MUST CREDIT WONKETTE  3:10 pm March 2, 2010

EXCLUSIVE: Wonkette Interviews Guy Who Made That Funny Politico Video Cartoon

by Ken Layne

Actual spy photo of Mike Allen in his Under-roos.The greatest political satire of the decade — this funny animated movie about the Politico — appeared yesterday on some Web 2.6 internet website we’d never heard of before. So, being Washington journalists who WIN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING, we tracked down the writer and director, a “Peter Smith,” if that is his real name. And then we met in a wooded park in Vienna and exchanged Gmail chats through a “dead drop.”

PETER SMITH: Hey there — let me know when you’d like to talk. I’ll be around until about 7.

KEN LAYNE: Hello! I have refilled my coffee and have a few minutes now, if that’s ok w/ you.

PS: Sure.

KL: We never even click on the “political satire” tips because they’re always so awful, but this insane thing you’ve made is obviously an exception. The sort of universal response from the editors and commenters at Wonkette is, “Oh I’m so ashamed to get all these references.” So we have to ask, why do you know so much about the Evil Politico and its bat cave?

PS: Haha. Well, first I should say that none of the jokes are based on any “inside knowledge” of Politico‘s operations. Merely observations from someone who has unfortunately read way too much of that particular news outlet.

KL: BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW BEN SMITH’S STATION WAGON HAS A TRUNK?! (Yeah, the Politico is pretty transparent.)

PS: Haha, well if Smith does in fact have a station wagon with a trunk, then I’ve picked up far too much subconsciously from reading his blog. That was just a bit of creative license.

KL: The synthesized/OK Computer voices work so well with that script, because the Politico editors really do seem to be clumsily trying to imitate humans … you get the feeling Mike Allen truly believes some cardboard sleaze like Mitt Romney is “traditional and dignified.”

PS: Yeah, you know with a lot of that it was just coincidence — I had to work with the format, characters, and scenes that this software makes available, and it ended up working out okay.

KL: I screwed around with that movie maker site last night and it is not easy to get comedy from it.

PS: It can be frustrating — the characters speak pretty slowly so it’s hard to have people cut each other off. This is actually the first time I used it …. I was inspired by a video fishbowl posted yesterday about publicists spamming you about embargoes.

KL: For one reason or another, you’ve read way too much of that website/newspaper. And it’s got a pretty small readership, because who really fucking cares beyond other reporters who have to know what idiot thing is “winning the morning.” Do you think there’s ANYBODY who reads it seriously?

PS: As a matter of fact, I think there are people who take it seriously, and that’s what really bothers me and was the inspiration for this. I see people discussing their “scoops” as though they are based in reality. Granted, sometimes they will be the first outlet to report a specific comment from a news conference, and sure that counts as a real event. But all their analytic-y stuff is merely intellectual inside-the-beltway masturbation

KL: If you have a charitable definition of “intellectual” …

PS: Right right, good point, I should clarify that.

KL: Hahahah.

PS: Intellectual was not meant to be a qualitative term there. I mean, Politico is just so rife for commentary that this parody just came flowing out. They wrote an article a few weeks back criticizing “the mainstream media” for paying too close attention to Sarah Palin’s every move. For christ’s sake, they essentially have a beat writer who EXCLUSIVELY covers Sarah Palin.

KL: It just seems so Conventional Wisdom that it has no actual audience. The Palin fan-slobs sure don’t have any respect for the Politico, the Teabaggers dismiss it the same way they dismiss John McCain …. I assume liberals just laugh at it, if they remember how to laugh, and everybody in DC media just seems to think it’s this awful joke that won’t go away.

PS: You know, I wish I agreed with you about that. But their sheer amount of traffic gives them a certain influence; they have reporters on TV all day; and I worry that their financial success is going to force other outlets to copy them.

KL: It’s hard to imagine anything that could make Wolf Blitzer, say, any dumber than he was *before* the Politico. Anyway, you should save that thing to YouTube before this xtranormal goes bust next month, like all web businesses.

PS: Just did that actually, hang on, I will grab you the link.

KL: History must remember the Politico only with this weird video.

Yeah I had never heard of xtranormal before yesterday, and thus far my experience has not been great, as far as reliability goes.

KL: All right I will post some transcript as an excuse to post the YouTube video, for posterity [REDACTED] and i can have jim newell leave you the [REDACTED] in a paper bag in the Watergate parking garage or something.

PS: Haha no worries. I don’t make my [REDACTED] is more than enough. Thanks for posting it in the first place. BTW [REDACTED] although no final decisions on that.

KL: Oh good, let us know. Okay I will not pry at your SECRET IDENTITY, but do you work in actual politics or media? (We know you are really Robert Gibbs, I mean.)

PS: I do work in DC media/politics, which is why I’m unfortunately forced to absorb Politico‘s toxins regularly.

KL: We will soon invent a mental cocktail to cleanse the brain after reading any Politico feature.

PS: Wait one sec — if you do [REDACTED] because then they’ll send their henchmen out to interrogate every [REDACTED].

KL: Hahahahah jesus they are worse than the Stasi. Ok, will do. Thanks man!

