nine mansions in one

This Is Literally Thomas Friedman’s House

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Literally. Seriously. He seriously lives here. Honestly. If you were this free from Want, wouldn’t you be writing the same fantasy bullshit too? (No.) [Balloon Juice]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • Suds McKenzie
  • forgracie

    Looks fairly flat but not too crowded….

  • jbd

    well, no, but if i had to live in a .jpg i might go crazy too.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed


  • Superfrankenstein

    But his wife’s daddy won’t let him keep critters in the cee-ment pond.

  • snideinplainsight

    Where are all the poolboys? Who’s keeping the pool clean?

  • taylormattd

    The House Is Not Flat.

  • Serolf Divad

    Wonder if you can see the curvature of the earth from where that picture was taken… oh wait… the earth is flat, that’s right, nevermind.

  • Way Cool Larry

    time’s are tough though– he had to lay off one of his three maids

    wifey’s inheritance not doing so well

  • FMA

    As I gazed out of the window shortly after take-off from BWI, my gaze fell upon a massive manse and I couldn’t help but thinking how flat, and perhaps hot and crowded, the world was really becoming as I could look out my window and see this symbol of capitalistic success…Hey, wait a minute, is that my wife blowing the pool boy?

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=516131]snideinplainsight[/re]: He gets a new shipment from China every other week. Much cheaper than local.

  • proudgrampa

    Wow. Just wow.

    Hey, at least we don’t have his heating bill.

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    He is obviously a better gigilo than writer.

  • Come here a minute

    I give him 6 months before Matt Taibbi flies a plane into the first floor.

  • V572625694

    How can people live like this? The neighbors are so….close/i>.

    [re=516127]jbd[/re]: Ha, ha!

  • Way Cool Larry
  • comicbookguy

    The next six months of kitchen upgrades will be critical.

  • Citizen Kang

    His pool house is bigger than my house house.

  • SmutBoffin

    The east wing of that baby is the “‘stache maintenance facility”.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    One would think with all that wealth and pealth and fame and name and all of that noise, dear Tommy would be able to afford a decent haircut and a ‘stache that doesn’t look like a dead caterpillar.

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=516134]Way Cool Larry[/re]:
    Especially when your wife’s fortune goes from bajillions to a few millions while you’re living the billionaire’s lifestyle.

    Oh the humanity… Heh.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    How many bathrooms?
    [re=516139]Come here a minute[/re]:

  • Ugh

    Is that a Lexus in the driveway?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Nice place. It’d be fun to flash mob a gang of Wonkettes from NY (or VA or wherever the hell this is) over for an impromptu BBQ potluck.

  • TGY

    And he got it all just by writing blogs.

  • Snarkalicious

    What…is that…an…is that an open topped safari van in the garage yard?

  • pondscum

    There’s a McCain joke in here somewhere…

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    I’ll bet that house is full of piss-poor metaphors.

  • JMP

    Having a house like this is a good way to tell non-ultra-wealthy Americans to “suck on this”.

  • emmasue


  • Texan Bulldoggette

    No snark. Just wow…what does this guy have to bitch about EVER?

  • Trigvhe from Texas

    [ . . . ] Well—I compare human life to a large Mansion of Many Apartments..
    John Keats [Letter to J. H. Reynolds, 3 May 1818]

  • Barcode of the Apocalypse

    Reminds me of Johnny “McMillworker” Edwards’ place, except for the trailer-court love-nest out back.

  • Autoo

    [re=516153]Snarkalicious[/re]: Hey, rich guys need plumbers, too.

  • magic titty

    Wonkette is TMZ now??

  • Crosseyed and Painless

    You need a lot of space to entertain South Korean venture capitalists, Brazilian computer engineers, and Israeli bio-scientists.

  • thesheriffisnear

    I sure made the wrong career choice. If I dedicated myself to being a lousy writer instead of a peace officer, I too would be famous and married to a rich wife. I could have colored servants, also.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It just cries out for liberation of its untapped economic potential, doesn’t it? I think I’m going to institute some regime change and sell tickets to his swimming pool.

  • Come here a minute

    Interactive version.

  • TurdBlossom

    Yeah, but this picture doesn’t show the half mile front yard. No, seriously, if you drive out Bradley Blvd you can squint at this place from the road.

  • Extemporanus

    If you think that’s bad, you should see what the house looked like before his wife made him demolish half of it to make room for her bocce ball court and cabin-size cappuccino machine.

  • norbizness

    You know why I’m an atheist? Because I can state with certainly that any God worth his or her salt would have smoten us by now for this shit.

  • S.Luggo

    Where are the wind turbines?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=516175]Extemporanus[/re]: Heh. Let me guess, the Aryan Brotherhood headquarters in Idaho. Those guys just don’t go for subtlety in architecture.

  • chaste everywhere

    [re=516184]norbizness[/re]: Not only RU right, but “smoten” is precious! Can other people use it, too?

  • germansteel

    The wings on that fucking mansion having fucking wings.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Fun Facts: There is also a semi-well-known artist named Thomas Friedman, and his work pictured here is strangely cathartic.

  • teebob2000

    How is it possible that only 3 — THREE!!! — posts in Wonkette history merit the tag “vulgarity”?

  • Jerri

    I assume the Mustache has its own wing then?

  • norbizness

    [re=516196]chaste everywhere[/re]: Why not, I ripped it off from Homer “O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!” Simpson.

  • mercure

    Free from want? Typical bolshie-prole whining, can’t you see the man has no leaves on his trees? Until someone is rich enough to buy their own customized seasons there’s no way anyone can say they have enough. I bet his neighbours have plenty of leaves on their trees…

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=516166]Autoo[/re]: But do they have to hunt them down and haul them back from the veld?

  • S.Luggo

    Chateau Freidperson is decoratively set off from the street by a chain of tenuous correlations and unwieldy free-association.

    BTW: Whose van is that parked in Mrs. Freidman’s snug curtilage?

  • Pop Socket

    [re=516150]Ugh[/re]: Right next to the olive tree.

  • Pop Socket

    We have a new winner in the Al Gore Personal Residence Carbon Footprint Hypocrisy Sweepstakes.

  • Prommie

    There are a few sturdy limbs on those trees, all we’ll need is some good rope.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    I just went by Tommy boy’s Wikipedia page. Didja y’all know he named one of his kids Orly? Who’d have thought there would ever be more than one of those on the planet. Imagine the hell that kid gets in school. I can’t imagine school kids being any nicer about her name either.

  • madtowngooner

    Shit. It looks like this place goes from Beirut to Jeruselum all by its fucking self. I’m sure its powered by the energy generated by Tommy boy’s own smug self importance.

  • PlanetWingnuta

    Meanwhile at Wayne Manor…

  • boatapple

    [re=516150]Ugh[/re]: Yah, but it’s a HYBRID Lexus, which makes it ok, or whatever.

    But, my god, that ludicrous new-money pile of puke is totally revolting even by Bethesda standards.


    One day, I hope my Second life family will live here. And that they will be real. And that Thomas Friedman and I will be dead.

  • Mr Blifil

    Hope all the workers are on the up-and-up…

  • lumpenprole

    First I have to wake up to Tiger’s eeyore drone about being sorry for climbing over mountains of bikini meat. Then there’s Steve Jobs scouring the weakest PR0N on the whole of the internets off his store. Now I see that The Stache Castle…
    It’s a good thing that I haven’t got access to a vehicle that would cause serious harm to anyone if I plowed it into something in a resentful fury. At best I could run a Smart Car off the road.

  • CanadianBacon

    It is imperative we work to end the death tax and lower taxes on capital gains and dividends before this way of life disappears forever. Like the Whooping Crane we all must work together to help preserve the upper class and shield them from peril. Do you want to tell your grandchildren, ” Yes my generation alowed the extinction of the rich”?

  • El Pinche

    Good thing I’m not a pilot. seriously.


    Oh, there it is. I’m going to see if I can land my Piper PA-28 neatly on his roof. Talk to you guys later.

