Remember this guy? Probably not, right? Well he was governor of California in the 1970s, when he was also banging the hell out of Linda Ronstadt, in a trashy apartment across the street from the governor’s mansion in Sacramento. What happened to Jerry? He lost all that hair, for one thing, and he also lost the Democratic nomination to Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton — but he really dragged it out in ’92, winning 596 delegates at the DNC that year and using his prime-time convention speech to call Clinton a piece of trash.
Brown went on to serve as mayor of Oakland and is now the attorney general in California, where he routinely launches these huge prosecutions against scumbag politicians on the take, especially the county supervisors who are basically the mafia out here. And now, maybe right now on his website, Jerry Brown is announcing his campaign for governor, again.
Besides keeping the bankrupt state free of Demon Sheep, Brown says he’ll save California from shame and bankruptcy, etc. MORE LIES? Who knows, but in the 1970s he balanced the budget while expanding all kinds of social programs and the parks and education — California was a financial disaster when he took over, because fucking Ronald Reagan had just spent eight years trying to dismantle the nation’s richest, smartest state.
And because Politics is just a generational grudge match for the Elite, it was Reagan who defeated Jerry’s father, Governor Pat Brown, for the governor’s seat eight years before Jerry won it back.
Also, Jerry Brown is now an Old, instead of being a young dude screwing rock stars, back when we had rock stars. He would be the oldest governor in America, should he win. WORSE YET, he would be even older than the oldest example of wretched old insane people who should be euthanized, John McCain.
Experts note, however, that Jerry Brown is a fit and healthy Jesuit Zen Buddhist Monk or something, and he still has a functional brain and is therefore unlikely to get lost in the halls of the Capitol, wet himself or yell at a cloud. [SF Gate]
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Only Shorts can properly comment on this.
california uber alles!
Shitty CEO or Governor Moonbeam?
Zen warrior-monk with the K.o.
“the nation’s richest, smartest state”
Honestly, look back through some of the gems that state has passed into law.
Back when we had rock stars?? Back when we had rock stars???
I dunno, but I would totally bang Lady Gaga if given half a chance.
Are we finally going to have Jerry slap down all the creepy sanitized Meg Whitman commercials that we have had to endure for months now? The ones where she fails to even mention that she is a Republican and a crazy freaking Romneybot?
Ronstadt’s version of “Silver Threads” was totally lame vis a vis Dusty Springfield’s; ergo, Jerry Brown sucks.
[re=522866]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Fair enough. CARLY-MEG-SHEEP 2010!!!!1!
I thought that was Janet from Three’s Company. Good call, Ken.
[re=522865]MarSF[/re]: I am going to stab myself in the eye with a pen before the CA Governor race is over because of those commercials.
If you play them backwards, you can hear her say David.
[re=522866]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I like her and Warren Zevon’s original Poor Poor Pitiful Me, though.
Albeit, a *hot, thin* Linda Ronstadt.
I would vote for him…
his plan is so crazy, it just might work!
Really, I can’t see how old Jerry could make CA worse.
Good like finding someone sane who wants to run California — you’d have better luck trying to fly an anvil across the Pacific Ocean.
[re=522878]tunamelt[/re]: [re=522865]MarSF[/re]: I was kinda hoping they would go away after some sort of a teabagger primary or something. But at any rate, I have gotten very good at grabbing the remote and hitting mute. I picked that skill up from having Jay Leno come on at ten. Also, two and a half men incites the same response, additionally, as well.
I’ve met Jerry Brown several times and I have to say, he is a most unusual person. He hangs out in Calcutta with Ms. Theresa but then uses that experience as a club when people disagree with him or as some sort of justification for what heavy-handed thing he wants to do. He must have some very interesting internal arguments and calculations before doing anything. Fortunately, he’s smart enough and sharp enough to do both at the same time and very quickly so most folks wouldn’t notice. He should destroy any R who runs against him because he will come with a plan/club and will swing it like Conan used to do in his movies. It will be fun to watch as he definitely is a D with balls and knows where to hit the R’s, whether they have balls, Demon Sheep or just a lot of money.
