DAILY BRIEFING  7:49 am February 26, 2010

New York Is Cold, But I Like Where I’m Living

by Ken Layne

  • Oh hey, that “Health Care Summit” was a failure, because Republicans are assholes and the Democrats are spineless. But at least Obama yelled at the crazy old man, John McCain. [Washington Post/BBC]
  • Does the NYT have some kind of secret magic information? “Here is a basic fact: If the House Democrats voted tomorrow to approve the Senate bill, health care reform would become the law of the land.” [New York Times]
  • George W. Bush hadn’t seen that awful old monster Dick Cheney since forever, but Bush was in DC for something yesterday and dropped by to visit Cheney’s corpse, which then jumped up from the table and tried to kill everybody, again. [Mediaite]
  • Massive explosions all over Kabul. Dead people everywhere. Afghanistan: It’s our own Vietnam, but we don’t even have to care about it! [BBC/CNN]
  • New York should get about 16 inches of new snow today. It’s so cold, we saw a squirrel gnawing off its own nuts in Central Park, to kill itself, by bleeding to death. [Bloomberg]
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Hola wonkerados.

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plowman February 26, 2010 at 7:55 am

And you had hopes for the the ‘Health Care Summit’? Other than Hopey slapping down a few folks it could’ve been done with press-release statements. It’s a shame that squirrel wasn’t there, now THAT would be television!

V572625694 February 26, 2010 at 7:57 am

Well sure the Dems have enough votes to pass it, but that wouldn’t be bipartisan. And that’s much more important than doing what the majority of voters’ elected representatives want done. There still might be one single dipshit Paultard or Republan in the House or the Senate who doesn’t get exactly what he wants out of this, so Obama is a failure, a loser, should resign, or kiss Glenn Beck’s fat, pasty ass.

Potater February 26, 2010 at 7:59 am

Can we outlaw Congress already? I’m sure Republicans could get the votes.

Serolf Divad February 26, 2010 at 8:00 am

Let me be the first to say: what we saw yesterday was the old Obama, the guy we voted for, the professor, the wiz kid, the guy who knew his facts and could argue opponents under a table.

But why did we have to wait for so long? Why did the Dems hold him back all these months like Ultraman waiting until he’s bloody and beaten and almost surely defeated before doing that “T” thing with his hands and shooting the Moebious beam that finally kills the bad monster?

This strategy may win the battle, but I fear Dems might pay dearly in the polls in 2010 for their squabbling and seeming incompetence ’till now.

BlueStateLibtard February 26, 2010 at 8:11 am

It’s not like Obama had a mandate when the people kicked out the Repubatards and voted him in. The people actually wanted to vote for McCrazy/Palin they just got the levers mixed up in the voting booth–blame that Repub-owned company that makes voting booths. This is why before anything gets done, we must make sure every little Repub senator representing 3,000 people and 3 million cows gets to shoot everything down.

freakishlystrong February 26, 2010 at 8:12 am

[re=520510]V572625694[/re]: Today, we are all bipartisan patriots. Without healthcare reform.

Potater February 26, 2010 at 8:17 am

[re=520513]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: A thousand cows for every man? Oh baby, that’s a Republican’s wet dream.

FMA February 26, 2010 at 8:36 am

[re=520516]Potater[/re]: Correction: That’s Rick Santorum’s wet dream.

Limeylizzie February 26, 2010 at 8:37 am

Here in Harlem we are having a sad day, the combo of beloved , stylish and corrupt Charlie Rangel getting busted , 18 inches of snow and the trees in the park attacking people .

plowman February 26, 2010 at 8:37 am

[re=520513]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Of course the Dems, when in the minority, wouldn’t dream of presenting obstacles to the majority’s legislation, appointments, etc…

Potater February 26, 2010 at 8:42 am

[re=520520]FMA[/re]: See, I could have gotten by imagining Aaron Schock having a wet dream, but NOOOOOOOOOO~ You had to make me think of ole fecal-cum-blood.

Lazy Media February 26, 2010 at 8:43 am

Actually it’s EXACTLY like Vietnam, before the massive escalation in ’65. Most of the ’60s protesters never really cared about the Vietnamese, they just a: didn’t want their or their friends’ mandatory army service to involve getting shot at or b: wanted to overthrow the entire society and bitching about Vietnam was a good excuse.

You want people to raise hell about foreigners getting killed, just send ‘em a draft notice.

Larry Fine February 26, 2010 at 8:44 am

First it was the Orca whale taking revenge, now it is the trees attacking humanity. Mother Earth is mad as hell. Do we stand a chance of survival?

TGY February 26, 2010 at 8:59 am

Giving snowfall in inches AND centimeters. Why does Bloomberg hate America?

