CPAC IS WEIRD  3:56 pm February 19, 2010

Ha Ha Ha, It’s A Funny Joke About Joe Stack At CPAC

by Jim Newell

Here is President-Viceroy Sir Buttfuckington of Human Events introducing his best friend in history, Grover Norquist, who has been so edgy about his difficult life recently and could very well be planning to blow up his own Austin IRS building in the near future, ha ha ha. Good thing that terrorist yesterday was white and we can make jokes about it, 9/11 having killed irony and such like. [YouTube]

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mamandesfilles February 19, 2010 at 4:00 pm

What? Too soon for a joke about a deranged asshat flying into a building and destroying Federal property and killing and injurying Federal employees?

jetjaguar February 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm

[re=516321]mamandesfilles[/re]: It’s OK as long as he tries to set fire to his family first. DUH

WickedWitch February 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

*Sound of intense waves of retching*

BigDupa February 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

More like editor of “Human Excrement”

gurukalehuru February 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

There is no low so low that they won’t go there.

SmutBoffin February 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

You think everything is funny, don’t you Norquis?

Woodwards Friend February 19, 2010 at 4:03 pm

And then Tim Pawlenty said:

“Tiger Woods is holding a press conference at 11 o’clock this morning. I think we can learn a lot from that situation…She said enough. She said no more. I think we should take a page out of her book. We should take a 9 iron and smash the window out of big government in this country.”


Scooter February 19, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Grover’s weapon of death is a bathtub. Everyone knows that.

Sharkey February 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Can we fly a plane into Grover’s head for him?

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

This is what killed stand-up.

SayItWithWookies February 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

It’s too bad nobody in Texas has drowned their children in a bathtub recently, because that would’ve been a much better fit.

Oldskool February 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

If he doesn’t do the kamikaze thing, there’s always death panels.

madtowngooner February 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

No, Norquist is just an unindited co-conspirator, which allows you to become an elder statesman like Nixon.

Larry McAwful February 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Hey, Grover? If the beard hasn’t taken this far into your adult life, maybe you should just give up, you know?

memzilla February 19, 2010 at 4:10 pm

I would like to see Grover Asskist legally estopped from using anything in the USA which is paid for by taxes, including highways, phone lines, public airways, public airports, electric grids, sewers, water mains, police protection, etc.

He can use his passport to deport himself to f***in’ Somalia or Zimbabwe or Antarctica or some other place where people get exactly the gummint their taxes pay for.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 19, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Tsk, Grover. Your Madame Defarge side is showing a wee bit too much, methinks.

brown_recluse February 19, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Wow. These people are shit.

Fred Wertham Jr. February 19, 2010 at 4:13 pm

[re=516352]memzilla[/re]: No need. He can just go to Colorado Springs.

JMP February 19, 2010 at 4:14 pm

And here, I thought it would take a while for the Teabagger celebration of the terrorist to expand beyond the random Facebook users; and Scott Brown. But no, the CPAC heads are already comparing themselves to him, positively.

We’re all doomed, aren’t we?

Snarkalicious February 19, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=516332]SmutBoffin[/re]: [re=516333]Woodwards Friend[/re]: Oh, these crazy kids and their up to the minute topical humor. So much fun. Does Sessions have something on collapsed minarets for us?

Rodney Badger February 19, 2010 at 4:17 pm

He clearly didn’t think before he spoke. He is obviously quite drained.

Prommie February 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=516357]JMP[/re]: Yes. We are doomed. My advice is to begin drinking heavily. If you have been drinking heavily, drink more heavily.

Scooter February 19, 2010 at 4:20 pm

[re=516352]memzilla[/re]: That’s been my contention for years. There are already a bunch of countries where bootstrap conservatives would be in heaven. Why don’t they move there and quit fucking with my country.

Hooray For Anything February 19, 2010 at 4:20 pm

So let me get this straight-

Making jokes about somebody who flew a plane into an IRS building– totally hilarious!

