they get free bagels too

SCANDAL: TeeVee Cable News ‘Guests’ Actually Evil Shills From Various War/Death Corporations!

Ha ha this is actually your editor's teevee on his desk. Does it still work?Did you know that the various “experts” and “guests” and “pundits” on the cable-news shows are almost all corporate shills and lobbyists for various death conglomerates? This is true, and actually kind of obvious to many skilled media observers — just these two guys, really — but The Nation would still like you to know the excruciating details. So how about, say, 45,000 words on the subject? YES WE CAN.

After noting the particular crimes of treacherous sleazebags such as nuke-promotingTom Ridge ($530,659 from America’s biggest nuclear power company) or war-promoting Barry McCaffrey ($182,309 just last year from one defense contractor), the liberal magazine explores what may be the biggest mystery of all: What motivates such on-screen behavior?!?

For lobbyists, PR firms and corporate officials, going on cable television is a chance to promote clients and their interests on the most widely cited source of news in the United States. These appearances also generate good will and access to major players inside the Democratic and Republican parties. For their part, the cable networks, eager to fill time and afraid of upsetting the political elite, have often looked the other way. At times, the networks have even disregarded their own written ethics guidelines. Just about everyone involved is heavily invested in maintaining the current system, with the exception of the viewer.

WHAT? So they’re all in it together, against … the teevee news viewer? Goddammit, what next? Will The Nation find out that politicians are liars? That “restless ass syndrome” was just made up to sell hundred-dollar pills? If this keeps up, we might have to quit watching the teevee for 25 hours a day! While eating microwave burritos, dozens of them at a time. And crying. [The Nation via Wonkette operative "Thomas W."]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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27 comments

  1. SayItWithWookies

    Wait — they’re afraid of “upsetting the political elite?” So if, for instance, MSNBC discloses that their expert guest is also a paid spokesperson for some industry, that industry will then refuse to have their little shill on national television? They’re not really thinking this through, are they?

  2. Cheneysheart

    I am a bleeding heart liberal on all things liberal, but even I must say that Chris Hayes and Katrina Vanden Hootin-Snootin-Huevos are two of the longest winded liberals I’ve ever met. Did you happen to catch little Chris’ revelation to Rachel Maddow on how to “bust the filibuster”??!! YAHHHWWWWWNNNN!

  3. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I’m glad I’ll always be able to rely on the strong ethical foundation of our Wonkette staff.

  4. Magnus Maximus

    Wha?? No, never…next you’ll tell me those hot sex panel chicks in the ExtenZe commercials aren’t objective experts!

  5. V572625694

    This isn’t nearly as disgusting as the Pentagon feeding classified info to all the used generals and colonels who pontificate about our glorious wars for network moniez.


  6. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=518932]vkladchik[/re]: It was a joke, but if it confuses everyone so much, I guess I’ll change it. Dummies.

  7. Hooray For Anything

    You could look at this as just one in a long list of reasons why we should all start studying Mandarin, but you could also look at this as just one big jobs program. See, lowering corporate taxes does work!

  8. F*T*S*

    Hey fat asses: don’t forget to use your Freedom Tray “While eating microwave burritos, dozens of them at a time.”

  9. LOLqat

    As for me, I only trust things told to me personally (preferably in erotic whispers) by Joshua “Micah” Marshall.

  10. Katydid

    Dammit Layne, u got it wrong. U gots 2 read btwn the lines. The librul media elite r teh political shills. The experts & guests r teh high-priced corporate whores. Teh pundits r the $2 political whores.

    Get ‘er write. Heh heh, see what I did there?

  11. JMP

    They’ll have a new expose showing how most late night talk show guests are appearing just to promote their movies or TV shows; or in the case of Stewart/Colbert, books.

    [re=518939]Cheneysheart[/re]: The Conservatives get the advantage in punditry in part because the stupid and those pandering to the stupid tend to speak in short, simple soundbites rather than detailed, nuanced and therefore boring explanations.

  12. Snarkalicious

    And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR JOURNALISM!

  13. Chickensmack

    [re=518968]Sen. Schlong[/re]: I watch TDS and CR until they do interviews. That’s when THEY get paid by the book agents, too.

    Toxic Sludge is Good For You.

  14. slavojzizek

    This was funnier (??) when the New York Times ran it as a front page story, and all the tv news firmly avoided mentioning it. Happened about a year or two ago.

  15. DC Hates Me

    Head Cheese is made from meat jelly. It’s disgusting and should be illegal, but some people actually buy it.

Comments are closed.