PETA is furious at beloved Iowa Rep. Steve King, presumably for not using his rocket launcher to waste this Crazy Raccoon. [Raw Story]
A BLOODY MESS 4:18 pm February 17, 2010
Steve King Ate Well Last Week
Hola wonkerados.
To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?
Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.
blog advertising is good for you
{ 91 comments }
I hope he shared the leftovers with Neilist.
Goddamn A real Amerrikun hero at last. Stop them muslin coons. Drink some more whisky.
Crazy Raccoon is actually the nickname of an Iowa City whore. Hint to cops: check the crawl space.
What kind of fucking idiot uses a magnum (.357 or .44) on a raccoon?
Only the manliest of men use a handgun against a rodent.
I think this incident calls for 100 Naked Female Celebrity Pictures.
Awww… look, it made his little penis grow.
He so wanted to say “Crazy Coon”
[re=514482]trondant[/re]: Hahahahahahahahahaha
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …the kind that need a reason to use their new power washer.
I know so little about the ways of real men that that entire tweet just looks like a random collection of words and numbers.
[re=514506]Tommmcatt[/re]: Behold:
http://l33tawpcamper.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/desert-eagle.jpg
As Steve King is clearly rabid, we might say it’s tied at Desert Eagle 1*, Crazy Raccoon 1**
* pyrrhic
** posthumous (postzoious?)
[re=514506]Tommmcatt[/re]: Same here. My first thought was, why is a guy from Iowa calling himself the Desert Eagle? And how do we know he shot it instead of just kicking it out of the house? But apparently there’s a reference to something I’m not getting.
Good job, Congressman King. Raccoons are well-know destructive scavengers, therefore they tend to vote Republican.
[re=514503]Hamster[/re]: that’s what I’m thinking!
I wonder what type of firearm Steve King would use to neutralize a weasel ripping his flesh.
And more importantly, why he has yet to do so.
[re=514515]JMP[/re]: [re=514506]Tommmcatt[/re]: My gun nut brother has one, it’s a .50 cal hand cannon, bigger than a magnum. That thing would have blown that raccoon to Florida.
[re=514515]JMP[/re]: [re=514511]V572625694[/re]:
AHA! A huge, black, penis replacement. I have seen that kind of thing before, though not in metal.
Now I get it.
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well, he had to use an Israeli handgun, to show his support for AIPAC / hatred of muslins (true fact: all raccoons are muslin).
Those crazy freezing racoons… what with their seeking out warm places to take shelter and all. SHOOT EM’ ALL TO HELL
I would’ve just given him a hot dog. Or peanut butter – they love that.
Let us acknowledge that Rep Steve King(IA) has surely mastered the Tweet. That’s some crazy haiku…
I somehow believe he said coon and not raccoon.
Serve it with arugula.
A Desert Eagle. For a raccoon. I guess he left his howitzer and hand grenades at the office.
“Crazy coon trying to get in my (white) house to discuss healthcare reform” is how I read it.
Probably would have put its feet on the desk, too.
[re=514526]Tommmcatt[/re]: Why can’t the wignuts just get a sportscar penis substitute like a normal person, and leave the poor raccoons alone.
Steven King: Iowa’s 2nd most embarrassing politician.
You know he celebrated the kill with a hearty “USA! USA! USA!”
“… and said he refused to tolerate ‘an animal that might be sick, might be rabid, out there.’”
So… he just goes around literally shooting everything that moves?
Later he said “We appreciate the wildlife”
Buy blowing it’s fucking brains out? sick fuck
Well, at least it probably didn’t feel much pain as it exploded into raccoon giblets
Did he cook it up in a popcorn popper, Huckabee style?
I thought the Desert Eagle .50 was great in Snatch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTi6GGywBAM
Well, later he did say ‘coon:
‘”I can’t have a crazy ’coon,” King said, Roll Call reported.’
