Wonkette’s annual CPAC attendee friend Garrett Quinn, who is insane for still going to these things but great for sending us the laffs, has delivered the first batch of terrifying furry photos from Day One. They depict an astroturfing eagle and a monstrous grey squid-elephant walrus fetus that isn’t Dick Armey. (Maybe.) Six demerits to each from Mittens, we guess? UPDATE: My god, is it actually Cthulhu??
Oh, sorry, this isn’t a furry, he isn’t even wearing his human costume yet.
MOAR! FEED MAH MOAR PLASMA CRACKERS!
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It’s Snuffaluffagus and Big Bird!
Oops. I mean their “proper” Right Wing Values family low taxes and no homo equivalents. “Bert the Elephant” and “Ernie the Eagle.”
what the fuck is that? A squid?
Maybe they don’t like dressing up as much as they want to disguise who they really are. I know I would.
I guess Joe the Pilot won’t be speaking at this one.
It ain’t CPAC until the hideous furries show up on our Wonkett! Yay!
Needs more capes.
Welcome to CPAC — home of the Flaccid Pachyderm.
CTHULHU !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulu
At the risk of asking the obvious, these people really have a weird costume fetish, don’t they?
CPAC as Hunter S. Thompson would have seen it.
I think NineInchNachos is right – it is CTHULHU!!!!
The elephant? is very deflated and sad. Like the Republican Party.
[re=515353]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Now that’s funny. Thanks.
My eyes are watering.
Help.
This’ll probably be meaningless to anyone except other who’ve lived in the Chicago area, but I think that must be Eagle Man, ready to lay his car insurance eggs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_y1xfzV8dM
[re=515337]Doglessliberal[/re]: An elephtopus.
$10 says both those dudes are some poor, deluded college kid trying to get “CPAC Intern” on their resume.
There’s a whole Army of Dick behind the elesquid
is that last one Cthulu?
It’s the Joe Stack Memorial Service. American Solutions, indeed.
WTF is Tickly Octopus doing at CPAC?
Anyone ever see the movie, The Angry Red Planet?
Is anyone else feeling turned on right now?
MINE EYES HATH SEEN THE GLORY OF THE FURRY OF THE LORD
[re=515356]NineInchNachos[/re]: [re=515399]brown_recluse[/re]: yeah, ok, that was my first thought too. but not nearly green enough and lacking in electability.
[re=515337]Doglessliberal[/re]: The message has got to be, try the calamri buffet tonight, it’s delicious.
Y’all are confused: K-Lo just looks slightly different without her necklace.
The Eagle has landed. And it has no eyes.
Crap. Now I’ve just wasted 20 minutes reading about Cthulhu. Thanks a lot Jim.
Needs more Klingons. And Imperial Stormtroopers. And Batman. Heck, some confederates too?
Since “elephant” is letting us see his human hands anyway, why not go ahead and prop up that trunk in an upright, “triumphant” position? Either that or incorporate a few different materials into the costume next time. I hear styrofoam works.
Shit! If I’d known a furries post was on deck, I would’ve held off on linking to last month’s issue of <a href=”FURVERT Magazine“>FURVERT Magazine in the previous thread.
[re=515359]NineInchNachos[/re]: Lovecraft is to theology what Any Rand is to economics.
[re=515401]gurukalehuru[/re]: On the “American Solutions” web site “general chairman” Newt Gingrich, in the “about” section, uses the same Einstein quote of about insanity used by Joe Stack. Coincidence?
I dutifully reported this to the wonkette tips department, and expect to be ignored, just like in real life.
Oddly enough, I have some hours in a PA-28-140.
Remember to thank our brave troops. http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61F0OE20100216
Just another crazy day at the corner of Arkham and Miskatonic.
On a more positive note, Raven has really polished her “Disco Critter” characterization.
Is…is that supposed to be a web-footed bald eagle?
Here’s a pic of what’s on the back of the eagle’s sign:
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm48/SayItWithWookies/?action=view¤t=CPACEagle.jpg&newest=1
Needs more Sarah Silverman.
[re=515433]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s CPAC, there will be many furrie posts-and please please that link in every one!
[re=515439]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Shouldn’t it be wearing wingtips, har-har?
[re=515337]Doglessliberal[/re]:
It’s Splashy! The Waterboarding Squid!
If this place was bombed, and I’m not advocating violence, but if it were, we could raise the nation’s IQ by 50 points easily.
[re=515448]WadISay[/re]:
Golf shoes, obviously.
[re=515440]SayItWithWookies[/re]: During one especially boring CPAC break-out meeting, the Eagle quitely slipped away to the men’s room where he furtively rubbed one out, patriotic tears and semen falling at his talons like so many broken American dreams.
I’m just excited to start reading Craigslist M4M “MWM seeks same, discreet, in town for weekend only” posts again. Oh, wait, FIRST.