    ~Sent from my iphone

  • Flanders

    [re=516167]magic titty[/re]: We had a vote and changed the format. You were asleep.

  • Prommie

    [re=516318]El Pinche[/re]: I understand that pretty much anyone can take off and fly. Its the landing thats hard, but who needs to know how to land?

  • Jim89048

    His foyer is bigger than my house is. I don’t mind, less hired help needed, and it makes my truck look bigger. Hell, it makes ME look bigger.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Hey, it’s just them and the kids, but they have a lot of stuff… Weird landscaping — look at the strange location of the two big Christmas trees, sorry, Chanukah bushes. I think living inside the real estate bubble must have warped their perspective. Now that it’s popped, they can see clearly, but can’t afford new trees. Her family sure lived up to its name — Bucksbombing from a few billion to zilch, ouch. (Too bad it wasn’t “Bucksboffo”.) I couldn’t decipher the map — what part of Bayonne is it in?

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    1313 Mockingbird Lane ?

  • Aurelio

    Not worthy of a duke, but an earl might live in a place like that. Tom Lord Friedman. Nice ring to it, innit? I wonder what the servants call him behind his back? ‘is nibs?

  • Aurelio

    [re=516350]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Weird landscaping…. I agree. It looks like you have to wade through a bunch of muck to get to the pool. And the pool looks like its full of algae. Tom’s wife should stop blowing the pool boy and let him pour some bleach in it.

  • wildcat007

    What a waste! Touch of irony: in his latest drivel (Hot Flat and Crowded) he goes off on excessive consumption and “too many Americans” in the world exacerbating global warming and climate change… I guess a 17,000 sq ft house is completely justified?

  • Jukesgrrl

    That photo is going into my file with the Crying Santorums and the Moran Guy.

    [re=516283]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Maybe Orly was conceived shortly after take-off … some kind of Mile-High Club humor.

    [re=516378]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Let’s let the Munsters can stay put and call this one 666 Mockingbird Lane.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    “Horatio Alger, Jr. (January 13, 1832 – July 18, 1899) was a prolific 19th-century American author whose principal output was formulaic juvenile novels that followed the adventures of bootblacks, newsboys, peddlers, buskers, and other impoverished children in their rise from humble backgrounds to lives of respectable middle-class security and comfort. His novels were hugely popular in their day.”

    He liked little boys and died in poverty.

  • jbd

    [re=516392]Aurelio[/re]: you can’t see the underground tunnels. what sort of person would want to have to walk outside?

  • Zorg

    There is no proper stable for the polo ponies. This Friedman fellow is obviously a gauche, heartless cad…

  • Harvey Birdman

    I didn’t know he was hung.

  • Aurelio

    Compare Friedman’s piece of shit mansion with Brad and Angelina’s chateau. The sad thing for Tom is that Brad and Angie are now much richer than Tom and Ann are. This is just one of the many tsouris that Tom has to suffer.

  • Hedley Lamar

    Hell, we’re practically neighbors! I should drop by sometime and poop on his rug.

  • EdFlinstone

    [re=516304]CanadianBacon[/re]: In addition, I hope when Tom tore down the old house to build this 11,000 square foot estate he wasnt saddled with having to pay any prevailing union wages and hopefully the landscaping company was full of illegals getting below the minimum wage. When I see wealth like this, I react like any demented wingtard would, what can I do to help and how can I lessen this guys tax burden.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=516493]Hedley Lamar[/re]: That rug really tied the world together.

  • Rush
  • Aurelio

    [re=516495]EdFlinstone[/re]: How can you heap such sarcasm on poor Tom? You have no idea of how he has suffered. Tom’s wife’s Bucksbaum family trusts, once worth a combined $3.6 billion, are now worth less than $25 million. I’ll bet you can’t even imagine the pain and anguish involved in such a loss, or what this would do to the morale of the loser and his family. Nevertheless, Tom bravely carries on, promoting the hopeless cause of neoconservatism at his sad NYT newspaper, which is rapidly going broke–so broke that the newspaper had to sell its building where it now rents a floor or two where Tom emails his columns. Will the suffering never end?