Honestly, my first reaction to reading the blurb and Tweet was “I wonder if it was tasty?”. But a squirrel-hunting coworker suspects that racoons are not delicious, given what they eat. But – what about hogs? They used to eat actual swill and ended up being very tasty!
[re=514526]Tommmcatt[/re]: [re=514540]BeWoot[/re]: [re=514561]jetjaguar[/re]: Lord help all creatures great and small should Steve King ever see From Dusk Till Dawn.
He goes off half-cocked enough as it is — I can only imagine the kind of carnage a malt Cialis-chugging King might unleash if he were packing GunNutz™.
[re=514558]gurukalehuru[/re]: And Congress’s #1 asshole.
I hope someone finally digs up the police report from when his brother was “accidentally” shot, with Steve King holding the shotgun.
C’mon, peoples — A raccoon wears a MASK, clearly criminal if not outright terrorist!!!
Anybody know if the resulting red mist gave Rep. King that old Iowa Slaughterhouse Neurological Disease?
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: That was the first thing I thought as well. Seriously, he is either telling a lie or has got to be retarded. Or both.
[re=514569]Crank Tango[/re]:
Steve needs the Desert Eagle for protection from Zee Racoons.
I have actually dined on raccoon.
Cooked slowly with sliced sweet potatoes, It remided me of a cross between yankee pot roast (beef) and braised pork.
Carl Hiassen has a recurring charachter in his novels who eats fresh road kill every day.
Since we’re in a ‘
depressionrecession’, I don’t look down my nose at such behavior at all.Oops! I thought I was on Serious Eats.
Damned Republicans.
Lucky, Jim Newell didn’t live next door to this yahoo yesterday.
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: In fairness, maybe that’s his only gun. Or the only one he had loaded, or something. Honestly if a fucking wild animal is trying to break into my house I’m going to freak out and react with extreme overkill too.
I think I just found a Siemen’s answer at work!
[KABLAM!!!]
Oh, sorry. It was just a raccoon.
[re=514585]bhosp[/re]:
In my experience, raccoons aren’t all that hard to scare and aren’t much of a threat. Loud noise usually works. But then again I usually don’t wet my pants over wildlife that is much smaller than me.
[re=514574]Come here a minute[/re]: This crime scene photo of King is pretty damning.
Expected reaction:
HE SHOT ANIMAL WITH GUN!! GUNS GOOD . ANIMALS FOR COMMIE LIBERALS. STEVE KING GOOD. AMERICA AND FREEDUMB!! ME VOTE FOR KING.
[re=514511]V572625694[/re]: I thought that was meant only for use on illegals.
[re=514585]bhosp[/re]: Honestly if a fucking wild animal is trying to break into my house I’m going to freak out and react with extreme overkill too.
A ‘fucking wild animal’ the size of a big house cat? That’s all it takes to freak you out?
I’m guessing that ‘chewing and clawing his way into my house’ is code for ‘Dammit. Left the garbage/leftovers/dog food outside again cause I’m too lazy to lock it in the garage.”
Haha, I just looked a picture of that gun up. It’s fucking huge. That twitter just sealed his re-election for 10 more terms.
[re=514603]schlock and flaws[/re]:
First, they came for the raccoons, and I said nothing.
I had a friend who knew a guy who had a sister that found a raccoon in her living room doing god only knows what.
[re=514606]S.Luggo[/re]:
As usual, you win!
wtf camper fag
wtf camper fag
lol noob!!1
But really, that’s a poser gun.
[re=514603]schlock and flaws[/re]: Um, I beg to differ with you regarding the size of ‘a fucking wild animal’ in this case: Racoons are quite a bit bigger than “a big house cat”. One that is either acclimated enough to human interaction, or rabid enough to continue clawing into a house that is occupied might merit being shot. Using a hand howitzer to dispatch it was a little over the top, and yucking it up on Twitter might be tasteless, but he was probably justified. I would imagine King doesn’t reside in the home much either, so it might have been more a resident of the residence than King, but again, 40 pounds of foamy furry fury coming at one makes one want to take up arms.
