• February 9, 2012


Always with the fake British accents and the Guy Fawkes masks, the Paultards are. But there is a Reason why Tea Party Baggers are putting new embarrassing home videos on the YouTubes: The Man is trying to find The Leader of the Teabaggers, so as to imprison this Brave Knight in a Darke Tower of Dragon Poop. If the Teabaggers post enough YouTubes of themselves repeating the Ancient Rune “I am the Tea Party Leader,” the tower shalst be burninated, and the *true leader* (a hobbit) set free!

Not even making this up:

“Big Government has learned that Clintonistas are plotting a ‘push/pull’ strategy. They plan to identify 7-8 national figures active in the tea party movement and engage in deep opposition research on them. If possible, they will identify one or two they can perhaps ‘turn’, either with money or threats, to create a mole in the movement.

Also, these people are practicing for some all-night sexytime on Chatroulette:


David Lynch made this one.


Uhh, looks like David Lynch made this one, too.


It’s just a David Lynch art project, this whole thing, isn’t it? ISN’T IT? Like that RABBITS web movie?! Please?


SAY YOU ARE THE TEA PARTY LEADER, ya fuckin’ kid. Or no more ‘puter time! Mama is getting ANGRY.

{ 87 comments }

Big Liver March 1, 2010 at 11:23 am

I am Spartacus!!!

CrunchyKnee March 1, 2010 at 11:26 am

I am Malcolm X?

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 11:27 am

I am the Tea Party Leader. I AM the Tea Party Leader. I am THE Tea Party Leader. I am the TEA Party Leader. I am the Tea PARTY Leader. I am the Tea Party LEADER

Pandy March 1, 2010 at 11:28 am

Now what was Keith Olberman saying about this tea party thingy not being diverse? I guess he was wrong! There’s a kid in one of those video, so there!

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 11:29 am

Kill. Fuck. Kill. Kill. Fuck. Marry.

freakishlystrong March 1, 2010 at 11:29 am

That last guy, the one from Missouri? Yeah, him I believe, he looks like he’s on disability, social security and Medicare.

Citizen Kitteh March 1, 2010 at 11:29 am

I’m really enchanted by this, despite the inspiration being based on some paranoid belief. These folks are putting the “party” into the Tea Party!

The Church of Realism March 1, 2010 at 11:31 am

Isn’t that like saying you are King of the Hobos?

rmontcal March 1, 2010 at 11:32 am

This is just so frustrating for me, because each time I think that I know who the Tea Party Leader is, there is a new video with someone else claiming to be the Tea Party Leader and now I just don’t know what to think.

This reminds me of the confusion that I felt that one time when I made out with two different girls in the same evening.

TGY March 1, 2010 at 11:33 am

Today, we are all Fawked.

rmontcal March 1, 2010 at 11:33 am

[re=521693]freakishlystrong[/re]: And it looks like his webcam was made by his own hands out of toothpicks and poop.

Come here a minute March 1, 2010 at 11:34 am

Yo soy el líder de la fiesta de té.

Lascauxcaveman March 1, 2010 at 11:35 am

I am getting a little grossed out.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 11:35 am

With so many teabaggers trying to declare themselves leader, there’s hope this might descent into a multiparty civil war; sort of like in this classic movie scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEtUe87Zb3w

rmontcal March 1, 2010 at 11:37 am

Because their one line takes about 2 seconds to say, but that each clip is like 10 seconds long, I kind of think that in each and every case, these people are hitting record and then totally freezing up. They stare into the camera thinking, “Dammit, what was that line again? Something like, “I am the WalMart greeter?”

mookworthjwilson March 1, 2010 at 11:38 am

I AM RETARDACUS!!!

Chickensmack March 1, 2010 at 11:39 am

Fucking Tea Partiers were so drunk on tea, they dropped their flags on the ground.

God damn flag dropping sons of bitches.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 11:39 am

[re=521698]TGY[/re]: It’s funny that they’ve taken on the Guy Fawkes masks based on V for Vendetta, because of the delusion that they’re fighting for freedom. Someone should tell them that Alan Moore based the fascistic government in the book on his fear of where Thatcher was leading the UK (and to a lesser extent, Reagan for the US).

rmontcal March 1, 2010 at 11:40 am

[re=521706]Chickensmack[/re]: Lookin like a fool with their flags on the ground.

Way Cool Larry March 1, 2010 at 11:41 am

Isnt that child abuse???

