BIG GAMBLE THERE  2:05 pm February 23, 2010

Orly Taitz Thinks UN Can/Will Protect Her

by Jim Newell

Queen Birther and international lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has asked the United Nations Human Rights Council to protect her. We know that she is in hiding from other mean lawyers because she issued a press release, about how she is hiding. It comes under the name of “Dr. Jonathan Levy,” supposedly her lawyer, even though she is a lawyer. Neither of these people actually exist. [Washington Independent]

 
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{ 73 comments }

AggieDemocrat February 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm

And people wonder why the UN can’t get anything done. It’s because they spend their days dealing with shit like this.

Monsieur Grumpe February 23, 2010 at 2:09 pm

It’s waterboard time!

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Dear Orly,

Please think of the UN that helped the Koreans and Cypriots, not the one who let the Arabs and Israelis go at it or watched helplessly in Rwanda and the former Yugo Republics.

BTW, Kenya is a member of the UN…

MC

Mr Blifil February 23, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Only John Bolton’s moustache can save her now.

BlueStateLiberal February 23, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Why didn’t someone tell me that it was Teabaggers Go Nuts Week?

CrunchyKnee February 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Oh, Oily T., please never change, ever!

Crank Tango February 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Asking the UN for help HAS to be the teabagger equivalent of jumping the shark, right?

Come here a minute February 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Hotter, hornier, wetter, tighter.

Real-estate agent, also!

loquaciousmusic February 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Her lawyer’s firm accepts PayPal, so you know they’re totally legit.

Einstein' February 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Just when you think bat shit can’t get any crazier…

Extemporanus February 23, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Did she apply for UN protection because she really needs it, or because she thought their helmets would nicely complement her eyeshadow?

Extemporanus February 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

[re=518160]Mr Blifil[/re]: “Comb with me if you want to live!”

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

What the hell’s going on today? I wish there was a calendar for sale that would announce holidays like Insane Chattering Paranoid Rightwing Second-Stringers Spew Their Crap All Over the Internet Day or whatever this is. I didn’t even have time to make a covered dish.

SmutBoffin February 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm

This is weird and stupid and hilarious. Orly just doesn’t wanna pay her big court bill, so what’s a dumbass to do?

Imma go cry to the U.N. about these bills to the power company and “Katya’s Dungeon of Discipline”, BRB.

Chumley February 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Does “Barrack” Obama have anything to do with Barack Obama? Maybe she’s been right about this Barrack character all along.
-2 points for spelling. +100 whore diamonds for creativity.

Tommmcatt February 23, 2010 at 2:20 pm

[re=518171]loquaciousmusic[/re]:

Did you see? Dr. Jonathan Levy is the world’s leading authority on the mysterious political organization known as the Intermarium! This is a high-powered player she’s got on her team!

freakishlystrong February 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Being an ‘Merikan is getting moar and moar embarrassing by the post today.

Darkness February 23, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Sorry, this is my fault. I proudly announced to the household this morning that “this week can’t get any more insane”.

TGY February 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Orly Taitz is a genocide of one.

predilectrix February 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

@ Einstein: Ol’ Crazy Eyes hasn’t been heard from yet this week. She’s probably Friday’s headliner for Wingnuttaggedon Week.

FMA February 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Pretty soon, her only option is going to be flying a plane into a building.

Did I type that out loud?

qwerty42 February 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

When I saw this was in the Washington Independent, I thought to myself “could this have been written by David Weigel?” … why yes, yes it was. Is Dave just getting the crazies these days? Oh yeah, the comment section is great. Not sure if some are really Wonketteers — that is how crazy some seem to be, but the birfers are grade-a nutzos.

proudgrampa February 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I was wondering where she’d been lurking.

The Other Sarah T February 23, 2010 at 2:26 pm

“Dr. Taitz, a well known Constitutional attorney…” Well known at Camarillo State, maybe. And “Dr. Taitz” ? Is that “doctor” as in Hook or Detroit ?

