The World’s Worst Writer has a Battle Plan for Iran! “I have no idea whether Ahmadinejad merely acts crazy or is crazy. I do know, though, that Iran seems intent on getting nuclear weapons and the missiles to deliver them… It may be time for Barack Obama, ever the soul of moderation, to borrow a tactic from Richard Nixon and fight crazy with crazy. The way things are going, it would be crazy not to.” A+! (PSST DID RICHARD COHEN JUST SUGGEST WE SHOULD NUKE IRAN FIRST? ) [Washington Post]
AMERICA'S GREATEST PUNDITS
February 23, 2010
{ 42 comments }
He has an 18-and-a-half minute gap IN HIS BRAIN.
Oh shut up. Let Israel nuke ‘em.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 2 get through this thing called “Cohen”…
Yeah, we really need to be paying $13.81 a gallon for gasoline right now.
On a related topic: it’s a sin to pray to Jeebus for someone to die, but what if that someone you’re praying about is Dick Cheney?
Fight crazy with crazy? How about we just send the teabagging lunatics screaming about Scott Brown over to Iran? That’s fighting crazy with crazy.
Polyptoton! His rhetoric tutor must be so proud.
Why doesn’t Dickie just write every column of his with: “ceterum censeo Iraninem esse delendam”
Only so many ways I can say you’re a big fucking coward, Dickie Cohen. Strap a nuke to your back, fly a plane and do a Stack in Tehran otherwise shut the fuck up.
He wants to get his crazy on bigtime.
[re=518053]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: With any lucky they’ll wipe themselves out. And someone strap a bomb to Richard’s butt shove him out of a window and let him bring the Lostie’s home without Juliet dying OK?
Now I’ve got it, the only remaining vestiges of the old GOP Establishment are the neocons, who should really be known as the Isreali Military Industrial Complex (Ike got just that one thing wrong, he didn’t know it would be a combination of GOP career cronie capitalists, defense contractors, and Isreal, that would take over society).
And now that even Francis Fukuyama is calling the neocons “lenninists” and voting for Obama, its left to the DC press corp, I suppose, to be the last “establishment” republicans.
Meanwhile frothing pigfuckers, retards, and rural racists storm the gates.
WTF, GOP? I mean, what the fuck? Look what you fucking did, ya let yourself be taken over by the fucking fundies and klansmen and generally retarded batshit crazies of the country, and look at you now. How’s that fucking “Southern Strategy” working out for ya, huh?
I suspect that Mr. Cohen is on his way to flying a plane into the Iranian Revenue Service.
I’ve long felt that Obama’s problem is that he’s not enough like Richard Nixon.
I like how all these columnists/pundits/chicken shit war mongers all think we should go to war with X country. I never hear McChrystal or Petraeus or anyone, you know, actually in the military say that crap because they know it’s more complicated than ‘shock & awe’. Not to mention where are we going to get all of these troops from … out of Dickie’s ass?
That’s CRAZY talk!
So first Cohen says that the madman strategy didn’t work for Nixon against Vietnam. Then he says Hitler made some really stupid decisions, being as he was crazy. Then he recommends that same idiotic strategy. Okay — it’s one thing to say a strategy works and then recommend it, but it’s an entirely genius form of crazy to advocate a strategy that you just showed doesn’t work — they’d totally never be expecting that.
Jesus, what is it with these fucksticks named “Dick” and their retrograde fappage about nuking the shit out of people? Tell you what, Cohen, why don’t you strap a warhead around your nethers, fly to Tehran, and detonate it while you’re fellating Ahmadenijad. Crazy talk, I know, but win-win all around.
Listen you nattering nabobs of negativity, all he’s suggesting is that Obama win the Iran war the same way Tricky Dicky won the Vietnam War. Simple!
Put Cohen’s ideas to work in your personal life. Not getting your love? People won’t do what you ask? Let them think you’re a homicidal fucking maniac! This has worked well for me.
The genius of this strategy is that Iran borders both Iraq and Afghanistan, so the army would be occupying one contiguous block of territory rather than the current two. If you libtards knew anything you’d see that this will make things easier.
