NINE MANSIONS IN ONE  1:54 pm February 19, 2010

This Is Literally Thomas Friedman’s House

by Jim Newell

Literally. Seriously. He seriously lives here. Honestly. If you were this free from Want, wouldn’t you be writing the same fantasy bullshit too? (No.) [Balloon Juice]


Hola wonkerados.

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Suds McKenzie February 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm
forgracie February 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Looks fairly flat but not too crowded….

jbd February 19, 2010 at 1:58 pm

well, no, but if i had to live in a .jpg i might go crazy too.

AbstinenceOnly Ed February 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm


Superfrankenstein February 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm

But his wife’s daddy won’t let him keep critters in the cee-ment pond.

snideinplainsight February 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Where are all the poolboys? Who’s keeping the pool clean?

taylormattd February 19, 2010 at 2:01 pm

The House Is Not Flat.

Serolf Divad February 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Wonder if you can see the curvature of the earth from where that picture was taken… oh wait… the earth is flat, that’s right, nevermind.

Way Cool Larry February 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

time’s are tough though– he had to lay off one of his three maids

wifey’s inheritance not doing so well

FMA February 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

As I gazed out of the window shortly after take-off from BWI, my gaze fell upon a massive manse and I couldn’t help but thinking how flat, and perhaps hot and crowded, the world was really becoming as I could look out my window and see this symbol of capitalistic success…Hey, wait a minute, is that my wife blowing the pool boy?

Doglessliberal February 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

[re=516131]snideinplainsight[/re]: He gets a new shipment from China every other week. Much cheaper than local.

proudgrampa February 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Wow. Just wow.

Hey, at least we don’t have his heating bill.

Capitol Hillbilly February 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm

He is obviously a better gigilo than writer.

Come here a minute February 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm

I give him 6 months before Matt Taibbi flies a plane into the first floor.

V572625694 February 19, 2010 at 2:04 pm

How can people live like this? The neighbors are so….close/i>.

[re=516127]jbd[/re]: Ha, ha!

Way Cool Larry February 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm
comicbookguy February 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm

The next six months of kitchen upgrades will be critical.

Citizen Kang February 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm

His pool house is bigger than my house house.

SmutBoffin February 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm

The east wing of that baby is the “‘stache maintenance facility”.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm

One would think with all that wealth and pealth and fame and name and all of that noise, dear Tommy would be able to afford a decent haircut and a ‘stache that doesn’t look like a dead caterpillar.

ManchuCandidate February 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm

[re=516134]Way Cool Larry[/re]:
Especially when your wife’s fortune goes from bajillions to a few millions while you’re living the billionaire’s lifestyle.

Oh the humanity… Heh.

Monsieur Grumpe February 19, 2010 at 2:08 pm

How many bathrooms?
[re=516139]Come here a minute[/re]:

Ugh February 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Is that a Lexus in the driveway?

Lascauxcaveman February 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Nice place. It’d be fun to flash mob a gang of Wonkettes from NY (or VA or wherever the hell this is) over for an impromptu BBQ potluck.

TGY February 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

And he got it all just by writing blogs.

Snarkalicious February 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

What…is that…an…is that an open topped safari van in the garage yard?

pondscum February 19, 2010 at 2:12 pm

There’s a McCain joke in here somewhere…

Smoke Filled Roommate February 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm

I’ll bet that house is full of piss-poor metaphors.

JMP February 19, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Having a house like this is a good way to tell non-ultra-wealthy Americans to “suck on this”.

emmasue February 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm


Texan Bulldoggette February 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm

No snark. Just wow…what does this guy have to bitch about EVER?

Trigvhe from Texas February 19, 2010 at 2:20 pm

[ . . . ] Well—I compare human life to a large Mansion of Many Apartments..
John Keats [Letter to J. H. Reynolds, 3 May 1818]

Barcode of the Apocalypse February 19, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Reminds me of Johnny “McMillworker” Edwards’ place, except for the trailer-court love-nest out back.

Autoo February 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm

[re=516153]Snarkalicious[/re]: Hey, rich guys need plumbers, too.

magic titty February 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Wonkette is TMZ now??

Crosseyed and Painless February 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm

You need a lot of space to entertain South Korean venture capitalists, Brazilian computer engineers, and Israeli bio-scientists.

thesheriffisnear February 19, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I sure made the wrong career choice. If I dedicated myself to being a lousy writer instead of a peace officer, I too would be famous and married to a rich wife. I could have colored servants, also.

