wolverines!

World Net Daily Folks Release Crappy White People Rap Thing

What to listen to during this week’s drive to church? How about WOLVERINES!: “WND-TV stars Molotov Mitchell of ‘For the Record’ fame and D.J. Dolce of ‘News! News!’ notoriety have teamed in a momentous new rap video called ‘OTP (One Term President)’ debuting on YouTube today.” It’s awful! Too bad that Molotov Mitchell lost his job making delicious pies at the bakery, though. [WND]

Related

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

120 comments

  1. Humpback

    Establishing the record so far… I got to the line “public education made me dumb, man,” and hit stop. After that admission, what’s the point in listening further?

  2. southern mark smith

    [re=522792]Humpback[/re]: That must have been after the 0:22 mark — “something something autotune teleprompters autotune something”.

  3. yargisbargis

    Yeah, handled about 7 seconds of that one. Getting Betty White net time might appeal to a younger demographic tho.

  4. BadKitty

    I couldn’t last longer than 1:36. Pies? What the fuck is he talking about pies? No wonder the GOP has lost young voters.

  5. Tommmcatt

    Speaking as a marketing professional, if you are trying to co-opt youth culture, it helps to actually find some youths to help you out with it. The average age of these people is what, 35?

  6. SmutBoffin

    [re=522792]Humpback[/re]: I only made it as far as “teleprompters”. YOU HAVE A WILL OF IRON.

  7. FrancesScottKeyes

    This video has it all. Autotune, a big hipped girl with crooked bangs, and an epileptic seizure warning.

  8. freakishlystrong

    Nothing screams Urban like a bunch of white jackholes in tricorns, so hip! Wingnuts. Tango Foxnews??

  9. grendel

    It’s amazing how one sided the breakdown of creative people is… Even artists who WERE good at one point only become Republicans after they’ve lost any talent they had.

  10. grendel

    I watched the whole thing. If you skip out early you miss the best part… the pasty white guy in the sleeveless ripped up dress shirt rapping about how Barry isn’t even the President because we haven’t seen the BC (Birf Certifcut)

  11. Prommie

    I forget who said it, back in the mists of time, when there were giants of wit in the Wonkette commentariat, but someone here once said, many years ago, “the stupid was so thick you could saw it into blocks and pick them up with tongs.” This is a perfect metaphor, the most perfect ever, and cannot be improved.

    Notice the little details, like that you could “saw” the stupid. You can slice gelatinous, soft things, you can slice jello, marshmallows, bologna, but a substance must have density, hardness, real resistance, to allow you to saw it. This is exactly how thick this stupid is, dense, hard, substantial.

  12. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Yea, y’all are HARD CORE. The way Skoalrebel, Joe tha Plumber, and Lindsey Graham are HARD CORE.

  13. RoscoePColtraine

    Shame on me
    Shame on WE!!

    Is that ‘keepin’ it real, yo’?

    Who’s that last white boi, da one with the red glasses and the blue short sleeve shirt with white crew neck t-shirt underneath? Is THIS what Ole Miss fans are up to after football season’s over?

  14. SayItWithWookies

    Gratuitous autotune – $150.00
    18th century costume rental – $200.00
    Crowd, stage, lighting and catering – $3,000.00
    Spelling “rap” with a capital C – priceless.

  15. Ducksworthy

    Got to hand it to them, I’ve never before realized that Filet Mignon rhymes with Ramadan although what they might have in common is still unclear. And where’s Michael Steele?

  16. SmutBoffin

    [re=522811]grendel[/re]: Supporting evidence:

    Alice Cooper (once good, now a lame-o Repub.)

    Ted Nugent (always a Repub., but was never good)

  17. grendel

    Yeah, that’s the story of Obama’s America… pie maker who loses job and buys a Mac-10 to become a gangster.

    Somehow I don’t think that guy was really a baker… and I don’t think Barbi was really in the military either.

  18. Alex_P

    Isn’t “OTP” the fanfiction term for “I hope these two characters have buttsex”?

  19. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=522818]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Now Roscoe, you dare impugn The University of Mississippi? It should be obvious, given the full-on stupid in this clip, that none of these morans made it out of community college.

  20. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=522800]BadKitty[/re]: Pies, yes well…baked goods…weed laced baked goods…cool…hey! the fuck you gave me to work with here.