BaconTime March 1, 2010 at 11:41 am

Ah yes, the famous capture of the Spartans wherein the rebel forces posted video responses on youtube and went back to their basements, err…were mass crucified. Same thing basically.

petehammer March 1, 2010 at 11:42 am

I wonder if this is actually some brilliant democratic plan to destroy the tea party movement. If everyone is claiming to be leader, the actual, egotistical leaders will start losing their poop and eventually this whole thing will fracture. Given HCR, I doubt this.

qwerty42 March 1, 2010 at 11:42 am

Bill Clinton is their enemy now? Haven’t they heard about our socialist kenyan nazi president? mooslim too, I forgot that. Anyway, if I know this, why don’t they? Or is this just those kooks at “big government”

doxastic March 1, 2010 at 11:43 am

Is this Brietbart’s takedown of the entire left, or has the three weeks to settle our affairs not yet expired? Wake me up when the reckoning begins.

coolcatdaddy March 1, 2010 at 11:44 am

If this is Sparticus, it needs moar naked men and booobs.

Downtheroadapiece March 1, 2010 at 11:45 am

Diabeeeeeeeeeeeeetus!

tootsieroll March 1, 2010 at 11:45 am

Needs moar demon sheep.

WIDTAP March 1, 2010 at 11:48 am

So, choosing leaders, is there a process for that or something?

Downtheroadapiece March 1, 2010 at 11:48 am

[re=521713]doxastic[/re]: I’m just holding out for the Rapture. It sure will be nice to be rid of that lot.

Sleeves March 1, 2010 at 11:50 am

[re=521701]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Gosh yes…I imagine something truly misanthropic—and so, self-loathing—in the propagandists yanking these chains. Awful.

Crank Tango March 1, 2010 at 11:51 am

Well, since we can’t figure out who the real leader is, and since I am not going to waste my time watching the videos, I say we kill all of them, twice, burn their corpses, and sprinkle the ashes on my beet fields.

El Pinche March 1, 2010 at 11:52 am

Santy Clause apparently was on the space shuttle .

Red Zeppelin March 1, 2010 at 11:53 am

Are they intentionally trying for the title of the most unnattractive political movement ever? Cause they are well on their way.

Manos: Hands of Fate March 1, 2010 at 11:55 am

[re=521712]qwerty42[/re]: I’ve gotten so used to AM radio creeps screaming about how we got a no-good alien socialist in charge, I forgot how flipped out everyone was at one point about a southern-fried good ol’ boy who was about to set up a police state and take everyones guns.

The Democrats could put a Great Dane puppy in office and there would be books about how the puppy is comin after our guns and freedom. Wild country this America.

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 11:57 am

I keep telling youse, these people have over-active fantasy lives! They really do, in their little brains, think they are engaged in a Bold and Brave Struggle against Tyranny and Oppression, and that this Brilliant Ruse of hiding their real leader by all claiming to be The Leader will confound and foil the forces of oppression even now banging on their cellar doors. And yes, they do capitalize Important Words, even when only thinking them.

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 11:58 am

They’re being oppressed by the Clinton administration now? These folks are retroactively repressed and proactively stupid.

doxastic March 1, 2010 at 11:59 am

[re=521721]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Sometimes I wonder if the Rapture isn’t just a hoax to get our hopes up, only to dash them whenever we notice that Kirk Cameron hasn’t disappeared yet.

elburrito March 1, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Fuck ops and blackmail. A pack of HoHos and a tin of chew would be enough to turn these patriots.

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 12:02 pm

The Libtard equivalent of this type would be the ever-hyperventilating William Rivers Pitt.

Sleeves March 1, 2010 at 12:05 pm

[re=521732]Prommie[/re]: Oh, no question. That is doctrine, and reminds me instantly of the Israeli yankers’ work in this country…their exploitation of paramilitary pretension.

Certainly gets the attention of public office holders.

imissopus March 1, 2010 at 12:05 pm

The comments at Big Government are, as always, priceless.

Starrigavan March 1, 2010 at 12:07 pm

I thought the Mad Hatter was the Tea Party leader… or was it the White Rabbit?

jetjaguar March 1, 2010 at 12:10 pm

I want that kid’s shirt.

Downtheroadapiece March 1, 2010 at 12:11 pm

[re=521734]doxastic[/re]: Hmm. Food for thought indeed.

