The Wonderful World of Scott Brown’s Facebook Friends

  songs of love and hate

UNFRIEND!
Handsome nudist truck driver Scott Brown was the GOP’s BFF until he started “going rogue” on Monday with that whole “I’ll just give a helping hand to the Socialists, because we are the Communist Brotherhood” thing he pulled right there on C-SPAN, as if teabaggers didn’t even matter. Why doesn’t Scott Brown respect his Facebook friends and the, uh, Constitution?

Teabaggers hate Scott Brown. Reconnect with him!
These people want to “poke” Scott Brown. [Senator Scott Brown's Facebook Page via Wonkette comment star Loquacious Music]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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109 comments

  1. Dean Booth

    I understand their disappointment — if they have jobs, they won’t be able to hang out all day on Facebook.

  2. Single Player

    They are SO disappointed that he voted for a tax break because it might stimulate hiring.

    Any idiot knows that highway construction requires no workers, just bulldozers and cement trucks. DUH!

  3. Jim Demintia

    Not that we don’t all know this already, but, goddam, America is made up of some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. I mean, Jesus Christ, how do these fucktards even get through the most routine tasks of daily life?

  4. ManchuCandidate

    I’ll explain it the teabaggers:

    People who gud wit maths (economists) knows that for each $ spends on roads and bridges and other shit you ignore that you get “for” to sics $ back. This is called priming the pump or capital investment.

    Doing nothing means more crazy SW engineers fly planes into government buildings.

  5. WIDTAP

    [re=517745]Dean Booth[/re]: Ah but that’s the beauty of it. They do have jobs and they hang out all day on Facebook, because, you know, entitlement and all.

    Not like us Wonketteer posters.

  6. TGY

    [re=517748]Jim Demintia[/re]: It’s unfair to characterize America by the morons in it. 10% of any population is composed of morons. Granted, they’re all on Twitter.

  7. norbizness

    I love Ryan Healey’s haircut and wish to befriend him to see if there are any local salons that can replicate its amazingness.

  8. Rajul

    There is nothing wrong with being homosexual, which a guy named Randy who uses a picture of himself in a tight, ribbed wifebeater for his profile clearly is.

  9. freakishlystrong

    That’s not what you were elected to do. We could dig ol’ Ted up to vote like that- long as there’s a stiff whiskey for him.

    Looks like wishing for Dick’s death is back on the table, boys.

  10. HipHopOpotamus

    [re=517753]TGY[/re]: Don’t forget the 10% that is still on Myspace. Another 10%, largely of sexagenarians, who are on Facebook…And I guess I’ll include the 2% who are still lost on a GeoCities page, playing with their trailing ‘Lissa Explains it All’ cursors. So we’ve got 32% of the US covered thus far.

  11. Woodwards Friend

    I have a stimulus plan: build a special highway system for Republicans funded only by tolls. People would get good private sector jobs building the thing and Republicans can finally avoid those gross socialist public highways.

  12. bureaucrap

    Building highways won’t create jobs, because everyone knows highways just build themselves. You walk up to the highway building machine, stick in your credit card, say, “one highway, please” and voila!

  13. freakishlystrong

    NO, NO, NO!! NO JOBS!, NO FOR ANYTHING FOR TEH MIDDLE CLASS!!1

    So, I guess we only want bi-partisanship when there’s a wingnut in office. Y’know, like how all of a sudden deficits and debt are destroying the country.

  14. Larry McAwful

    As a Massachusetts resident, I’m loving reading the comments on Brown’s Facebook page. There’s occasional “You gotta do what you gotta do” kind of support for him, but mostly the comments are of the “YOU RINO RINO RINO DAMN YOU TO HELL SOCIALIST DOLCHSTOSS WHY ARE YOU NOT A PURE CONSERVATIVE LIKE RON PAUL” stripe.