  21. Larry McAwful

    You know the Republicans are in financial trouble because they could only hire one black guy to appear in this video, and he wasn’t even one of the musicians.

    But they did touch on the fact that so many, so many pie makers are now violent drug criminals. It is the sad story of America’s past fourteen months.

  22. grendel

    [re=522832]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I dunno, this smacks of Yale Young Republicans to me… The sense of entitlement… the “trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy” probably expensive (for no particular reason) clothes and sunglasses…

  23. engulfedinflames

    [re=522792]Humpback[/re]: We hit stop at the same time. Why on earth would they use the “fool me once” line? It brought back fond memories and raised the question, what’s your alternative?

  24. Yes You Can Own A Piece of History

    [re=522809]FrancesScottKeyes[/re]: Don’t forget the pie recipe!

  25. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=522800]BadKitty[/re]: [re=522837]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
    So I think I understand where they’re going with this whole ‘pie’ angle. It’s all about who they’re targeting with this video – and what college republican doesn’t enjoy a slice or three of pie with his or her meal? Think about it.

  26. Ducksworthy

    [re=522844]engulfedinflames[/re]: Fond memories indeed. Also, you can fool some of the people all of the time would apply here.

  27. Capitalist War Machine

    The rapper Mac-10′s assistant called. He heard that four lilly-white people were utilizing his namesake in reference to pie makers and his head exploded.

  28. Extemporanus

    [re=522812]grendel[/re]: As did I, comrade. As did I…

    Our weaker (wiser?) Wonkettards also missed:

    - A Furry Eagle doing the “Running Man” (“Funky Chicken”?)
    - Malcolm X’s “Chickens” speech spoken by Mantan impersonator
    - Comic book quote bubbles
    - Purple-shirted, ski mask-wearing SEIU thugs
    - The repeated use of the word “boy” when referring to Obama
    - Two black people (aka “boys”)
    - Un-ironically rhyming “Camry” (pro: rapper) with “pansy” (con: Obama)
    - The George Washington impersonator-impersonator fucking an applie pie
    - A stray dog eating vomit (semen pie?) off the floor of the studio
    - My cats eating their own ears off

  29. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=522832]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Hey Elvis, I was just struck by the glaringly incoherent idea of placing a young pasty white boy wearing a short sleeved polo shirt with white crew neck t-shirt worn underneath, in a rap video. It’s so horrifically bad that it HAD to be intentional, right?

    And, for some reason I associate that fashion style with the undergrad fellows at Ole Miss. Don’t ask me why cuz I don’t know.

  30. SmutBoffin

    [re=522837]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=522841]Larry McAwful[/re]: [re=522825]grendel[/re]: No one in America eats pies anymore becuz the librul DEMONCRAPS said everyone in the country was too fat and they won’t cut taxes on pie -makers FOR REAGAN.

  31. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=522855]Extemporanus[/re]: I was coming to the furry. There’s only so fast my fingers can type dude.

  32. Extemporanus

    [re=522800]BadKitty[/re]: [re=522848]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Peep this, yo:

    Make the Pie Higher
    by George W. Bush

    I think we all agree, the past is over.
    This is still a dangerous world.
    It’s a world of madmen
    And uncertainty
    And potential mental losses.

    Rarely is the question asked
    Is our children learning?
    Will the highways of the internet
    Become more few?
    How many hands have I shaked?

    They misunderestimate me.
    I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
    I know that the human being and the fish
    Can coexist.

    Families is where our nation finds hope
    Where our wings take dream.
    Put food on your family!
    Knock down the tollbooth!
    Vulcanize society!
    Make the pie higher!
    Make the pie higher!

  33. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=522868]grendel[/re]: I think I’ve got porn (VHS) starring that guy. He was a bottom notorious for taking three cocks at once. Triple dickin.

  34. The Cold Sea

    If the Rethuglicans want to caputure the utes, try Mark Foley. He knows how to talk to the utes.

  35. Extemporanus

    [re=522863]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: “I was coming to the Furry.”

    TMI, you disgusting little furvert!

    [re=522868]grendel[/re]: [re=522880]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yep.

    Emilio made that video between the filming of Stakeout and Ménage à Troy.

  36. Sleeves

    Vocord once, shame on you…

    [re=522855]Extemporanus[/re]: Wiser. Since it’s after lunch, I get worried that one of you goirls will make an approach from out of the blacklight and pop CONSTITUTION KATE right in the lenses, somewhere between “pay the piper” and “CHICKEN!”

  37. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=522857]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Understandable. Only Ole Miss U of Mississippi (politically correct and NO MORE COLONEL REB, yo), while certainly douchey enough, wouldn’t dare try the whole rap thing for fear of pissing off Memphis rappers. After all, Oxford is only an hour or so away… close enough for a drive-by!

  38. Katydid

    [re=522855]Extemporanus[/re]: Don’t forget “Why you still up in Iraq man?” Is 7 years now considered ancient history, and therefore not relevant to current events?

    I also think the violence lends a certain je ne sais quoi. And neither do they, apparently.

  39. Franklin Pierce & Pierce

    Untalented artists/comedians/rappers/writers of the world, take note: Skew your material towards a “conservative audeince”, and you will be guaranteed space on WND and the Cato Institute will buy 100,000,000 copies of your book/Cd/audiobook CD.

  40. Katydid

    [re=522868]grendel[/re]: “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.”
    –Bertrand Russell

    Bertrand Russell wrote passionately about the horrors of war. Think of what he would have produced had he been exposed to white rappers.

  41. Luke E Pierre

    White people rapping their contempt of a black guy… the mind boggles.

    Say what you will about the KKK. At least, THEY had the common sense not to lynch whilst in blackface.

  42. Pandy

    Dude, those white guys just dissed the president in his own people’s music. Well that’s that. I’m voting Republican now because they rhymed it.

  43. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Ice Cube could get some scary street cred by blastin these fools with his AK.

  44. nappyduggs

    [re=522924]Luke E Pierre[/re]:

    Erm, love that, love you for that.

    I had no idea there were this many levels of embarrassment.

    I truly have a sad.

  45. eclecticbrotha

    An unemployed pie maker who’s the spitting image of K-Fed using a nickname named after a Russian inspired IED? Only in America, bitches.

  46. TheCoolestGuyInTown

    Their token black guy was just there to work for them and wasn’t able to speak.

    Also troubling to me the line “you dropped charges for terrorists”… When did that happen?

  47. Mr Blifil

    Why do girls have to go through Cleopatra bangs phases? I’m imagining her as a cover model for the DVD series MY DAUGHTER’S F***ING A WIGGER! And I could not get past the early teleprompter reference. Whoever can should be given a iPad.

  48. GenghisKern

    Every time I’m feeling open-minded about the right wing, they give me a rock of mortification to freebase…

  49. disgustedcitizen

    I don’t much care for rap! But I REALLLLLLY hate white rap. Or whatever the fuck that was called.

  50. freakishlystrong

    Ok, I couldn’t watch that at work. Now I’m home, and I’m sorry I watched it. I gathered from Constitution Kate that Barry started the Iraq war. Good to know. I guess all history of the U.S of A. started either with “the founders” or on January 20, 2009 and the wingnuts have absoulutely no intention of taking any responsibilty for anything they’ve ever done, or will do.

    Can’t have it both ways, wackjobs. NEVAR FORGET!!11 We won’t.

  51. mercure

    Ow, my brain!

    I was initially not going to watch this, then I read all the way through the comments. At that point, a certain part of my psyche kicked in, the part that naively believes that all humans have a certain inherent dignity and self-awareness that limits their ultimate capacity to humiliate themselves – the video could thus not be nearly as bad as I imagined it.

    It took 18 seconds for me to realize, again, not to trust my instincts when it comes to essential human nature.

  52. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=522831]Alex_P[/re]: Tell me about it. I was disappointed as hell when I realized that this wasn’t a video about the Teabagger’s One True Pairing (George Washington and “Billy,” the slave who did his hair.)

  53. Cicada

    Wait, WND people complaining about the Iraq war not being over? That is some RICH bullshit.

  54. Badtux

    I like pie.

    Uhm, that’s all. I didn’t watch the video, because from reading the prior comments, it’s clear my IQ would drop by at least 40 points doing so, and maybe my monitor burst into flames from so much concentrated stupid passing through it. But I do like pie.

  55. natoslug

    [re=522858]grendel[/re]: Don’t forget the giant black cock splashed onto the screen at 0:15 while bangs chick blows a kiss. I’m getting a mixed message here — blacks are bad, but black cock is awesome?

