TIM BURTON'S MASTERPIECE  9:51 am March 1, 2010

Oh Jesus: Tea Party ‘Leader’ Discovered On YouTube

by Ken Layne


Heyyyy, this is just like that “I am Windows 7″ ad campaign … but completely horrifying! What the hell? Oh, that’s right, the Teabaggers’ personal lord and savior, St. Palin of Facebook, told them she wouldn’t be leader of this gang of white trash on twitter (after taking their $100,000). Why? Because every Teabagger is the leader of every Teabagger! They’re all just cold bowing to each other and saying “Namaste!”

What we mean is, Relax, that angry lady in the above-embedded video isn’t *really* the Teabag Queen. It’s this guy:

No wait, it’s this guy:


[Crazy website via Rumproast]

 
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{ 98 comments }

joezoo March 1, 2010 at 9:55 am

No, *I’m* Spartacus.

The Huffington Pogue March 1, 2010 at 9:55 am

I’m still waiting to see a furry with a sign that reads, “I am the Tea Party leader.”

lochnessmonster March 1, 2010 at 9:56 am

All I can say is…Yikes!

WarAndG March 1, 2010 at 9:59 am

Big foot with boobs? Will not push play. Ever.

bureaucrap March 1, 2010 at 9:59 am

I thought skoalrebel was the tea party leader. Wait, no, that was the chaw party.

proudgrampa March 1, 2010 at 9:59 am

Jebus. The redhead with the cleavage is truly frightening!

Aloysius March 1, 2010 at 10:01 am

Kathy Griffin has really let herself go.

pub_option March 1, 2010 at 10:01 am

Elvira, mistress of the Tea Party?

Buzz Feedback March 1, 2010 at 10:02 am

Never trust a woman with bangs.

Ducksworthy March 1, 2010 at 10:02 am

Whoa Dat momma got some fine flaccid dugs she mus be da momma of all teabaggers

mookworthjwilson March 1, 2010 at 10:02 am

[re=521597]WarAndG[/re]: [re=521599]proudgrampa[/re]: I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes…hahahah…ew…

JMP March 1, 2010 at 10:04 am

Of course no one wants to admit to being the teabaggers’ leader; they’re far too insane for anyone with an ounce of sense to claim them. Hell, even man who actually did start the whole thing, Glenn Beck, has tried to distance himself from the movement; and he’s completely batshit insane.

Too bad, high profile wignuts. You should have realized that the monster always ends up turning on its creator, who must pay for the sin of making the beast in the first place. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoistByHisOwnPetard
Oh well, I have no sympathy for you.

CthuNHu March 1, 2010 at 10:04 am

Spartacus meets The Aristocrats.

ForTheTurnstiles March 1, 2010 at 10:08 am

For he is not, *I* am the stallion…

One: I can drink.
Two: I get groomed.
Three: I go for a walk.
I *am* the stallion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fITm3ruL9bg

Darkness March 1, 2010 at 10:08 am

Well, she does have the tea party creamers built right in there.

Redhead March 1, 2010 at 10:09 am

“They’re all just cold bowing to each other and saying “Namaste!”” Wait, you mean they’re really from… my god the boobs! They’re blinding!
Sorry, got distracted for a minute. So, Wonkett, are you saying these teabaggers are really Darma or the Others or something? Is that the surprise ending on Lost?

Oh and what’s up with Santa at the bottom? Isn’t a wise old man redistributing a bunch of toys as he sees fit kind of a communist/socialist/facist/nazi idea?

Voyou Charmant March 1, 2010 at 10:10 am

Best opportunity for parody…EVER.

GET TO IT!

Guppy06 March 1, 2010 at 10:14 am

So… just post a ten-second clip of someone or something saying “I’m the Grand Teabagger Poobah?”

As the kids say, “Oh, exploitable!”

germansteel March 1, 2010 at 10:14 am

At long last, even I can discern a pattern – a theme, if you will – to the Teabagger phenomenom.

Guppy06 March 1, 2010 at 10:15 am

Looking at that first one…

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself

comicbookguy March 1, 2010 at 10:16 am

Time to bring out the gimp.

Terry March 1, 2010 at 10:16 am

That first woman needs to discover a better bra and a MUCH better hair dresser.

davesnothere March 1, 2010 at 10:17 am

[re=521603]Buzz Feedback[/re]: And the corollary: always bang a woman with trusts. Or always wear your truss, or something, I fergits. Teabag on!

freakishlystrong March 1, 2010 at 10:19 am

How does this help their reputation for being ultra-right batshits?

What Fresh Hell is This? March 1, 2010 at 10:19 am

If I had any technological capability, it would be like the awful ads with the talking babies:

Trig: “I am the tea party leader.”

dijetlo March 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

[re=521606]JMP[/re]: I thought the Rupert and the Dick Army were the creators of the Teabagger legions? Glenn Beck and The SnowBilly Grifter are more akin to toothless, one eyed camp followers who swell the ranks with stirring oratory.