Though, maybe God’s got an off by one error working. Boner’s gone but we’ve still got ‘ol Mikey Seaver walking amongst us.

Downtheroadapiece March 1, 2010 at 12:12 pm

[re=521739]elburrito[/re]: Make that flavored chew and you’ll be on to something.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 12:14 pm

[re=521734]doxastic[/re]: The wrong Growing Pains alum killed himself.

saralovesyou March 1, 2010 at 12:17 pm

I love that they simultaneously think that the “big government” is focused on them enough and organized enough to evilly profile their leaders, and yet Keystone Kops enough to be like “OH! That’s the leader!” and run in the direction of the maker of a Youtube video, knocking each other over as they redirect towards the maker of the next video (and so on).

TheCoolestGuyInTown March 1, 2010 at 12:20 pm

This going to get bizzare. The videos are going to quickly become a mix of people saying they’re the tea party leader; ironically to make fun of them, made up like toothless, illiterate Hillbillies and Klan members. Then there’s going to be the actual toothless Hillbillies and Klan members that will through in other messages like, holding a gun & hinting at revolution. I give it a couple of days till someone is holding a noose…

sati demise March 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm

The real leader is the old guy ’cause his video was made in 1953 and has been teleported to the present day.
Same guy got Reagan elected.

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=521763]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: Have you searched youtube for “noose” yet?

Gopherit March 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Jesus fuck, was that last guy broadcasting from Moon Base Alpha? What’s with all of the static in the video?

I can’t wait until this meme turns into real self-aggrandizement and they start throwing punches. “No, I AM THE TEA PARTY LEADER, MOTHERFUCKER!!! BOAW DOWN TO ME!!!”

Redhead March 1, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Right. Because this will turn out just like the movies, and if (for some bizarre reason) the gubmint (ie, the Clintons, since apparently they’re a bigger threat than that Kenyan lion guy now) does decide to arrest the leader of the Teabaggers, they will look at this and get all confused and give up… instead of just, you know, arresting all of the people claiming to be leaders.

imissopus March 1, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[re=521734]doxastic[/re]: I have a theory that once all these nutjobs started hoping for it and he got a good look at them, God called off the Rapture and never bothered to tell anyone.

pampl March 1, 2010 at 12:31 pm

I can’t wait until a someone with a tanner complexion posts one of these and the tea party collapses into civil war

S.Luggo March 1, 2010 at 12:31 pm

Madam, I am Adam.

Litlebritdifrnt March 1, 2010 at 12:32 pm

The dude in the last one looks very much like the naked fat guy in front of the computer picture that Wonkette loves to use so much. Wonder if its him?

Internally valid March 1, 2010 at 12:34 pm

So the Clinton administration is going to dig up dirt on the Tea Party leaders and smear them? Wouldn’t being called the leader of these clowns be smear enough? I mean look at these people.

Starrigavan March 1, 2010 at 12:41 pm

The one with the kid is perfect. None of these people want the government telling them what to do, but this kid is forced to say something he clearly doesn’t want to. So that’s freedom for these idiots. Forcing others to say what you want them to say. Got to love it.

PsycGirl March 1, 2010 at 12:41 pm

[re=521706]Chickensmack[/re]: and to think we were THIS CLOSE to having an amendment that authorized the death penalty for flag dropping. Or something like that.

Norbert March 1, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Holy shit it all makes sense now … Wilford Brimley WAS Moondog, Moondog was Brimley

Hello Sunshine March 1, 2010 at 12:56 pm

[re=521707]JMP[/re]: Plus Guido Fawkes was a Catholic, which surely makes him part of the original worldwide conspiracy to suppress THE TRUTH to support THE MAN.

Mind you, I’m pretty sure they’d all approve of Mr Fawkes’ latest incarnation, a right-wing libertarian loon with numerous drink-driving convictions who hates Gordon Brown, socialism and, apparently, life itself: http://www.order-order.com

One Yield Regular March 1, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=521704]rmontcal[/re]: And amazingly, not one of them so far is reading it from a note scribbled on his or her palm.

RoscoePColtraine March 1, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Child indoctrination lives, and it extends from the flying spaghetti monster all the way to the socialist marxist communist naziist gubmint. Say it! SAY IT!!!

Autoo March 1, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Needs moar indians; less chiefs.