And Afghanistan isn’t *nearly* Vietnam.

dijetlo February 26, 2010 at 9:00 am

[re=520512]Serolf Divad[/re]: Because that wouldn’t be entertaining. For dramatic tension to develop, the insectoid/lizard hybrid monsters (or the Republicans) need to whup on U-man (or O-man) a bit and that little red flashy thing on his chest needs to blink (the corollary being Rahm calling the Congressional Democratic Caucus “a pack of drooling retards”) at which point the hero can make make the “T” with his hands and shave their heads off with his Mobeus beam (or just hold a summit, in the case of the insectoid/lizard-hybrids Republicans, where they demonstrate on camera that they don’t have any idea of how to fix this problem).

eclecticbrotha February 26, 2010 at 9:03 am

According to the Drudgebots it was a stalemate, which means the GOP won because they got to sit at a square table and repeat their lies non-stop for 7 hours and accuse Obama of being an Uppity Kneegro every time he interrupted them to say they were full of shit.

FMA February 26, 2010 at 9:05 am

[re=520530]dijetlo[/re]: See, I went in a different direction. When I saw Walnuts, I thought, “Is this the health care summit or the new George Romero flick?”

HedonismBot February 26, 2010 at 9:06 am

Stupid squirrel. You can’t very well bleed to death when the cold freezes the wound shut.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 26, 2010 at 9:12 am

Why did Meghan McCain invite her grandpa to the healthcare summit?

doxastic February 26, 2010 at 9:16 am

The summit analysis is just soul-crushing. Dana Milbank was on NPR, proving once again that he is constitutionally incapable of processing the substance of whatever is being said, but jesus christ, he will tell you about tone and body language. For someone who wanted a gold star for “watching” the whole thing (otherwise known as doing his job), he seems to have kept the TV mostly muted.

And it wouldn’t be so awful if he were doing anything other than incredibly superficial communication analysis instead of whatever it is that he is qualified to comment upon. Deliberation? Described stupidly. Communication aesthetics? Reduced to idiocy. Professors? Fuck them!

I get a sense of what climate scientists feel whenever George Will decides to debunk global warming using evidence from his back yard and the oil industry. Listen asshole, I don’t come to your job and shit on your desk. Keep your communication theory off of my morning radio.

Sorry about the rant, but once again Milbank has managed to combine a bunch of things that I love together, and then made them all embarrassing and dumb. During my morning coffee.

JMP February 26, 2010 at 9:21 am

Sucks to be New York, I guess. Yesterday’s predicted and hyped Snowpocalypse 3D: The Return of Snow here was a total bust; the snow came down in blizzard conditions all day, but it was above 32 and everything melted as soon as it hit the ground. It finally started sticking late at night, but instead of the predicted eight or nine inches it was just three – sort of like with your average Republican’s dick.

Mr Blifil February 26, 2010 at 9:21 am

Republicans very self-satisfied, and Limbaugh is openly mocking Louise Slaughter for wearing her constituent’s teeth, for health care.

HopeyChangey February 26, 2010 at 9:24 am

Ya gotta love the guy in the comments about the logo who calls Obama a Marxist, Socialist, Muslim…at least Trig Palin has a valid excuse for people calling him a retard.

dijetlo February 26, 2010 at 9:30 am

[re=520532]FMA[/re]: Romero is no doubt a richer vein of allegory than a 1960s’ era Japanese childrens’ television show however applying the “brain eating zombie” meme to the Republican party just doesn’t seem right when one considers how empty their heads are. Calling a person of normal intelligence a retard is an insult. Calling a retard a retard is just mean. We’re wonketteers, we have standards…

JMP February 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

[re=520551]Mr Blifil[/re]: You’ve got to wonder about people whose reaction, upon hearing stories of human suffering brought on by our fucked-up health care system, is “ha ha, sucks to be you!”

Mr Blifil February 26, 2010 at 9:41 am

[re=520531]eclecticbrotha[/re]: Yeah, in Republican-land they view video documentation of 7 solid hours of asshole behavior counts as “good optics.” Meanwhile, where were the town-hall screamers, where was the term “Obamacare,” where were death panels? On these points alone Republicans reaped a giant bag-o-dicks-sized container of fail.

tootsieroll February 26, 2010 at 9:48 am

What frustrates me is the “the people don’t want this” meme. How come the media, progressives, etc don’t get the masses to speak out? How come we can’t outscream the stupids? How can they keep saying that like it’s fact?

We need something like the Verizon commercial where the creepy hotel clerk says, “oooh, you don’t want THAT socialist government health care plan!” and the camera pans to Obama with a couple of million behind him saying, “Um, oh yes we do.”

