• May 27, 2012

Congressman To Retire For Alleged Sexytime Reasons

by Jim Newell  3:27 pm March 3, 2010

What I Learned In The NavyThe POLITICO better be right, and it almost always is: “Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) will not seek reelection — after only one term in office. According to several House aides on both sides of the aisle, the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that Massa, who is married with two children, sexually harassed a male staffer.” He was one of the most liberal Congressman, so it was already basically public record that he loved wieners and poop. He wants single-payer health care, for Christ’s sake! The one where they sell white children to gay people and fling fetuses at Jeebus pictures! [Politico]

{ 43 comments }

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Well, I suppose Massa-baiting is one way to win the afternoon.

Gorillionaire March 3, 2010 at 3:34 pm

If yelling “kiss my ass” or “suck it Gorillionare!” count as sexual harrassment then all of my supervisors are in big trouble.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Why yes, Massa. Anything you say, Massa!

The Huffington Pogue March 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm

I always assumed his downfall would be telling an African American staffer that, “Massa wants you to work all day.”

TGY March 3, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Still, a closet Republican, obvs.

Buzz Feedback March 3, 2010 at 3:37 pm

He’s going to elope with Patterson.

Minnie Mean March 3, 2010 at 3:38 pm

“sexually harrassed a male staffer” – must be a closet republican

Humpback March 3, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Quitting upon the first whisper of scandal? How honorable!

SayItWithWookies March 3, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Well — if Politico is using anonymous sources to smear a Democrat I’m sure they’re doing it responsibly. Like, that their sources (because you always want more than one, for confirmation) didn’t both get their information from the same person.

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 3:39 pm

That FOX News “Swimsuit Area Perv Poll” suddenly makes perfect sense.

ttommyunger March 3, 2010 at 3:39 pm

It’s about time a Dem gets in on the weiners and poop thing. Repugs have had a filibuster-proof majority on these offenses for way too long…He’s just a “massa, massa burnin’ love!”.

Egregious March 3, 2010 at 3:40 pm

A closeted DEM purportedly chasing after office boys? If I hear that a REP congressman is cheating on his wife with another woman then I’ll know the end is nigh.

Chain Tattoo March 3, 2010 at 3:47 pm

“wieners and poop” Is that today’s special at the House dining room?

Rush March 3, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Cost of lawyers to defend such false allegation – $500,000
Wieners, poop, selling white children and Jeebus – Priceless!

AbstinenceOnly Ed March 3, 2010 at 3:49 pm

Rupe’s Post Touts: “Massa kissed male staff!”

Come here a minute March 3, 2010 at 3:52 pm

The “Fightin’ Twenty-ninth” will miss him and his bizarre miniscandals.

lawrenceofthedesert March 3, 2010 at 3:53 pm

I dunno, “Eric’s in de cole, cole groun’” just doesn’t have the right ring to it.

V572625694 March 3, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Massa’s in the cold, cold ground.

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=523970]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: [re=523972]V572625694[/re]: Get a plot, you two!

lawrenceofthedesert March 3, 2010 at 3:58 pm

[re=523975]Extemporanus[/re]: If we do, will you thicken it for us?

thejesusandmarycheney March 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm

As opposed to the Republican health care plan, which involves selling gay children to Rush Limbaugh.

grevillea March 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Yes, but did he wiggle it?

magic titty March 3, 2010 at 4:02 pm

“I wanna wriggle around in your excrement” sounds so fucking hot. I can’t lie.

Rajul March 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Pelosi and her liberal agenda have screwed the country once again. If Dennis Hastert were still speaker, everyone would just let Massa go about his business trolling for little boys while Congress stayed busy protecting our freedoms.

Bearbloke March 3, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Does it matter that Massa has a Peculiar Institutional relationship with a Mr. Dick-hurt of Greenwich Village, NYC?

No? Right then, I’ll return to drinking my breakfast…

grevillea March 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm

“A 20-year Navy veteran…”
“Massa has played a gadflylike role in the House…”

Jeez, just turn up in assless chaps, why doncha, Mary?

[BTW, ur link is broken, returds.]

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 4:10 pm

[re=523976]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: With all the dirt I have, filling a plot hole or two will be mulch easier than you might expect.

Sparky McGruff March 3, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Perhaps Eric Massa’s staffer needed to pay off his minivan?

Harvey Birdman March 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm

I’d do him.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 3, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=523979]grevillea[/re]: Just a little bit.

grevillea March 3, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=523987]Bearbloke[/re]: So messy:

“Further, Eric Massa swore under oath that Sanford Dickert, “lured three college-age boys under the legal drinking age into (a campaign) apartment, and provided for their consumption more than a case of beer and a bottle of vodka.”

“After saying that Sanford Dickert had “lured” or “solicited” young males described as “boys” or “young high school boys,” Eric Massa wrote: “Dickert invited my then-16-year-old son to spend the night with him.”

http://www.lonsberry.com/writings.cfm?story=2022&go=4

Bearbloke March 3, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=523978]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: Are you referring to Rush Limbaugh’s Resort-Hotel “Orphanage” in the Dominican Rep., to which that Yank church group in Haiti was delivering children?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1247788/Haiti-earthquake-One-Haiti-orphans-kidnapped-American-church-group-parents.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/31/american-baptists-arrested-taking-children

Mr Blifil March 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Another succumbs to the lure of the ladyboy juice.

grevillea March 3, 2010 at 4:23 pm

[re=524000]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Hmmm, very murky vision on that. Was the camera smeared with excrement, do you suppose?

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm

[re=524007]grevillea[/re]: Hey, it was the early 90s. What wasn’t smeared with excrement back then?

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=524001]grevillea[/re]: Sounds like Massa finally found true Happiness.

grevillea March 3, 2010 at 4:39 pm

[re=524010]Extemporanus[/re]: Yeesh. Think I’ll just go roll around in some excrement to get clean after that.

Limeylizzie March 3, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=523988]grevillea[/re]: I giggled helplessly.

Extemporanus March 3, 2010 at 5:04 pm

[re=524029]grevillea[/re]: Do you want to poop back and forth, forever?

Radiotherapy March 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Pasty white guy, perv smile, ruffled Old Glory backdrop, likes young poop chutes, racist sounding name…..c’mon now, how can this guy not be a repubican?

zhubajie March 3, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Dems, Reps, aren’t they all the same?

rocktonsammy March 3, 2010 at 7:49 pm

nEW yORK IS BECOMING THE NEW Illinois.

Long Form Def Certificate March 4, 2010 at 11:21 am

[re=523983]magic titty[/re]: David Vitter, even though he realizes this resignation could be a pick-up for the GOP, is a little upset about it. Not too many coprophiliacs in Congress, as is; losing this one, with his antebellum-friendly name, is a major blow.

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