oh boy

CPAC Sights To See: Angry Anger People Destroying Nancy Pelosi Donkey

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

CPAC starts tomorrow! Get your blazer and khakis ready, because Mittens will have a checklist and an unlimited number of demerits to issue. And if you get CPAC Detention, you won’t be able to beat the shit out of Nancy Pelosi and eat/play with her innards!

Attendees at a conservative conference in town this week will have the opportunity to whack a pinata of Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.)…

…Three famous D.C. residents will be taking a turn as guest “whackers” at the pinata during the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which starts on Thursday. The guest “whackers” will be at the party, to be held at George in Georgetown.

Mary Christopher, outreach coordinator for CivicForumPAC, said the Pelosi piñata will be filled with favorite Pelosi sayings, bills and candy. The party hopes to invite the well-known D.C. residents to smash the piñata first, before others in attendance will be invited to try to take the Speaker down.

Why are three fat-cats granted special permission to kill the Speaker of the House and take her candy first, before the masses of mouth-breathers will be left to dig through remaining pieces of paper, with words they are unable to read?

Because it’s CPAC, duh. What good’s an ideology if you don’t stick to it!

Well, that’s progress, I guess [Michael Tomasky]

Sponsored Intermission

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    Any attendee taking a whack at the Pelosi pinata should be grabbed by their arms and have enough pressure applied to indicate that this sort of behavior is not acceptable in polite society.

  • Suds McKenzie

    That Pinata will be the only “ethnic” is all of CPAC.

  • Tommmcatt

    Why are three fat-cats granted special permission to kill the Speaker of the House and take her candy first, before the masses of mouth-breathers will be left to dig through remaining pieces of paper, with words they are unable to read?

    Uh, have you seen the Republican Platform lately? This will be the performance art version.

  • Way Cool Larry

    better watch out, or Steve King will go all “American Eagle” on her ass

    btw, best gif ever!

  • Jim Newell

    [re=514629]Tommmcatt[/re]: That’s what I says!

  • Way Cool Larry

    … or “Desert Eagle”– whatever that lame name is for his schlong gun

  • Extemporanus

    “Estas Botas Fueron Hechas Para Caminar” was Nancy Piñatra’s biggest hit.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Civility at its best.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    “We’re hoping to have the females whack the piñata and males try their hand at a Harry Reid punching bag.”

    What if a guy wants to whack? Does that mean he’s gay?

  • BeWoot

    Whackers = wankers.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=514643]BeWoot[/re]: Whole lotta whackin’ goin on..

  • Radiotherapy

    Pinhead yada yada yada.

  • Troubledog

    Crazy Piñata chewing and clawing her way into my house.

  • Snarkalicious

    Oooh! CPAC! Please use this as the launching point for Sarah Palin’s presidential campaign…pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. I swear if you do, I’ll never bug you for a pony again.

  • Sharkey

    Happy Whacking Day!

  • Mad Brahms

    Whacking… donkey punching… tea bagging… sounds like CPAC is a whole lot of fun (Xtreme, even).

  • S.Luggo

    CPAC gonna getz downz wid dah youngs and, you know, like relate.

    Can’t wait to see what happens when Billy Kristol starts handing out the blotter acid.

  • SmutBoffin

    This is probably the least objectionable thing that has ever happened at CPAC.


  • doxastic

    I love CPAC season. My favorite so far is the closing of Dave Weigel’s report from the Mount Vernon Retardery signing statements: “Whoever did this needs to do some more research,” said [George Washington impersonator] Manship/Washington, pointing at the giant paper sharing the photo with him. “The kerning’s too close.”

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=514633]Jim Newell[/re]:

    I literally read all of it except the last sentence. Seriously.

  • BeWoot

    Whackin’ the Nancy. I get some sweet feelings off that imagery.

  • doxastic

    Any self-respecting 8 year old would tell you that a pinata filled with bills, sayings, and candy is 2/3rds suck.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=514667]doxastic[/re]: What if they’re small, un-marked bills?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Piñatas are messican, no? Why does CPAC love messicans/hate murkans so much?

  • One Yield Regular

    You’ve GOT to be kidding me. What, did the proposal to burn her in effigy run afoul of the fire marshal?

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=514683]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Ah, but they totally favor *beating* mexicans, so this is the next best thing.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Who goes to CPAC in khakis and blazers? I thought they dressed up like furries, hookers, Founding Fathers, or wore the kind of home-made Little House on the Prairie outfits the Crying Santorums sport. (And I have it on good authority that Mittens is bringing his green rubber gloves.)