    One guy from New Mexico commented, “I am no longer a supporter, Later Traitor.” (The comma splice and spontaneous capitalization were his, not mine.) There’s an old adage in Massachusetts politics that goes, “When people from New Mexico start calling you a traitor, you’re screwed.” Because who ever heard of winning elections in Massachusetts if you’re losing them in New Mexico?

  15. Nim, ham hock of liberty

    Scott Brown won’t know they’re serious until they point out that this was a SLAP IN THE FACE.

    In all caps.

  16. betterDeadThanRed

    [re=517750]ManchuCandidate[/re]: As a crazy software engineer I resent that remark. Just because some fanatical Muslims flew planes into building on 9/11 we didn’t start acting like all Muslims were terrorists…. I think I’m going to stop wearing my computer geek t-shirts to the airport.

  17. Larry McAwful

    Man, these Facebook comments are comedy gold. Louise Trout Brunstetter of York, Pennsylvania (not actually in Massachusetts) wrote, “And remind the senator he is now representative of all Americans – not just MA.” I didn’t realize the whole country was allowed to vote in Massachusetts’ Senate elections. I might have to move somewhere else, so I can get to vote in two different states’ elections, too.

  18. queeraselvis v 2.0

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Donny Harwood: Me seeing you shake Harrys hand and hugging him is as bad as that day i saw my grandma naked. Oh my excuse me im getting nauseated.

    Seriously. These people are precious!

  19. thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=517771]Larry McAwful[/re]: um We The People elected Scott Brown, not some gay-marryin’ health care-havin’ Mass-a-chew-sits commies! We The People! I yelled and shook my fist out of the TV then God-Jesus struck down Teddy and replaced him with Scott Brown. Scott Brown needs to get right with the Lord cuz my voting fist is starting to shake again!!

  20. betterDeadThanRed

    [re=517748]Jim Demintia[/re]: “how do these fucktards even get through the most routine tasks of daily life?”

    Government help.

  21. kewlguy42069

    Seriously, what the fuck does building roads have to do with jobs. Guess I won’t be voting for you next time around, Typical Lie-beral Scum. Peace, Todd from Illinois

  22. momus

    This just in — Scott Brown is not, repeat NOT a zombie — teabaggers furious. Will henceforth be known as “one-term” Scott Brown. Heck of a job Brownie.

  23. PlanetWingnuta

    i have no words at the ignorance just belly full of laughter…oh how i wish i had an emoticon…

  24. Larry McAwful

    [re=517780]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: I’m tempted to join the “STOP Scott Brown” Facebook page, just to make them feel better, because I don’t think they have anyone from Massachusetts in it yet. That page contains the ominous warning, “This is NOT a democracy, it is a constitutional representative republic. We need to keep it that way!!!” Whatever that means.

    Will I become the page’s 331st fan? It’s tempting, but there’s no way to be a cowardly, anonymous troll, so I’m going to take a pass.

  25. President Beeblebrox

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    Ahem… hee hee hee hee hee. HEE.

    Sen. Naked ran his campaign around it being Teh Peeplez Seet and all, right? Which presumably means he intended to represent ALL people of The Massachusetts, not just the 5% of Massachusetts folks who are Paultards, and the wingnuts/teabaggers/Paultards across our fruited plain who sent him money, did phonebanking for him, etc.

    And, of course, The Massachusetts is still a pretty blue state, notwithstanding all of the red-tinged areas here and there, and I bet Sen. Naked would like to get re-elected…

    In other words, HEE HEE HA HA HA WINGNUTZ, j00 4r3 pwn3d!!!

    Hilarious Paultard explosion is hilarious.

  26. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=517748]Jim Demintia[/re]:

    These are the people that cross busy streets against the light and flip off the drivers that beep at them as they slam on their brakes.

    These are the people that let their kids stick their grimy hands in the bulk bins at the grocery store for “free samples”.

    These are the people that scream about paying taxes and the potholes in their street all in one sentence.

    These are the people that blindly vote for anything with an R by their name because that’s what their daddy told them to do.

    These are the people that hate government and love their Medicare.

