Todd stole from the dentist’s office to insulate the garage. No not the ads you idiot, the inspirationals! [Reuters]
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{ 81 comments }
Let me guess: “Portraits In Grifting.”
The cover will be tastefully Alaskajazzled.
Profiles in Cowardice.
If her “as-yet untitled book” is “widely considered to be weighing a run for U.S. president” (as opposed to president of the Epworth League?), count me in.
“will feature selections of readings that have inspired her”
In other words, she’s not even going to pretend to write this one herself.
The Scum Also Rises.
Chicken Soup for the Soul-less?
“How to Succeed in Publishing Without Really Trying.”
will feature selections of readings that have inspired her
“All of them.”
I think we can all agree that this classic ( http://www.mcnaughtonart.com/artwork/view_zoom/?artpiece_id=353 ) will be the portrait of people she admires.
If she claims to have been inspired by anyone but the Shrub’s fave philosopher I shall be severely disappointed.
“will feature selections of readings that have inspired her”
Refrigerator magnet quotes, remember?
And that pile of old Reader’s Digests in the cabin outhouse.
[re=524335]LordPretzel[/re]: There you go. I screwed that up on many different levels. I guess I was just so excited by the news of a new volume of work from this new giant in the world of white trash literature that I brain-farted on the damn title of that damn book that JFK didn’t write.
how can anyone make an entire book out of facebook copy and paste chain mail status updates?
Downs syndrome is not an illness, because people with Downs syndrome do not need medication to make them better. What they do need is the right to be accepted by society the same as everyone else….Downs syndrome is not an illness, because people with Downs syndrome do not need medication to make them better. What they do need is the right to be accepted by society the same as everyone else….Downs syndrome is not an illness, because people with Downs syndrome do not need medication to make them better. What they do need is the right to be accepted by society the same as everyone else….etc. etc. etc. plus pictures!!!
“will feature selections of readings that have inspired her”
“The description of the tortilla soup on the Max and Erma’s menu just makes it sound so delicious, ya know, and so I tried it and it was delicious. That was some good writing. And some good soup!”
[re=524348]jodyleek[/re]: Close. Chickenshit for the Soul, more like.
She’s the Steve Allen of our time.
There a lot of unemployed ghost writers out there. This could get ugly.
[re=524366]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I applied for the position, but Palin’s people rejected my proposed title: “America! Fuck Yeah!”
Lisa: This biography of Bart came out awfully quickly. It’s not even
about him!
Bart: Sure it is! Look at the cover.
Lisa: But inside it’s mostly about Ross Perot, and the last two
chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial.
[re=524357]GeneralLerong[/re]: Scans of Van Halen lyrics scribbled on filler paper.
[re=524368]FMA[/re]:
Obviously I’m not one of them.
As for your title suggstion, some people wouldn’t know a good idea if it grabbed them by the balls and yelled “Dinner time”!
The Bible (but only the good parts)
Malleus Maleficarum
Mein Kampf
She has about two years to cash-in before she has to admit she has no plans to run for president and never did. Joke’s on you, teabaggers.
Title: “A Roadmap for America: Energy,
Budgetcuts, Tax, Lift American Spirits”[re=524354]mardam422[/re]: *snicker*
[re=524370]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time!”
Seriously, this sounds stupider than [i]The Secret[/i] raised to the fourth power. Who the hell would buy stuff like this, not to mention actually [i]read[/i] it?
“Ril ‘Muricans” or “Profiles in Quitting”.
[re=524378]Ducksworthy[/re]: If only. Mind you, it would serve Sarah right if Hilter rose up from Gehenna and sued the shit out of her for copyright infringement.
[re=524383]Oldskool[/re]: Just after selling her valuable endorsement to the highest bidder (Mittens?).
She’s gotta have a new book out soon — after all, how else is she gonna stay on the road on a book tour, staying in luxary hotels, waited on hand and foot, car and driver and her disposal, dinners on the publisher’s expense account, and trips to the “Oscar gift suite.”?
Once the snowbillies have seen the Dallas Galleria, how ya gonna keep’em in Wasilla, also, don’t ya know, you betcha!?
And Ken, by the way, Todd, like most Esquimos, has no need to visit the dentist (except to steal magazines) since he keeps his teeth healthy chewing muktuk. When he is too old to chew the muktuk he will participate in Sarah’s reformed social security system and be comfortably seated on an ice flow for his departure.
“Anals of Greed.” *fixed*
I don’t think she will run because you have to be CLEAN and LEGAL with campaign funds and it would put off serious money-making for at least 4 years if the unthinkable occurred.
She does expect the nomination to be handed to her by God though.
Mitt and Jebby better watch out for lightening.
Let be be finale of seem,
The only Empress is the Empress of Ice Dweeb.
À la Recherche du Sanité Perdu
“Grifter Expectations”
“Quitting for Dummies”
I can only imagine that writings Sarah Palin finds inspirational are the same sort of crap that I regularly delete from my inbox — appeals from a little kid dying of cancer who wants to receive a million bottlecaps/Peeps/get-well-cards before he dies; a touching story about a cat who’s brought into an animal hospital with an arrow through his head and miraculously recovers; an epistle from a homeless mother on the verge of suicide who is saved by a vision of Jesus, etc. etc. with a tear-stained intro by Glenn Beck.
