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BREAKING: The squid-elephant walrus fetus furry is not (a rather poor!) incarnation of our god, Cthulhu. It is simply the Obama Job Creation Fail Whale just speeeennning time with his friend the friendly AmSol Twitter Eagle. And if (when?) you murder them both and brag about it on the Internet, Newt Gingrich will give you Ameros and video games!

Speaking for “conference attendee” photographer Garrett Quinn, of course… yes… speaking for Garrett…

[Huffington Post]

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45 COMMENTS

  1. Both those links are to the same pic of the flyer, yes? Shouldn’t one of them be to Garrett’s photo? Bless your heart, this Tweeter thing is so hard. Maybe Meg McCabe could give you some lessons.

  2. If the CPAC assholes had their way, there wouldn’t be any eagles or whales. Because their precious Invisible Hand carries a steak knife and doesn’t care if it’s eating the last precious bits of our ecosystem.

  3. Sorry, Jim. The poster says “you will automatically be entered…”. I didn’t read beyond that point, but I doubt it’s got anything to do with scoring swag.

  4. Listen, they can call it whatever they want, but the fact is that is clearly Cthulu, the thing that cannot be described, the green, sticky spawn of the stars, the great old one the size of a mountain. Two of these descriptors can also be used for various penises currently attending CPAC. The third cannot.

  5. [re=515678]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Here’s a shot of Crazy the Raccoon right before I blew his motheryiffin’ head off for chewing & clawing his way onto my bus.

    The blind hipsters next to him found themselves collateral damage in my all-out war on fur, though thankfully, they never knew what hit them.

    (HINT: rabies, shrapnel, scorn)

  6. I don’t get it. Both of those fucking things look like turkeys.

    But I bet they are anatomically correct, if you know what I mean. I mean they have a little boy stuffed inside them. could be white or latin. depending on if you like white meat or dark meat. latin is as dark as they allow, however.

  7. When do the grown-ups show up? Also too, how do these kids get rooms? Do their parents give them all their own credit cards? The kid who is dressed in the elephant costume should really be back in school in sewing class instead of at this party.

  8. I think the first paragraph of Call of Cthulhu pretty accurately sums up the CPAC/Teabag movement:

    “The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.”

  9. [re=515736]DemmeFatale[/re]: Little known (or alternately, known by everybody, it’s hard to tell) fact: Failie the Whale was made from the same mold as Santa Claus. Now, back to Ralph Kiner interviewing Dwight Gooden on the postgame show.

  10. [re=515860]Mr Blifil[/re]: they don’t like it when you use the R word.

    solution: remove the R.

    what a bunch of fucking etards.

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