Gregoire February 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm

I wish she would fake a suicide and make it look like Obama personally tried to strangle her.

rmontcal February 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm

It says, “For Immediate Release” at the top, but I read the whole thing and… no orgasm. WTF?

JMP February 23, 2010 at 2:29 pm

A while back I was a little on my student loan payments and started getting annoying phone calls from them; now I know that I should have applied for asylum from the UN.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm

[re=518201]The Other Sarah T[/re]: Feelgood.

anonymousryan February 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm

I DEMAND that the UN censure KENYA until their AFRICAN PRESIDENT stops threatening poor DOCTOR ORLY TAITZ DDS ESQUIRE. I also DEMAND that the UN extend this protection to DOCTOR CONGRESSMAN RON PAUL MD until this AFRICAN KENYAN DICTATOR is removed from power and replaced with a WHITE CHRISTIAN President who shares at least 66% of his DNA with RONALD REAGAN.

Limeylizzie February 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm

[re=518160]Mr Blifil[/re]: OK I had such a foul visual of Orly getting a ride on said John Bolton’s moustache…Wingnut Love…shudder.

desertwind February 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Her lawyer’s “firm” is called Brimstone and Company!

Crazy roll on, roll on.

comicbookguy February 23, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I’m going to try and get my neighborhood dive bar declared a UN safe haven!

Carson February 23, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Can the UN protection include relocation?
Far, far away relocation?

Terry February 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

The comments section for that article alternates between hilarious and horrifying.

Lascauxcaveman February 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Neither of these people actually exist.

I believe it was Voltaire who said “If Orly Taitz did not exist, it would be necessary for Wonkette to invent her.”

Aloysius February 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

“Brimstone & CO. is a multijurisdictional law firm – primary licenses in Washington D. C. and Nigeria.”

Where is her attorney’s birth certificate?

And why does he want the UN to allow Orly to temporarily deposit money into the UN’s coffers?

And what is his connection to the Underwear Bomber?

pampl February 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I got $50 that says Taitz is Andy Kaufman

Darkness February 23, 2010 at 2:39 pm

[re=518213]desertwind[/re]: I’m not even going to go look because I have to cling to the belief that you made that up.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=518193]predilectrix[/re]: Wingnuttageddon FTW.

ForTheTurnstiles February 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=518218]Terry[/re]: I suspect some Wonkerratti are involved in that.

Aloysius February 23, 2010 at 2:41 pm

[re=518227]pampl[/re]: You win, but I’m going to have to get back to you on that $50.

Barry White Zombie February 23, 2010 at 2:41 pm

[re=518216]comicbookguy[/re]: Only if you want the Serbs to burn it down.

Zadig February 23, 2010 at 2:45 pm

[re=518188]Darkness[/re]: Are you kidding? This shit is awesome, stop apologizing! Say it again!

PlanetWingnuta February 23, 2010 at 2:45 pm

[re=518204]rmontcal[/re]: if it was a china paper that would have happend…just sayin’

Crank Tango February 23, 2010 at 2:47 pm

[re=518203]Gregoire[/re]: with backwards ligature marks? I say it’s worth a try. I just hope she doesn’t david carradine herself. No wait, I do hope that. Sorry.

Escape Goat Nation February 23, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Say what you want, but she’s got some really cool hair.

kudzu February 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Don’t these fuckers hate the UN? or is it like Rick Perry, who wants Texas to secede but still wants to get dough from the Feds?

PlanetWingnuta February 23, 2010 at 3:01 pm

ok ok this is my favorite comment to a birther who’s off her rails (*as they all are):

chrisjay: Lafayme, you’ve gone & crossed the line with your outrageous and unsupportable contention that Elvis is NOT alive. Where do people like you get off making such scurrilous claims? Obviously you are one of the unwashed rabble who were taken in by the “funeral” , as well as the “gravesite” at Graceland. I have been demanding for years that the State of Tennessee produce the ORIGINAL LONGFORM death certificate for Elvis Aaron Presley; those Al Gore-appointed thugs have been evading, obfuscating and LYING! I don’t care who thinks he’s dead—-I know the King lives. I have all the proof you need here at PresleyLives.com ——-see for yourself if you dare.