  • Zadig

    [re=514654]Mad Brahms[/re]: And yet at least six speakers at the conference will dedicate their entire keynote time to decrying the evils of dirt-covered men named Sanchez.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=514684]One Yield Regular[/re]: Remember, these were the folks who went apeshit when a doll of palin was hung (not even a real effigy) at Halloween – so yeah, they think this is totally different, since its plainly satire and all.

    Can you seriously imagine the fucking shitstorm that would come down on Dems if say the next Pride Fest had a similar pinata of Boner? Crazy Eyes Bachmann? Or worse yet, a drag queen show featuring Palin, Bachmann and Virginia Foxx look-alikes singing “Its Raining Men”? Although I think it would be pretty damn sweet.

  • libwakman

    Got sumpthin sweet you can whack right here.

  • sati demise

    [re=514633]Jim Newell[/re]: its brilliant!

  • sati demise

    They all actually believe in an email about Speaker Pelosi making the wingnut intertube express.
    For years and years now.

    Have you seen it?
    I wish I had a copy right now.

  • sati demise

    [re=514738]sati demise[/re]: The messages will all be “quotes” from Nancy Pelosi.

    Quotes they made up, things she never said, etc.
    They are all contained in this email…
    You ,know, quotes the wingnuts “know” Nancy says to herself in her head.
    How do they read the mind of Pelosi?

  • The Lucky Wife

    [re=514722]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I thought that this year they would be wearing hats with tea bags hanging from the brim.

  • WickedWitch

    [re=514698]Mad Brahms[/re]: No, they believe in beating the bejeezus out of little colored boys who are trying to defend their Doritos and their mamas from lecherous colored men.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=514780]WickedWitch[/re]: The white man’s burden is terrible indeed.

  • S.Luggo

    Not too sexist. The winner gets to campaign for Rick Perry in the Texas Rethug primaries.

    Tough kazoobies, Kay Bailey. Now finishing airing out the g-damn drapes. And where’s my ass-humping dinner? I warned you. It won’t get pretty if I’m kept hungry. And answer the fucking phone.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=514795]S.Luggo[/re]: Hutchison is too old to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and has thus outlived her youthfulness.

    Let this be a lesson: watch out Sarah. You can’t keep poppin’ out ‘tards forever!

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=514828]Mad Brahms[/re]: Usefulness. USEFUL. Freudian, though.

  • villageatrois

    [re=514828]Mad Brahms[/re]: Just one more Pop-tard? She could get her wedding ring back from the bottom of the lake first. If not, the banner ad says, “Somewhere in America, you’ll find Siemens”.

  • hoosiermama

    Worst Mexican fiesta, ever.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=514839]hoosiermama[/re]: Remember the Alamo.

  • gurukalehuru

    Nancy, Nancy, Nancy. You take impeachment off the table and they use your head for a pinata. Serves you fucking right.
    Sorry about the no snark. I hate Nancy Pelosi as much as any right winger and I refuse to start liking her just because they hate her.
    Whack that bitch.

  • kewlguy42069

    I understand conservatives hating on liberal politicians but this ultra-seething Pelosi hate seems like some kind of mommy/rejection/repressed homosexuality issue

  • clientnumber8

    …and when the proles scramble for the candy, they’ll get whacked too.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=514651]Snarkalicious[/re]: Well, depictions of Palin are intended for whacking OFF, totally incompatible. I hope.

  • llibra

    [re=514829]Mad Brahms[/re]: I thought “youthfulness” was a brilliant stroke.

  • llibra

    What the hell? Guess this is the closest they could come to lynching an effigy of the President.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    This may be too obvious to say, but all you Wonkette commenters whining about being poor and unemployed should bone up on your papier-machè skills and hie thee down to CPAC. You know there’s a big market in this, waiting to be tapped.

    From Hopey to Pelosi on down, there are a lot dem leaders that these mature, thoughtful, conservative thinkers would love to beat to death, in effigy (or otherwise).

  • BruceLee5000

    [re=514982]llibra[/re]: No. That’s later. After sundown. They’ll have one of Barry hanging from a tree on the side of the parking lot. Complete with a dark brown papier-machè phallus they can cut off and toss around victoriously. Hell, they could even make it it out of the Bill of Rights and some Elmer’s glue! Horse Hooves for a horse cock! :(