THIS SHIT IS BANANAS  12:37 pm February 22, 2010

CPAC Monkey Only Illustrates Metaphorical Wildness of Federal Government

by Ken Layne

'I'm a fleabit peanut monkey, All my friends are junkies ... That's not really true'
Here, Jonathan Chait, add this to your files. (And yes, we agree that your magazine should stop calling everyone JEW HATERS.) [Foto Funny by Garrett Quinn]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 42 comments }

Texan Bulldoggette February 22, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Did Garrett get hazardous duty pay because being that close to all the crazies has got to be dangerous for your health/sanity?

kilgoretrout February 22, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Does the monkey enter a wet t-shirt contest?

sezme February 22, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Overheard at CPAC: “Hey Jonah! Someone needs to blow the monkey again.”

Buzz Feedback February 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

What is Julius from Yo Gabba Gabba doing at CPAC?

Mustang February 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm

What sort of shape was the government in before we got the current negro monkey in office?

Tommmcatt February 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Monkey needs pants.

ElitistMarxist February 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

[re=517052]sezme[/re]: Nah… see we’re keeping that push pin in it (pressure point?) b/c we need to keep it limp. We don’t want our folks to feel, uh, threatened… and there are a few white women around, so we need to keep a sense of, uh, decency…

June Cleaver 2.0 February 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Because Repubs don’t have serious policy and aren’t interested in implementing any policy, they can sit around all day making up stupid supposedly funny comments and memes about the Dems and the Prez. They have that Beavis and Butthead thing down to a tee. And sadly, a lot of it works. It reminds me of a clip Wonkette posted where a guy tried to state his policy issues, and all the opponent did was sit out on his porch, relentlessly saying booooo. So much so until the serious politician had to move. How do you beat up on a clown and not look silly?

SayItWithWookies February 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

This monkey’s gone to dystopia.

hedgehog February 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm

That leg that’s partially obscured? Not a leg … hence the monkey’s broad smile.

sanantonerose February 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm

CPACers aren’t really into subtlety, are they?

megs February 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm

wow, I wasn’t expecting that George Bush would make an appearance.

JMP February 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Now, there’s nothing racist going on there. By conflating a pun on a porn series about drunken sexcapades and the image of a monkey, they must be referencing, um, let’s see; they’re referencing the Monkey Business and the famed Heart-Rice photo. Yep, that’s it; they’re just joking about a 22-year-old sex scandal, not being racist at all.

See how simple it is when you follow Chait’s advice, and just pretend nothing can possibly be racist, no matter how overtly racist it appears?

proudgrampa February 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=517064]sanantonerose[/re]: Are you kidding? Lots of them still think Steven Colbert is one of them…

Gorillionaire February 22, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Well, it is about time for someone in Wingnuttia to issue one of those public statements that goes like “well gosh I am SO SORRY that no one else has a SENSE OF HUMOR and can get the JOKE that so obviously didn’t mean to be RACIST at all about the lazy coloreds”.

eclecticbrotha February 22, 2010 at 1:02 pm

That monkey IS a bag of dicks.n

coolcatdaddy February 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Only at a Conservative Confab could one find a monkey blow-up doll….

thesheriffisnear February 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Repukes are sooo funny with their tired attempts at demeaning humor. The irony of all this monkey business is that it’s W who actually looks like a monkey; though not quite as smart.

http://www.funny.co.uk/stuff/art_175-1101-BushMonkeys.html

Pithaughn February 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Or as famous hair piece model Howard Cosel would say, “wow,look at that little monkey govern”

V572625694 February 22, 2010 at 1:12 pm

All the best paragraphs in TNR begin with “In general, it seems to me…”:

“In general, it seems to me that the right and left treat accusations of racism and anti-Semitism in completely parallel ways. The right casually flings around accusations of anti-Semitism in discussions of the Middle East, and is interested in racism primarily insofar as it is a false accusation by the left intended to intimidate Obama’s critics. The left, by contrast, casually flings about accusations of racism, and is interested in anti-Semitism primarily insofar as it is a false accusation by the right intended to intimidate Israel’s critics.”

Can anyone explain this seemingly meaningless string of characters cloaked in the form of a rational argument?

DustBowlBlues February 22, 2010 at 1:13 pm

[re=517061]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: I always look for June and read her posts first because they make sense and are funny without using the cheap trick the rest of us employ, fucking obscenities.

Prommie February 22, 2010 at 1:19 pm

The monkey is metaphor for their belief that blacks are inferior to whites.

sati demise February 22, 2010 at 1:20 pm

[re=517061]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: they found out the Beavis/Butthead routine does not work so well if Obama is actually in the room….
oops!

