Retiring, uneducated senator Jim Bunning — truly an electoral aberration, even by our shitty system’s standards — has been holding up an extension of unemployment and COBRA benefits since last night, under whatever country-destroying Senate rule our beloved minority party discovered while recently picking its anus. Just read about this fucking baby, here, sitting in the back of the Senate, bitching about how he had to miss his basketball game, and taking his anger out on America’s 100% unemployed population. If he has a principled concern, no one will care, because who really wants to negotiate with nasty Jim Bunning about anything? Besides, the GOP has a better spokesman for its “big concerns” over these extensions: Nevada Rep. Dean Heller. Dean Heller is concerned about hobos. No, wait: Dean Heller is furious and concerned about hobos, and The Hobo Problem.
Heller said the current economic downturn and policies may bring back the hobos of the Great Depression, people who wandered the country taking odd jobs. He said a study found that people who are out of work longer than two years have only a 50 percent chance of getting back into the workforce. “I believe there should be a federal safety net,” Heller said, but he questioned the wisdom of extending unemployment benefits yet again to a total of 24 months, which Congress is doing. “Is the government now creating hobos?” he asked.
There are any number of reasons for the growing Hobozation of America. First: no one has any money in America. Second: what the first reason said.
The government should directly create hobos, though — in Hobo Factories! Two per congressional district! The unemployed would get factory jobs, creating more hobos. Eventually what would happen is Profits, &c.
(Now: some of the more advanced hobos would, of course, become self-aware and kill the “real” humans nationwide. But that would be years down the road, and what matters now is putting Americans back to work.)