BRING BACK MOUTHPIECE THEATER!  9:30 am February 22, 2010

Dana Milbank Still Thinks Rahm Emanuel Is Awesome Even If Everybody Else Wants Him Fired

by Sara K. Smith

Nobody reads Wonkette anymore.Everybody used to love Rahm Emanuel, the nine-and-a-half fingered dancing star, because he said “fuck” a lot and was considered, if not “Washington hot,” at least “hypertensive rage-filled arrogant monster hot.” But a year after the president’s chief of staff jet├ęd into office, everybody hates him, except for Dana Milbank, which is honestly not much better than being universally despised.

Obama’s first year fell apart in large part because he didn’t follow his chief of staff’s advice on crucial matters. Arguably, Emanuel is the only person keeping Obama from becoming Jimmy Carter.

Obama chose the profane former Clinton adviser for a reason. Where the president is airy and idealistic, Rahm is earthy and calculating. One thinks big; the other, a former House Democratic Caucus chair, understands the congressional mind, in which small stuff counts for more than broad strokes.

So the next time you look around and wonder why we don’t have any Iranian hostage crisis on our hands, it’s RAHM and YOU’RE WELCOME.

Why Obama needs Rahm at the top [Washington Post]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


norbizness February 22, 2010 at 9:37 am

I can’t believe Tiny Tim is fellating Adam Arkin like this.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 22, 2010 at 9:40 am

Shorter Dana Milbank: “Why can’t I get me some of that hot Obama love? WHYYYYYYYYY?”

Papas got a brand new teabag February 22, 2010 at 9:42 am

milbank doesn’t really believe rahm should stay. he’s just using this as a trope to beat the “obama’s first year was a total failure” meme.

Crank Tango February 22, 2010 at 9:46 am

So Rom is a pointilliste? And what does that make Barry then? Or when they say stroke, is that a sex thing, like it’s not the size of the bill, it’s the motion for cloture?

red sky February 22, 2010 at 9:47 am

I read the hyperlink as Why Obama needs Rham on top, and was wierded out, b/c wouldn’t they both be tops? How does that work?

thejesusandmarycheney February 22, 2010 at 9:49 am

[re=516904]red sky[/re]: They’d be doing the Eiffel Tower with Milbank. Ooh la la!

Texan Bulldoggette February 22, 2010 at 9:50 am

The Washington Post features Milbank & torture cheerleader Marc Thiessen. Gee, those staff meetings must be a blast … so much stupidity & evil in one room.

WadISay February 22, 2010 at 9:51 am

Rahm would be more effective if he didn’t start every conversation with, “Shit-piss, Mr. President, I fucking advise…”

ForTheTurnstiles February 22, 2010 at 9:52 am

Maybe when Milbank grows up he’ll get to be big and strong like silver-haired J Mascis.

JMP February 22, 2010 at 9:53 am

These Washington insiders didn’t seem to realize that the Simpsons line with a Springfielder calling Jimmy Carter “history’s greatest monster” was a joke. It’s like they’ve all decided that his presidency was the most failed ever, facts be damned; you didn’t hear them constantly worrying that W. would turn out like the more recent Republican one-termer even though there was a good objective reason to compare those two.

V572625694 February 22, 2010 at 10:02 am

[re=516915]JMP[/re]: When Republans start publicly fapping to misty Reagan memories, it’s always entertaining to remind them that whenever any shitty little country wanted to lend legitimacy to their elections, they called Jimmeh, not Ronnie. Try it! They get all apoplectic on ya.

bitchincamaro February 22, 2010 at 10:04 am

So basically, Obama should have heeded Rahm’s advice and failed his constituency, but instead, failed politiclly by taking his own advice, managing nonetheless, to fail his constituency. Do I have that right?

artbot2000 February 22, 2010 at 10:08 am

[re=516899]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:

There is no shorter Dana Milbank. This was one of those zen paradox thingies, wasn’t it?

hedgehog February 22, 2010 at 10:09 am

Girl’s name
Dresses in drag
Enamored of small Jewish men

Just saying

Norbert February 22, 2010 at 10:12 am

Jimmy Carter had hemorrhoids.
Rahm keeps Barry from being Jimmy.
Ergo, Rahm keeps Barry from getting hemorrhoids.
Ergo, Presidential Medal of Freedom.

JMP February 22, 2010 at 10:14 am

[re=516919]V572625694[/re]: But but … malaise! Inflation! And don’t forget his silly attempts to get the US using less fossil fuels; we’re so much better off since Reagan rescinded them.

Mr Blifil February 22, 2010 at 10:18 am

needs moar clever beer analogies

artbot2000 February 22, 2010 at 10:19 am


Also, it’s remarkable how quickly they turn from retro-fappage to predatory rage. It’s their one truly impressive move, and you could see the baby republicans practicing it all week at their furry convention.

lawrenceofthedesert February 22, 2010 at 11:03 am

Rahm and his brother Ream Emanuel (“emanuel” meaning “only available online”) were abandoned by wolves at Chicago’s Lincoln park Zoo as babies and raised by a pack of Daley precinct captains, or maybe I have it backwards. Rahm’s first words — “Tutu this!” — indicated that his future lay not in ballet, but in Chicago politics, but you can’t major in Chicago politics. No one doubted his sincerity after he literally gave someone the finger. next stop: the White House (a figure of speech). Eat your heart off, “Biography”!