    Yes, these are the people that make American what it is today.

    *Now saluting a flag pin while humming God Bless America and trying not to gag*

  27. pampl

    I thought when Brown was trying to distance himself from Republicans and the wingnuts it was just to fool the sheeple, but all that time he was lying to us!!! How dare you not live up to the fantasies I projected on you!!!!!

  28. Cape Clod

    So if they delivered ice melt to Olympia Snowe’s office, what is Redstate going to ship to Brown’s address?

  29. President Beeblebrox

    Oh yeah, and I think Scott better watch out, because a Mr. Con Servative on The Facebooks is very, very upset with Scott. Very upset indeed, he is.

    Con Servative: You blew this one pal. [sic]

  30. thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=517791]Larry McAwful[/re]: Well, if your profile is set to private the only thing people will be able to see is your name and a tiny thumbnail of you in a tight camisole like our friend Randy up there.

  31. PlanetWingnuta

    [re=517798]Cape Clod[/re]: Diapers full of shit…adult diapers that is cause you know how old those teabaggers can be.

  32. HedonismBot

    This is the most awesomest thing ever!
    I keep saying, the quickest way to destroy the Republican “insurgency” is to exploit the wedge between the dumbfucks in the Teabag Party and the slightly-less-dumb fucks in the establishment GOP. I can only hope the only reason I don’t see stories everywhere bragging about this strategy is that Obama and his party are already following it, and too smart to tell everyone about it.

  33. HedonismBot

    [re=517807]HedonismBot[/re]: With this in mind, I would gladly donate munnies (if I had any not already earmarked for weed) and time to make Palin president of Teabagistan. Let’s do our part to make the next general election a three-way competition between Snowbilly, Mittens and Hopey.

  34. PlanetWingnuta

    boy those dipshits over at fox news (the commenters not the anchors this time) are having a melt down too…too glorious for words.

  35. Larry McAwful

    [re=517803]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: Good point. Although I’m something of an exhibitionist, so I like to let people find my profile and see all sorts of things about me. This might call for a fake persona. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ever pretended to be something I’m not, on the internet. My favorite was when I was a sixteen-year-old goth from Cleveland. However, I think being a pissed-off Glenn Beck-style conservative would be easier to pull off. I’ve got work to do!

  36. Darkness

    [re=517777]Larry McAwful[/re]: They were all allowed to send monies. And monies == votes.
    [re=517791]Larry McAwful[/re]: We need to keep it that way!!!” Whatever that means. I’m going to take a stab and say it means “no n______rs!”
    [re=517776]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: Really? As a lazy s/w engineer myself I’m a bit touch anyone expects I’d get off my lazy ass long enough to drive to where the airplanes are parked.

  37. DustBowlBlues

    What part of opportunistic naked guy did these people not get? Scott, begin soulless, exploited the stupidity of the wingers. Faux News and Hate Radio failed to mention this guy’s liberal attitude toward, well, most any social issue that comes down the old pike, if ya’ know what I mean. (wink, wink). Seriously–he’s in favor of gay rights and abortion. And, let’s face it, if he wants his daughter’s to marry “up”, thereby improving his society status, he can’t be hanging out with a bunch of ignorant yankee hillbillies with tea bags dangling from their sombreros. I mean, really.

  38. UncleTom

    [re=517798]Cape Clod[/re]: Pictures of naked men peforming the buttseks on each other, thrusting their engorged members into each other’s steamy orifices.

    Oh wait, that won’t work, where oh where would republicans ever find gay porn?

  39. Joshua Norton

    If the Gov. REALLY wanted to help the ‘baggers, they’d build more parks, Applbee’s and Holiday Inns. This would give them a chance to use their many job skills for mowing lawns, washing dishes and making beds. Which, coincidentally, are the jobs the Messicans are taking away from them.

  40. Darkness

    [re=517803]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: All his real friends (assuming he has them) would see that he joined. This is why it is essential to have several fake accounts on all of these there intertubebook things. So create a few now so you can use them later. That’s the lesson here.