[re=514611]no_u[/re]: Thank you for ending my day with a CS 1.6 flashback after 6 hours of hellish meetings.
I wish King would try to claw his way into my house (knock on the door) so I can show him my USP.
[re=514591]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
jesus, what an idiot. Occasionally I leave the doggy door open and a raccoon comes into the house. I just start hollering and stomping about and the damn thing comes running out and climbs the tree. Then again, conservatives are a bunch of Simple Jacks.
[re=514611]no_u[/re]:
Uh oh.
You have taken a long walk on a short pier, bubba.
(Rob opens a cool beer and waits)
[re=514624]Rotundo[/re]: Racoons get about 20 pounds, tops. I have a 17 pound cat.
Also, I somehow doubt King is smart enough to have thought much of anything behind the racoon as 20 pounds of “fury” is hardly enough to stop any Desert Eagle round.
[re=514593]Extemporanus[/re]: Nice tatts. I’ll bet his tramp stamp says: I Shoot Koonz.
After the incident, thoughts of Christ:
http://twitter.com/SteveKingIA/status/9220679571
B-b-but the NRA always taught us that guns don’t kill, people do, so shouldn’t his Twat read “Wingnut Fartsack Asshole 1, Crazy Racoon zero”?
[re=514593]Extemporanus[/re]: I have that same refrigerator.
Shooting a raccoon with a Desert Eagle? Sweet Jeebus!
Did he follow it up by lighting a cigarette with a flamethrower?
[re=514640]glamourdammerung[/re]: We had a racoon problem at the property I used to work at and the trapper showed me one that weighed in at 39 lbs. But yeah these republicans act all tough and shit about a fucking rodent. Shoot it if you have to, but does it really warrant bragging about?
Then again my stepdad brags about shooting a raccoon in his kitchen with a 22–but that one and his cats had a longstanding beef. East Coast / West Coast kinda shit.
So, nobody wanted to speculate on bestiality possibilities?
Fine. I will. & I should add, naming your dong is odd enough. But, Desert Eagle?
That coon ass doesn’t care what is the name of the thing going in.
According to the linked article, he ran out into a blizzard to make sure he shot the creature in the off chance there was something wrong with it. The justification is the same rodent was dumb enough to be near his house earlier.
Translation – he didn’t have his gun handy the first time, he was belittled by his wife/granddaughters, so he got his penis substitute/hand cannon out (and made sure it was the biggest one) and lay in wait for the uppity coon. Only, when the uppity coon came sneaking round again and he tried to blast it all to hell, it embarrassed him again by running the hell away. Massah King couldn’t take it no more, so he stalked out into the cold, killed the desperately fleeing animal with so much overkill to leave tiny little coon bits all over the snow, and briefly felt like a man again.
Somehow I’m guessing the right wing will see this as an allegory about what they should do to kill healthcare reform.
I know a guy who tried to keep the raccoons outa his trash with a old 9-iron, no weighted lid, latch or device could defeat the little bastards en masse. You have to admit that the Israeli hand-cannon is probably more humane though lacking the golf-club & toe to toe with the racoon hoard street/bar cred…
[re=514697]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Damn, beat me to it, and with only a several hour lead.
[re=514640]glamourdammerung[/re]: The world record is 60+ pounds but even an average one can seriously mess up a tough dog…
[re=514727]plowman[/re]: And some people are 500 pounds, and yet that is nowhere near normal. I somehow doubt Steve King ran into SuperRacoon. And even a 40-60 pound ferocious beast is not going to stop a Desert Eagle round. Good thing it was not a mouse or it might have taken hours for them to get King off the chair.
After the inaccurate comments about Pelosi you made a couple of days back, I think you might have an interest in defending stupid behaviour if it comes from a certain party. However, if he did what he claims to have done, it was pretty stupid.
