So-called “smarty jones” Barack Obama was talking to some schoolchildren yesterday when one of them asked if the Great Wall of China can be seen from the International Space Station. Obama reportedly said that it’s just some dumb rumor. MEANWHILE, in low Earth orbit, the cosmonauts can see not only the Great Wall, but also New York City and the Grand Canyon and the Golden Gate Bridge. Why does Barack Obama hate our space troops? [USA Today]
Why Doesn’t Obama Know What Astronauts Can See?
by Ken Layne
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Shouldn’t the astronauts be destroying the Golden Gate Bridge with their death laser? That’s what the bridge is for!
Stop being a know-it-all, Preznit Barry.
It’s almost like you think you’re smart or something.
Actually, he’s not wrong depending on the altitude and atmospheric conditions and whether or not you are looking at it with something more powerful than the old Mark 1 eyeball.
“You know, kids, when you view Earth from space, it looks so small and peaceful, and you realize that civil liberties and jobs just don’t matter.”
Obama’s mistake hear was listening to and trusting that junkie astronaut, Major Tom.
I don’t care if you’re in elementary school, you do NOT waste your one and only question to the President asking about some chimps in aluminum cans being able to see China.
Like there are really “astronaughts and they somehow circle the earth, right. It’s flat.
Kids really want the preznident to read them a story, like “My Pet Goat.” Good things happen when the pres does that.
I’m still very proud of Barry’s October star party, though. W probably thought that stars are Jesus’s jewelry.
Yes but can they see the future and is it murder?
If he had said yes, Hannity would be shrieking in that high pitched voice about how Obama has honored the Communist, in front of our children.
Snopes.com says the Great-Wall-from-space claim is false: http://www.snopes.com/science/greatwall.asp, so Barry should stand his ground.
Classic punch line:
“Paul, I can see your house from up here.”
[re=514932]Chickensmack[/re]: To be precise, they are God’s daisy chain.
The astronauts can see into your bedroom, so be careful what you do or say, kid.
Barry doesn’t want the Chinese to know we can see their crumbly stinkin’ wall, obviously. Way to go, USATOday, giving aid and comfort. Barry is way ahead of the Chinese, he plays 3-D chess, or Holographic Laser Go, or something.
[re=514932]Chickensmack[/re]: As a good believing Christian, W probably rejects Copernican astronomy and still believes in the Ptolemaic system, so the stars are all on a fixed sphere that encloses the planets and beyond which lies Heaven.
Hell, he actually force NASA to stick in disclaimers claiming “the big bang is just a theory”.
[re=514944]bfstevie[/re]: Oh Jesus, one of my favourite jokes ever!! Along with the other classic along the same lines with the punchline “My Feet!”.
Palin would have probably said that she can see the Great Wall from her house so of course the astronauts can see it from space.
Lots of Ken Layne this morning.
Where’s the Ginger?
“Locked out” on the balcony again?
[re=514953]JMP[/re]: Hell, he actually force NASA to stick in disclaimers claiming “the big bang is just a theory”.
Are you sure that wasn’t Laura?
He actually said, “Make no mistake, I hear it’s an unprecedented rumor.”
I think he would’ve looked WAY more presidential if he’d just sat there for seven minutes, blinking.
They weren’t sent up there to spend the whole day rubbernecking the earth below. They were sent there to do, uh, important science…things. Like walking on a treadmill named after Stephen Colbert.
And the Great Wall of China was erected to keep the Dalai Lama out of China.
[re=514958]PsycGirl[/re]: Now, as a traumatized, Stepford wife, Laura probably really believes that three and a half inches is really, really big.
I can see Uranus.
[re=514959]WadISay[/re]: I always thought that it was ironic that a man who couldn’t do anything right would always preface his comments with the phrase, “Make no mistake.”
[re=514944]bfstevie[/re]: It’s “Peter, Peter, I can see your house from here.” He was the Jesus denying disciple, Paul was still a tent maker from Tarsus at the time named Saul.
Fuck space. He needs to tell the kids to KEEP THEIR FILTHY MUSLIN FEET OFF THE FURNITURE.
[re=514943]noodleman[/re]: Snopes says that this “space” is quite large, also.
Meanwhile freepers were aghast when Obama did not tip his hat after a lady entered the room, stating that it was a “blatant sign of disrespect by an arrogant, arrogant man”
Best Far Side cartoon ever: Picture of the Great Wall with Chinese man saying, “Now let’s see if that dog gets in here.”
One of the astronauts replied that they’ve had fantastic views of San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, New York City’s skyscrapers and the Grand Canyon through their huge new window on the world.
And as anyone who’s used Google Earth is aware, the astronauts are going to spend hours on end looking at chicks sunbathing topless.
[re=514972]Ducksworthy[/re]: It’s not just large; space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space.
[re=514943]noodleman[/re]: Yes, but Snopes has a librul bias, so you can’t trust them. The Freepers told me so. (WARNING! NSFW link to FreeRepublic.com!) They’re In The Tank for Barry.
“Kids, we’re all spinning on a big blue marble hurtling randomly in a vast expanse of nothing, without a clue as to how the universe came to be, what preceded it, or what holds it all together. With that in mind, I’d recommend a lot more fucking and mind-altering than you probably have currently planned for, because, really, whatever you during the period where your consciousness is active, there just isn’t very much of a point to it.”
[re=514919]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Marry me?
Also, after reading the feel-good intro, I swear my Wonkette-warped brain expected the following sentence to end this way:
Obama’s 2011 budget proposal kills NASA’s $100 billion plan to return astronauts to the earth.
[re=514978]JMP[/re]: One point for the Hitchiker reference.
[re=514993]President Beeblebrox[/re]: That’s weird because I’ve always detected a slight whiff of conservative editorializing in the final comments on many, many entries. Hunh, shows what I know. That’s what I get for not ordering tickets to XXXXTREMEMCACK 2010 early, I guess.
I’d hop on a shuttle right now if it meant getting too far away to see Maher in the corner of my viewfinder. Bring back Siemens all over the screen!
[re=514955]Limeylizzie[/re]: I also like the one that ends “Sometimes you really piss me off, Mom.”
I hate Snopes. They’re so fucking picky.
[re=514975]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Don’t forget the terribly racist but hilarious South Park episode City Wok Guy’s Great Wall, which has the message don’t stereotype while it sterotypes everyone, so it’s OK? Anyway, “Fuck you, Mongolians!”
(Apologies if the site shows an ad before the clip, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.)
Ugh. Verily… today, we all spell it “P-O-T-A-T-O-E”.
Imagine the outrage if we had TSA agents in space, leering at our naughty bits on their 3-D monitors!
[re=515027]gurukalehuru[/re]: That’s probably my favorite.
Also, let’s honor Tom Lehrer’s The Vatican Rag.
You can also see Meghan McCain and Bristol Palin from space.
[re=515027]gurukalehuru[/re]: Oh noes, a Jeebus joke that I, a lapsed English Catholic, do not know….please do tell.
[re=515074]Katydid[/re]: OK, last comment, but speaking of space, here’s Tom Lehrer’s brilliant take on Wernher von Braun.
Wait, real Americans are letting President Obama talk to their children?! Obviously he is going to try to indoctrinate them with his Kenyan socialist mind control. Where is Glen Beck when we need him?
[re=514955]Limeylizzie[/re]: It may be too late for anyone to see this, but here’s one more great punchline. In fact, it’s the punchline to the funniest joke ever.
“But sir, the men always ride the camel into town.”
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