Mad Brahms February 23, 2010 at 3:09 pm

And with this, all the UN aid workers in Africa drop what they are doing and go on a mad hunt for the Long Form Bird Certificate.

V572625694 February 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm

If you had to choose a combination of “professions” that could collectively cause you more pain, expense and misery than any other set, dentist, lawyer and real estate agent would be a strong contender for the best.

MOG February 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

[re=518188]Darkness[/re]: Thanks! I’ve been on an endless conference call and reading this stuff has me all giggly and every now and then I remember that I’m supposed to be participating on the call, so I pop in with a non sequitor based on the comments.

momus February 23, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Is there a full moon? It’s been cloudy around here.

Kinkster February 23, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=518227]pampl[/re]: No way, Taitz is totally Sacha Baron Cohen’s new character

Cape Clod February 23, 2010 at 3:47 pm

This comment is my favorite.

Derek 3 hours ago
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, CONSERVATIVES WRITE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE WE ARE VERY, VERY ANGRY! AND ALSO BECAUSE OBAMA’S JACKBOOTED THUGS ARE UNABLE TO READ CAPITAL LETTERS. IT’S TRUE! LOOK IT UP! LEAVE ORLY TAITZ ALONE YOU SOCIALIST FASCIST ANARCHIST CLARINETIST COMMUNISTS! SOME OF US LOVE HER. I HAVE A PICTURE OF HER RIGHT HERE NEXT TO MY PILLS. NO WAIT: THAT’S PETER WELLER IN A BLOND WIG. NURSE, WHERE IS MY PICTURE OF ORLY TAITZ?

Well played, Derek.

comicbookguy February 23, 2010 at 3:47 pm

They should give her asylum in Haiti. Lots of people need help finding their birf certificats.

snakedart February 23, 2010 at 3:57 pm

If this fails, she can always escalate her case to Star Fleet.

dwbh February 23, 2010 at 3:59 pm

“TIREDOFSTUPID” wins the internet with this comment:

TIREDOFSTUPID 10 hours ago
WELL LETS THINK FOR A MINUTE. OH I FORGOT, NOBODY IN THE SAD LAND I WAS BORN INTO DON’T THINK. I WISH I HAD A WAY TO DO SOMETHING FOR ORLY. I STUMBLED UPON HER WHEN THE SINCLAIR PRESS CONFERENCE TO THE PRESS CLUB ACCURED. IN MY WORLD I PUT ORLY AS THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON TO EVEN UTTER THE WORDS “I AM AN AMERICAN”. SHE IS THE ONLY TRUE AMERICAN. SOON I WILL MAKE UP MY MIND ON A NEW COUNTRY TO SETTLE IN. ANYONE ALREADY GOT ON THAT BUS YET? SUGGESTIONS? IM THINKING MEXICO. HELL IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, FULL ON JUNGLE TO SETTLE INTO.

ORLY I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AND WISH PERSONALLY WISH I WAS ABLE TO PUT A PROTECTIVE SHELL AROUND YOU THAT NO ONE COULD PENETRATE. PEACE TO THE ONLY TRUE AMERICAN. DR. ORLY TAITZ. THE EAGLE OF WHAT WAS AMERICA.

p.s. people get your head out your shoe and recover your stolen thought process. Hell its too late I am pretty sure. So never mind.

HonestInjun February 23, 2010 at 4:02 pm

[re=518201]The Other Sarah T[/re]: [re=518207]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Dr Teeth, of course. My favorite muppet.

PlanetWingnuta February 23, 2010 at 4:02 pm

[re=518372]snakedart[/re]: oh noez she’ll say Tyler Perry isn’t the Federation President and will want to see his birth certificate in the new timeline.!!!!!!!