Desert Eagle= Fucking Retard
To hear Steven King talk about shooting anything crazy made me think he was considering suicide.
Racoon, my ass. It was probably just Milhouse.
[re=514482]trondant[/re]: I resent that remark, for a couple of reasons.
1. I agree with ManchuCandidate: Only Complete Dipshit would use a .357 Mag or .44 Mag on an animal the size of a raccoon. A .22 cal. is more than adequate.
2. Only a Complete Dipshit would buy a Desert Eagle in the first place. They’re too heavy; very hard to shoot accurately; and have a tendency to jam. If you’re serious about killing someone (say, a Biology Dept. Chairperson), you’d be better off with a Glock S&W .40 cal. or equivalent. (Or better yet, a shotgun.)
3. Only a Complete Dipshit would shoot a raccoon with anything. (Unless said raccoon was rabid, which can happen.) And I say that despite that one of those black-masked bandits can go through a 10 lb. bag of Purina Cat Chow in one sitting, without looking up. And if your Siamese cat starts growling or making threatening noises, the raccoon is like, “Bring it, BITOCH!”
4. Possums, on the other hand, can be shot at any time, with anything reasonable. Even though they are raccoons without the fancy fur coat.
If a raccoon can chew itself into your house then you have much larger problems than a fucking rodent outside of your house.
The actual score was Desert eagle 2, crazy raccoon 0, next-door neighbor 0.
As someone who once watched a neighbor chase a small bear out of her garden with a broom I am very impressed a man could shoot a raccoon in self-defence of his home and family.
I once had to get a pregnant raccoon out of my friend’s kitchen. It had squeezed through the cat door and was eating a box of Fruity Pebbles. It took me less than 30 seconds to convince it to go back outside, lock the cat door and throw the rest of the cereal out after it because the break in was obviously a pregnancy craving.
Please, no more racoon murder fantasies. We have nothing to fear from our woodland creature friends.
[re=514793]waitforsugar[/re]: Such as hallucinations of a 1000-pound raccoon chewing through your house.
[re=514739]glamourdammerung[/re]: You said “Racoons get about 20 pounds, tops.” I’m not sure what racoons are, much less weigh, but a big raccoon can weight 50-60lbs, the motherfucker will just pick up a trashcan and bust it open across his knee… But if you are raising the possibility of a high powered round passing throught our friend Rocky and posing a threat downrange then you have a point, let’s hope Steve had the sense to at least glanced downrange for toddlers, kittens, unicorns or Nancy… And I stand by anything I said about that bitch so profligate with our fucking tax dollars.
According to wikipedia, raccoons normally weigh 7.9 to 19.8lbs and the larger ones are found in Canada.
[re=514800]CanadianBacon[/re]: As someone who has personally shot a large black bear in the ass with a slingshot from less than ten feet away, I think a man shooting a raccoon in ‘defense of his home and family’ is a big sissy.
[re=514781]Neilist[/re]: So, to sum up: Wrong to shoot Biology dept. heads who can eat 10 lbs of pet food in one sitting, take a housecat out using their bare
pawshands, and don’t have rabies. Got it.I only know what desert eagles are from when rappers talk about them, so I hope the raccoon first had a chance to chew the shit out of Steve King’s #9 Jordans and his fucking bag of pot and took a shit on his custom rims. Plus he totally made up that story because he is a pussy!
[re=514781]Neilist[/re]: But did King use Black Talons?
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Desert Eagle is a .50 cal. That’s the minimum firepower for surviving a thunderous raccoon charge in the wild.
..and then he celebrated the kill by skewering the remaining raccoon parts on a stick and running naked through his backyard in a fervor in which only using a huge firearm in an unnecessary situation can produce.
[re=514493]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I like to think he went whole-hog with his DE and got one chambered in .50AE
If it was Zombie Reagan chewing and clawing his way into the house, King would have just opened the door for him.
Comments on this entry are closed.