
It’s that special time a year, about six weeks from now, when winter will supposedly be “over,” and maybe the economy or at least the ruined frozen earth will begin to show a few “green shoots” and that means it’s time to celebrate the Spring Equinox, commonly known to American Christians as “Easter” or “Eostre” or “Ostera,” the rabbit-whore-goddess of fertility. Gamble in the White House Lottery and you, too, could maybe attend the famous Chinese “Egg Roll” on the Executive Mansion Lawn! Kids required, so borrow/steal one if necessary.
To take part in this sanctioned lottery, go here and register and for Oesther’s sake do it quickly, as the deadline is Sunday night. If you win, you must send Wonkette all your pictures, okay it’s a deal! Hoppy Easter, everyone. [White House Egg Roll Lottery]







{ 27 comments }
Am I incredibly hopped up on goofballs or is that rabbit wearing a bullet proof vest?
Here cums Peter CottonFAIL, lookin’ for a piece of tail…
Mitch McConnell demands that the Easter Egg Roll be bipartisan. In addition to children, there must be pedophiles.
What is that rabbit going to do with Conan O’Brien, and why does he have his fingers crossed behind his back? Whatever it is, it’s going to happen an hour later than Conan expected.
Green shoots? Hell, GREEN BALLOONS!
Gamble in the lottery to gambol on the lawn.
Works for me.
Why the hell does that bunny have a bullet proof vest on?
Our son is 23 but has autism, which makes him beautiful and in a just world would mean we qualify automatically.
This photo is just more evidence of the Obama administration’s decadent Donnie-Darkoization of American society.
Hoboeggs
I hope the Salahis win a ticket. They want it so bad.
You don’t have to steal a child; there are many available for rent. Just ask Rush Limbaugh, he can set you up with some nice young Dominican boys (and a pail of black-market Viagra, too).
It’s like Donnie Darko meets the West Wing.
Is that Waxman in the vest?
“The Easter Egg Roll will promote healthy and active living and is designed for children 12 years of age and under.” So Sally Quinn can’t participate?
Nice alt-text, Ken.
Is that man in the suit going to have furry sex with that giant rabbit?
[re=520756]S.Luggo[/re]: Children AND pedophiles? That makes for an awful lot of Republicans.
[re=520799]norbizness[/re]: that’s hilarious for the 15 people whoever saw that movie
It’s olestra. One of the side effects is anal leakage.
Can I get in with the golden ticket I just got when I opened this chocolate bar?
The term “Easter Egg Roll” always makes me think of a Chinese restaurant staple, covered in pastel sprinkles.
What ever happened to the 50 states easter egg thing we used to make fun of each year?
[re=520799]norbizness[/re]: I always thought that movie could use more Sorkin style walk-n-talks.
[re=521109]Mad Brahms[/re]: only if everyone had clear tunnels coming out of their chests.
[re=520967]PsycGirl[/re]:
That sounds at once delightful and revolting. I’ll take one.
and what do they need such good eyesight for anyway???
bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies…
Need a child? Do like Madonna did and adopt/purchase one from Brazil.
Comments on this entry are closed.