OH BOY  5:53 pm February 17, 2010

CPAC Sights To See: Angry Anger People Destroying Nancy Pelosi Donkey

by Jim Newell

CPAC starts tomorrow! Get your blazer and khakis ready, because Mittens will have a checklist and an unlimited number of demerits to issue. And if you get CPAC Detention, you won’t be able to beat the shit out of Nancy Pelosi and eat/play with her innards!

Attendees at a conservative conference in town this week will have the opportunity to whack a pinata of Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.)…

…Three famous D.C. residents will be taking a turn as guest “whackers” at the pinata during the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which starts on Thursday. The guest “whackers” will be at the party, to be held at George in Georgetown.

Mary Christopher, outreach coordinator for CivicForumPAC, said the Pelosi piñata will be filled with favorite Pelosi sayings, bills and candy. The party hopes to invite the well-known D.C. residents to smash the piñata first, before others in attendance will be invited to try to take the Speaker down.

Why are three fat-cats granted special permission to kill the Speaker of the House and take her candy first, before the masses of mouth-breathers will be left to dig through remaining pieces of paper, with words they are unable to read?

Because it’s CPAC, duh. What good’s an ideology if you don’t stick to it!

Well, that’s progress, I guess [Michael Tomasky]

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SlouchingTowardsWasilla February 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Any attendee taking a whack at the Pelosi pinata should be grabbed by their arms and have enough pressure applied to indicate that this sort of behavior is not acceptable in polite society.

Suds McKenzie February 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

That Pinata will be the only “ethnic” is all of CPAC.

Tommmcatt February 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Why are three fat-cats granted special permission to kill the Speaker of the House and take her candy first, before the masses of mouth-breathers will be left to dig through remaining pieces of paper, with words they are unable to read?

Uh, have you seen the Republican Platform lately? This will be the performance art version.

Way Cool Larry February 17, 2010 at 6:00 pm

better watch out, or Steve King will go all “American Eagle” on her ass

btw, best gif ever!

Jim Newell February 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm

[re=514629]Tommmcatt[/re]: That’s what I says!

Way Cool Larry February 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm

… or “Desert Eagle”– whatever that lame name is for his schlong gun

Extemporanus February 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm

“Estas Botas Fueron Hechas Para Caminar” was Nancy Piñatra’s biggest hit.

ManchuCandidate February 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm

Civility at its best.

Smoke Filled Roommate February 17, 2010 at 6:07 pm

“We’re hoping to have the females whack the piñata and males try their hand at a Harry Reid punching bag.”

What if a guy wants to whack? Does that mean he’s gay?

BeWoot February 17, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Whackers = wankers.

Smoke Filled Roommate February 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm

[re=514643]BeWoot[/re]: Whole lotta whackin’ goin on..

Radiotherapy February 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Pinhead yada yada yada.

Troubledog February 17, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Crazy Piñata chewing and clawing her way into my house.

Snarkalicious February 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Oooh! CPAC! Please use this as the launching point for Sarah Palin’s presidential campaign…pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. I swear if you do, I’ll never bug you for a pony again.

Sharkey February 17, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Happy Whacking Day!

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Whacking… donkey punching… tea bagging… sounds like CPAC is a whole lot of fun (Xtreme, even).

S.Luggo February 17, 2010 at 6:23 pm

CPAC gonna getz downz wid dah youngs and, you know, like relate.

Can’t wait to see what happens when Billy Kristol starts handing out the blotter acid.

SmutBoffin February 17, 2010 at 6:24 pm

This is probably the least objectionable thing that has ever happened at CPAC.


doxastic February 17, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I love CPAC season. My favorite so far is the closing of Dave Weigel’s report from the Mount Vernon Retardery signing statements: “Whoever did this needs to do some more research,” said [George Washington impersonator] Manship/Washington, pointing at the giant paper sharing the photo with him. “The kerning’s too close.”

Tommmcatt February 17, 2010 at 6:28 pm

[re=514633]Jim Newell[/re]:

I literally read all of it except the last sentence. Seriously.

BeWoot February 17, 2010 at 6:29 pm

Whackin’ the Nancy. I get some sweet feelings off that imagery.

doxastic February 17, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Any self-respecting 8 year old would tell you that a pinata filled with bills, sayings, and candy is 2/3rds suck.

Snarkalicious February 17, 2010 at 6:35 pm

[re=514667]doxastic[/re]: What if they’re small, un-marked bills?

AnnieGetYourFun February 17, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Piñatas are messican, no? Why does CPAC love messicans/hate murkans so much?

One Yield Regular February 17, 2010 at 6:44 pm

You’ve GOT to be kidding me. What, did the proposal to burn her in effigy run afoul of the fire marshal?

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 7:10 pm

[re=514683]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Ah, but they totally favor *beating* mexicans, so this is the next best thing.

Jukesgrrl February 17, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Who goes to CPAC in khakis and blazers? I thought they dressed up like furries, hookers, Founding Fathers, or wore the kind of home-made Little House on the Prairie outfits the Crying Santorums sport. (And I have it on good authority that Mittens is bringing his green rubber gloves.)