Calling people retarded-maybe the most offensive thing a person can do other than skull fucking the corpse of a nun (unless you’re Rush Limbaugh in which case it’s totally hilarious!)

lawrenceofthedesert February 19, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Interestingly, he did not get any big laughs that I could discern with the tasteless joke. We better give CPAC credit where it’s due — because there is almost no place where it is. Or maybe it’s just that they’re humorless as well as idiots. (Sorry, CPAC, your credit has not been approved.)

JMP February 19, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=516362]Prommie[/re]: 1/2 an hour of work left, then it’s off to the bar; somehow I’m thinking they’ll be some shots mixed in with the beer tonight.

CanadianBacon February 19, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Sure must suck big time when the biggest problem in your life is having to pay taxes because you are wealthy. Speaking of pledges, too bad Grover’s mother didn’t take the pledge of abstinence years ago.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

[re=516361]Rodney Badger[/re]: … but d/d free.

Smoke Filled Roommate February 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

[re=516362]Prommie[/re]: you forgot “every day”. Already there!

RoscoePColtraine February 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

As the Duke of Buttfuckingtonshire, I demand that this piece of filth be disowned, dislodged, dislocated and finally, disembowled for his utter lack of shame. The Buttfuckington name will not be associated and consequently sullied with such horrid lack of humor. Snark FAIL, indeed. Quite indeed.

Prommie February 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

I don’t know if I am gonna make it.

germansteel February 19, 2010 at 4:35 pm

If I was related to either of the people killed in that terrorist act, I’d personally make it my business to find this asshole’s home address. Just to drop by sometime and pass the time of day. Maybe with my golf clubs, including a heavy-soled wedge.

snideinplainsight February 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm


* Too Gay, Couldn’t Finish

american mutt February 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Let’s see…

What if there were a liberal equivalent? “Good thing Obama wasn’t shooting white people with a sniper rifle from that clock tower!”

Imagine the ensuing hoopla…

ph7 February 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I wonder if Ted Olson was there enjoying that joke.

PopeyesPipe February 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm

These Amway conventions get more raw and uncensored every year. Edgy!

teebob2000 February 19, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Turd: Ladies and germs, my friend — who didn’t kill people yesterday, because he’s upset — Turd.

RoscoePColtraine February 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Also, did anybody else here happen to catch the walking non sequitur Ann Coulter on the teevee with Cuban heartthrob Rick Sanchez? She really has got everything figured out. For instance, Clinton didn’t really hand Bush a budget surplus because it was all projected, which really doesn’t count at all. The second great depression that Dubya left us with was merely some sort of manifested alternate possibility that existed all along!

Whew! I learned so much, my fucking head is pounding and ready to explode!

ForTheTurnstiles February 19, 2010 at 4:55 pm

skoalrebel’s Paultardish younger cousin: “Joe Stack is a Hero.”

If your heroes are terrorists and you hate America, sure.

Snarkalicious February 19, 2010 at 4:57 pm

[re=516422]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: That’s what he said. Hey-o!

Jebus nosefuckers am I glad it’s friday. That was literally the best thing I had left in the bag.

doxastic February 19, 2010 at 5:00 pm

And halfway across the world, a Hamas member is rethinking his edgy joke about Khaled Meshal’s location after a Jerusalem suicide bombing.

JMP February 19, 2010 at 5:08 pm

[re=516422]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Hm, sounds like Coulter’s offering a theory of quantum economics, one in which the observed deficit wave collapse occurs in such a way that anything bad is a Democrat’s fault; anything good a Republican’s.

lochnessmonster February 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

I can’t beleive people actually laughed at that!!!

Escape Goat Nation February 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm

I’m just not thinking they’re getting the irony of making a joke about a Government hating maniac trying to destroy and kill…well…the Government and it’s workers at convention that’s purpose is to get them to run the Government.

Accordion-o-rama February 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm

It’s interesting that, other than the tasteless joke, the focus of the introduction was on identifying people who were not real conservatives (not signing Grover’s tax pledge “raises a big red flag”). Lovin’ de bombz and hatin’ de browns is evidently not quite enough these days.

steverino247 February 19, 2010 at 5:33 pm

[re=516367]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Today we are all nun corpse skull fuckers? Eww!

Cicada February 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm

[re=516470]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: They do want to run it, into the ground. Just think about how successful W and his ilk were at destroying the government from the inside. Michael Brown as head of FEMA, classic! Global warming denier heading the EPA, inspired!