  • Aurelio

    [re=516525]Rush[/re]: A realtor would describe that house as “rustic.”

  • Extemporanus

    [re=516525]Rush[/re]: He was born a poor blog child.


    [re=516528]Aurelio[/re]: Wow. Is it even possible to live on a family trust under $25 mill.? I guess it depends on how many people(congressmen and op-ed writers) are getting monthly allowances from it.

  • Rock Ripsnort

    This explains why my local fishwrap puts Friedman’s column alongside George Fucktard Will and Ross Douchehat. And that’s considered the “Liberal” page, the Conservative page is Cal Thomas and Malkin. Then they wonder why readership is down.

  • EdFlinstone

    [re=516528]Aurelio[/re]: Oh its easy. I also wonder, when I need a to see a doctor or have a medical procedure, how will my illness impact the shareholders of WellPoint and Evan Bayh’ wife? How can I get the least care in order for the healthcare company to increase its profits and beat the street’s estimate.

  • donner_froh

    Enjoy it while you can Tommy. Your rich wife got poor real fast.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=516555]donner_froh[/re]: I like that– “The equity’s gone,” says Rich Moore.

  • rocktonsammy

    Too jewy.

  • desertwind

    Now, now. It took a lotta Friedmans to save up for this.

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  • CanadianBacon

    Friedman must relly feel like life has screwed him when he reads stuff like this,

    “In 2007 the top 400 taxpayers had an average income of $344.8 million, up 31 percent from their average $263.3 million income in 2006, according to figures in a report that the IRS posted to its Web site without announcement that were discovered February 16. (For the report, see Tax Analysts Doc 2010-3372 ”

    And for the rest of us,

    “Since 1992, the bottom 90 percent of Americans have seen their incomes rise by 13 percent in 2009 dollars, compared with an increase of 399 percent for the top 400.”

  • assistant/atlas

    [re=516138]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Everyone loves a mustache ride!

  • assistant/atlas

    Do you think they would even notice if I just moved in?

  • jeg220

    Should be turned into the world’s most lavish orphanage.

  • S.Luggo

    Mock (yeah)
    ing (yeah)
    bird (yeah)
    yeah (yeah)
    Mockin’bird, now

    Everybody have you heard
    He’s gonna buy me a mockingbird
    And if that mockingbird don’t sing
    He’s gonna buy me a diamond ring
    And if that diamond ring won’t shine
    He’s gonna surely break this heart of mine
    And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
    Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, oh

  • saggyboobedhag

    Why is a giant pedimented garage the center feature of his enclosed patio? Just like Versailles or St. Peter’s.

  • WesternCorrespondent

    Gosh darn, compared to that, Sarah Palin’s compound up in Wasilla Alaska — all the houses seen in this picture — is “proof” that SHE is really “one of us” — if you’re a Teabagger…

    HER compound is only HALF the size as his!

  • Mad Brahms

    C’mon guys, as Michael Steele reminds us, a million just doesn’t go that far anymore!

    [re=516642]saggyboobedhag[/re]: I’m more transfixed by the pool house. If you squint, you can almost see the Indian call-center equivalent of Kato Kaelin cleaning the filters.

  • Scooter

    Now why would anyone living in a 8×8 concrete-block room on the Gaza Strip hold a grudge against a renowned Middle East expert like Tom Friedman?

  • japan_monster

    The fighting, death and destruction in Maryland is painful to watch. But it’s all too familiar. It’s the latest version of the longest-running play called: “Who owns this hotel? Can the Joos has a cheezburger? And shouldn’t we blow up the bar and replace it with a bucket of dicks?”

  • durn

    That pool has a black bottom.

  • Aurelio

    [re=516689]durn[/re]: I thought it was algae. But maybe it’s a pool cover.

  • Reginald Pettifogger

    To be fair, Tom married well, and his father-in-law is an RE developer, who might have had a hand in acquiring for his little girl that 11,000sq. ft., $9.3 millon mansion in Bethesda MD>