  41. chowkster

    [re=517818]Darkness[/re]: Interesting. I am a lazy s/w engineer too (java and EAI) but I live in the socialist communist utopia that is Switzerland and not in the good old US America, so I have not yet felt the need to fly an airplane into any building.

  42. Larry McAwful

    [re=517825]Darkness[/re]: Nobody ever assumed I had friends before! I’m… I’m tearing up, here!

  43. JMP

    [re=517807]HedonismBot[/re]: The Democrats hardly have to do anything; the teabaggers are taking care of destroying the party themselves. Look at how they forced Spector to switch parties here & are trying to primary their last Presidential candidate with a total wingnut who will lose in the general election.

  44. Katydid

    [re=517758]Jim Demintia[/re]: [re=517761]norbizness[/re]: That reminds me of when I lived in South Carolina, and my neighbor Vita Lee’s granddaughter asked me, accusingly, “You’re not from around here, are you?” I asked her how she knew, figuring it was my Connecticut accent. She replied it was because of my hair, which was normal, I thought, very simple, just long and straight.

    I figured out what she was talking about when I got my hair cut locally. When the stylist was done, I didn’t look right, and then my husband started laughing really hard. He blurted out, as he was flattening the height achieved with tons of gel and hairspray, “They gave you Southern hair!” The only things missing were bows.

    Apologies to any Southern women here. This was a while ago; maybe styles have changed since then?

  45. thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=517825]Darkness[/re]: Hmm, I could have my old drag persona join some teabagger groups. I wonder how many wrinkly hoveround owners would message me offering to make a “good Christian woman” out of me!

  46. thejesusandmarycheney

    [re=517798]Cape Clod[/re]: if salt melts Snowe, then what kills Browns?

    Ah, they’ll mail him Donald Rumsfeld!

  47. Joshua Norton

    Look at how they forced Spector to switch parties here

    The only problem is Spector didn’t switch his idiotic ideology as well. He’s just another blue dog that votes with the repiggies most times.

  48. Mumbletypeg

    [re=517791]Larry McAwful[/re]: Please let us know when you have joined up as the group’s 666th member. I predict that your confidence in trolling this confederacy of dunces will experience a boost in proportion to fiendish affinity.

  49. PsycGirl

    [re=517838]Katydid[/re]: It depends. Huge bangs curled over the top = redneck. Helmet head = lady of leisure. We also have the modified-mullet-with-a-perm which people must ask for, but I cannot imagine why.

  50. loquaciousmusic

    I am a loser: I was supposed to start by grading vocabulary quizzes this morning, but I read abusive Facebook comments instead. Then I graded vocabulary quizzes. Priorities!

  51. Potater

    [re=517798]Cape Clod[/re]: Knowing RedState is a fan of the strained metaphor, PLEASE GOD let it be bags of pubes.

  52. The Silver Fox

    There really are some gems. And you don’t have to look very far.

    “Well I do NOT know whats in the “jobs bill”…”

    “I am very disappointed in your choice. I thought you were against spending. Government does not create jobs. Tax incentatives do.”

    “lier”

    “THEN WHY VOTE ON IT IF IT WERE NOT A PERFECT BILL SENATOR!! GLAD I DID NOT GIVE ANY OF MY HEAR EARNED MONEY TO U…. TRAITOR………………………………………………………………MR BENEIDICT ARNOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! u WILL BE VOTED OUT…………….”

  53. Prommie

    [re=517807]HedonismBot[/re]: What is this thing you call “establishment GOP?” I know not of this thing. I have heard rumors, rumors of old, half-forgotten legends, that there was once a faction of the GOP which was not composed of shouty hillbillies, rural pigfuckers, and aspergery paultard engineers who hate taxes and public highways, but these are surely just legends, aren’t they?

  54. The Silver Fox

    [re=517861]Potater[/re]: I can envision the Erick Erickson call to action now. ‘Scott Brown’s vote on Dirty Harry’s/No-bama’s government waste bill is a betrayal. Send Scott Brown a subscription to Cosmo and tell him to go back to modeling.’

