PHEW! We were worried that Harold Ford’s decision not to run for the Senate meant that he might start shutting the fuck up at some point. But apparently he understands that that would be too dignity-saving for America, and he must FIGHT to produce blogger comedy in this the terrible recession. And that’s why he now wants Obama to take an oath to Charles Lindbergh and the Nazis.
Ben Smith gives the background in this McCain campaign anecdote, a rare one where the major players appeared to have some idea of what the hell they were doing:
Before John McCain went with the slogan “Country First,” there was, I was told at the time, some internal discussion of the phrase “America First.”
It was quickly vetoed when campaign staff recalled that it was the name of the isolationist, at times pro-Nazi, group championed by Charles Lindbergh in the 1930s
Yeah, as far as organized political movements go, Lindbergh kind of ruined the title “America First.” Not that the creativity in that moniker was ever much to write home about. IT’S JUST THE COUNTRY AND A POPULAR NUMBER.
Cue Harold Ford:
The President should meet with his deficit reduction panel twice a month, and be prepared to offer recommendations on reducing the fastest rising expenditures at the federal level – mandatory entitlement spending.
I will volunteer, as I think many in my generation would, the government holding my social security check payments until I’m 70 – if the good Lord allows me to see that age. All Americans under 45, should be asked to sign a national pledge forfeiting their social security payments until age 70. The President should ask those of us, who are the most blessed generation of Americans, to serve our country that way – he would be pleasantly surprised at how many of us would say yes I believe.
He could call the pledge “America First,” and allow a breaking of the pledge only for those who face severe economic hardship at age 66.
Further, this President should raise the taxable income limit, currently set at $106,800, to $300,000, for the FICA tax, which is roughly 6.2%. The extra tax revenue could only be used for two purposes – entitlement spending and deficit reduction. We would hold Democrats and Republicans accountable to only use our tax dollars for those purposes. In light of current economic conditions, the President should hold off making this tax permanent until the end of 2011.
And, I want to be the first to sign, “America First.”
See, he’s a Nazi.
(Why even get into his actual argument? Fuck you for everything, Harold Ford. Some people work shitty back-breaking jobs for 40 years and pay their social security taxes and then get their earned cushion for a few good years before dying of The Black Lung. If you want to pass your Nazi petition around the Merrill Lynch office, please, go ahead, and leave everyone else alone.)
Ford: America First?! [Ben Smith]
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Oh no! Now he’s running for the Senate as a republican!
Come on, Harold: we get it already. You don’t need to keep proving to us that you’re unelectable in New York.
Nazis don’t even faze me anymore. Ah, Nazi, schmazi.
It puts a tear in my eye, how the rich are committed to not accepting Social Security. Not a tear as in a lachrymose fluid, but a rip, as though a blood vessel bursting in the back of my head tore part of the membrane of my eye. Oh, shit — now I need healthcare.
I await Mr. Ford’s Final Solution.
“IT’S JUST THE COUNTRY AND A POPULAR NUMBER.”
Well, I’m guessing it’s the most popular number. Clearly Ford has his finger on the pulse… of a dead corpse.
First they came for the congressional legacies … then they came for the investment bankers … oh shit.
Yes, asking all Americans to sign a pledge; that’s a real good idea, something without ugly overtones that no one would complain about.
Eliminating the FICA cap is probably a good idea, but everything else? Fuck that.
In addition to our traditional xenophobia, Harold has extended the concept so that it covers Americans’ newer fear that their Social Security checks will be absconded with by Nigerians or, even worse, Canadians. They’re out there, just waiting…
Shorter Harold Ford: I OFTEN FORGET THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE POORER THAN ME FOR WHOM SOCIAL SECURITY IS A [B]BIG DEAL[/B]. ALSO, I’M A NAZI.
With the lack of health care I’m experiencing now, I won’t live to see 70 so, Jim, I join you in saying, “Harold, fuck you and the carpet you bagged in on.”
(BTW, this is a stunt Santorum tried when he was still a senator — minus Ford’s sign-the-petition part, ’cause Little Ricky’s not that creative. You can imagine how big it went over in Pennsylvania, home of more seniors per capita than just about anywhere. I’ve always maintained that’s what really lost him his seat. People were used to his general holy-rolling douchebaggery, but don’t fuck with their retirement dreams.)
As Carlos Santana once wrote in his classic Apology for My Wardrobe, “Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are likely to come across as dumb douchebags.”
My favorite number is γ, so I am starting a committee “America γth”.
Also, the whole “Country/America First” thing would only be a politically poisonous moniker if anyone in this country knew anything about history.
“I will volunteer, as I think many in my generation would, the government holding my social security check payments…”
Parallel structure problems much, Harry?
[re=523871]Sharkey[/re]: Most popular? I understand that it actually is the loneliest number.
Suck My Dick First?
