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PREPARE THE BLIMP!The only thing Republicans and teabaggers hate more than Barack Obama is, uh, every single Republican “front runner.” This became comedically clear again, last night, when the CPAC crowd chose Doctor Ron Paul as their 2012 GOP nominee for president. Paul got 31% of the vote, which means he literally performed an abortion murder on Mitt Romney, who usually wins these things because he’s such an asshole — Romney finished with 22%, proving once again that he can’t even get a fourth of the room to like him, even when that room is exclusively filled with Republicans.

But the “world’s biggest loser” of the night was truly our Alaskan Quitter Bear, the Facebook user Sarah Palin. Nobody likes her at all! She ended up with a patriotic “fuck you” of 7%, but at least that was better than unloved has-beens Pawlenty (6%) and Gingrich (4%) and Huckabee (4%). [USA Today]

SECRET SPY-NUMBERS MESSAGE TO GARRETT QUINN: WE NEED FOTOS FROM LAST NIGHT, QUICK! ALSO MAKE JIM GET UP, DRESS HIM AS A FURRY HUCKABEE, TIE HIM TO A HOUSEKEEPING CART AT THE HOTEL, TWITTER THE DETAILS, ETC.

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