  56. Joey Ratz

    [re=523035]disgustedcitizen[/re]: Still, as bad as it was, it’s still better than Stryper.

  57. Radiotherapy

    [re=522867]Extemporanus[/re]: You know who else was a one-term presidente? Jeesz, they have a selective memory, don’t they?
    [re=523035]disgustedcitizen[/re]: Wingtard Wiggers?!!

  58. joeschmofromidaho

    Very nice lyrics from the dude with his sleeves cut off:

    One term president? Nein!
    I ain’t feelin’ that.
    Hardcore birther here
    Let me make it clear for ya
    B. Hussein. He isn’t even president
    We ain’t seen the BC
    He still [unintel] the evidence.

    In an outtake he yells “Hulk smash!” and runs around the office breaking things.

  59. FlipOffResearch

    At 2:20 it sounds like Constitution Cate is talking about assassinating Obama.

  60. saggyboobedhag

    I just saw a world net daily bumper sticker on the fender of a prius in the staff parking lot of the local library.

  61. attorneyatlol

    “OTP on my camry” ?!

    the fuck?!&@#!

    I went the distance. all the way to 4:20. Bong Rips 4 King Jesus

    how do you make fun of people for whom no degradation is too awful

    what would happen if they found out the left was anti-shit-eating. i say we find out.

  62. Weazie!

    “I’m sick of smellin’ like a mosque after Ramadan”

    YEAH, OBAMA: WHY’D YOU START THE IRAQ WAR ANYWAY?

  63. daryljfontaine

    [re=523035]disgustedcitizen[/re]: Caucasian rap. Or, as it was put early in the thread, “rap with a capital C.”

    D

  64. Allyson

    OK, I forced myself to watch the whole thing, and it just gets better and better: right around 1:50 some idiot starts to go off about how Obama has done nothing about getting us out of Iraq? Do these people *really* not know that his opponent was prepared to spend 100 years there?!? Then there was that bit about dropping charges against terrorists and the birth certificate…
    If this is the best the opposition can do, then 2012 is starting to look good after all.

  65. President Beeblebrox

    I couldn’t take more than 6 seconds before I went back to reading the dox on the SEC/Tranny Porn Investigation.

  66. tbogg

    We start with fat girl with bangs and later pie man points out that fat girls like his dutch apple pie. That is so pie-whack.

  67. An Outhouse

    Uh – America voted for G.W. twice. They’re going to Barack ‘n’ Roll until they’re voting finger falls off.

  68. FunkyPalmettoBug

    I’m off to kill myself…I can’t have any further discourse with western civilization after seeing that.

  69. Sleeves

    [re=522873]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: [re=523204]el_chupacabra[/re]: [re=523012]american mutt[/re]: [re=522868]grendel[/re]: [re=522996]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: Thank you for these.

  70. Pandy

    The Red Head sings:

    Whatever happened to the “HOPE” boy?
    Teleprompt this: “You can’t stop this, OTP.”
    You’re gonna feel it when I vote, boy
    Cuz you gotta go, ya gotta go, yeah!

    I’m so glad this has nothing in it that can be misinterpreted as racism.

  71. ArugulaTeleprompterz

    I just visited World Net Daily for the first time in my life. It’s a scary place. I do not recommend it.

  72. Captain McAwesome

    I realize this is not interesting/funny/insightful, but this is fucking retarded.

    also, dear white bitch, you weren’t in iraq, shut your dumb ass up.

    i’m so angry right now.

  73. Lake Affected

    I also see no evidence of these alleged “freedom-fighting hotties” mentioned in Verse 3.

  74. stompandshout

    It’s so unproductive and really counter to their own purposes to express your concerns (and obviously take a fair amount of time doing it) in a snarky thing that will only produce snarky comments from the opposition. It doesn’t MEAN anything and only further polarizes the country and makes shit even more difficult to get done. If they had written an articulate thing that said “Here are my concerns,” I probably would have found some of them to be discussion-worthy, but as it is, I feel pushed to the other end of the spectrum, automatically taking the opposing sides to ALL the issues they brought up and defending Bamz where he probably could use some constructive criticism. Jefferson urged us all to remember that differences in opinion don’t equal differences in principle, and condescending videos like this make me again realize what he meant.

    It really makes me mourn the time and money they lost putting this together that could have been used to actually make strides towards the resolution of issues they clearly care about.

Comments are closed.