I can’t think of a more effective way to destroy the government than to put incompetents in positions of authority.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla February 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Stack, Norquist, Pawlenty and King – a cavalcade of original thinkers.

pants of doom February 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

They’re trying to incite the wingtards to anarchy. Flying planes into buildings to make statements? Oh har har! Super fun and easy. DO IT!

Too bad everyone is poor/cold/starving/homeless to rise up. Burning a dumpster? Maybe. For warmth.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Cut them some slack. They thought that Babbin said, “Ryder Rental truck.”

BlueStateLibtard February 19, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Well, after seeing all these photos from CPAC, the Repubatards can at least say that pound-for-pound they outweigh the Dems. Geez, ever heard of Jenny Craig, guy?

Pandy February 19, 2010 at 7:38 pm

[re=516333]Woodwards Friend[/re]: And then she took $50 million to STAY with him. Yes we can learn A LOT from Elin.

eclecticbrotha February 19, 2010 at 7:41 pm

The only thing more offensive than that joke was the musical interlude they played when Norquist waddled up to the mic.

rocktonsammy February 19, 2010 at 9:04 pm

It would have been nice if Joe Stack had a hard on for cpac instead of the irs.

zhubajie February 19, 2010 at 9:43 pm

One of Stack’s complaints was the a bunch of Air Force bases were closed. Apparently he didn’t want to pay taxes, but he wanted a tax-funded salary.

If he was so poor, how could he afford a house, an airplane, two wives, etc.?

Zhu Bajie

slowuncle February 19, 2010 at 9:47 pm

[re=516547]eclecticbrotha[/re]: WTF was that noise? Why didn’t he just use a clip from the Sanford & Son theme song?

zhubajie February 19, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Expect more violent incidents as more privileged Americans have troubles paying for their house, their big car, their airplane, their two wives, their taxes….

Wait till Rod Parsley or John Haggee tell their followers to smite the heathen and the sinners!

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Mr Blifil February 20, 2010 at 12:54 am

[re=516467]lochnessmonster[/re]: That wasn’t laughter, it was muted spasms of outrage, muffled by canapes.

Smoke Filled Roommate February 20, 2010 at 2:02 am

[re=516547]eclecticbrotha[/re]: It’s “Funky Norquist”.

schvitzatura February 20, 2010 at 6:04 am

[re=516352]memzilla[/re]: G. Norquist & Co. voortrekking their way into a janjaweed ambush would be a good start…

libwakman February 20, 2010 at 9:56 am

Maybe perhaps Grover could fly an aircraft up your pooper hole while unfurling a giant red flag. Show yer love for the USA and take one up the ole’ kazoo.

Beowoof February 20, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Why does conservative humor all revolve around death and similar stuff. Too funny a guy crashing his plane into a building protesting the IRS. How about some laughs for the 123 people who die everyday because this asswipes won’t help reform healthcare. Now there is some humor and if the doctor cuts off the wrong leg there are some laughs cause they don’t want to let you sue him for the damage he did to you.

Sorry serious mode will be off for next post.

Can O Whoopass February 20, 2010 at 1:53 pm

It would be OK as long as he carried his retarded kids around like a loaf of bread.

Wingnutia February 20, 2010 at 3:29 pm

For being such bible fuckers the republicans don’t pay attention to the seven deadly sins very much. Greed, sloth and gluttony ring a bell? Seriously if these guys don’t represent the kind of smug, fat, white, greedy and arrogant cartoonish villains of yesteryear then I don’t know who does. They must have decided jebus is fake but that his religion is a great way to mislead simple minded cultists into doing their dirty work while they rub together their fat and sweaty hands in Machivelian delight. Asshats, also

Wingnutia February 20, 2010 at 3:40 pm

[re=516644]Beowoof[/re]: They won’t just reform healthcare they pretend there aren’t any problems with the system. As a move of hilarity I went and read the “better solutions manual” for healthcare…guess what? yep, tax cuts for corps and the rich, deregulation for the health insurance company and nothing about getting anyone dying from lack of care a policy. These slugs (I refuse to call them mammalian, mammals actually care about others from their own species) actually think the corporations are so wonderful that if we just get the goddamn government off their backs they’ll figure out some way to get everyone covered. Okay geniuses, how long has health insurance existed? how long have corporate insurance companies existed?