RoscoePColtraine March 1, 2010 at 1:14 pm

And it appears that some folks missed the Martha Stewart episode where she discussed the hanging of picture/photo frames on the walls. I bet if you checked in those guys’ linen closets, their towels would be a hot mess, too.

proudgrampa March 1, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Ich bin ein Teabag.

DustBowlBlues March 1, 2010 at 1:44 pm

[re=521707]JMP[/re]: Fuck history. It’s as meaningless to The Teabaggers as reality.

comicbookguy March 1, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Looks good on a resume:

Tea Party Leader (2009-present)
Roles and Responsibilities: single-handedly stopped healthcare reform through creative use of signs, slogans, and short youtube videos. Leader of a nationwide revolt against taxes, communists, and Kenyans without valid birf certificats. Results include balanced budgets, restored freedoms, and more guns in Starbucks.

DustBowlBlues March 1, 2010 at 1:47 pm

[re=521733]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “retroactively repressed and proactively stupid.”

Kudos.

Extemporanus March 1, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Looks like Log Lady’s checkin’ out some hawt and dirrrty Jesus porn on the ol’ Walmart ‘puter, there. I wonder if her, ahem, assistant was too? Nothing like a little mother/son monkey spankin’ to strengthen those familial bonds!

Also, my wife has those same pajamas.

[re=521692]Mr Blifil[/re]: “Kill. Fuck. Kill. Kill. Fuck. Merry…Christmas!”

[re=521749]jetjaguar[/re]: You can have his shirt when you pry it from his cold, dead mouth.

DustBowlBlues March 1, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Is this an attempt to taunt the liberal elites with the Teabaggers ersatz populism? Are they proving something to us? If so, what the fuck?

(I’m assuming anyone using full sentences in which all words are spelled correctly and those who use “in which” in said sentences are automatically included in the definition of liberal elites. Congratulate yourselves, elitist wonkeratti).

Extemporanus March 1, 2010 at 1:54 pm

[re=521753]JMP[/re]: I WANT MY BONER BAKC!!1

DustBowlBlues March 1, 2010 at 2:05 pm

[re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: You forgot “hates muslin, willing to wear polyster only.”

DustBowlBlues March 1, 2010 at 2:11 pm

This just in: Tamryn Hall, formerly news partner of my pretend boyfriend, David “You’re Welcome” Shuster, is officially a commie, Kenyan, muslin lover. She exposed her treasonous thoughts by pronouncing “nuclear” correctly.

MSNBC is dangerous to the freedoms of Teabagging Patriots.

TVarmy March 1, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Rabbits made me ascared to sleep at night. If I watch these, will I ever sleep again?

By the way, congratulations, Tea Baggers. Your party is now even more divided than before. There are now over 9000 discrete units, each with their own leader.

I really don’t get this, but at least they’re having fun playing “politics” while we wrap up healthcare.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: It can go right under “Time’s Person of the Year, 2006″.

comicbookguy March 1, 2010 at 2:28 pm

[re=521903]JMP[/re]: Lest we forget “Candidate for California Governor, 2003″

Aloysius March 1, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Why don’t any of these people want to be Tom Joad? Too commie?

Rajul March 1, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Have these fucking fucktards ever had one fucking original fucking idea in their pathetic, fucktarded lives? Next thing you know they’ll all take off their clothes and jump in a big homo butt-fuck daisy chain pile-up because they saw it on South Park (and also are gay).

Accordion-o-rama March 1, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Deutschland uber Alles is the Tea Party lieder.

bigfatpantload March 1, 2010 at 4:54 pm

I just weep for this country.

PickneyPinchback March 1, 2010 at 7:59 pm

So exactly what are the boundaries of this Teabagland these fine people wish to be the rulers of?

Poo Flinger 69 March 1, 2010 at 10:19 pm

[re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: love it you are the funniest!

skutre March 2, 2010 at 9:15 am

TROGDOOOOOR!!1!!

loupgarous March 14, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Gee. Didn’t you wonderful, tolerant liberals get the memo from Hillary?

Dissent is patriotic.

loupgarous March 14, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Dissent is STILL patriotic. Even when patriots are doing it (now).

loupgarous March 14, 2010 at 9:41 pm

I just noticed that you use the obscenity “teabaggers” to describe people with whose politics you don’t agree.

And after all that whining and puling about people questioning the masculinity of liberals. (Of course, I’ve never questioned the masculinity of Hillary Clinton, Bella Abzug, Barbara Boxer or Nancy Pelosi. Not even a little.)

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: