tim burton's masterpiece

Oh Jesus: Tea Party ‘Leader’ Discovered On YouTube


Heyyyy, this is just like that “I am Windows 7″ ad campaign … but completely horrifying! What the hell? Oh, that’s right, the Teabaggers’ personal lord and savior, St. Palin of Facebook, told them she wouldn’t be leader of this gang of white trash on twitter (after taking their $100,000). Why? Because every Teabagger is the leader of every Teabagger! They’re all just cold bowing to each other and saying “Namaste!”

What we mean is, Relax, that angry lady in the above-embedded video isn’t *really* the Teabag Queen. It’s this guy:

No wait, it’s this guy:


[Crazy website via Rumproast]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

98 comments

  1. The Huffington Pogue

    I’m still waiting to see a furry with a sign that reads, “I am the Tea Party leader.”

  2. mookworthjwilson

    [re=521597]WarAndG[/re]: [re=521599]proudgrampa[/re]: I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes…hahahah…ew…

  3. JMP

    Of course no one wants to admit to being the teabaggers’ leader; they’re far too insane for anyone with an ounce of sense to claim them. Hell, even man who actually did start the whole thing, Glenn Beck, has tried to distance himself from the movement; and he’s completely batshit insane.

    Too bad, high profile wignuts. You should have realized that the monster always ends up turning on its creator, who must pay for the sin of making the beast in the first place. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoistByHisOwnPetard
    Oh well, I have no sympathy for you.

  4. Redhead

    “They’re all just cold bowing to each other and saying “Namaste!”” Wait, you mean they’re really from… my god the boobs! They’re blinding!
    Sorry, got distracted for a minute. So, Wonkett, are you saying these teabaggers are really Darma or the Others or something? Is that the surprise ending on Lost?

    Oh and what’s up with Santa at the bottom? Isn’t a wise old man redistributing a bunch of toys as he sees fit kind of a communist/socialist/facist/nazi idea?

  5. Guppy06

    So… just post a ten-second clip of someone or something saying “I’m the Grand Teabagger Poobah?”

    As the kids say, “Oh, exploitable!”

  6. germansteel

    At long last, even I can discern a pattern – a theme, if you will – to the Teabagger phenomenom.

  7. Guppy06

    Looking at that first one…

    I don’t want anybody else
    When I think about you I touch myself

  8. davesnothere

    [re=521603]Buzz Feedback[/re]: And the corollary: always bang a woman with trusts. Or always wear your truss, or something, I fergits. Teabag on!

  9. What Fresh Hell is This?

    If I had any technological capability, it would be like the awful ads with the talking babies:

    Trig: “I am the tea party leader.”

  10. dijetlo

    [re=521606]JMP[/re]: I thought the Rupert and the Dick Army were the creators of the Teabagger legions? Glenn Beck and The SnowBilly Grifter are more akin to toothless, one eyed camp followers who swell the ranks with stirring oratory.

  11. Limeylizzie

    As another woman of a certain age, with a very healthy set of bosoms, I reach out to that creature and suggest she get a professional fitting , she is easily a 40DD and very, very droopy…support is key! A new hairdresser and some therapy wouldn’t hurt either.

  12. Long Form Def Certificate

    I just read yesterday that the Patient Zero of Tea-bagging is some 30 years old Washington State resident, Western Washington grad (means she likes teh gweeg), & instructor in basic math for adult learner (meaning, GED candidates). Sounds like she should be an Obama voter, & in fact, her fiance is, just as her parents were Clintonistas in the 90s, but old girl just has to be different.

  13. Papas got a brand new teabag

    whiskey tango foxtrot is a “cold blowing”? most blowies i’ve had were very warm.

  14. TGY

    “I thought we had agreed there’d be no leader, right? Right! So everybody do what I say.”

  15. Papas got a brand new teabag

    gosh i don’t know whiskey tango foxtrot is wrong with me. i read that last sentence as “cold blowing each other”. whiskey. tango. foxtrot.

  16. Clankie

    For fortheturnstiles: mang.

    For everybody else: in case you have forgotten how Spartacus ends (this is just because of that terrible new cable show, isn’t it?) here is this bit from the crazy website in question:

    “However, the loyalty of his friends is so great that each of them stands forward in succession, shouting “I am Spartacus!” until the shouts dissolve into a cacophony of thousands of former slaves each insisting “I am Spartacus!” Bewildered and still not knowing which of them is Spartacus, but impressed by the loyalty he inspires in his army, the Roman general has all of the slaves crucified in a miles-long display alongside the Appian Way leading back to Rome.”

    So, you heard ‘em. Let’s start nailin’ up the leaders of the Tea Party movement.

  17. Prommie

    The redhead, she is insane, completely insane, and there’s a reason they are also called “the bitterz,” and angry too, but also, also, she is obviously so very inordinately proud of what she perceives as her “hotness.” This is the kind, wonketters, that can make for a memorable, though also instantly and deeply regretted, sexual experience. It will be over-enthusiastic, over-acted, over-dramatic; there will be inane efforts to project “sultriness,” awkward vocalizations, excessive thrashing about that actually distracts, rather than being pleasing in any way, and, involuntary queefing, this will happen at some point. Scary, really, but something to experience, once.

  18. This Cat

    Hard to have a movement where the raison d’etre is: I don’t have to listen to anyone!
    Fricken French

  19. Way Cool Larry

    [re=521644]Papas got a brand new teabag[/re]: dang– that was my exact read of it too. I figured it was some sort of weird new conservative perversion.

  20. JMP

    Hm, maybe the Teabaggers are just trying to follow the modern Bard’s advice of “Don’t follow leaders; watch the parking meeters.” So they go to a protest with no leader because the talking heads on Fox News told them to.

  21. Way Cool Larry

    first one’s definitely well-endowed, but not sure why she needs to thrust her chest out like that– some subtlety might help

  22. JMP

    [re=521625]dijetlo[/re]: From my memory, Glenn was the first Foxer to start promoting the teabaggings on-air; but I could have the order wrong. Armey came in after Fox, I think.

    [re=521650]Prommie[/re]: I don’t know about that; from my experience, both large-chested and conservative women are likely to act like slabs who just lie back and let the man do all the work, and this woman’s both.

  23. AnnieGetYourFun

    Wow, just that single image there has convinced me to change my hair color to brunette and to NEVER WEAR EYELINER AGAIN.

  24. Prommie

    [re=521682]JMP[/re]: Not this one, the thinks she is teh hot, and she will scrape your cock raw with her teeth and then awkwardly and violently hump you while mouthing bizarre efforts at sexy talk. Its there in the eyes, the hair, the eyeliner, the horribly displayed cleavage.

    It is fascinating to watch someone who is really bad at something do their thing, completely oblivious about how bad they are and thinking that they are great at it.

  25. JooJoo Bee

    Lets all get together and nominate Teabag Queenie for a spot on “What Not to Wear.”

  26. Mrs Bitch

    Hey all you guys being judgmental about Big Red up top there! Back off. She doesn’t need any of you. She’s got her big metal dildo right next to her. Her big metal, black dildo. Oh, my. Lots of Freudian goodness there.

  27. tootsieroll

    I think Queenie up there doesn’t quite understand which tea bagging party she’s leading…

  28. Prommie

    [re=521719]Mrs Bitch[/re]: Thats her fuck garden she is standing in, oh yes, and in her hot tub, she is the vixen sex-kitten seductress, oh yes she is.

  29. Canuckledragger

    When did Nancy Grace go red?

    I woulda pegged her for a “better dead than” type.

    But unlike a certain Toobin, I have no desire to peg her at all.

  30. elburrito

    The Clintons should leave America’s Patriots alone and focus on our real enemies. Like whoever gave her that shitty Ronald McDonald dye-job.

  31. arewethereyet

    You know i’m ok with folks voiceing and venting. i had my time in the sixties, for christsakes, with hoffman and rubin and all, but this is pathetic.

  32. Mad Brahms

    Wait wait can we get a link to St. Palin of facebook denouncing these people? Because it would be nifty!

  33. BeWoot

    Finally, YouTube vids at a length I can bear!

    Pending subsequent nominations (will there be updates?!!) I’m going with the thick chick. She speaks with real conviction.

    But I would urge her to heed the advice of Limeylizzie: A cheap bra is a poor investment and support is key.

  34. PsycGirl

    [re=521632]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: If that woman is 30 years old, I’d like to find out what she did to get into this shape so that I and every woman on earth can avoid it.

  35. Starrigavan

    Red needs a serious conditioning treatment and a serious bra. But the only honest one here is the Santa video. Santa’s a corporate stooge who perverts a simple religious holiday into an orgy of consumption. And the Tea Party (TM) is a corporate stooge that bilks money out of white, disaffected rednecks. Santa isn’t just the Tea Party Leader, he is the Tea Party.

  36. Extemporanus

    [re=521597]WarAndG[/re]: Then you probably don’t wanna see a terrifying photo of the elusive
    Snatchsquatch, either.

    [NSFW...or bed!]

    [re=521605]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Hard to tell in the aforementioned b&w photo whether the carpeting matches it or not, but one thing’s clear — it’s wall-to-fucking-wall!

  37. Limeylizzie

    [re=521682]JMP[/re]: Hey, I resent that slam at us big titted gals, I am a veritable party in the sack, I’ll have you know. I am also betting that OUR fearless leader ,Ms Pelosi, she of the awesome boobs for an old broad , is also a big fan of the rumpy-pumpy.

  38. Jennasaurus Rex

    Man, that lady would be so awesome if she wasn’t a teabagger. That look only works if you’re super drug-ravaged from back in the day and have awesome stories to tell about boning everyone in band X or whatever and wander around inviting random people to get high with you in your shitty cat-infested apartment.

  39. teebob2000

    [re=521594]The Huffington Pogue[/re]: No – the furry would be the Tea Party Daycare Center director.

  40. teebob2000

    [re=521622]What Fresh Hell is This?: Trig: “I am the tea party leader.”[/re]

    “Uh am duh tea par’y leaduh. Yeth.”

    /fixed

  41. teebob2000

    [re=521715]Prommie[/re]: I think that’s it. It would end up a long, unpleasant session of unintentional smother play.

  42. JMP

    [re=521841]Limeylizzie[/re]: Now, “in general” ≠ “always”; it’s just a tendency.

  43. Rusty Shackleford

    [re=521601]Aloysius[/re]: Seriously, WTF happened to KG (she of the self-described bangin’ bod)???!!!

  44. Flanders

    [re=521735]Prommie[/re]: The scary thing is that she is probably somebody’s mother.

  45. EdFlinstone

    [re=521820]Extemporanus[/re]: Well that answered the furry question. Sweet Jeebus I may never look at another cooter again.

  46. skoal rebel

    i know that second guy and he ain’t that good at teabaggin can’t even keep a full chaw pouch in his mouth for too long wont even chew on anything that isnt cherry flavored but cant at all any more since hussen obama tok away the flavored dips bullshit

  47. Oldskool

    [re=521997]taylormattd[/re]: It’s in the rulebook: “Any boob covered by anything can be considered hinged.”

  48. Neilist

    You Wonkie LIE-Bruals make fun of guns all you want.

    But I bet that you’d be SQUEALING for a 9mm high cap semi-auto if that fat redheaded sow trapped you between a gin & tonic and a Virginia Slims Menthol at your favorite bar on a Saturday night . . . .

    :::Shudder:::

  49. CaliforniaMike

    The red-haired ‘bot and Santa are the first couple of tea parties, and the doof in the middle filmed their mating rituals, which involved American cheese, barbed wire and Rush Limbaugh feeding them Oxycontin (“One for you, two for me, one for you, three for me …”).

  50. Smoke Filled Roommate

    I’m suprised the first chick didn’t have Stevie Nicks playing in the background.

  51. Oldskool

    [re=522022]Neilist[/re]: Why do you mention guns in every post? You think they’re scary? I bet you don’t load your own ammo or cast your own bullets, do ya? Pussy.

  52. AnSnarkist

    So… that’s what happened to Ziggy Stardust. I always thought that he was a Rock & Roll suicide.

  53. PickneyPinchback

    So are these like nominations and then they vote for who will be their leader? Cause if so I’d love for any of these geniuses to become their national spokescreep.

  54. BerkeleyFarm

    [re=521787]PsycGirl[/re]: She certainly demonstrates the importance of consistently wearing *good* foundation garments.

    (I’m old enough to be her mother and my bewbs are in *much* better shape. I suspect she was a “free [braless] spirit” in her yoot.)

  55. GreenHalo

    [re=522062]Oldskool[/re]: “cast your own bullets”

    The first and second sentences have merit, but whaa? Why not skip the middleman and grease your barrels with molten fucking lead? Copper jackets are your friend. So are hitting the target and not hitting anything else. You must contemplate.

    I’m so hard I have muscles in my shit: I harvest my own guano and grind my own charcoal. Hammering out my own primers with unstable WWI-era low explosives and jeweler’s tools is a definite bottleneck, but that’s why you have ten fingers and two eyes, right? Spare parts! Redundancy! Is it not written: one is none and two is one.

Comments are closed.