And if he’s got any nude photos of Linda R. in a box somewhere, would he please post them someplace? (The obligatory snark, of course)
[re=522883]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I’m not going to lie, though, after living all 24 years of my life in Los Angeles, I’m beginning to feel fatigued of this crazy, crazy place. There’s sort of an element of, might as well.
Is that porn star running again? Why not her?
The contents of this blog are known to the State of California to cause cancer, premature births, raise blood pressure, cursing at the monitor, the need for brain bleech, and snark.
the sound of one penis clapping
[re=522872]Ken Layne[/re]: Kidding of course. I’ve always admired Jerry Brown as a supposedly flaky guy who gets more real stuff done than the supposed normals.
However, I’ve been holding a grudge against Linda Ronstadt for allowing herself to grow old and ugly.
Here come the blue denim police, they are here for your uncool niece.
this whole article fails to mention who Jerry is banging now. How can I make an informed decision without information like this?
[re=522864]honkyman[/re]: That’s no Lady, that’s a MAN, baby!
Take it back. Ronnie was a SAINT!
[re=522864]honkyman[/re]: Lady Gaga is not a “rock” star. She is an “I would totally bang” star. You know, I read it in a magazine.
[re=522886]Crank Tango[/re]: I think the Teabggers are confined to the CA Senate race so far- I hope I am wrong because this “Meg of Ebay” needs to get beaten up a little by her own side in order for my sanity to be preserved. I do think Brown would destroy her in a debate. He might be old but she is about as charismatic as a sack of mushy oatmeal.
Today we are all banging a young Linda Ronstadt. Heart Like a Wheel is a fantastic album. I’d vote for him.
After getting brutally fisted in the ears and eyes by the last thread, I think the following dollop of ultra-mini-dressed, man-in-black, soul-douching bliss is just what the doctor ordered:
Johnny Cash & Linda Ronstadt singing “I Will Never Marry”.
[re=522864]honkyman[/re]: [re=522904]gjdodger[/re]: Her?
[re=522906]MarSF[/re]: Yeah I dunno, I am really trying to block it all out. For instance, I don’t even know where I am supposed to stand re: demon sheep.
Someone once called Linda R. a ‘tomato can’.
I do not know what that means.
Jerry was a passenger on one of my flights, he sat in coach and charmed the shit out of the whole crew. Smart, cool, confident…very sexy. That was also the nascency of my daddy fetish.
[re=522904]gjdodger[/re]: Dude. Havez-vouz some respect. She is celibate, and shook hands with the Queen!
Come on California! You can do better than that!
[re=522914]sati demise[/re]: I think it’s because she used to be so saucy.
[re=522878]tunamelt[/re]: [re=522865]MarSF[/re]: Yea, I was forced to watch one during the last Lakers game and Forehead-bot’s dead eyes are nightmarish.
[re=522912]Crank Tango[/re]: I have recently come to the conclusion that Lady Gaga is just another person I have suspected of being a transexual is whatever it is they appear to be. I think that one (well OK or two) encounter has just made me very suspicious.
All I’m taking from this post is that my fellow Wonketts are still hung up on Lady GaGa tranny jokes. They’re so 2009, guys.
[re=522872]Ken Layne[/re]: HEY! Speaking of DEMON SHEEP, have you seen Chuck DeVore’s new DEMON SHEEP HUNTING Internet thing-y?
You get to choose your preferred method of extermination, and then leave fun little comments about the kill, such as:
“Demon Sheep hunter Mary Anne snuffed out one and said…
Slow-roast barbecue! NOM NOM!
There’s mutton I like more than a good sheep joke!
>richest, smartest state.
Which committed suicide in 1978.
Looking at the 1970s Linda Rondstadt, I really wish I could be Jerry Brown.
My Mom used to date him in the 50s. She said he was a wimp.
No one can save California. We need to split into two states and let the Republicans have the south. We’ll take everything north of Salinas and west of Mammoth Lakes.
[re=522866]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: not to mention Wanda Jackson. Ronstadt butchered a lot of the songs she covered – thinking of Warren Z’s “Poor Pitiful Me.”
[re=522943]blinky_twinkie[/re]: Like hell you will. (Nuke Fresno, however, and we’ll talk.)
[re=522936]4tehlulz[/re]: This is exactly the case. Prop. 13 didn’t kill us quickly because it was authored by R’s who like to watch people suffer for years (See Sen. Bunning).
[re=522908]Norbert[/re]: She did a version of the Stones ‘Tumbling Dice’ once. Didn’t realy compare well to the original but it was interesting finding out what the lyrics were about.
[re=522936]4tehlulz[/re]: That, and the rule requiring a supermajority to raise California taxes. Tax cuts uber alles!
There are no second chances in this life, unless your primary competition is Gavin “Tammy Faye” Newsom, Quitter.
Yeah, I am old enough to remember that the coolest thing about Brown was that he was screwing Linda.
Well, speaking as one who did at one time or another vote for JB… Forgot where I was going with that. Maybe just thinking about Linda walking around Africa. Barefoot.
Let’s just remember, however, that none of this worked out particularly well for Linda Ronstadt. And Jello was wrong, he frowns plenty.
I voted for Jerry Brown for President. It was in the New York primary in ’92. I voted for him because he’s a real D with balls, as someone says above.
But, if he’d been elected President then, the Republicans would have impeached him for not getting a blowjob.
Amazing that everyone on the left just cleared out for Jerry. He might just be the only person who could save our state. Sadly, though, the 2010 Linda Ronstadt looks like she ate the 1970s Linda.
[re=522985]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Wow, just did a google image search. Some folks age better than others I guess.
[re=522956]steverino247[/re]: I’d be happy if THE BAY AREA became it’s own state.
I always thought it was funny that Jello made him out to be some sort of left-wing dictator. I mean, Gov. Moonbeam? Really? He’d have to consult his charts and that weird bald-headed Frenchman before he could decide to build the work camps.
Actually, Doonesbury’s version of events hews pretty close to how I imagine a Jerry Brown Administration functioning. You guys can find it yourself; it’s like a month and a half long arc…
He’s two years YOUNGER than McCain, and better yet, SEVEN years younger than the Senate’s Biggest Asshole Jim Bunning. A.K.A., “not dead yeat, but getting there.”
[re=523000]blinky_twinkie[/re]: Correction- I’d be happy if THE BAY AREA became it’s own
statecountry.That was Zen. This is Tao.
[re=522992]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Still not as bad as many 63 year olds. And she’s still doing good with her activism.
Wish that she hadn’t picked up the extra weight though — I hope that she doesn’t have diabetes.
I remember when Jerry was running for president in 1992. His big issue was eliminating the progressive tax structure in favor of a flat tax. He gave these speeches with a chalk board and he would write “13%” (his proposed flat tax rate)and circle it. It was to show us how simple his plan was, no IRS needed! He also had a toll free number that you could call to donate money. It was on every sticker, campaign vehicle, and billboard Brown used. He also would recite the number multiple times in every speech. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had a blimp.
Basically, Jerry Brown was Ron Paul before Ron Paul.
[re=523013]TGY[/re]:
::polite golf clap::
I suppose if Georgy Russell isn’t going to run this time around (whatever happened to her, anyway?), I’ll have to support Governor Moonbeam. Heck, I’d support my neighbor’s schnauzer if it were merely a question of preventing Meg Whitman from imposing her “business model” on California.
My favorite Gov. Moonbeam joke was about how he owned a Saturn because he thought they were made there. Get it?