BadKitty February 22, 2010 at 11:18 am

I think Obama would look hot in a cardigan sweater. So would Rahm, actually. Let’s get those White House thermostats turned down!

dijetlo February 22, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=516919]V572625694[/re]: and the part about Ronnie PAYING to keep Americans hostage in Iran until after the election doesn’t seem to penetrate the conservative mind either.
Ronald Reagan, traitor to the United States, deserved to hang.
Instead, they name an airport after him.

DC Hates Me February 22, 2010 at 11:20 am

I agree with him and go further:
-Bo Obama should be replaced by Rahm as #1 dog.
-POTUS Weekly Radio Address (which no one listens to) should be Rahm Venting Time.

Mad Brahms February 22, 2010 at 11:22 am

[re=516898]norbizness[/re]: This is the best mental image ever, outside of this week’s Cartoon Violence coverage.

When will Obama become terrified of swamp rabbits? Next logical step, is all.

dijetlo February 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

Why is our Wonkette buying into the “Obama is a failure” meme anyway?
Sure, he hasn’t sent an Air Force spy plane over mainland China to ram one of their vintage MIGs sending the Chinese Pilot spiraling to his death and leaving our highly classified spy plane and crew parked on the tarmac of the Wi Bang Yung military airport.
Admittedly, he’s not invaded a dusty shithole with the expressed intent of capturing two men and then failed to capture either of them (though we still have the other 3 million inhabitants under lock and key) but that’s no reason to call him a failure.
He fucked up health care reform, doesn’t that at least make him a minor “Decider”?

FlownOver February 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=516970]dijetlo[/re]: Appropriately, though, that airport is truly f’ed up.

JMP February 22, 2010 at 11:35 am

[re=516970]dijetlo[/re]: It doesn’t matter how brazen the action is; Reagan’s deal with Iran helped get Carter out of the White House, and embarrass him, and that makes it patriotic. Of course, that one the modern Republicans usually just try to deny.

Similarly, the Iran-Contra deal was justified because it stuck it to the Communists, and perhaps more importantly because it was a Republican doing it. Remember, these are people for whom Nixon’s only crime was in getting caught.

artpepper February 22, 2010 at 11:40 am

According to Dana, Obama’s first year was a miserable failure because:

- Republicans hate him for trying to close Gitmo.

- Republicans hate him for trying KSM.

- Republicans hate health care.

Best line in the piece: “Emanuel argued for a smaller bill with popular items [...] that could win some Republican support.” Of course! That would totally have happened!

JMP February 22, 2010 at 11:47 am

[re=516981]dijetlo[/re]: It’s the Post, not Wonkette, that’s spreading to the Obama-is-a-failure meme; and they’re not exactly buying into it, they’ve been one of its prime pushers since January 21, 2009. And they’d be pushing that meme even if Obama gave us all free energy made out of Rainbows, and unicorn ponies to ride to work.

[re=516982]FlownOver[/re]: That would be a fitting tribute. Somehow, I imagine older air traffic controllers don’t care for the name.

artpepper February 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

[re=516993]JMP[/re]: Made out of rainbows? Is this part of Obama’s homosexualist agenda? And the unicorn ponies — obviously an attempt to destroy the nation’s oil companies, who are the only ones standing between us and Al Gore’s fascist communist one-world eco-state. It’s a trap!

JMP February 22, 2010 at 12:07 pm

[re=516999]artpepper[/re]: See, they’d find some way to define it as bad. Hell, as above they still love dumping on Carter, among other things for trying to develop energy literally made of sunshine; even though hindsight proves he was right.

SayItWithWookies February 22, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Had it gone Emanuel’s way, a politically popular health-care bill would have passed long ago, leaving plenty of time for other attractive priorities, such as efforts to make college more affordable.

Pfff — had it gone Rahm’s way, a healthcare bill full of tax cuts for insurance corporations, a big dollop of tort reform, a giveaway to pharmaceutical companies and no change for the uninsured would’ve passed, and we all could’ve dusted off our hands and congratulated each other. Yeah, why didn’t we try that? Assuming of course, that the Republicans would’ve voted for anything, even their own ideas, that might have redounded to Democractic merit points, which is doubtful.

proudgrampa February 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Frankly, I think Rahm is hurting the administration more than helping. He should go.

Strongy O February 22, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Dana Milbank’s a man?

The Other Sarah T February 22, 2010 at 12:54 pm



earnestcivilservant February 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Look at the picture that appears with the article. Totally Brokeback Mountain. Put a couple of cowboy hats on them, and there you go.

qaf February 22, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Emanuel’s Obama’s Sununu. That is all.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: