Mmm, credit default swaps...Which Starbucks-drinking human who likes to drink Starbucks coffee during work breaks is trying to defend the ObamUlus TelLyPoopter WhaleFail package today? Just the CBO, a national corrupt community organizing commune for Gaynesian economists: “The massive stimulus package passed last year to blunt the impact of the worst U.S. recession in 70 years created up to 2.1 million jobs in the last three months of 2009, the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office said on Tuesday.” It also lowered the unemployment rate by 2.1% and added 3.5% of economic growth during said quarter. Should the Democrats even bother trying to sell this awful news to deficit-conscious voters?

More liberal bullshit:

Though the economy performed more poorly than predicted, that was not due to the ineffectiveness of the stimulus package, CBO said.

“In CBO’s judgment, that outcome reflects greater-than-projected weakness in the underlying economy rather than lower-than-expected effects” of the stimulus, the research office said.

The package is likely to have the greatest impact this year, according to CBO. It is expected to boost GDP by between 1.4 percent and 4 percent and bring down the unemployment rate by between 0.7 percent and 1.8 percent in 2010, higher figures than last year when many of its programs were being set up. The impact is expected to trail off over the next two years.

Direct purchasing of goods and services by the federal government and states have been the most effective provision of the act, CBO said. Among the least effective: a tax credit for first-time homebuyers and a tax cut for the wealthy.

Don’t worry: it’s never too late to switch your vote to John McCain. UPDATE: Intern Riley… claims new research… says… oh god it IS too late to switch our votes to John McCain! What about Sarah Palin? No??


UPDATE 2-US stimulus added up to 2.1 mln jobs in Q4 2009-CBO [Reuters]

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  1. Should the Democrats even bother trying to sell this awful news to deficit-conscious voters?

    That’s not “deficit conscious”, that’s “negro conscious”. As Cheney would say, White guy deficits don’t matter. Negro deficits, like negroes with their feet on the desk, are INTOHLARAHBULL!

  2. Didn’t you even read this? It begins with

    Though the economy performed more poorly than predicted…

    Now I ask you, what on earth do you think the folks at FOX NEWS will do with this story? Don’t fall for it, Dems; it’s a trap!

  3. [re=518503]Junior[/re]: I consider that a bargain compared to the million bucks per troop spent in afghanistan. And we end up with roads and bridges and shit. I’ve even driven on some of said roads, and I’m sure every teabagger has too, if only on a Rascal.

  4. [re=518511]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Now now. That just means that the good residents of TrailerTrashistan didn’t fall over themselves buying Freedom Trays and camo-patterned Snuggies in Q4, is all. See also: Wal-Mart earnings down.

  5. [re=518503]Junior[/re]: “Almost $400,000 per job.” If you could build roads and bridges out of dirt and spit, it would have been a lot cheaper.

  6. The CBO is so full of crap. Everybody knows the reason for the bump in GDP was our continued occupation of Iraq, tort reform, homeschooling and those dances where all the sweet young things promise their daddies and Jesus that they’ll only take it up the ass until they get married.

  7. Jeebus weeps and weeps.

    All this fucking Demtard, Teatard, Repubtard economic crappola is grabbing all the bandwidth and we are nearing the end of February and not yet rejoicing that our own Wonkette was won the 2010 Bloggie as the bestest ever religiosity site. How many electronic chads are being hung over there?


    New CBO numbers show that only 2.1 million jobs were created in the last three months of 2009. This is substantially lower than 7 million jobs. Unemployment was only lowered by 2.1% which is far less than 10% and the Democrat Party has only added 3.5% out of a possible 10% of economic growth.

  9. Fox version of report – Stage one (Fox and Friends, half jokingly) the CBO has the word Congressional right in it, so you know they are going to cover for the Democrats on this.
    (O’Reilly, sincere and concerned): The CBO has scored Obamacare favorably, now this. Orzag used to be the head of the CBO, and I have to ask: Is the CBO too closely attached to the President? We’ll investigate that next with my special guess, a guy who once ate with the CBO head at a group event of 500 and thinks the guy winked at Orzag from across the room.”
    (Limbaugh, jowly and red): I just heard a shocking! Shocking thing! Shocking report, I tell you. Apparently the head of the CBO is the secret gay lover of Peter Orzag. That not only explains this new pile of garbage about the giant Dem give away, but all the hot women who are with him. I knew that nerd couldn’t be that popular.” Beck (in tears, crying openly and unable to write on chalkboard) “How long? How long has the CBO been a communist front organization? Patriots, you must rise up against this oppression. Destroy all the tools of oppression – calculators, slide rules, basic economics. (Sneering) Economics. It isn’t even a real science, you know? (and so on for another 50 minutes).
    Next day, Fox News “Sources indicate that there are significant issues with the CBO report’s sources and methods. Some are saying it isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. Coming up, our report on how apricot pits can beat cancer. And after that, how the IRS is out to get you today.”

  10. I guess this means we don’t have to care about the poor, foreclosed on, and the unemployed anymore now that the recession is over. Bring on the capital gains tax cuts!

  11. Of course the first-time home-buyer credit has had the least impact – us new-home buyers are only filing our taxes for 2009 now, we won’t even receive the money for a few weeks.

  12. [re=518496]ManchuCandidate[/re]:According to the University of Chicago school of freakonomics, it’s a simple lack of mojo in Hopeys voodoo that’s at the root of our unemployment problems.
    Markets are rational and frictionless, so unemployment must be caused by an overall lack of “gumption” among the unemployed. They should be out starting hedge funds and biotech firms but instead, based on the perceived benefit of a possible resumption of their unemployment stipend, they are hanging about in strip mall parking lots drinking cheap domestic wines out of plastic cups.

    The Solution?
    Bring back debtors prison.
    So spake the high priests of the Rational Markets…

  13. I’m just a simple common sense Gaynesian sipping on my Gay Tai.

    [re=518528]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Fox N Morans is the Karl Pilkington of the news…except unintentionally hilarious. Gretchen Carlson plays retarded but those two male morans are hardcore retarded. Just take a look at Kilmeade’s beady eyes. There’s nothing there. He’s a blank slate. But what the fuck do we know? FOXNEWS HAS THE HIGHEST RATINGS IN THE WORRLD !!

  14. The CBO was heroic to most, but it never meant shit to me. They’re straight-up reverse racists… Do you think I’m that much of a sucker?

  15. Among the least effective: a tax credit for first-time homebuyers and a tax cut for the wealthy.

    Huh. I had no idea the CB in CBO stood for ‘commie bastards’.

  16. [re=518526]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: A measley 2.7 million jobs in three months? Please remind the Fox News viewers that Bush created a whopping 3 million jobs over eight YEARS, see the Wall Street Journal: (BTW, Clinton created 23 million jobs during his eight years. Sorry for getting so wonky.)

    Hopefully this report will be the last straw and implode what’s left of the remaining teabaggers’ brains.

  17. Um, did Intern Riley ask the Supreme Court what they think about this “too late” business? Since when do laws and precedent mean anything in this country anyway?

  18. [re=518564]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Yes, but we all know that most of the jobs clinton created were cocktail waitresses and strippers. Bless his monkey heart.

  19. [re=518535]Potater[/re]:Eeehhhhhh, I dunno. That’s at least a twenty hour process to fabricate the narrative, and frankly, I don’t think they could uphold those standards of determination and consistency.

  20. [re=518545]El Pinche[/re]: I have no idea if you are male or female , but I will perform the sexual favour of your choice just for the Karl Pilkington reference.

  21. And remember folks, most of the stimulus money is in reserves waiting to be spent this spring.

    OK Obama, you gave the teabaggers enough rope to hang themselves. Now, like Michael Corleone, you have to pour it on and not stop until the five families are dead.

  22. [re=518579]Troubledog[/re]: Absolutely so, and geometry was invented by teh totally Gaynesian Greeks.

    When it comes to math, if’n it ain’t done with good ol’ fashion, schizo, multidimensional >German tensors, then don’t trust it. Yep tensors – mathematical LSD.

  23. Nah. The Dems will, as usual, not use this one against the Repugs because, well, they’re a bunch of pussies and they’re afraid of confronting the Neanderthals and exposing them for what they are: a sorry-ass bag of retarded racist twats.

    So, never mind that the number of new applications for unemployment benefits drops consistently month after month. Never mind that the economy didn’t implode and that we’re not being forced to emigrate illegally to China to find work. Never mind that we’re making money out of the bank bailout and never mind that there are tangible data showing that the stimulus worked.

    To boot: never mind that the Repugs have given us the loveliest assortment of sound bites illustrating how much they hate Americans and anyone who doesn’t think or look like them. The Dems won’t use any of that to campaign and win the upcoming Election. As usual, they will let the Repugs own the issues and set the tone of the conversation. That’s just the way pussies are.

  24. [re=518528]Berkeley Bear[/re]: The worst part is that they can sleep at night and don’t even hate themselves. Well, that and the fact that they’re all very, very rich.

  25. [re=518526]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: And only 19 abortions, that is clearly much lower than the 193% increase in abortions we at Fox News were predicting.

  26. [re=518528]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Amazing…it’s almost like you’re a liberal tick inside Roger Ailes or Karl Roves brain as you know their thought processes too well. Okay, so if you are, can’t you do something to make that little stroke bloodclot growing in Ailes brain grow a bit quicker? Or maybe slap around Rove’s medula oblongata to make him less of an asshat? Anyway, there’ll be a complimentary set of Truck Nutz with your name on them (the nutz, even…you’ll be the belle of the tea bagger ball) sent care of H.Rupert Murdoch

  27. What shocks me is that the Republicans haven’t properly used this one to their advantage…claiming something like “Well, if you’d only cut taxes on the rich and on guys who own tanning beds you’d have created 777799u7097978679767896t BAZILLION JOBS for half the expense!” <<<< John Boehner, always advocating for the special interest near and dear to his heart…guys who own the Supernova 5000 series brand of tanning beds.

  28. [re=518528]Berkeley Bear[/re]: day two: abc / cbs integrated dialectic poll shows CBO considered ‘incredible’ institution by 53% of americans who were awake.

    day six: on morning edition, mara liasson asks ‘do americans really understand the CBO and why hasn’t the o’bama administration taken responsibility’

    two weeks out: ‘the economist’ decides the CBO has moved too far left and the o’bama administration will need to sacrifice cap and trade to move forward.

    TY BB. made me happy today.

  29. [re=518650]ladymacbeth[/re]: [re=518535]Potater[/re]: Thanks, although I have to admit they make it way too easy.

    [re=518648]Wingnutia[/re]: If I only had the ability to really get inside their brains, there’d be a sudden rash of cerebral hemmorhages over at Fox. Although with Ailes and Rove, I don’t think even a parasite could get through the lead shielding they’ve layered on over the years to keep themselves from having the accept reality.

  30. [re=518521]SayItWithWookies[/re]: close.. but it’s not anal, it’s call ‘moral oral”- saving your balloon knot and cooch for your master of the house, also

  31. Though the economy performed more poorly than predicted, that was not due to the ineffectiveness of the stimulus package, CBO said.

    Oh really? Then what other bad shit did the ineffectiveness of the stimulus package cause?

  32. [re=518664]BigDupa[/re]: Moral oral — that’s an abstinence-inducing euphemism if ever I heard one. I much prefer the hedonistic nonjudgmental tropospheric monumental sacriligeous multilingual anarchistic orgiastic supercalimojoblastic anatomically improbable wriggling mass of near-unstoppable interracial threesome. I promise I’ll let them teach abstinence in health class if I can teach that one in their Sunday schools.

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