[re=523019]Cicada[/re]:
Yeah, but it had some sort of crazy deduction thing that made it essentially progressive in the end. I have no idea how it worked, but I do remember that much.
Come on, Spaceman!
Will Jerry face a primary challenge from Jello Biafra?
“…he would be even older than the oldest example of wretched old insane people who should be euthanized, John McCain”
Sure but have you seen Linda Ronstadt lately? She’s not exactly the perky lil’ pie-wagon o’ pop that Gov. Moonbeam used to bone…
[re=523056]PabaBritannica[/re]: That just isn’t true. There was no low-income exemption in his plan. He also wanted a VAT added onto goods, which is completely regressive. His argument to liberals was that a flat tax would close corporate tax loopholes, and he defended the regressive nature of the tax by saying the economy would benefit so there would be fewer poor people. No joke.
Brown’s plan was designed by Arthur Laffer for chrissakes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Laffer
Jerry was a tall cool drink of water after that Chimpy Ronnie Reagan clown pandered to the corporate dollar and starved our treasury ever since.
I’m voting for Jerry Brown for Governor.
I voted for Jerry for Governor; I voted for Jerry for President; I voted for Jerry for Attorney General; not living in Oakland, I couldn’t vote for him for mayor, but I will vote for whateverthefuck state office he runs for again.
And yes, Clinton was and remains trash.
Jerry Brown seriously might be one of the few people who could straighten out this mess. I’ve already started sending him money. Every time Meg Whitman says something retarded I send another $20. By election-day I should be broke and he should be elected.
[re=522957]Cape Clod[/re]: That’s the song my schoolmate adamantly insisted featured the chorus “Tommy The Chocolate Man.” Even though it is called “Tumbling Dice.”
I’d vote for Jerry Brown, keeping in mind that today we have a very different California than the one he governed previously. Republicans have done as much, if not more, damage to the Golden State’s fiscal and social policies than they have to those of the Federal government. Not to mention the beauty queens who now define the state’s “Family Values.”
[re=522900]This Cat[/re]: Jerry Brown got married for the first time at the age of 67 (like many Catholics, he was a late bloomer). Sen. Dianne Feinstein joined him in matrimony to Anne Gust. She is a University of Michigan law school alumna who, prior to becoming executive director of The Gap Foundation was that corporation’s chief administrative officer and general counsel. Feel free to Google her photo, but be warned that unlike some other governors, Jerry wasn’t getting his dates in casino parking lots.
And to all you people who are critical of Linda Ronstadt’s appearance, if you can explain how she looks any worse than Crosby, Stills, Nash or Young, bring it on.
[re=523107]Beanball[/re]: You got that right (Clinton = trash).
Jello Biafra was no fan:
I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon I will be president…
Carter Power will soon go away
I will be Fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
Your kids will meditate in school!
[Chorus:]
California Uber Alles
California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California
Uber Alles California
Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face
Close your eyes, can’t happen here
Big Bro’ on white horse is near
The hippies won’t come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay
Mellow out or you will pay!
[Chorus]
Now it is 1984
Knock-knock at your front door
It’s the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool niece
Come quietly to the camp
You’d look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don’t you worry, it’s only a shower
For your clothes here’s a pretty flower.
DIE on organic poison gas
Serpent’s egg’s already hatched
You will croak, you little clown
When you mess with President Brown
When you mess with President Brown
When Brown was Da Mayor of Oakland, he lived with his male partner (okay, okay, maybe they were just roommates, I wasn’t there). At age 67 he marries a woman.
It’s all good to me! Bring on the new Governor of California – Jerry Brown.
Jello recanted a long time ago. So did the guy who coined “Moonbeam.”
Jaques Barzaghi – his aide and former roommate.
But, hey, I don’t care who he’s boning – I want him to fix things.
