Fly Me To the Moon

  daily briefing
  • A sign that the economy is still horrible: Mark Foley opens a thrift shop in Florida. [WZVN-7]
  • Millions of tons of ice have been found on the Moon’s north pole. Humans haven’t been to the moon in four decades. But if we ever return, there’s water for drinking and water to split into oxygen and hydrogen for breathing and rocket fuel. [MSNBC/BBC]
  • Bedridden seniors who can’t work a remote were delighted to once again fall asleep to Jay Leno after the local weather and sports and mattress commercials. But tonight they’ll be kept awake by the shrieking insanity of Jay’s special guest, Sarah Palin [Chicago Sun-Times]
  • Bankrupt California is going to do a whole helluva lot more global economic destruction than a bankrupt Greece. [Telegraph]
  • The girl who left the noose hanging at the UC San Diego library sent an anonymous note to the college paper saying she’s as sorry as those dudes who held the party at UCSD mocking Black History Month. [Los Angeles Times]
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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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49 comments

  1. V572625694

    Water on the moon! Terrific, all we have to do is fly a few million tons of coal, or a few million barrels of oil, up there to melt the ice and generate the electricity to hydrolyze it into oxygen and hydrogen to make fuel cells. Hey presto, it’ll be too cheap to meter! Or if that seems, uh, uneconomical, we can build big solar panels on earth, then just run them up to the moon to generate the power. The future’s so bright everybody’s gonna need sunglasses!

  2. Sparky McGruff

    California is a greater risk than Greece, warns JP Morgan chief
    And, JP Morgan itself is an even bigger risk to our economy, though not as big as Goldman Sachs. Go figure, stop watching the greedy bankers, and they do stupid things. Who could have ever predicted that.

  3. freakishlystrong

    I would prefer if the hillbilly grifter would go on Letterman-that might be something to see. That said, given the lineup, it will be a Lunesta/Ambien with several glasses of wine night for me.

  4. Lazy Media

    [re=522511]V572625694[/re]: Jeezus, have you read NO 1940s science fiction? Nucl’ar power, baybee, is what’s too cheap to meter. All we have to do is lift a few hundred pounds of plutonium up there; what could possibly go wrong?

  5. Chernobyl Soup

    There’s a story on CNN this morning about how the 8.8 earthquake has tilted the axis of the earth in such a way that our days will now be several microseconds shorter. You know what this means: Politico has less time to win the day. They’re going to have to cut back on their research and fact checking in order to get to press on time.

  6. plowman

    [re=522516]Lazy Media[/re]: Or just send up a few hunderd pounds of politicians, they’d generate enough hot air to melt the moon-ice and should there be an launch ‘anomoly’ the downrange pollution would consist mostly of pork grease and bullshit.

  7. Norbert

    [re=522511]V572625694[/re]: Now I’m no scientist, but I have a gut feeling that we could buy every cheap made-in-China extension cord from every dollar store in the world, attach them end to end, and actually connect Earth to the Moon to run power up there.

  8. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=522518]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: “They’re going to have to cut back on their research and fact checking in order to get to press on time.”

    Ha ha ha ha ha…you kidder, you!

  9. Jim Demintia

    Too bad that scam artist in Nevada already claimed the moon, parceled it off into lots, and sold them as lunar real estate to the Hilton and Marriott corporations.

  10. Monsieur Grumpe

    I really can’t stand Leno but I seem to recall that he would go out on the street and ask stupid people questions and record their answers. It seems like this Palin interview is just more of the same. Watching dumb people talk is not my idea of entertainment; it’s too much like work.

  11. Darkness

    Not to quibble, but if you have enough energy lying around to split the oxygen and hydrogen, what for you need rocket fuel?

    Oh, you want to come home again? No, you won’t. Imagine how insane humanity will look from that tranquil vantage point.

  12. gurukalehuru

    Yeah, so they just announced a special at Mark Foley’s store. Boys pants, half off.

  13. Captain Justice

    As a UCSD student, she probably thinks her minority status comes from being a girl.

  14. Oldskool

    Isn’t it also time for NASA to announce they found water on Mars again? It’s becoming a yearly ritual.

  15. JMP

    Palin is going on Leno so that, for the very first time in her life, she gets to be only the second most hated person in the room.

  16. Lazy Media

    [re=522543]Terry[/re]: Sure, a gigantic explosion of nuclear waste on the moon transforms Martin Landau and Barbara Bain into “Thunderbirds” puppets in awesome bellbottom tunic suits. I’m IN!

  17. slithytoves

    [re=522543]Terry[/re]: Except 1999 is a number, not a word, and yes, I have the entire DVD collection. Fantabulous, especially with buzz! And the episodes ran 55 mins – which tells you how much tv has been taken over by advertisements these days – you can only get about 40 minutes out of a DVD of a contemporary show.