  55. Darkness

    [re=517829]chowkster[/re]: See I blame MS Flight Sim for this. It’s always installed on SOME computer nearby. Very lazy.

    I’ve been to your Utopia on several occasions. Your obsessively disturbed clockwork culture (I couldn’t even buy some chocolates in Zurich without being hopelessly in someone’s way) does do me the favor of letting me identify (however briefly) with my red neck rightwing countrymen, which I would not have thought possible. So, kudos for that, I guess.

  56. Darkness

    [re=517833]Larry McAwful[/re]: Since I don’t have any, I always assume everyone else must. Where else do all these people meeting up for coffee come from?

  57. gurukalehuru

    [re=517753]TGY[/re]: Unfortunately, 10% of 300 million is 30 million. There are (and I would consider your estimate conservative) 30 million morons in the United States.

  58. FMA

    [re=517876]gurukalehuru[/re]: I don’t know. It seems like there are a lot more of them. Maybe it’s just because they’re so loud and proud of their idiocy.

  59. JMP

    [re=517855]Joshua Norton[/re]: He’s actually voting pretty much consistently liberal right now; although I’m sure that will change as soon as the primary is over, and he’ll be back to the same old centrist hack we all know and tolerate.

  60. MzNicky

    [re=517858]PsycGirl[/re]: Bah! I hadn’t read your comment when I posted about the mullet perm, I swear. I will now claim I was referring to the menz.

  61. iolanthe

    Did anybody on those comments threaten anyone else with “the raft of
    God that would disent on them”? I saw that somewhere in a wingnut comment pile-on recently.

    Not quite as awesome as the comparison of Gibbsy to “Hitler’s propaganda minister, Joseph Gerbils”, seen in another, conjuring up mental pictures of the Karl Rove of his day, scurrying evilly on his exercise wheel.

    Or the many times I’ve been type-screamed at about my “LIEberal rederick”

    But pretty awesome.

    Hoem scholers. Whatcha gonna do?

  62. TheRealJimbo

    I think it was Larry Niven who said “”There is no cause so noble that it will not attract some kooks.” Except it the case of the teabaggers, it’s like a goddamn tractor beam.

  63. iolanthe

    [re=517876]gurukalehuru[/re]: Doesn’t “30 Million Moron March” roll trippingly off the tongue?

    I feel a song coming on ….

  64. TheRealJimbo

    [re=517779]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: At least he said “naseated” instead of “nauseous”, though either would probably work in his case.

  65. iolanthe

    [re=517889]MzNicky[/re]: Holy shit! I’ve *seen* that permed mullet, on a 50-year-old administrative assistant from Oklahoma who used to undermine me to my boss, daily. She dyed it orangey-red, too. The perm was old, and the flaring-out mullet looked dry and scratchy. It almost had the shape of an ancient Egyptian headdress, or the hairstyle favored by Murderface in Metalocalypse.

  66. The Church of Realism

    [re=517755]Potater[/re]: I believe that poster was looking for a “Jerb”, totally different.

  67. iolanthe

    [re=517899]MzNicky[/re]: Not only did this woman sport that amazing hairstyle, she was the embodiment of what I think of now as “Those Fine Southern Manners”: She’d wander into my cube each day as I was attempting to churn out code, chirping & burbling, telling me how wonderful I was, how smart, how pretty, even sometimes trying to play with tendrils of my long hippie hair (ICK!?!?). She’d bring me unsolicited little nuggets of Floor Gossip (our large s/w corporation was Balkanized into warring factions that worked on different floors of the building) and generally act like a middle-aged Oklahoman Wormtongue … except with no casserole in hand.

    Then she’d take a private meeting with our mutual boss and tell her I was Satan, and a fraud, plus a real goldbrick who “wasted her time” and how the nice very gay Chinese boy upon whom she had a crush should get all my projects.