Extemporanus February 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

CHIMPTITS OR GTFO!

DustBowlBlues February 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Why doesn’t someone more clever than I send some footage of Stack’s daughter calling her father a hero for flying a plane into a building? Hey, kidz, one of you get on that.

I’m tellin’ ya, Ken, you could have made a fortune (if you are completely soulless) by making up a bunch of Tim McVeigh tee-shirts, emphasizing the crazy gleam in his baby blues, with a caption, “Our Hero” or better yet, with a cross striped blue, white and red (channeling “Hair”) behind him and send Young Riley into the Place of Crazy to sell them.

The wingers wanted Timmy dead, deader and deadest (without a trial, fucking Bill of Rights) for killing 168 people. Now I’ll bet they’re sorry he isn’t around to inspire their zaniness. And think how he’d love watching CPAC on the teevee in his cell.

Extemporanus February 22, 2010 at 1:26 pm

[re=517064]sanantonerose[/re]: Monkey CPAC, monkey do.

JMP February 22, 2010 at 1:26 pm

[re=517077]V572625694[/re]: Meaning: “We at the “even the liberal New Republic” are now nonpartisan and objective, so I will engage in false equivalency in order to claim that both sides are equally culpable of the same bad acts. There, we’re balanced! Now time to attack liberals for acknowledging racism instead of pretending we’re now color-blind.”

Long Form Def Certificate February 22, 2010 at 1:27 pm

[re=517077]V572625694[/re]: As with fellow Brookings Fellow & New Republic contributing ed. Greggggggggg Easterbrook, Chait is an amoebic DC insider on the outside. He has no elected position, but knows better than anyone how things should go: generally, statically, everything’s fine (unless it’s not, like asteroid strikes that will DESTROY EARTH (Greggggggggg was harping on this in his last Tues AM Quarterback column of the ’09 season)). Any problems, which are not really problematic, will just fade away if you ignore them. Like racism — supposed racism — & antisemitism — all too real, but really, just windbaggery.

Snarkalicious February 22, 2010 at 1:28 pm

[re=517072]coolcatdaddy[/re]: The confab is bonus. I bet that monkey plays a lot of private gigs, also.

Canmon (the Inadequate) February 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm

[re=517077]V572625694[/re]: It means that to be bi-partisan you must hate both blacks and jews.

ElitistMarxist February 22, 2010 at 1:43 pm

[re=517077]V572625694[/re]: fairness gone wild

V572625694 February 22, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=517094]JMP[/re]: [re=517095]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Thanks for the exegesis, folks. Now I understand that the truth lies somewhere between those (well, the one) who say(s) Stack is a heroic freedom fighter and those who say he’s a wannabe terrorist douchebag.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 22, 2010 at 1:47 pm

[re=517077]V572625694[/re]: Simple; they’re just following the “George Orwell logical progression model as explained by M.C. Escher,” to wit: Black has always been white, up has always been down, EastAsia has always been at war with Oceania. FIN.

Prommie February 22, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Hey, this is something new for that “conservative intellectual” dude who is always declaring the End of Stuff can write about, that Fukuyama fucker. The End of Racism.

DustBowlBlues February 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm

[re=517094]JMP[/re]: This lazy ass balanced journalism is shit and is as almost as responsible for how fucked up this society is as the screaming Breitbarts and the rich Pickens, who bankrolled the swift boat liars.

Make a crazy claim, then wait for the “media” to ask how the side being attacked responds to it, then go back to the originator of the lie. Don’t ever, ever, bother doing a little work to find out if any of this bullshit is genuine before you start reporting it as if it were.

Too bad only the wingers resort to this kind of shit–shouldn’t the “liberal media” have figured that out by now? And ditto on taking a golf club to Hitchens.

DemmeFatale February 22, 2010 at 2:17 pm

“I guess I’m a racist.”

Yeah, I guess you are, and no one (I’m looking at you, Bill Maher) can tell me otherwise.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 22, 2010 at 2:22 pm

But what of the blow-up, laser-eyed sheep?

June Cleaver 2.0 February 22, 2010 at 2:48 pm

[re=517078]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Thanks, but if I tried to swear while trying to be funny, you will just see how corny I am. Still, sometimes I wish I was BitchinCamaro.

Magnus Maximus February 22, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Let’s just get down to brass tacks…did that monkey end up showing its tits?

Aurelio February 22, 2010 at 3:31 pm

[re=517078]DustBowlBlues[/re]:
June’s posts make sense and are funny? Oh, I dunno.

S.Luggo February 22, 2010 at 4:04 pm

[re=517061]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]:
A: Use an axe handle and a set of rusty tire chains.

rocktonsammy February 22, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Tripp?

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