Zadig February 17, 2010 at 7:44 pm

[re=514654]Mad Brahms[/re]: And yet at least six speakers at the conference will dedicate their entire keynote time to decrying the evils of dirt-covered men named Sanchez.

Berkeley Bear February 17, 2010 at 7:52 pm

[re=514684]One Yield Regular[/re]: Remember, these were the folks who went apeshit when a doll of palin was hung (not even a real effigy) at Halloween – so yeah, they think this is totally different, since its plainly satire and all.

Can you seriously imagine the fucking shitstorm that would come down on Dems if say the next Pride Fest had a similar pinata of Boner? Crazy Eyes Bachmann? Or worse yet, a drag queen show featuring Palin, Bachmann and Virginia Foxx look-alikes singing “Its Raining Men”? Although I think it would be pretty damn sweet.

libwakman February 17, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Got sumpthin sweet you can whack right here.

sati demise February 17, 2010 at 8:00 pm

[re=514633]Jim Newell[/re]: its brilliant!

sati demise February 17, 2010 at 8:03 pm

They all actually believe in an email about Speaker Pelosi making the wingnut intertube express.
For years and years now.

Have you seen it?
I wish I had a copy right now.

sati demise February 17, 2010 at 8:13 pm

[re=514738]sati demise[/re]: The messages will all be “quotes” from Nancy Pelosi.

Quotes they made up, things she never said, etc.
They are all contained in this email…
You ,know, quotes the wingnuts “know” Nancy says to herself in her head.
How do they read the mind of Pelosi?

The Lucky Wife February 17, 2010 at 9:30 pm

[re=514722]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I thought that this year they would be wearing hats with tea bags hanging from the brim.

WickedWitch February 17, 2010 at 9:44 pm

[re=514698]Mad Brahms[/re]: No, they believe in beating the bejeezus out of little colored boys who are trying to defend their Doritos and their mamas from lecherous colored men.

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 9:50 pm

[re=514780]WickedWitch[/re]: The white man’s burden is terrible indeed.

S.Luggo February 17, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Not too sexist. The winner gets to campaign for Rick Perry in the Texas Rethug primaries.

Tough kazoobies, Kay Bailey. Now finishing airing out the g-damn drapes. And where’s my ass-humping dinner? I warned you. It won’t get pretty if I’m kept hungry. And answer the fucking phone.

Mad Brahms February 18, 2010 at 12:07 am

[re=514795]S.Luggo[/re]: Hutchison is too old to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and has thus outlived her youthfulness.

Let this be a lesson: watch out Sarah. You can’t keep poppin’ out ‘tards forever!

Mad Brahms February 18, 2010 at 12:07 am

[re=514828]Mad Brahms[/re]: Usefulness. USEFUL. Freudian, though.

villageatrois February 18, 2010 at 12:33 am

[re=514828]Mad Brahms[/re]: Just one more Pop-tard? She could get her wedding ring back from the bottom of the lake first. If not, the banner ad says, “Somewhere in America, you’ll find Siemens”.

hoosiermama February 18, 2010 at 12:37 am

Worst Mexican fiesta, ever.

S.Luggo February 18, 2010 at 1:35 am

[re=514839]hoosiermama[/re]: Remember the Alamo.

gurukalehuru February 18, 2010 at 3:28 am

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy. You take impeachment off the table and they use your head for a pinata. Serves you fucking right.
Sorry about the no snark. I hate Nancy Pelosi as much as any right winger and I refuse to start liking her just because they hate her.
Whack that bitch.

kewlguy42069 February 18, 2010 at 7:05 am

I understand conservatives hating on liberal politicians but this ultra-seething Pelosi hate seems like some kind of mommy/rejection/repressed homosexuality issue

clientnumber8 February 18, 2010 at 8:09 am

…and when the proles scramble for the candy, they’ll get whacked too.

PsycGirl February 18, 2010 at 10:34 am

[re=514651]Snarkalicious[/re]: Well, depictions of Palin are intended for whacking OFF, totally incompatible. I hope.

llibra February 18, 2010 at 11:07 am

[re=514829]Mad Brahms[/re]: I thought “youthfulness” was a brilliant stroke.

llibra February 18, 2010 at 11:10 am

What the hell? Guess this is the closest they could come to lynching an effigy of the President.

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

This may be too obvious to say, but all you Wonkette commenters whining about being poor and unemployed should bone up on your papier-machè skills and hie thee down to CPAC. You know there’s a big market in this, waiting to be tapped.

From Hopey to Pelosi on down, there are a lot dem leaders that these mature, thoughtful, conservative thinkers would love to beat to death, in effigy (or otherwise).

BruceLee5000 February 18, 2010 at 6:35 pm

[re=514982]llibra[/re]: No. That’s later. After sundown. They’ll have one of Barry hanging from a tree on the side of the parking lot. Complete with a dark brown papier-machè phallus they can cut off and toss around victoriously. Hell, they could even make it it out of the Bill of Rights and some Elmer’s glue! Horse Hooves for a horse cock! :(

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