SayItWithWookies February 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

It just cries out for liberation of its untapped economic potential, doesn’t it? I think I’m going to institute some regime change and sell tickets to his swimming pool.

Come here a minute February 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Interactive version.

TurdBlossom February 19, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Yeah, but this picture doesn’t show the half mile front yard. No, seriously, if you drive out Bradley Blvd you can squint at this place from the road.

Extemporanus February 19, 2010 at 2:30 pm

If you think that’s bad, you should see what the house looked like before his wife made him demolish half of it to make room for her bocce ball court and cabin-size cappuccino machine.

norbizness February 19, 2010 at 2:37 pm

You know why I’m an atheist? Because I can state with certainly that any God worth his or her salt would have smoten us by now for this shit.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Where are the wind turbines?

Lascauxcaveman February 19, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=516175]Extemporanus[/re]: Heh. Let me guess, the Aryan Brotherhood headquarters in Idaho. Those guys just don’t go for subtlety in architecture.

chaste everywhere February 19, 2010 at 2:44 pm

[re=516184]norbizness[/re]: Not only RU right, but “smoten” is precious! Can other people use it, too?

germansteel February 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm

The wings on that fucking mansion having fucking wings.

Lascauxcaveman February 19, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Fun Facts: There is also a semi-well-known artist named Thomas Friedman, and his work pictured here is strangely cathartic.

teebob2000 February 19, 2010 at 2:49 pm

How is it possible that only 3 — THREE!!! — posts in Wonkette history merit the tag “vulgarity”?

Jerri February 19, 2010 at 2:51 pm

I assume the Mustache has its own wing then?

norbizness February 19, 2010 at 2:54 pm

[re=516196]chaste everywhere[/re]: Why not, I ripped it off from Homer “O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!” Simpson.

mercure February 19, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Free from want? Typical bolshie-prole whining, can’t you see the man has no leaves on his trees? Until someone is rich enough to buy their own customized seasons there’s no way anyone can say they have enough. I bet his neighbours have plenty of leaves on their trees…

Snarkalicious February 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm

[re=516166]Autoo[/re]: But do they have to hunt them down and haul them back from the veld?

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Chateau Freidperson is decoratively set off from the street by a chain of tenuous correlations and unwieldy free-association.

BTW: Whose van is that parked in Mrs. Freidman’s snug curtilage?

Pop Socket February 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm

[re=516150]Ugh[/re]: Right next to the olive tree.

Pop Socket February 19, 2010 at 3:15 pm

We have a new winner in the Al Gore Personal Residence Carbon Footprint Hypocrisy Sweepstakes.

Prommie February 19, 2010 at 3:19 pm

There are a few sturdy limbs on those trees, all we’ll need is some good rope.

Downtheroadapiece February 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm

I just went by Tommy boy’s Wikipedia page. Didja y’all know he named one of his kids Orly? Who’d have thought there would ever be more than one of those on the planet. Imagine the hell that kid gets in school. I can’t imagine school kids being any nicer about her name either.

madtowngooner February 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Shit. It looks like this place goes from Beirut to Jeruselum all by its fucking self. I’m sure its powered by the energy generated by Tommy boy’s own smug self importance.

PlanetWingnuta February 19, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Meanwhile at Wayne Manor…

boatapple February 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm

[re=516150]Ugh[/re]: Yah, but it’s a HYBRID Lexus, which makes it ok, or whatever.

But, my god, that ludicrous new-money pile of puke is totally revolting even by Bethesda standards.

NYNYNY February 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm

One day, I hope my Second life family will live here. And that they will be real. And that Thomas Friedman and I will be dead.

Mr Blifil February 19, 2010 at 3:42 pm

Hope all the workers are on the up-and-up…

lumpenprole February 19, 2010 at 3:43 pm

First I have to wake up to Tiger’s eeyore drone about being sorry for climbing over mountains of bikini meat. Then there’s Steve Jobs scouring the weakest PR0N on the whole of the internets off his store. Now I see that The Stache Castle…
It’s a good thing that I haven’t got access to a vehicle that would cause serious harm to anyone if I plowed it into something in a resentful fury. At best I could run a Smart Car off the road.

CanadianBacon February 19, 2010 at 3:51 pm

It is imperative we work to end the death tax and lower taxes on capital gains and dividends before this way of life disappears forever. Like the Whooping Crane we all must work together to help preserve the upper class and shield them from peril. Do you want to tell your grandchildren, ” Yes my generation alowed the extinction of the rich”?

