Splashing the Wine With All the Rain Dogs

  daily briefing
  • Chuckling horror sack Dick Cheney is “resting comfortably” after his latest hospitalization for chest pains. America won’t be “resting comfortably” until his obituary is published. [Reuters]
  • Speaking of murdering civilians in poor countries, U.S. forces killed busloads of innocent women and children in Afghanistan on Sunday, because really, what are you going to do about it? [LA Times]
  • An Afghan immigrant to America admits he plotted a big terror attack against America. What would make an ungrateful immigrant from Afghanistan do such a crazy thing? [New York Times]
  • Remember that new Republican star, Senator Scott Brown? All the teabaggers hate his guts now. [Fox News]
  • Bob Dole is in the hospital, too. Bob Dole doesn’t like that. [CBC]
  • A friendly and handsome Great Dane living in Arizona has been named the world’s tallest dog, because he’s nearly twice John McCain’s height — and much smarter. [Phoenix New Times]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

46 comments

  1. joezoo

    One Tom Waits post title, shame on you. Two Tom Waits post titles, shame on… uh… a German dwarf dances with the butcher’s son?

  2. Yes, Nick-name

    “The election of Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA) energized Republicans that he would give them a critical 41st vote to help them block Democrats and filibuster key legislation.”

    WTF? How is that even a sentence?

  3. Texan Bulldoggette

    Darth just needs some waterboarding. That’ll take his mind off his chest pains. Draft-dodging whiny baby!

  4. Norbert

    “America won’t be “resting comfortably” until his obituary is published.”

    I made a crack in a bar last night about how Haig dying couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, and apparently it was considered a rude thing to say. I will be making even ruder remarks for the same crowd about Vice President Cheney in the not too distant future, perhaps. Although if he snuffs it, my dream of him wandering the streets of Baghdad without any security and indeed without any pants will never come true.

  5. joezoo

    If Cheney dies, will all the other torture-loving, fear-mongering, illegal-war-profiteering assholes turn back into humans?

  6. Larry McAwful

    Is it appropriate to speak so gleefully about Vice President Cheney’s health problems? Yes. Yes it is. (Donald Rumsfeld taught me to answer my own questions. It’s easy!)

  7. freakishlystrong

    Speaking of murdering civilians in poor countries
    A better lead off from the Voldermort story has never been written. Hazzzaaa.

  8. coolcatdaddy

    Actually, I think the proper phrase is “chuckling horror sack of bile” when referring to Cheney.

  9. freakishlystrong

    I said this on the last post, but it bears repeating. How come the stupid narrative in the the stupid “press” isn’t focused on the fact that the fucking Republicans were going to filibuster a JOBS bill, ferchissakes.

  10. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=517720]Norbert[/re]: Who is going to truly grieve when Cheney kicks? His family, Scooter Libby & the nutjobs at Fox. I personally will grieve more for the dead possum on the side of the road being chewed on by a vulture than Dick. Can’t wait to see Barry & Biden jabbing themselves in the eyes at the funeral to produce tears.

  11. FMA

    Why am I suddenly gripped by a overwhelming desire to buy “Air jordan” or “BOOT” or “Nike shox”?

  12. Rajul

    Look, I love snark as much as the next guy, but when I see pre-pubescent and nascent child molester Sean Hannity and starvin-himself-’til-his-dick-falls-off Adam “Ann” Coulter and all his homo-fantasy havin’ fans celebrating and laughing about the long, slow, painful death of Ted Kennedy, I think, I am so determined to not be like these puddles of diarrhea that I’m not going to respond in kind to the death of dick Cheney, even though he deserves it, and even though the rest of the world no doubt will. Is that wrong?

  13. Potater

    We’re good, people. Now we’ve got 27 years until Cheney’s hibernation is over and he will rise again from the sewers of a small Maine suburb.

  14. Potater

    [re=517734]Rajul[/re]: The difference is Ted Kennedy killed one woman by accident, and then saved millions of a nation’s children. Dick Cheney did the reverse.

  15. plowman

    Well, what the fuck were those women and children doing in such a dangerous place as Afghanistan in the first place? Children and Family Services should investigate those families immediatly!

  16. betterDeadThanRed

    Cheney’s had two angioplasties, quadruple bypass surgery and a pacemaker. What the hell kind of health insurance does the guy have? Oh – never mind.

    Next Sunday the pundits will be asking “Would Cheney die under Obama-care.” I gleefully say Yes! Yes! Yes! Bring on the death panels!

  17. Rajul

    [re=517736]Potater[/re]: Wait, Dick Cheney saved someone? Or are you referring to how Dick Cheney saved himself, in the form of 5 deferments, because he’s such a whiny, cowardly bitch?

    And also, I just think that celebrating death and suffering is really the bailiwick of the teabaggers, even though they won’t admit it, ’cause “bailiwick” sounds gay and there’s no way a teabagger would ever gargle the marbles of another dude wearing colonial garb.

  18. WIDTAP

    Regarding Giant George the Dog:

    “The show claims he was given his own row of seats on an American Airlines flight to Chicago — even J-Lo only requires one seat.”

    Beats being seated next to Kevin Smith.

    What? Too soon?

  19. Up To Here Again

    Can’t you just see Dick in his wheely chair,
    flying down the Giant Slalom

    Wheeee!

    Ooops!

    Ccccccccccccrrrrrrrraaaaaaaassssssshhhhh!

  20. Fred Wertham Jr.

    [re=517760]WIDTAP[/re]:
    “The show claims he was given his own row of seats on an American Airlines flight to Chicago — even J-Lo only requires one seat.”

    But J-Lo’s ass requires two rows.

  21. MzNicky

    [re=517730]freakishlystrong[/re]: Oh freakishly strong, you’re just adorable! ANY kind of bill will cost hardworking teabaggers TAX MONEY!! and the DEFICIT and so forth and so on and I don’t know what all! Why do you hate China?

  22. Surfeit O'

    I think Death will be sad when it finally comes time to shoot Dick in the face; he’s been one of his best agents, after all.

  23. Darkness

    If God actually electrocutes old Dick Cheney for his crimes, I may have to stop in a church somewhere, to thank Him. Then walk out and proceed to disbelieve in him again. Rest Easy indeed.

    Added: OMG, the man’s heart first tried to escape the evil sloshing around in his soul when he was 37! Fuck modern medicine. Fuck it with a bag of dicks.

    Nevermind, God kept this bitch alive all these years. Fuck Him.

  24. Berkeley Bear

    [re=517732]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Do you think Liz (either one) will allow un-Amurrikanns like the Usurper and Smiley Guy at the Great One’s triumphal victory over life celebration?

  25. Darkness

    [re=517734]Rajul[/re]: Is it wrong, well, no, Mr. Rajul Gandhi (if that’s your real name). But flaunting it like you just did lost you a few points.

  26. WadISay

    [re=517730]freakishlystrong[/re]: My local headline is something like, “Jobs Bill Passes with GOP Support.” The “support” of course being the five senators whose staffs, even now, are unwrapping fishes wrapped in bulletproof vests.

  27. The Other Sarah T

    As long as there’s misery & injustice & war in this world, Dick Cheney will always be with us.

  28. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=517942]Bluerinse[/re]: I’m sorry; but if you grow up, you can’t be a Wonkette. That’s one of the rules.

Comments are closed.