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 26, 2010 at 9:50 am

[re=520541]doxastic[/re]: Yea, I listened to that piece. The best part was Dana whining that he should get combat pay for being his usual insufferably twatish self.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 26, 2010 at 9:56 am

God love the BBC for this: “The US is the world’s richest nation and the only industrialised democracy that does not provide healthcare coverage to all its citizens.” Barry should mandate that all Republicans have this tattoed on their sloping foreheads.

Berkeley Bear February 26, 2010 at 10:23 am

[re=520531]eclecticbrotha[/re]: But the fact Drudgebots can only score it as a draw essentially confirms it is a win for the Dems. Remember how these same assbags kept claiming McCain won the debates with Obama, but Palin only “held her own” with Biden? That’s code for GOP got its ass kicked, and they know it.

At first, the GOP spammers were occupying CSPAN.org’s twitter feed trying to claim the GOP was bringing more substance to the table, but they were quickly reduced to all caps and eventually gave up. That’s a good sign for me.

The people who just want something to pass without fucking up their lives too much (ie most of them, who get the AP headline and not much more in their local paper) are hearing today that Lamar Alexander and every other GOP twat lied to them about premium increases. That’s good – in fact, it may be all that is needed to open some eyes. Now, if Harry Reid can just borrow Nancy’s balls for a little while and get the fixes passed through reconciliation, we can move on to more important shit like whether James Cameron will collect his Oscar in full Navi facepaint.

mercure February 26, 2010 at 10:27 am

[re=520522]plowman[/re]: Com’on, you’ve got better stuff that that, we know you do, just try. Dig deep down and I’m sure you can find something genuinely snarky and entertaining to say that doesn’t make you sound like a dull, plodding suburban insurance salesman completely out of his depth at a fancy dress party.

JMP February 26, 2010 at 10:34 am

[re=520522]plowman[/re]: Well, they were in the minority until 2006, and they didn’t present any obstacles to the majority’s legislation, appointments, etc; so yeah, guess they wouldn’t.

Diana Davies February 26, 2010 at 10:37 am

I went to teh Bloomberg to find the story about the poor little squirrel and there was nothing there, lyers.

proudgrampa February 26, 2010 at 10:42 am

[re=520534]HedonismBot[/re]: I think Ken was channeling Letterman this morning.

comicbookguy February 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

Look, I don’t want the healthy to have to pay for the sick. If the sick want their cancer meds, they can go out and get a job, put a little money away each month, until they save up enough for their next chemo treatment. Of course, the beauty of capitalism is that we the consumer can decide the price is too high, and simply opt not to buy. If enough of us take the bus, eventually car makers will build an affordable car. If enough of us decide to simply bleed out in the street, eventually insurance companies will lower their prices to attract our business. It’s called supply and demand, and it’s what makes our system work better than those socialist countries who treat everybody who gets sick like a bunch of pussies.

qwerty42 February 26, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=520512]Serolf Divad[/re]: “…seeming incompetence…”
seeming incompetence? I think they have demonstrated that their incompetence is the real thing.

tootsieroll February 26, 2010 at 11:59 am

[re=520645]comicbookguy[/re]: +1

I may need to borrow that.

DemmeFatale February 26, 2010 at 12:12 pm

[re=520645]comicbookguy[/re]: What you said. Exactly.

javelina February 26, 2010 at 12:29 pm

My favorite health-care summit line:

“All of us share the concerns when people are allegedly wronged in our health care system.” – Eric Cantor.

HungryMohican February 26, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Nice Leonard Cohen reference in the header!
Sincerely, A Friend

minnesotamark February 26, 2010 at 12:38 pm

HungryMohican, did you ever go clear?

Ken Layne February 26, 2010 at 1:58 pm

[re=520730]minnesotamark[/re]: Haha, a strange line from a strange time when Scientology was something the cooler hippies were into …..

GOPCrusher February 26, 2010 at 2:31 pm

[re=520576]tootsieroll[/re]: Repeat a lie enough times, it becomes the truth. Somewhere there is someone slowing dying of cancer because they can’t afford to get chemotherapy, thanking Boner that their tax money isn’t going to provide a brown person health care.

glamourdammerung February 26, 2010 at 3:48 pm

[re=520522]plowman[/re]: Concerned troll is concerned.

plowman February 26, 2010 at 9:34 pm

[re=520597]mercure[/re]: Insurance Professionals provide a valuable and needed service to wise people needing to protect assets, lives and health. Think of the children’s future, honey…

[re=520602]JMP[/re]: Bullshit. Remember John Bolton? How ’bout Miguel Estrada? Priscilla Owen?


And the boys
say they’re concerned
That they are
concerned with decisiveness

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