Let me be the first to volunteer to sign an organ donor card that allows our Captains of Industry to harvest my innards while I am still living, as they deem necessary. USA! USA!
Oh, and fuck you. Also.
Hey Harold, idiot, they don’t take Social Security out of unemployment insurance, and we’ll be on that until we retire.
Make the elementary school kids sign the pledge while they pledge allegiance to the country that is gonna fuck ‘em over. That way you get symmetry.
Screw the Social Security restriction. They should just pledge to commit suicide at age 65. More resources for everybody! (At least everybody still around.)
Harold Ford has also heroically promised to stop farting money (not to be confused with his actual Merrill Lynch job, though the error is understandable). Coincidentally, one day’s worth of his monetized farts is roughly equal to a year’s worth of Social Security income.
[re=523862]Larry McAwful[/re]: At least it’s an ethos.
[re=523905]Humpback[/re]: Today. We are all Logan’s Run.
[re=523879]SmutBoffin[/re]: America πth
You youngsters here probably don’t realize it because us boomers are going to burn through all the money before you get there, but you get a much bigger benefit if you wait until 70 to take it–like 50 percent more. So Harold’s generosity is something less than it seems.
“I will volunteer, as I think many in my generation would, the government holding my social security check payments until I’m 70 – if the good Lord allows me to see that age.”
If I had my way, those in Mr. Ford Junior’s earning quintile would never see a Social Security check.
Couldn’t Ford just ask Ben Bernanke to pledge to print more $$$ whenever we run out of it? Oh, wait we’re doing that already…
I would also advise against allowing Harold Ford to kiss or handle babies, given who he obviously regards as his historical heroes.
I will volunteer, as I think many in my generation would, the government holding my social security check payments until I’m 70 – if the good Lord allows me to see that age.
Screw you, Harold. You’re going to Carousel.
[re=523910]freakishlystrong[/re]: Dammit. Great minds.
Um Harold I think its ok if you want to wait until you’re 70 to get SS, but, you probably don’t know this but, for some people, say 62 year old unemployed iron workers with arthritis in their hands and knees, who really don’t want to work at McDonalds until they’re 70. Could you give them a bank job instead please?
[re=523912]Come here a minute[/re]: That movie was hilarious!
DONT’ DO IT RICH PEOPLES!! SNEAKY COLORED FELLA’S TRYIN’ TO TRICK YOU SOMEHOW!!!!9!11!!!
Harold, Call ME!!!
I’ll sign your pledge. As long as you sign a pre-nup baby.
Yes, let all the poors and ignorants sign this pledge, then count on one hand how many in the back-stabbing rich weasel class sign it.
he does say VOLUNTEER. I mean, he’s a laughably, blindingly transparent scum-sucking opportunistic piece of shit idiot, but he didn’t say anything about MAKING people (rich or not rich) forego their SS at first eligibility.
“All Americans under 45, should be asked to sign a national pledge…” If it’s a voluntary thing, why does it matter what age they are? If it isn’t voluntary, I say please wait just one more year.
Also, does Harold Ford understand anything at all about the lives of people?
Hey Harold, here’s a better idea – no cap at all on the taxable income limit for Social Security contributions! Enjoy that 6.2% tax on another $700,000 of the income you “earn” as Merrill Lynch’s Vice Chairman in charge of doing his own thing for publicity!
Sure, right, Harold. I’m sure lots of people in your generation would sign that pledge. Call me when you’ve got 3 others.
soooooo…. now the rest of the country gets why tennessee is so f-ing backwards. am i right?
Little-know true fact: the Lindy Hop, a popular dance of the 1920s and ’30s named in honor of Lindbergh’s history-making solo trans-Atlantic flight, was actually a stylized version of the Nazi goose-step march. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!
If I may speak for all the people who watched their 401K funds go down the proverbial toilet in death throes of the Bushyt Misadministration, allow me to say, Harold, fuck you.
Thank you.
[re=523910]freakishlystrong[/re]: Carousel!
[re=523882]magic titty[/re]:
I always think that when I see pictures of him too.
I don’t think this insufferable buffoon realizes not we are not al millionaires whoring our souls to Wall Street.
Or maybe he does.
[re=523879]SmutBoffin[/re]: NOTE HOWEVER: John McCain went with “Country First”, which is totally different form “America First”, and therefore was a slogan that had zero ugly connotations to it, because who even knows what country McCain was running for president for, anyway?
Isn’t Country First the name of an internet refinance company specializing in no-down, exploding ARM mortgages?
[re=524200]Beanball[/re]: Also known as the people responsible for a shitload of the home foreclosures in Phoenix, so McLame damn well better know who they are.
[re=523867]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I love you, man.
The first thing to get dropped from DJ YELLA’s proposal would be the raising of the cap on taxable earnings. Because you cannot get everything for which you ask, when you negotiate. At least, not when you do so in good faith.
(Of course, there is neither anything good nor faithful about HFJ.)
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