  68. momus

    [re=517864]Prommie[/re]: “establishment republican” is just another name for a RINO. When the loons get done, Lincoln will be thrown under the bus, and Jeff Davis will be the true Republican hero.

  69. Jumping Jim

    [re=517864]Prommie[/re]:

    Picture “Ike”
    You know, the Republican guy who built all of “I’s” like I 95, I 40, I 85 etc… you know, roads.

    Other names, Rockefeller, Scranton, Stevens, Dirkson. Yeah they all died 30 years ago. So did the Re[ublican Party – well brain dead anyway.

  70. RoscoePColtraine

    Some of these comments look like the work of our very own shortsshortsshorts. Where the fuck has he been lately, anyway?

  71. MzNicky

    [re=517903]iolanthe[/re]: She sounds just like this hideous fiend who worked in a friend’s office, physical description and all. This horrid old bag would always annoy my friend in particular over every fucking little thing, tut-tutting over fornication and blasphemy with her smug disapproving Church Lady Bible quotes and sniffy squirmy facial expressions. Fucking bitch. We hated her, and her stupid gross helmet-mullet hair especially.

  72. iLUVmyownsmell

    The fucktard teabaggers aren’t against building roads, they just want them to be built as toll roads by international corporations that support their re-elaction – Like the assfuck governor we have in office here in TX! BTW, I am praying to the same GOD that the teabaggers do – FOR DICKSUCK Cheney to fucking DIE!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your chest pains, COCKSUCKER!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  73. Durand

    “Looks like it took you about 10 minutes to drink the kool-aid Scott…..what a fake you are, you are a shame to pick-up trucks!”

    Hahaha! This one had to have been a stealth liberal. Too hilarious for a rethug.

  74. leftcoaster

    So, I have a theory. These enraged-to-the-point-of-incoherence teabaggers all have jobs, as 80 to 90% of us still do. They want a Republican landslide in November and know the chances of this are greater if the economy still sucks by then. So, they’re doing everything they can* to prevent legislators from doing anything that might get the economy back on track.

    *accusing elected representatives of other states of treason and homosexuality via Facebook.

  75. thatsnotwhattheymeant

    [re=518011]leftcoaster[/re]: Nah – they’re just stupid! I wonder what Scott Brown and Sarah Palin’s baby would look like? Probably pretty cute, even if it was a bigger tard than her current one!

  76. S.Luggo

    [re=517892]iolanthe[/re]:
    “#areyoukiddingme @scottbrown voted to increase spending to develop government jobs. He is a trader and should be watched closely.
    dunkball”

  77. HedonismBot

    [re=517864]Prommie[/re]: You’re probably not even reading this anymore, and I’m probably just typing to myself at this point. But, by “establishment Republican” I was referring to the teabaggers’ corporate masters.
    Sure, the baggers are having their little playtime in the sun right now. But, if the baggers ever start to threaten corporate profits (or wave their torches and pitchforks too violently in the direction of Wall Street and it’s multi-million-dollar bonuses) then it’s all over for the Teabag Brigade.

  78. Cheneysheart

    [re=518084]HedonismBot[/re]: That will certainly happen – look at how feigning outrage backfired on the little fuckstick McCain (when the old crazy lady with the fucktard hairdo called Obama “an Arab – a Muslin”)!! When you take advantage of retards, it always comes back to bite you in the ass!

  79. PsycGirl

    [re=517891]MzNicky[/re]: A hairstyle so remarkable should not be confined to one commenter. Especially as in my area, it is primarily seen on really heavy women; while not a good look for anyone it is especially unfortunate for someone who is kinda rectangular.

  80. iolanthe

    [re=518078]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh no! Not a trader to our country!

    Good God.

    Although, if he’s talking about stock traders, I can understand his confusion.

  81. iolanthe

    [re=518365]PsycGirl[/re]: Hey! That’s what this lady looked like, too! Like a small refrigerator wrapped in flower prints, with an orange mullethead on top.

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