Just now, on Fox News, they were playing clips from Ronald Reagan’s 1961 comedy album, Why Medicine Is Not Freedom. This is what they were playing on Fox News, after Jonah Goldberg’s commentary. What fun we are having today. Let’s liveblog (part of!) this afternoon’s session of the very important Health Care Summit, which has already more or less melted most partisanship in America, and should produce a single-payer law by… well, whenever the next quorum finds itself on the Senate floor.
2:00 — Oh god they want to let Joe Biden introduce something later. TITS OUT!
2:00 to 2:03 — I WANNA TALK FIRST. (Obama: let us all calm down.) LEMME TALK FIRST. (Obama: We need to all be out of here by 4:15.) ME ME ME.
2:04 — Mike Enzi wants to talk about the doc fix… time for your editor to heat up leftover pasta. (WHAT HAVE WE GOTTEN OURSELVES INTO?)
2:07 — Enzi: When I was a shoe salesman, we didn’t have all these health care costs. What we had, then, was choice. You buy the women’s shoes or the men’s shoes, in any number of differing sizes. This is what we had. Let’s go back to that shoe store, Mr. President. Let’s go home.
2:09 — Obama: Thank you Mike Enzi that was great, you’re great. I’d respond but no. Tom Harkin?
2:10 — Harkin: Holy potatoes you guys, this farmer guy wrote me a letter yesterday. I read it! He is paying a full $10 million a month to insure his family. That’s $10 million thousand dollars a year!
2:14 — “Whenever I think of pools — this pool, that pool! — I think of segregation.” It makes a lot more sense in context, like “basic health care policy” context. We refer you to RedState.com for this context.
2:20 — It’s hard to follow this when each news channel keeps cutting out for Commentary in the middle of each important response. C’mon, cable. The only people watching this at all are nerds. Big stupid nerds, mostly bloggers. We don’t like entertainment.
2:22 — Here’s Rep. Dave Camp, arguing with Obama. WASHINGTON RUINS EVERYTHING. Obama: doing things on a state level leads to a race to the bottom, regulations-wise. Camp: BUT WASHINGTON RUINS EVERYTHING. Obama: new topic!
2:23 — Jay Rockefeller, an important person in this debate, is just starting to talk! What will he– CNN COMMERCIAL.
2:24 — Ha ha, Megyn Kelly’s show on Fox News is actually called “America Live.” All of America, on one channel.
2:25 — Kelly passes back to Obama who passes to Finland’s star player, Finland, assist from Charlie Rangel. Still 0-0. This MSNBC coverage is great, the way they made the health care summit into a bronze medal women’s hockey game.
2:26 — Wait… women are allowed to play hockey?
2:30 — Fine, CSPAN3, you win! We’ll watch your raw, commercial-less snoozy insurance death spiral.
2:34 — Marsha Blackburn is hot, for an old liar monster.
2:36 — Blackburn feels bad for Californians. If health care plans could be sold across state lines, Californians could buy them from Oregon! Or Pennsylvania! Or… South Dakota, where all of the insurance companies would move! And what about the Northern Marianas?
2:38 — Obama is explaining why he was against a mandate during the 2008 primaries. Because now it makes sense and he was wrong! He was dragged “kicking and screaming” to this conclusion. Feel his wrath.
2:40 — He explains what would happen to Jay Rockefeller’s son if he was hit by a bus, ha ha. Obviously Jay Rockefeller’s son would die immediately.
2:41 — Marsha Blackburn is now just rudely shouting at Obama to “FREE IT UP!” She wants him to drop a hot shit right now, on the table. For insurance.
2:42 — Obama turns the mic over to Biden! WITHIN SECONDS, JOE BIDEN: “I don’t know what the American people think.”
And now it’s Biden ranting about the deficit… and so ends Wonkette’s liveblogging of today’s health care summit! God, that’s enough. (Although still very interesting if you have still missed the debate over these points!)
Now, what else is in the news? Anything hilarious about penises? Let’s see…