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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SayItWithWookies March 2, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Actually finding a person and talking (well, exchanging words) to him — is that allowed in the New Media? If this sort of nonsense keeps up, reporters might start checking facts again. It’s a slippery slope.

Landstander March 2, 2010 at 3:23 pm


bitchincamaro March 2, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Hilarity begins at 0:13 with the out-of-sync gesture describing the “Politicade”. So funny. And the jet con-trail over the blue man’s shoulders makes it all seem so real.

Is it?

RichardA March 2, 2010 at 3:27 pm

This is probably the greatest article ever written of all time. The end.

Botswana Meat Commission FC March 2, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Reading Politico makes me want to punch myself in the [redacted] and then burn a car full of [redacted] with a [redacted].

JMP March 2, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Good try, “Peter” Smith, but it’s obvious that’s a transcript from a real Politico meeting. And since you’ve got inside information and are already using the last name of the one decent writer they have…

ohiolobbyist March 2, 2010 at 3:32 pm

This is the greatest Wonkette interview since the Washingtonienne. Actually, have there been any Wonkette exclusive interviews since then? Has anyone else been around that long?

Cicada March 2, 2010 at 3:33 pm

[re=523020]Landstander[/re]: What?!? I didn’t know [REDACTED] [REDACTED] four monkeys [REDACTED] Ben Smith [REDACTED] blow [REDACTED] pan flute. That is insane!

madtowngooner March 2, 2010 at 3:33 pm

[re=523025]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: small intestine…baby nuns…bowl full of napalm jello?

Smoke Filled Roommate March 2, 2010 at 3:35 pm

[re=523021]bitchincamaro[/re]: You mean the ‘Politicave’?

sati demise March 2, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Cilantro. that will clean your body of toxins and heavy metals.
fresh cilantro. buy a bunch and eat it raw.

Mr Blifil March 2, 2010 at 3:39 pm

This interview WINS 3:39 IN THE AFTERNOON EST.

bitchincamaro March 2, 2010 at 3:42 pm

@SFR: Right you are, Roomie, though it could be an arcade, architecturally speaking.

Sharkey March 2, 2010 at 3:43 pm

I want to write a comment, but I need to honor the fucking embargo.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 2, 2010 at 3:47 pm

“Peter Smith.” Riiiiiiiiiiiiight, “Meghan Stapleton.”

Smoke Filled Roommate March 2, 2010 at 3:47 pm

[re=523044]bitchincamaro[/re]: True dat.

Joshua Norton March 2, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I’ve never read a letter with so many PS’s in it. Could you have George Washington translate it for me?

Monsieur Grumpe March 2, 2010 at 3:56 pm

You should hire this guy. Will he work for ads or maybe some one on one with the intern?

Josh Fruhlinger March 2, 2010 at 3:58 pm

[re=523029]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Don’t forget the time that Princess Sparkle Pony interviewed the dude that had gross, shameful sex with Larry Craig!

Carrie_Okie March 2, 2010 at 4:04 pm


Fox News Light March 2, 2010 at 4:12 pm


hoosiermama March 2, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Too slow, Peter Smith! Librarians have been making parodies of stupid reference questions using xtranormal for at least two, maybe three generations.

hoosiermama March 2, 2010 at 5:06 pm

and remember, potential reference patrons — there are no stupid reference questions. Redacted, also.

Extemporanus March 2, 2010 at 5:09 pm

“We now return you to ‘THE LATE LATE LAYNE SHOW’, where your host Ken Layne and his special guest Jim Newell discuss how personal essays have ruined America!”

Radiotherapy March 2, 2010 at 6:00 pm

[re=523141]Extemporanus[/re]: I laughed. I cried.
Mix equal parts Leone, Tarantino, OK Computer, and Roger Corman. Microwave for two hours. Ice with 10 cc of Arby’s Horsey Sauce.
I fully expect nothing less than the Palme D’Or next year at Cannes.

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2010 at 6:24 pm

A Star Is Born. Give this guy a regular gig, along with Cartoon Guy and Bad Blago Painting Giri.

Chet Kincaid March 2, 2010 at 6:25 pm

[re=523220]Chet Kincaid[/re]: That would be “Bad Blago Painting Girl.”

Extemporanus March 2, 2010 at 9:47 pm

[re=523202]Radiotherapy[/re]: Your wonderfully wry review would do Robo-Voice Ebert proud, and is much appreciated

And though a Palme D’Or probably isn’t in the cards, a Palme De Rose is a distinct possibility.

betterDeadThanRed March 2, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Riley is Peter Smith? You should stop forcing him to read Politico all the time.

EggplantParm March 2, 2010 at 11:22 pm

[re=523025]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: vas deferens… lady boys… cigarette yoinked from Obama’s purty lips

SgtPendleton March 3, 2010 at 12:48 am

This has inspired me to make a re-enactment

Smoke Filled Roommate March 3, 2010 at 2:50 am

[re=523220]Chet Kincaid[/re]: I agree. Or else this is just a ‘Bestest BFF Interview Ever’.. Hate to snark, but yeah–give the guy something at least. You betta recognize, Layne.

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