[re=524409]FlownOver[/re]: Remembrance of Trigs Past
Meth Valley Days: A Wasilla Story; Autobiography of Sarah Palin, written by a user hilariously named Track Palin.
For God, the troops and the stupid (a Tea Party manifesto).
Sarah, bless her little soul, doesn’t know the meaning of “autobiography.”
“Bonfire of the Vanity.”
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
I blame Andy Warhol.
[re=524349]Cape Clod[/re]: or: “… Without Really Typing.”
The Green and the Black (Les $ et le Noir…that Noir.)
Chapter 1: Trig is a special gift from God almighty; his toddler poop is packaged and sent abroad to missionaries in the country of Africa
Chapter 2: Love on a snow machine (but don’t get knocked-up!)
Chapter 3: Why Meg Stapleton is an enemy of freedom
Chapter 4: Munny nao plz
Why does our dear snowbilly grifter keep confusing running for public office with competing in a beauty pageant?
WALLACE: why wouldn’t you run for president?
PALIN: I would. I would if I believed that that is the right thing to do for our country and for the Palin family. Certainly, I would do so. . . . I don’t know if it’s going to be ever seeking a title, though.
Triumph of the Shrill
Pride and Prejudice
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Meanness
Cash and Cashability
Assuming that if the contributes anything, it will be some random people she heard of, I have one thing to say:
Keep your whorish rogue hands off Will Rogers, you bitch.
“Oil and coal? Of course, it’s a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It’s got to flow into our domestic markets first.” –Sarah Palin
I suggest the above Palin quote be in her first chapter: “And Jesus said, Let There Be Exxon”.
“A Dunce of Confederates”
I wonder how many pages of it will consist of inspirational messages next to pictures of cats hanging from trees?
You Betcha!
or
The People Of Walmart-A Pictorial Tour.
[re=524472]Mr Blifil[/re]: Winner!
Oh man there are some great titles in here.
Note to [insert ghost writer's name here] regarding ideas for Chapter 3: People I Admire:
Jesus (praise HIM!)
RONALD REAGAN!!!!
Tea Partiers – all of ‘em!
Todd
Olympic athletes (pick some from Winter Games)
Sean (Hannity)
Margarit Thatchar
Gov. Tim Pawlenty (another great guv!)
Trig and ALL special needs children plus the other kids, Bristol, Willow, Piper, etc.
Harry Truman ?
Rick Perry!
Need more strong great conservative women (think more about this)
Our brave troops!
Founding Fathers
Other historical figures (do you have any good ideas?)
Great Alaskans
Also, got your note about maybe too many inspirational quotes in Chapter 2. Don’t agree but will talk later.
Oh, god, a book on American values by grifter Palin: “Why Greed is Good”.
None Dare Call It Reason.
Onward christian suckers: How to fleece those born again every minute
Piper, sweetie, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), go tell mommy that her new book’s title and cover were decided upon awhile ago:
Alaskan Psycho by Sarah Heath Palin
And be a doll and make sure Kinko’s sends the royalties from each print-out to “Extemporanus c/o Wonkette”. (I don’t trust Walmart.)
Thanks, Pipes!
TTFN BFF!!
[re=524542]Extemporanus[/re]: Silly, Piper can’t read yet! She’s “homescholed”..or Roadscholed, whatever.
Great Exploitations
The Snatch in the Rye
20,000 IQ Points out of her Leagues
Native Slut
Dead Animal Farm
The Call of the Vile
The Idiocy
She thinks that to have her books on ‘Book of the Month club,’ she needs to ‘write’ a book every month.
[re=524378]Ducksworthy[/re]: Mein Kramps?
Great Expectorations
Quo Vaginitis?
A Tale of Two Cunts
A Child’s History of America
The Field Guide to North American Trailer Parks
Pray continue…
[re=524546]Ripley_in_CT[/re]: Dammit! Alright, new business plan:
Phase 1: Teach Piper to read
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit
[re=524607]WhatTheHeck[/re]: You know, I think you might be on to something there.
Has an author ever titled their book “Book of the Month”? Or even better, simply “Book”? I’d buy a copy just to support such a Brick Tamland-like act of inspired retardation, regardless of what the damn thing was about.
Huckleberry Tart
Palin Agonistes
Hole on Ice
The Queen and the DS Dauphin
Like Mitt’s upcoming book, I’m not so much looking forward to reading it as I am hoping for Noam Chomsky or Cornell West to review it.
Profiles in Bulshit
bullshit….dummass
The sun ALSO rises
[re=524950]BarackMyWorld[/re]: This is close.
http://washingtonindependent.com/78105/romneys-no-apology-outlines-foreign-policy-for-fantasy-world
[re=524378]Ducksworthy[/re]: The Wholly Babble
Thoughts during sex.
Naming my children.
Actually I’m relieved. If she gets the TV show (CBS I’m guessing)she will be about as presidential as Fred Thompson is/was/is.The fake books will never stop, however, and will continue to be bought by the truck load and then recycled same as pretty much any political book written from now on. For instance, ever seen anyone reading one say on a bus? Not for a long while right? Really I’m asking. I’m curious.
For those who could not already tell by the goatee, Todd has a harem of young male hotties. Will that be in this stupid ass book?
I Know Why the Caged Bird Grifts
[re=524531]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That was goooooood.
[re=524372]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Do not touch the balls.
Whore and a Piece.
Who’s Afraid of the Wasilla Wolf
It Takes a Village Idiot
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