[re=518055]Tommmcatt[/re]: He’s still a sorry sack of sorry shit.
Obama should send them Iraqi’s a 100 page letter that says “hard work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy” over and over again. That will show them.
Fighting crazy with crazy leaves the whole world in a nuthouse.
[re=518083]x111e7thst[/re]:
True, yes, but probably the best educated sack of shit in existence. It takes graduate school training to use the devices of Shakespeare and Churchill and still be such a hack.
I’m not sure if Richard Cohen just acts crazy or is crazy but I suspect the latter.
So – Obama should become as crazy as Nixon so Richard Cohen will bit down his blankie and stop sucking his thumb.
Did I miss anything?
WOOHHOOO CRAZEEE MUTHAFUKKA LETS ALL GO FUGGIN NUTZ AND THERE SHALL BE MUCH WRIGGLING IN FECAL MATTER BY ALLZ. WE ALSO CAN EVEN TRY TO SEXY CONTACT OPPOZIT SEXEE PEOPLE WHO WORK ALONG SIDE US ,ALSO
Yeah, Obama should certainly follow Nixon’s example on strategy. Let’s see, he expanded his inherited war in Vietnam to Cambodia, and things certainly turned out great there, what with leading directly to the Khmer Rouge taking power. Of course, fields (or well, deserts) filled with dead Iranians is exactly what Richie wants.
[re=518064]Spike[/re]: Really, none of us are. Dick Nixon himself was BARELY Nixonian enough for Dick Cohen.
[re=518075]WadISay[/re]: Well, following Richard Cohen’s strategy for personal relationships would lead to most people getting fired, unless you work for a company like the Washington Post (or Fox) that thinks there’s nothing wrong with sexual harassment.
Yes, let’s start a war. What’s the worst that could happen?
[re=518074]comicbookguy[/re]: Agent Orange does not kill sand. That is all.
All types of Nixon-crazy from expanding your war of fail into neighboring countries-crazy to fuck up an illegal dirty tricks project and become increasingly paranoid-crazy will be permissible, but visiting adversarial country for the first time in like ever and negotiating-crazy will not.
[re=518211]qwerty42[/re]: LETS START A WAR! START A NUCLEAR WAR! AT THE GAY BAR< GAY BAR<GAYBAR WAAAAHHW!!!
And the most embarassing fucking part – written by none other than Cohen himself in his second fucking paragraph:
[Nixon's described his Vietnam Strategy as] “We’ll just slip the word to them that, ‘For God’s sake, you know Nixon is obsessed about communism. We can’t restrain him when he’s angry — and he has his hand on the nuclear button.’ ” The strategy, while cunning, didn’t work on the North Vietnamese.
I may not be as old as Cohen, but I’m old enough to remember Tricky Dick Nixon visiting the ChiComs in their own house and sitting down to some great food, green tea and pleasant evening or two of conversation; attempting to build a base of mutual interest even as the ChiComs were doing their best to undermine our misguided efforts in Vietnam.
Is this what Cohen means by “going crazy?” Well, then yes, by all means Obama, go *crazy* on those Iraninas.
“…fight crazy with crazy. The way things are going, it would be crazy not to.”
What the – has our good man Richard been doing lines with / off of Thomas Friedman? I’d make fun of the whole ba-ba-ba-ba-bahmbIran thing but honestly I’m just transfixed by that last sentence.
This is a variation of advice my mother always gave me as I was growing up: If someone is being a stupid asshole, don’t fool around – just lower yourself to his level of retardation. That’ll solve the problem.
I’m sure Richard Cohen’s heritage has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to bomb Iran.
shit it turns out Sally Quinn isn’t even the stupidest person in the fucking BUILDING.
[re=518342]germansteel[/re]: heheheheheheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahehahehahehhaaaaa. also.
If these all the chickenhawk sissies who think the only thing better than invading Iraq is invading Iran would actually grow a pair and sign up to serve, then I could stay home while they go serve in a pointless war with no discernable objective or end state, instead of the other way around.
He still makes the best popcorn in the world!
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