My argument is if they were going to get everyone covered they’d have figured out how a long time ago. The fact is, socialized medicine spreads risk and scarcity evenly along the entire pool, capitalist medicine instead spreads risk and scarcity to in a regressive fashion, making sure those who really need care don’t get it so some rich fat fuck never has to worry about maybe not getting a baboon heart after his greedy, country club lifestyle gives him a heart attack. Scarcity and risk exist in every economic system…wingnuts forget that and the better educated ones hide it in the fine print. This is all about the disgusting randian notion that we should “reward those who make more” or else they might revolt or something…been there, done that it was called the fascist plot against FDR before WWII.

This belief system that you can get all of you want of everything you want without paying for it so long as corporations are the ones selling it to you is a fucking farce. Sorry to get so worked up but I get so fucking sick of seeing this cultish, nazi bullshit day in and day out from these assholes; Hitler also promised the same thing to Germany in the same way and then went and did it…guess who wound up with the short stick there too?

inedalo February 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

[re=516483]Cicada[/re]: how about bush the elder putting Clarence Thomas on the supreme bench?

El Pinche February 20, 2010 at 4:36 pm

I like how FoxNews is talking about Joe Stack’s life and friends and framing as just an alt-country musician who suddenly snapped. It must be tough broadcasting the anti-government propaganda of the teabaggers concurrently with damage control for the suicider.

smitallica February 20, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Can you imagine a group of liberals having a big meeting where one of the speakers said something along the lines of, “If you don’t agree with this next person’s agenda, that’s a big red flag that should identify you to others her that as not a true liberal”?

These people are Nazis, only with worse tailoring.

swayzeland February 20, 2010 at 9:22 pm

In and amongst other lovely jokes, one of the escalators at Adams Morgan/Woodley Park has a bumper sticker put above it that says “Recycle a Liberal.” But the Vandalism isn’t the real story…

The real story is that I saw the guy put the sticker on there. There was nobody else around at the time, and the dude (some whitish kid, about 20ish) looked at me staring wide-eyed at his lunacy and carefully looked around for other people… Then he winked at me (a whitish person), and said “White Power!”

I’m ashamed I didn’t punch him or even yell at him, but I was a little too much in shock. Anyway, that’s a funny joke for CPAC-ers, apparently.

Can O Whoopass February 20, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Already the pugs are soliciting donations on FOX to build a Joe Stack statue at the Cheney Torture Library in Adolf Hitler, Ohio.

Here’s Joe worshipping at the Palin Statue near TheBridgeToNowhere, Alaska just before he splattered his memory all over the US Gubbmint..

davesnothere February 21, 2010 at 1:25 am

[re=516657]Wingnutia[/re]: No shit, they should all be wearing William Howard Taft costumes or some such.
But on the real, there is a badly missed opportunity here: who knows when all these lunatics will be able to find their way to a single location again? We will come to regret that nobody had the good sense to throw a net over the whole mess.

Long Form Def Certificate February 21, 2010 at 8:46 pm

[re=516407]ph7[/re]: You better believe it.

DustBowlBlues February 21, 2010 at 9:20 pm

The old man is circling the computer, anxious to surf porn so I have to make this quick:

Who wants to start a pool on when the teabaggers start making signs with Tim McVeigh pictured on them? As their hero?


DustBowlBlues February 21, 2010 at 9:28 pm

[re=516659]Wingnutia[/re]: I agree completely, but fear you won’t be back on this thread to hear it. We have a health insurance system based on your job, which you have until you–ugh–get sick.

Do idiot Americans not realize there is a reason we are the only country in the world with a system like this?

Republics have won elections for the last sixty years based on one thing: Government is free. You don’t need to pay taxes. And these people have added to it the biggest joke of all: That American was founded on rugged individualism. It’s like these CPACing teabaggers got Davy Crocket and George Washington mixed up. It’s the Social Contract, Stupid.

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