- A killer whale at SeaWorld Orlando has claimed a third victim. [Orlando Sentinel]
- Huzzah, today is President Obama’s famous “health care summit,” in which Jeb Hensarling will be fed poisoned cucumber sandwiches by White House chef Cristeta Comerford, and all will be broadcast live in HD on C-SPANS’s Congressional Snuff Channel. [Washington Post]
- Paterson bombshell!!!!: His underqualified former-driver-turned-top-aide has now been suspended on allegations of girlfriend-beatin’. [AP]
- Gays can’t get married in Maryland, but they can get married somewhere else and be considered a married couple in Maryland, because that is what the Framers wanted when they wrote Ron Paul’s Constitution. [Baltimore Sun]
- WellPoint’s CEO stood up to mean old Henry Wax Man in a Congressional hearing, asserting that as the health care industry goes insurers are basically the impoverished step-cousins and not the rich uncles. [Reuters]
DAILY BRIEFING
February 25, 2010
Today Is All About Health Care Transparency
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{ 64 comments }
Wellpoint’s CEO: She lies.
Re: Paterson: That’s not a “bombshell”. That’s, uhh… remember those little black things you could light on fire when you were a kid and they would uncoil? Black snakes? Yeah, pretty much the lamest “firework” ever, and that’s what this Paterson story is.
What is John Boehner’s tanning booth setting this morning?
[re=519492]Katydid[/re]: All of those “profits” are, uhh, not actually profits, see? Mo’ money, mo’ problems, senator! And that’s why it’s so hard to be us. So many problems. Such is the cross we must bear to serve you, the consumer!
Killer Whale kills, kissing fish kiss, humming bird humms, republicans like little boys, these are not news stories. Let’s get w/ the new, you know man bites dog, republican sleeps with his wife and enojoys it! (while not imagining previously mentioned little boys)
[re=519494]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Burnt orange
So the orca is a searial killer?
I’m voting for Tilikum, the Killer Whale, for the Senate in 2010.
[re=519501]PsycGirl[/re]: Actually the second one, the dope who broke in after hours to swim and commune with the killer whales, doesn’t count. I remember that story because he was a finalist for the Darwin Awards that year.
[re=519495]Mad Brahms[/re]: Well if parts of this
Wellpoint shell company are Blue Cross “Not-for-profit”, then isn’t that soshalism. There you go, using those Saul Alinsky tactics again.
The former Vice President for Public Policy and External Affairs at WellPoint, Elizabeth Fowler, is currently the Senior Counsel to Max Baucus, the chairman of the Senate Finance Committee and leading opponent of the “public option” in healthcare reform.
Three victims? That’s nothing compared to the thousands who will die in the wake of Obama’s Fail Whale.
[re=519494]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Toasty umber.
[re=519495]Mad Brahms[/re]: Actually it’s pretty big because of the implication that Paterson and the State Police leaned on the girlfriend to drop the charges and she doesn’t show up for her court date.
Fuck Toad is on my teevee talking about a killer whale? does he know the “inside the aquarium” story. Let me guess a rouge Sperm whale is praising said Orcas actions, queue outraged Blues whales in 3.2. (whale sound); Fin whale will be giving statement at 9:00am UT (underwater time)? The true test will be how Belugas feel next November?
Why is Fuck Toad on my teevee?
Fuck the health care bill. Seriously, just fucking bury it. At this rate in three years we’ll have another Republican president who’ll just find a different way to kill us all anyway.
In Orca, his name translates to Hannibal Lecter.
[re=519509]Sussemilch[/re]: A few days ago I’d be on board with this. Now I’m coming around to the position that Obama has found his nutz, that the GOP is hemmed in by their own bullshit (teabaggers eating their own &c) and by what I might hope to call nutwad fatigue in the media, and that the Democrats have caought on that actually having some legislative accomplishments might do the them some good. I lived in Nevada four years, I think Harry Reid and Larry Craig are cut from the same cloth (the kind you make into magical underpants), but since there is no legitimate left in the US what the fuck else are we going to get behind? Jack Layton?
Can we throw health insurance execs in the pool with Tilla the Killa?
Does this mean Maryland gets earthquakes and hurricanes, or just Asian carp and crabgrass?
How long do we think it’ll be until Steve King (R-IA), the worst member of congress, explains that the whale really was kinda justified, and it will be a happy day in America when we abolish Sea World?
[re=519503]Cape Clod[/re]: With that second guy, I wonder what Tilly thought.
“It’s nighttime. Can’t humans leave me alone for two seconds? Who the hell put this asshole in my tank? And oh by the way, he shows up without beer? Fail.”
I’m paraphrasing, of course.
Does three victims qualify him as a serial killer whale?
[re=519520]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Three victims in Florida makes you a wannabe. You have to pile up a lot more bodies than that in Florida to qualify as a serial killer. Although the whole noshing on his victims does help…
If health insurance companies are the impoverished red-headed step cousins, I’d love to know what they do with the cash people pay for coverage in-between receiving their monthly payment & sending the billing company a check for $11.27, when the patient’s radiation bill was $110.
[re=519512]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Bro’ (or Sister), do I ever hope you’re right. But somebody better tell them that this is the last time I let them get my hopes up: doubtless that announcement will make the difference between Incredibly Mild Win and Historic Fail.
[re=519513]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Let’s move the whole operation to the (wait, I have to check the spelling . . . okay:) Philippines and call it the Tilla the Killa Thrilla in Manila.
“Jeb Hensarling will be fed poisoned cucumber sandwiches by White House chef Cristeta Comerford” wins this morning’s Unlikeliest String of Words, Names, and Menu Items in the Universe.
Let my Orca go.
And that’s why they call them killer whales, no surprise there. Also, let’s bury Wellpoints CEO alive in their annual report – pages and pages of “look how much money we made”, just to hear her scream, muffled though it may be.
Patterson: “Didn’t see that coming.”
[re=519517]mumblyjoe[/re]: Steve King would never side with the whale. More likely, he’d grab his “Desert Eagle” monster gun, head down there, and shoot it — like he did that poor raccoon the other day. And then would Twitter it: “Desert Eagle 1, crazy Orca 0.”
Although I suspect that the orca would not be so easily dispatched as the raccoon was.
http://www.rollcall.com/issues/55_90/hoh/43269-1.html?type=printer_friendly
[re=519527]Buzz Feedback[/re]: When it came time for him to lean on the girlfriend, who told him where she was standing?
Angela Braly didn’t get nearly the ridicule she deserved. Her vomit inducing we-are-really-doing-you-a-favor shtick would have landed her in prison in a rational world.
[re=519494]Suds McKenzie[/re]:
I don’t think that color is from a tanning booth. I think it’s nicotine stains.
I like the animal rights activist who claimed that keeping the whale in captivity turned him violent. No, being a fucking killer whale made him violent; they don’t need any external force to turn them into killers.
LoVerde said her daughter loved the killer whales she trained and performed with, cuddling with them like they were children.
Yeah but she forgot to make sure Axe Cop had her back first…
So it wasn’t Limbaugh after all. Understandable confusion, though.
[re=519532]JMP[/re]: Big laughs here, too. Are they Killer Whales cuz they’re Drop Dead Gorgeous? No…they kill things, which is cool since that’s their nature. That being said, I also believe they shouldn’t be kept in captivity. I think they and dolphins are pretty cool animals and it’s wrong to keep them locked up so they can do tricks for Bovine Americans.
When you mentioned Chef Comerford I thought of how great it would be if Obama surprised the assembled congresspeople by having them greeted by “The Chairman”. “Today’s Secret Ingredient! Indian Pharmaceuticals! Allez Cuisine!”
I know it’s cool to dismiss these things when they’re about Democrats, but the Paterson story is actually kind of disturbing.
[re=519525]steverino247[/re]: Braggart.
[re=519534]Mr Blifil[/re]: At first I thought, what kind of stoner shit is this. Then I noticed that the artist’s creative partner is a 5 year old. Then it made perfect sense.
[re=519532]JMP[/re]: But didn’t you see the movie “Orca” with Bo Derek? In the wild these animals aren’t violent killers, they’re merely picky eaters preferring to only eat the legs.