Okay – maybe not. Barzaghi is a hound dog who got into a sexual harassment suit at work. See:
http://www.eastbayexpress.com/eastbay/zen-and-the-art-of-mayoral-maintenance/Content?oid=1069630
[re=522854]Crank Tango[/re]: Thanks for the reminder!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrOCwk3U7H4&feature=related
(I once terrified a CA hater by singing along vociferously to this one…fun times.)
[re=522943]blinky_twinkie[/re]: “We need to split into two states and let the Republicans have the south”
HEY! Los Angeles is a blue city, thank you, and we are not about to go quietly into the red sea…
[re=522881]SwanSwanH[/re]: If you ever get a chance to watch the video of Johnny Cash performing at the Tennessee State Prison, I highly recommend it! Foster Brooks is hilarious (his poison mushroom joke was a huge hit!) – and Linda R. is simply amazing…
[re=523063]doloras[/re]: Jello still owes the City and County of San Francisco thousands of dollars from his campaign for Mayor – I believe that was back in ’79. He formally filed for Mayor and then didn’t submit any campaign financial reports. The fines just keep growing.
[re=522881]SwanSwanH[/re]: Not so thin after all…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6-IIXAF5HOE/Sy873GlNFbI/AAAAAAAAH-Q/qJ8FHJgyolY/s400/Linda_RONSTADT.JPG
He’s gotta be better than Ahhnold.
[re=522931]tiny mexican[/re]: In Soviet California, Lady Gaga bangs you!
[re=523138]Dr. Spaceman[/re]: True story: They named him Gov. Moonbeam because he wanted to use satellite technology to link government databases and speed communications.
That’s apparently crazy talk cira 1976
I voted for him the first time, which means nothing except that I am an old.
He may want to be governor again, but I don’t think he has any interest in banging Linda Ronstadt these days. On a scale of one to Roseanne Barr, she’s…up there.
Brown really tried to warn us about Prop 13, but the reptards even way back then knew how to stir the pot with tales of horror, taxing Grandma out of her house. They never did come clean about the real reason for it, that being that corporate property taxes would never be revalued due to sale, because corporations never die. I’d consider moving back just to vote for him again.
[re=522985]CaliforniaMike[/re]: “Amazing that everyone on the left just cleared out for Jerry.”
It’s not that amazing, honestly. The state’s big Democratic funders got together in Beverly Hills way back in early ’08, determined not to let their disunity result in another Ahnuld. They chose Jerry then.
Ronstadt worse than David Crosby? No way. The only mystery about David Crosby is how Melissa Etheridge and her partner looked at him and said, “Damn, that’s what we want our baby to look like.”
Jerry Beige.
[re=523004]rottenart[/re]: Hey, ho! Go with the flow!
As I posted previously on Brown, during his 1992 campaign, Roone Arledge put ABC in the tank for Clinton by running a few stories about how the state troopers witness pot and coke parties at the governor’s mansion. They never said Brown was there, but Roone did place the Eagles and those other California rock bands there.
Guilt by association, I guess you’d call it.
Probably to provide cover for Clinton and “his” cocaine operations being run out of Mena.
Subject of the Dead Kennedys song “California Ueber alles,” too.
[re=522900]This Cat[/re]: Whoever’s on duty at the Massage Parlor of the Goddesses, of course!
[re=522985]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Jeebus!
Mad Love wasn’t bad (the album). Was it dedicated to Moonbeam?
Actually, considering the sort of stuff the L.A. scene musicians were doing back in the 70′s, I think the fact that Linda is alive and coherent can only count as a win.
Still screwing Linda Ronstadt?
[re=522897]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: She is still a great singer. Old happens. She will never be ugly…though I am.
[re=523138]Dr. Spaceman[/re]: Mike Royko, RIP.
Did you sign the Jerry Brown petition for public records? I did: http://whatsbrowndone.com/petition/ Jerry Brown, the DEMOCRAT, needs to release his records from when he was governor of California, THE FIRST TIME! Help me spread the word, and share the video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Okd2JCq5dg
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