  18. bureaucrap

    Apparently the only goods in Foley’s “consignment shop” are his own. Which makes it not so much a thrift store as a garage sale.

    And I have a great name for it: “A Foley and his Money…”

  19. Mr Blifil

    The earthquake that killed more than 700 people in Chile on Feb. 27 probably shifted the Earth’s axis and shortened the day

    Well it most definitely shortened the day for those 700 or so people.

  20. donner_froh

    “I can’t write checks without money; that’s against the law. My main goal is to keep the state afloat, but I won’t be able to do it without the help of new legislation,” said Mr Chiang.

    What kind of stupid laws do they have in California? No wonder the state is broke.

  21. chaste everywhere

    “I am distraught to know that I have unintentionally added to their pain.”

    If only I strung up the nose accidentally on purpose and then reluctantly forgot to remember about it.

    By the by, how do the LA Times know she’s been suspended if they don’t know who she be? (Come to ponder, how do the LA Times claim to know anything?)

  22. Prommie

    [re=522511]V572625694[/re]: The Talking Heads predicted this, water on the moon, over 30 years ago. Is there nothing we cannot learn from 70s era new wave alternative hipster bands?

  23. Mr Blifil

    [re=522572]chaste everywhere[/re]: How much you wanna bet that her “minority status” will turn out to mean “white Mormon?”

  24. Terry

    [re=522553]slithytoves[/re]:

    I used to LOVE that show. I was highly disappointed in the year 1999 when the moon neither had a base on it nor was in any danger of flying out of orbit.

  25. chaste everywhere

    [re=522572]chaste everywhere[/re]: Make that “transgendered white Mormon” and you’re getting warm (and, as a bonus, getting me warm).

  26. Mr Blifil

    [re=522601]JMP[/re]: Actually the article states much of the water “migrated” to the pole, so in a sense it did flow uphill, oddly enough. Also if you play “I Zimbra” backwards there’s a garbled reference to Leno and Conan.

  27. This Cat

    Moon ice will soon be what our benevolent overlords will be chilling their drinks with, at $100,000.00 a pop, while they figure out how to re-package the foreclosures of shouty hillbillies and teh browns.

  28. Lazy Media

    [re=522553]slithytoves[/re]: Those episodes are 55 minutes only because the show was originally British. It was trimmed for American TV; even in the ’70s an hour of our TV was only about 48[re=522582]

    Mr Blifil[/re]: minutes of programming.
    I’m betting third-generation Japanese (aka “white but good at math”).

  29. schvitzatura

    [re=522511]V572625694[/re]: Need energy on the moon? Just strike a Selenite with your parapluie.

    NASA crucifies the insincere, tonight…

  30. bustydilettante

    Mark Foley opens a store to sell off his stuff and all you folks can talk about is LENO? Come on, some of us depend on you Wonketeers for our morning barbs…

  31. Sparky McGruff

    [re=522574]Prommie[/re]: The Talking Heads also predicted that there would be water at the bottom of the ocean. And, as I think every day, they noted:

    You may ask yourself
    What is that beautiful house?
    You may ask yourself
    Where does that highway lead to?
    You may ask yourself
    Am I right?… Am I wrong?
    You may say to yourself
    My God!… what have I done?

  32. Berkeley Bear

    [re=522623]Lazy Media[/re]: In the UC system any Asian variation is a good bet (and laughable as any basis for empathizing with the 1% of UCSD’s student body that’s African American). However, I also ran into a bunch of people who “discovered” their Native American roots once they found out it helped with admissions. And my father’s immigrant status made me a “minority” too for certain programs, so she could be a white girl with a Russian mommy or daddy.

  33. JMP

    [re=522675]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Only for admission? You’d think they would be among the many, many regular old white folks who love to brag about how they’re part Native American because a great-great-great-great-grandmother was one.

  34. Long Form Def Certificate

    I’m not feeling this UCSD scrum. Needs more super slo-mo like my favourite San Diego export, Baywatch.

  35. Darkness

    [re=522572]chaste everywhere[/re]: We need an award for lame-ist assed post-hoc pathetic lying excuse for acting like a fucktard. This girl’s a shoe-in for a top nomination.

  36. Accordion-o-rama

    Now we know where Al Gore has been stashing all that ice that was supposedly “melting” in Antarctica!

  37. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=522655]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Taking on a more practical subject, The Talking Heads also informed us that your better class of girlfriends will have smoke in their eyes.

  38. lochnessmonster

    Will she be bringing her kids on stage so she can write off their airfare, clothing, meals etc.? BTW when do those kids ever go to school?

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