El Pinche February 19, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Good thing I’m not a pilot. seriously.

NYNYNY February 19, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Oh, there it is. I’m going to see if I can land my Piper PA-28 neatly on his roof. Talk to you guys later.

~Sent from my iphone

Flanders February 19, 2010 at 3:59 pm

[re=516167]magic titty[/re]: We had a vote and changed the format. You were asleep.

Prommie February 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

[re=516318]El Pinche[/re]: I understand that pretty much anyone can take off and fly. Its the landing thats hard, but who needs to know how to land?

Jim89048 February 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm

His foyer is bigger than my house is. I don’t mind, less hired help needed, and it makes my truck look bigger. Hell, it makes ME look bigger.

lawrenceofthedesert February 19, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Hey, it’s just them and the kids, but they have a lot of stuff… Weird landscaping — look at the strange location of the two big Christmas trees, sorry, Chanukah bushes. I think living inside the real estate bubble must have warped their perspective. Now that it’s popped, they can see clearly, but can’t afford new trees. Her family sure lived up to its name — Bucksbombing from a few billion to zilch, ouch. (Too bad it wasn’t “Bucksboffo”.) I couldn’t decipher the map — what part of Bayonne is it in?

Aquannissiwamissoo February 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

1313 Mockingbird Lane ?

Aurelio February 19, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Not worthy of a duke, but an earl might live in a place like that. Tom Lord Friedman. Nice ring to it, innit? I wonder what the servants call him behind his back? ‘is nibs?

Aurelio February 19, 2010 at 4:32 pm

[re=516350]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Weird landscaping…. I agree. It looks like you have to wade through a bunch of muck to get to the pool. And the pool looks like its full of algae. Tom’s wife should stop blowing the pool boy and let him pour some bleach in it.

wildcat007 February 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm

What a waste! Touch of irony: in his latest drivel (Hot Flat and Crowded) he goes off on excessive consumption and “too many Americans” in the world exacerbating global warming and climate change… I guess a 17,000 sq ft house is completely justified?

Jukesgrrl February 19, 2010 at 4:47 pm

That photo is going into my file with the Crying Santorums and the Moran Guy.

[re=516283]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Maybe Orly was conceived shortly after take-off … some kind of Mile-High Club humor.

[re=516378]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Let’s let the Munsters can stay put and call this one 666 Mockingbird Lane.

What Fresh Hell is This? February 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm

“Horatio Alger, Jr. (January 13, 1832 – July 18, 1899) was a prolific 19th-century American author whose principal output was formulaic juvenile novels that followed the adventures of bootblacks, newsboys, peddlers, buskers, and other impoverished children in their rise from humble backgrounds to lives of respectable middle-class security and comfort. His novels were hugely popular in their day.”

He liked little boys and died in poverty.

jbd February 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm

[re=516392]Aurelio[/re]: you can’t see the underground tunnels. what sort of person would want to have to walk outside?

Zorg February 19, 2010 at 5:11 pm

There is no proper stable for the polo ponies. This Friedman fellow is obviously a gauche, heartless cad…

Harvey Birdman February 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm

I didn’t know he was hung.

Aurelio February 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Compare Friedman’s piece of shit mansion with Brad and Angelina’s chateau. The sad thing for Tom is that Brad and Angie are now much richer than Tom and Ann are. This is just one of the many tsouris that Tom has to suffer.

Hedley Lamar February 19, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Hell, we’re practically neighbors! I should drop by sometime and poop on his rug.

EdFlinstone February 19, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=516304]CanadianBacon[/re]: In addition, I hope when Tom tore down the old house to build this 11,000 square foot estate he wasnt saddled with having to pay any prevailing union wages and hopefully the landscaping company was full of illegals getting below the minimum wage. When I see wealth like this, I react like any demented wingtard would, what can I do to help and how can I lessen this guys tax burden.

Extemporanus February 19, 2010 at 6:17 pm

[re=516493]Hedley Lamar[/re]: That rug really tied the world together.

Rush February 19, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Aurelio February 19, 2010 at 7:04 pm

[re=516495]EdFlinstone[/re]: How can you heap such sarcasm on poor Tom? You have no idea of how he has suffered. Tom’s wife’s Bucksbaum family trusts, once worth a combined $3.6 billion, are now worth less than $25 million. I’ll bet you can’t even imagine the pain and anguish involved in such a loss, or what this would do to the morale of the loser and his family. Nevertheless, Tom bravely carries on, promoting the hopeless cause of neoconservatism at his sad NYT newspaper, which is rapidly going broke–so broke that the newspaper had to sell its building where it now rents a floor or two where Tom emails his columns. Will the suffering never end?