An eagle with duck feet?
[re=515445]freakishlystrong[/re]: Oh, if no one objects, I most certainly will. And next time I’ll even try not to fur-up the motherfurrin’ HTML.
(Also, the color’s off because the pic was created for print. I’ll try to upload a spiffier web-friendly version as well.)
Wild thing, I think you move me.
[re=515487]Extemporanus[/re]: And Photobucket will sell you a mug with that on it, too. The picture, not the semen or tears.
[re=515490]coolcatdaddy[/re]: Shhh…and don’t ask to see his birth certificate either.
[re=515391]JMP[/re]: Look at those loooow rates!
Squidephant needs better shoes.
One of those furries could be that Pennsylvania Republican staffer who tried to lure a school boy into a dog house. AND HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
[re=515421]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: and, for some reason, flippers.
[re=515436]bfstevie[/re]: NEWT GINGRICH DID IT! Tipster/commenter bfstevie writes, “Saw the ‘American Solutions’ furry on the Wonkette. Turns out this is a ‘tri-partisan citizen action network’ whose General Chairman is Newt Gingrich.”
You got props!
Those yellow tights are going to haunt my nightmares
I DON’T want what they were eating/drinking/smoking when they decided those were good costumes and they’d wear them in public.
It’s an ‘obama job creation fail whale’.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/5005/slide_5005_69308_large.
So, that explains that.
There was apparently a Bush Not Killing Thousands of African Americans Fail Whale, but it was in New Orleans when Katrina hit, so ironically it was able to swim to freedom.
Is the elephant/cthuhlu guy wearing a suit under there? Look at his shoes.
It’s the mother of all crocheted Chthulhu sock puppets!
http://www.instructables.com/id/Dread-Crocheted-Cthulhu/
[re=515618]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: You’re shitting me–it’s supposed to be a whale? That’s Fucking Retarded.
[re=515618]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: Your Obama Fail Whale link was broken.
I would totally hit that eagle.
I apologize for my broken link. Please don’t unleash the Fail Whale on me. Or, if you do,
please put a caption on it, so I can tell what the fuck it’s meant to be.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/18/cpac-2010-photos-images-f_n_467857.html
It’s the second photo in that slideshow.
‘That’s Fucking Retarded.’
I only knew he was a Fail Whale, I didn’t know his given name. Suits him.
I don’t care what *they* call that grey blobby thing. *I* think it’s a Squidephant. The cheap shoes are a dead giveaway. No Fail Whale worth his blowhole would be caught DEAD in those fucking retarded shoes.
1. Someone get that poor bald eagle some decent tights from Wolford! Expense be damned, no living creatuer should be condemned to wear those awful yellow things!
2. That elephant (assuming that is an elephant) looks clinically depressed. Break out the Prozac!
(Meant to write “creature” in that post, but my eyes are still recovering from that awful yellow…)
[re=515694]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: I was doing my best Rahm.. However, you are correct–it’s ‘Fucking Retarded’ the Fail Whale.
@JMP Eagleman just laid an egg on the roof of my car.
The highlight of the event will be of course when the furries alternate blowing newt gingrich (he’ll marry one of them, he’s got a lot more hypocrisy left in that giant head with the evil, tiny face) and dick cheney will demonstrate the christian compassion of the right by torturing some unemployed black guy they dressed up like obama…ah, conservatives, they’re a lot more interesting when they get off of their meds and into their weird furry and “patriot” costumes. Come to think of it, is it any surprise that the GOP senators once bukkakied on General Patreaus’ dress uniform? weird costume fetish, indeed.
Whatever that bulbous gray thing is, I hope it doesn’t start wriggling around.
[re=515864]Mr Blifil[/re]: What is “things often heard at CPAC”, Alex?
I recognize my sons shoes sticking out from the sad deflated gray blob-thing..he thought he was gay so I wallpapered his room in a nice Palin print (GOP endorsed) and now he’s just fucking crazy. Its for the best.
Those attendees are sadder than Comic Con.
Fail Whale FAIL.
That is some totally CPAC hair on the dumpy red sweater lady behind Webby and the Fail Whale.
what is American Solutions? An Amway spinoff? If they sell door-to-door, those costumes’ll be a real deal-closer!
Wow now we know rappers learned how to be potty mouths from the educated foul mouth libs who were their teachers in schools.
Please will all you assholes promise to move to iran when we elect sarah palin?
Dont we all love how fast america woke up and saw what morons you so called educated liberals are?
If you liberal progressives ever had to earn an honest living you would starve like the ignorant little piglets you are.
Will be dining on roasted piglet this evening as we educated liberals have our weekly meeting to hatch plans to drive god out of America and our gay-lesbian-transgender friends plan their route to “homo-up” school children everywhere.
Who knew bald eagles were gay? I sure didn’t.
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