Gee, do you suppose there’s a reason they call them “killer” whales?
[re=519532]JMP[/re]: The only real problem with captivity is that people begin to think of the animals as pets and start to ignore the fact that what they have is a gigantic carniverous mammal with huge teeth and a name that begins with ‘Killer.’
Happy birthday, by the way.
[re=519527]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Reminds me of a Cheech and Chong joke about a “blind date with Stevie Wonder.”
Where is Skink?
“Jeb” Hensarling? Sorry, I think you mean Jim, right?
You know, they call them “Killer Whales”
But you seemed surprised
When it pinned you down to the bottom of the tank
Where you can’t turn around
It took half your leg and both your lungs
And I craved, I ate hearts of sharks
I know you know it:
I’m a man, man, man, man, man, man-eater
But still you’re surprised, prised, prised
When I eat ya
[re=519564]Cape Clod[/re]: People are dumb, and many don’t seem to get that there are many animals that will see us and think, “Mmm, lunch”.
And thanks!
[re=519517]mumblyjoe[/re]: I prefer the musings of Steven King, the horror fiction writer, who will explain that the victims will be reincarnated as whales themselves, to find that they can return to their previous human lives by slaughtering another human, sorta like Cat People. Or something.
Damn you, Main Stream Medias! All I need to know about orcas I learned from “Free Willy.”
Yes, Free Willy! Free all the Willies!
And remember “Moxie the Friendly Rattlesnake” and “Eric the Affable Ebola Virus”?
You are just going to ruin the corporate zoological experience for teh kidz.
[re=519604]JMP[/re]: Here’s what a killer whale thinks when a human jumps into the swimming pool: “Yum, seal. I’ve been hankering for a delicious seal.”
Then after the human gets eated: “That seal tasted weird.”
The Internal Revenue Service asks that you please do not swim with the killer whales until after you’ve filed your taxes.
___________
[re=519504]Radiotherapy[/re]: Those mean Dems better not push Wellpoint too far, or they’ll “Go Galt” on us and all we’ll have left is a half dozen other insurance companies and that lousy Public Option.
Not ALL whales are killers, millions of whales haven’t killed anyone today and only a tiny minority have been radicalized.
[re=519532]JMP[/re]: It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
Happy birthday, also.
one of Tilla’s meals was in Canada so really only two in florida (amereicas wang) so
that puts him/her down the serial killer list even further.
Um…you guys know that “killer whales” is a misnomer right? I mean they’re not even WHALES. Don’t let my third-grade report go to waste people. I just needed to point this kind of thing out before people go to their local porn emporium looking for sperm whales.
I know this is not funny.
“… it also appeared Tilikum bit the man’s body and tore off his swimming trunks after he had died…” (of hypothermia).
“… the naked body of a man who had apparently sneaked into SeaWorld after hours to swim with the whales was found draped dead across his back.” Orlando Sentinel
Dayam. Communication with Animals 101: I. Want. Out.
[re=519809]canadians for pussy[/re]: Yeah, “Sperm Whales” is right over there, next to Chubby Chasers and the new Kevin Smith.
[re=519877]FMA[/re]: Sorry. I meant that as a reply to SocialistMuslin.
[re=519528]Gumboz1953[/re]: I think that would be “Desert Eagle 1, Crazy Orca 3″
[re=519823]OldGrowthSwamp[/re]: Oh man…be careful with that. The next thing we’ll have is LOL Whales polluting the internet.
I suppose there’s such a thing as a tame tiger or elephant or grizzly bear or orca. But anyone who thinks they can completely pacify such animals is delusional. I’ve actually touched an orca in the wild, but get in the water with them? No effing way! Not after seeing what they can do to a seal!
SeaWorld needs to find a new way to screw people out of their money.
[re=519821]SocialistMuslin[/re]: But isn’t “TILIKUM” a more appropriate name for a sperm whale? Am I the first pervert to note this?
[re=520198]bitchincamaro[/re]: Is it “Bitchin’ Camaro” (like a ’69 Z-28) or “Bitch In Camaro” like pulled out in front of me Monday? Just curious…
[re=520332]plowman[/re]: Yes.
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