Limeylizzie March 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

As another woman of a certain age, with a very healthy set of bosoms, I reach out to that creature and suggest she get a professional fitting , she is easily a 40DD and very, very droopy…support is key! A new hairdresser and some therapy wouldn’t hurt either.

bago March 1, 2010 at 10:23 am

After a good teabagging, I like to clean my beard with Kleenex brand tissues!

This Cat March 1, 2010 at 10:23 am

I never trusted Santa, creepy old elf.

Long Form Def Certificate March 1, 2010 at 10:24 am

I just read yesterday that the Patient Zero of Tea-bagging is some 30 years old Washington State resident, Western Washington grad (means she likes teh gweeg), & instructor in basic math for adult learner (meaning, GED candidates). Sounds like she should be an Obama voter, & in fact, her fiance is, just as her parents were Clintonistas in the 90s, but old girl just has to be different.

madtowngooner March 1, 2010 at 10:34 am

Red head gurl really puts the “Bags” in Tea Bagger, doesn’t she?

Papas got a brand new teabag March 1, 2010 at 10:35 am

whiskey tango foxtrot is a “cold blowing”? most blowies i’ve had were very warm.

TGY March 1, 2010 at 10:36 am

“I thought we had agreed there’d be no leader, right? Right! So everybody do what I say.”

Papas got a brand new teabag March 1, 2010 at 10:37 am

gosh i don’t know whiskey tango foxtrot is wrong with me. i read that last sentence as “cold blowing each other”. whiskey. tango. foxtrot.

Clankie March 1, 2010 at 10:40 am

For fortheturnstiles: mang.

For everybody else: in case you have forgotten how Spartacus ends (this is just because of that terrible new cable show, isn’t it?) here is this bit from the crazy website in question:

“However, the loyalty of his friends is so great that each of them stands forward in succession, shouting “I am Spartacus!” until the shouts dissolve into a cacophony of thousands of former slaves each insisting “I am Spartacus!” Bewildered and still not knowing which of them is Spartacus, but impressed by the loyalty he inspires in his army, the Roman general has all of the slaves crucified in a miles-long display alongside the Appian Way leading back to Rome.”

So, you heard ‘em. Let’s start nailin’ up the leaders of the Tea Party movement.

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 10:41 am

The redhead, she is insane, completely insane, and there’s a reason they are also called “the bitterz,” and angry too, but also, also, she is obviously so very inordinately proud of what she perceives as her “hotness.” This is the kind, wonketters, that can make for a memorable, though also instantly and deeply regretted, sexual experience. It will be over-enthusiastic, over-acted, over-dramatic; there will be inane efforts to project “sultriness,” awkward vocalizations, excessive thrashing about that actually distracts, rather than being pleasing in any way, and, involuntary queefing, this will happen at some point. Scary, really, but something to experience, once.

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 10:42 am

does not need moar boobz

This Cat March 1, 2010 at 10:42 am

Hard to have a movement where the raison d’etre is: I don’t have to listen to anyone!
Fricken French

Way Cool Larry March 1, 2010 at 10:43 am

[re=521644]Papas got a brand new teabag[/re]: dang– that was my exact read of it too. I figured it was some sort of weird new conservative perversion.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 10:43 am

Hm, maybe the Teabaggers are just trying to follow the modern Bard’s advice of “Don’t follow leaders; watch the parking meeters.” So they go to a protest with no leader because the talking heads on Fox News told them to.

Way Cool Larry March 1, 2010 at 10:45 am

first one’s definitely well-endowed, but not sure why she needs to thrust her chest out like that– some subtlety might help

plowman March 1, 2010 at 10:47 am

That bitch craaaaazyyy, I’d have to pretty damn drunk to take a run at her.

PsycGirl March 1, 2010 at 10:53 am

“I am the herder of cats” Fixed.

whiskey tango foxtrot March 1, 2010 at 10:59 am

Where’s my webcam? And where’s my klan outfit???

imissopus March 1, 2010 at 11:06 am

Needs moar white hoods.

Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov) March 1, 2010 at 11:10 am

YOU ARE MY VP PICK FOR 2011!!!11!!! ALSO!!

-SP

JMP March 1, 2010 at 11:11 am

[re=521625]dijetlo[/re]: From my memory, Glenn was the first Foxer to start promoting the teabaggings on-air; but I could have the order wrong. Armey came in after Fox, I think.

[re=521650]Prommie[/re]: I don’t know about that; from my experience, both large-chested and conservative women are likely to act like slabs who just lie back and let the man do all the work, and this woman’s both.

Come here a minute March 1, 2010 at 11:11 am

Just GTFO, please!

AnnieGetYourFun March 1, 2010 at 11:31 am

Wow, just that single image there has convinced me to change my hair color to brunette and to NEVER WEAR EYELINER AGAIN.

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 11:44 am

[re=521682]JMP[/re]: Not this one, the thinks she is teh hot, and she will scrape your cock raw with her teeth and then awkwardly and violently hump you while mouthing bizarre efforts at sexy talk. Its there in the eyes, the hair, the eyeliner, the horribly displayed cleavage.

It is fascinating to watch someone who is really bad at something do their thing, completely oblivious about how bad they are and thinking that they are great at it.

JooJoo Bee March 1, 2010 at 11:46 am

Lets all get together and nominate Teabag Queenie for a spot on “What Not to Wear.”

Mrs Bitch March 1, 2010 at 11:46 am

Hey all you guys being judgmental about Big Red up top there! Back off. She doesn’t need any of you. She’s got her big metal dildo right next to her. Her big metal, black dildo. Oh, my. Lots of Freudian goodness there.

S.Luggo March 1, 2010 at 11:53 am

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”

Jim89048 March 1, 2010 at 11:54 am

Wait, is that Naomi or Wynona Judd in the first one?

tootsieroll March 1, 2010 at 11:55 am

I think Queenie up there doesn’t quite understand which tea bagging party she’s leading…

Prommie March 1, 2010 at 12:00 pm

[re=521719]Mrs Bitch[/re]: Thats her fuck garden she is standing in, oh yes, and in her hot tub, she is the vixen sex-kitten seductress, oh yes she is.

4tehlulz March 1, 2010 at 12:00 pm

TITS OR GT…

Actually, just GTFO

Canuckledragger March 1, 2010 at 12:03 pm

When did Nancy Grace go red?

I woulda pegged her for a “better dead than” type.

But unlike a certain Toobin, I have no desire to peg her at all.

elburrito March 1, 2010 at 12:07 pm

The Clintons should leave America’s Patriots alone and focus on our real enemies. Like whoever gave her that shitty Ronald McDonald dye-job.

elburrito March 1, 2010 at 12:08 pm

[re=521682]JMP[/re]: So true!

arewethereyet March 1, 2010 at 12:17 pm

You know i’m ok with folks voiceing and venting. i had my time in the sixties, for christsakes, with hoffman and rubin and all, but this is pathetic.

Mad Brahms March 1, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Wait wait can we get a link to St. Palin of facebook denouncing these people? Because it would be nifty!

BeWoot March 1, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Finally, YouTube vids at a length I can bear!

Pending subsequent nominations (will there be updates?!!) I’m going with the thick chick. She speaks with real conviction.

But I would urge her to heed the advice of Limeylizzie: A cheap bra is a poor investment and support is key.

PsycGirl March 1, 2010 at 12:35 pm

[re=521632]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: If that woman is 30 years old, I’d like to find out what she did to get into this shape so that I and every woman on earth can avoid it.

Scarab March 1, 2010 at 12:38 pm

T bags? No way. Double D bags at the most.

Starrigavan March 1, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Red needs a serious conditioning treatment and a serious bra. But the only honest one here is the Santa video. Santa’s a corporate stooge who perverts a simple religious holiday into an orgy of consumption. And the Tea Party (TM) is a corporate stooge that bilks money out of white, disaffected rednecks. Santa isn’t just the Tea Party Leader, he is the Tea Party.

Extemporanus March 1, 2010 at 1:08 pm

[re=521597]WarAndG[/re]: Then you probably don’t wanna see a terrifying photo of the elusive
Snatchsquatch, either.

[NSFW...or bed!]

[re=521605]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Hard to tell in the aforementioned b&w photo whether the carpeting matches it or not, but one thing’s clear — it’s wall-to-fucking-wall!

Oldskool March 1, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Bigboobs would get my vote if she unhinged her girls.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 1, 2010 at 1:32 pm

In fairness, the Windows 7 ads were pretty horrifying too. Also.

Limeylizzie March 1, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=521682]JMP[/re]: Hey, I resent that slam at us big titted gals, I am a veritable party in the sack, I’ll have you know. I am also betting that OUR fearless leader ,Ms Pelosi, she of the awesome boobs for an old broad , is also a big fan of the rumpy-pumpy.

Jennasaurus Rex March 1, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Man, that lady would be so awesome if she wasn’t a teabagger. That look only works if you’re super drug-ravaged from back in the day and have awesome stories to tell about boning everyone in band X or whatever and wander around inviting random people to get high with you in your shitty cat-infested apartment.

teebob2000 March 1, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=521594]The Huffington Pogue[/re]: No – the furry would be the Tea Party Daycare Center director.

teebob2000 March 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm

[re=521622]What Fresh Hell is This?: Trig: “I am the tea party leader.”[/re]

“Uh am duh tea par’y leaduh. Yeth.”

