Very important teevee alert: The Oscars are on this weekend. Hooray! It’s Hollywood’s yearly opportunity to decide which theme — the gays, poor black illiterate children, torture, Jews kicking ass, or homeless kids saved by nice white ladies – needs their undivided attention and will provide an acceptance speech that will make conservatives squirm/feel unappreciated/take off their shirts and thump their chests. Please don’t watch it alone.

We suggest you attend one of these Oscars parties:

  • Arlington Cinema ‘N’ Drafthouse: The D.C. Film Society is hosting their annual “And the winner is…” watch party at the Arlington Cinema ‘N’ Drafthouse. The event features local film critics, a silent auction for signed movie scripts, an in-house Oscar ballot contest, and a performance by “So You Think You Can Dance” winners. (Ignore that part!) Party starts at 6:30PM. Tickets are $20.
  • Maddy’s Bar and Grill: Maddy’s is celebrating the Oscars with happy hour specials and in-house Oscar ballot. The winner gets a $50 gift certificate to an undisclosed location.
  • National Museum of Women in the Arts: If you must, MUST go to an Academy-sanctioned viewing party (interestingly, they exist) don’t worry, there’s one in DC — The Oscar Night America Party — and it’s at the National Museum of Women in the Arts. It’s a black tie gala, tickets cost $100 and include an open bar. Oh, and right, there’s of course a charity aspect this: A portion of the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross.
  • Goethe-Institut: At the Washington Film Institutes Oscar Party, hosted at the Goethe-Institut, there will be red carpet for your walking pleasure, a wine and beer open bar, and two big screen teevees. Cost is $25.
  • Nellie’s Sports Bar Watching the Oscars with the Gays will no doubt be a fun and enlightening experience. There’s no cover and there will be drink specials all night long.
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