S.Luggo February 23, 2010 at 4:10 pm

[re=518171]loquaciousmusic[/re]: The firm consists of two lawyers: Dr. Levy, DDS, and this Nigerian dude who studied in Cuba and is admitted to practice only in the Bahamas. You get what pay for, Orly. Heh.

Tommmcatt February 23, 2010 at 4:13 pm

[re=518374]dwbh[/re]:

Orly Taitz: Eagle of America

Genius.

S.Luggo February 23, 2010 at 4:17 pm

From law.laywers.cornell.edu

“Dr. Levy is considered one of the world’s leading experts on topics such as the Vatican Bank …”

That will certainly help.

FMA February 23, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=518374]dwbh[/re]: So that’s what Shorts’ been up to. Brilliant.

Berkeley Bear February 23, 2010 at 5:23 pm

[re=518393]S.Luggo[/re]: Sadly, it appears he is a legit PhD (Univ. Cincinnatti) and fellow of Orly’s in the Taft on-line law school alumni group (they must be so proud). He claims he teaches at “prestigious universities” which is code for U Phoenix online or something equally unimpressive, has gone on rants about the Illuminati, is the “acting Attorney General” of the government in exile of some seperatist group in Angola, and absolutely hated Pope John Paul II. Notable cases include representing Chen-Shui Ben, disgraced former President of Taiwan (claiming somehow the US should shelter him from prosecution on corruption on a theory he was an agent of our military), suing the Kuomingtang party (mainly on behalf of backers of Chen-Shui’s party) for recovery of monies the KMT supposedly transferred to various bank accounts in 1950 to pay off defaulted bonds, seeking money from the Vatican for some Ustasha treasury allegedly improperly given to them after WWII, and seeking that FIFA (soccer’s governing body) investigate a frame up of his seperatist group by other Angolan groups in the attack on Togo’s national team a while back. That last one is my favorite – like the UN/Orly shit, it just ignores the fact the body appealed to has absolutely no authority to do what they are asking and wouldn’t give a crap if they could.

Of course, he declares himself an “expert” on all sorts of crazy crap like this without ever showing his cards/prior experience. Your basic fame whore from hell attorney – he and Orly will get on just fine.

Allyson February 23, 2010 at 5:58 pm

[re=518217]Carson[/re]: If there is life in outer space, they will never forgive us for sending her there.
Admittedly, though, it would shorten their search for intelligent life in the universe. “Scratch that planet off–on to Jupiter we go…”

Mad Brahms February 23, 2010 at 6:00 pm

[re=518490]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Ah, Angola! The little (read: Africa’s longest and one of the bloodiest) civil war that could…not ever seem to make the evening news, in spite of the fact that successive American administrations poured cash into right-wing groups for decades with the help of alleged-pariah-state Apartheid South Africa. And oh, what celebrity conservatives it involved!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_International
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angolan_Civil_War

This guy is a peach, I’m sure.

Aurelio February 23, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Big lawyers have little lawyers
Upon their backs to bite ‘em,
And little lawyers have littler lawyers
And so ad infinitum.

slowuncle February 23, 2010 at 7:21 pm

[re=518197]qwerty42[/re]: Wonketeers on W.I. ?
guilty as charged!

betterDeadThanRed February 23, 2010 at 8:05 pm

This weeks batch of meth must have been especially good this week.. or especially bad.

Barrister & Solicitors based in Nigeria? I think I’ve gotten emails from that law firm.

rmjag February 23, 2010 at 9:28 pm

this little ‘it’ person tries to destroy Obama’s citizenship thru fraud etc n ‘it’ is being persecuted ? That is why ‘it’s’ acquaintances refer to ‘it’ as ‘stinking asshole’ .

One Yield Regular February 23, 2010 at 10:21 pm

This is a fascinating development, but I feel I must withhold judgment until Ms. Taitz’s case has been appealed to the Galactic Federation.

Mad Brahms February 23, 2010 at 11:28 pm

[re=518651]One Yield Regular[/re]: Case refused due to the Prime Directive against interfering in the culture of those who are retarded.

Babs Johnson February 24, 2010 at 12:01 pm

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