/fixed

teebob2000 March 1, 2010 at 1:55 pm

[re=521715]Prommie[/re]: I think that’s it. It would end up a long, unpleasant session of unintentional smother play.

bitchincamaro March 1, 2010 at 2:10 pm

All I saw was funbags, before I shot my monitor.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 2:12 pm

[re=521841]Limeylizzie[/re]: Now, “in general” ≠ “always”; it’s just a tendency.

plowman March 1, 2010 at 2:44 pm

[re=521893]bitchincamaro[/re]: Don’t use a Desert Eagle!

Rusty Shackleford March 1, 2010 at 2:51 pm

[re=521601]Aloysius[/re]: Seriously, WTF happened to KG (she of the self-described bangin’ bod)???!!!

Flanders March 1, 2010 at 2:57 pm

[re=521735]Prommie[/re]: The scary thing is that she is probably somebody’s mother.

EdFlinstone March 1, 2010 at 3:00 pm

[re=521820]Extemporanus[/re]: Well that answered the furry question. Sweet Jeebus I may never look at another cooter again.

a_pink_poodle March 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=521593]joezoo[/re]: No IIIIII’M SPARTACUS!

taylormattd March 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=521830]Oldskool[/re]: They are hinged? Jesus, how can you tell.

skoal rebel March 1, 2010 at 3:06 pm

i know that second guy and he ain’t that good at teabaggin can’t even keep a full chaw pouch in his mouth for too long wont even chew on anything that isnt cherry flavored but cant at all any more since hussen obama tok away the flavored dips bullshit

Oldskool March 1, 2010 at 3:10 pm

[re=521997]taylormattd[/re]: It’s in the rulebook: “Any boob covered by anything can be considered hinged.”

Neilist March 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm

You Wonkie LIE-Bruals make fun of guns all you want.

But I bet that you’d be SQUEALING for a 9mm high cap semi-auto if that fat redheaded sow trapped you between a gin & tonic and a Virginia Slims Menthol at your favorite bar on a Saturday night . . . .

:::Shudder:::

CaliforniaMike March 1, 2010 at 3:43 pm

The red-haired ‘bot and Santa are the first couple of tea parties, and the doof in the middle filmed their mating rituals, which involved American cheese, barbed wire and Rush Limbaugh feeding them Oxycontin (“One for you, two for me, one for you, three for me …”).

Smoke Filled Roommate March 1, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I’m suprised the first chick didn’t have Stevie Nicks playing in the background.

Oldskool March 1, 2010 at 3:55 pm

[re=522022]Neilist[/re]: Why do you mention guns in every post? You think they’re scary? I bet you don’t load your own ammo or cast your own bullets, do ya? Pussy.

BobTheBuilder March 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm

The redhead is Teat Party Leader.

Lazy Media March 1, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Man, Tina Louise has really let herself go.

Extemporanus March 1, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=522046]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Here’s another nice video clip featuring the “red-haired ‘bot” AND the governor of California.

canadasteve March 1, 2010 at 5:35 pm

No teabagger would ever say ‘Namaste’. They would never speak Mexican.

AnSnarkist March 1, 2010 at 7:04 pm

So… that’s what happened to Ziggy Stardust. I always thought that he was a Rock & Roll suicide.

PickneyPinchback March 1, 2010 at 7:54 pm

So are these like nominations and then they vote for who will be their leader? Cause if so I’d love for any of these geniuses to become their national spokescreep.

BerkeleyFarm March 1, 2010 at 8:13 pm

[re=521787]PsycGirl[/re]: She certainly demonstrates the importance of consistently wearing *good* foundation garments.

(I’m old enough to be her mother and my bewbs are in *much* better shape. I suspect she was a “free [braless] spirit” in her yoot.)

lulzmonger March 2, 2010 at 2:54 am

I wouldn’t hit it.

AKAM80TheWolf March 2, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Someone needs to take the tap-teaser away from the redhead. TAP TAP TAP.

GreenHalo July 25, 2010 at 6:49 am

[re=522062]Oldskool[/re]: “cast your own bullets”

The first and second sentences have merit, but whaa? Why not skip the middleman and grease your barrels with molten fucking lead? Copper jackets are your friend. So are hitting the target and not hitting anything else. You must contemplate.

I’m so hard I have muscles in my shit: I harvest my own guano and grind my own charcoal. Hammering out my own primers with unstable WWI-era low explosives and jeweler’s tools is a definite bottleneck, but that’s why you have ten fingers and two eyes, right? Spare parts! Redundancy! Is it not written: one is none and two is one.

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