Aurelio February 19, 2010 at 7:05 pm

[re=516525]Rush[/re]: A realtor would describe that house as “rustic.”

Extemporanus February 19, 2010 at 7:06 pm

[re=516525]Rush[/re]: He was born a poor blog child.

NYNYNY February 19, 2010 at 7:10 pm

[re=516528]Aurelio[/re]: Wow. Is it even possible to live on a family trust under $25 mill.? I guess it depends on how many people(congressmen and op-ed writers) are getting monthly allowances from it.

Rock Ripsnort February 19, 2010 at 7:22 pm

This explains why my local fishwrap puts Friedman’s column alongside George Fucktard Will and Ross Douchehat. And that’s considered the “Liberal” page, the Conservative page is Cal Thomas and Malkin. Then they wonder why readership is down.

EdFlinstone February 19, 2010 at 8:14 pm

[re=516528]Aurelio[/re]: Oh its easy. I also wonder, when I need a to see a doctor or have a medical procedure, how will my illness impact the shareholders of WellPoint and Evan Bayh’ wife? How can I get the least care in order for the healthcare company to increase its profits and beat the street’s estimate.

donner_froh February 19, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Enjoy it while you can Tommy. Your rich wife got poor real fast.

Smoke Filled Roommate February 19, 2010 at 8:56 pm

[re=516555]donner_froh[/re]: I like that– “The equity’s gone,” says Rich Moore.

rocktonsammy February 19, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Too jewy.

desertwind February 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Now, now. It took a lotta Friedmans to save up for this.

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CanadianBacon February 19, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Friedman must relly feel like life has screwed him when he reads stuff like this,

“In 2007 the top 400 taxpayers had an average income of $344.8 million, up 31 percent from their average $263.3 million income in 2006, according to figures in a report that the IRS posted to its Web site without announcement that were discovered February 16. (For the report, see Tax Analysts Doc 2010-3372 ”

And for the rest of us,

“Since 1992, the bottom 90 percent of Americans have seen their incomes rise by 13 percent in 2009 dollars, compared with an increase of 399 percent for the top 400.”

assistant/atlas February 19, 2010 at 11:54 pm

[re=516138]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Everyone loves a mustache ride!

assistant/atlas February 19, 2010 at 11:59 pm

Do you think they would even notice if I just moved in?

jeg220 February 20, 2010 at 12:09 am

Should be turned into the world’s most lavish orphanage.

S.Luggo February 20, 2010 at 12:39 am

Mock (yeah)
ing (yeah)
bird (yeah)
yeah (yeah)
Mockin’bird, now

Everybody have you heard
He’s gonna buy me a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don’t sing
He’s gonna buy me a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring won’t shine
He’s gonna surely break this heart of mine
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, oh

saggyboobedhag February 20, 2010 at 11:44 am

Why is a giant pedimented garage the center feature of his enclosed patio? Just like Versailles or St. Peter’s.

WesternCorrespondent February 20, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Gosh darn, compared to that, Sarah Palin’s compound up in Wasilla Alaska — all the houses seen in this picture — is “proof” that SHE is really “one of us” — if you’re a Teabagger…

HER compound is only HALF the size as his!

Mad Brahms February 20, 2010 at 3:02 pm

C’mon guys, as Michael Steele reminds us, a million just doesn’t go that far anymore!

[re=516642]saggyboobedhag[/re]: I’m more transfixed by the pool house. If you squint, you can almost see the Indian call-center equivalent of Kato Kaelin cleaning the filters.

Scooter February 20, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Now why would anyone living in a 8×8 concrete-block room on the Gaza Strip hold a grudge against a renowned Middle East expert like Tom Friedman?

japan_monster February 20, 2010 at 10:51 pm

The fighting, death and destruction in Maryland is painful to watch. But it’s all too familiar. It’s the latest version of the longest-running play called: “Who owns this hotel? Can the Joos has a cheezburger? And shouldn’t we blow up the bar and replace it with a bucket of dicks?”

durn February 21, 2010 at 1:25 am

That pool has a black bottom.

Aurelio February 21, 2010 at 8:47 pm

[re=516689]durn[/re]: I thought it was algae. But maybe it’s a pool cover.

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