Many Americans enjoyed this ad for cheesy potato chips that aired during a television football game last week, making for some good water-cooler chat the next day, in the unemployment line. Conservative columnist and radio host Dennis Prager, writing in National Review, explains why they’re wrong.
Make sure you watch the potato chip ad first, if you have not seen it.
Here are the major elements of dysfunctionality this ad depicts:
First, a child smacking an adult across the face is not funny. It is, in fact, one of the last things society should tolerate. I will deal with the widespread defense of the child’s action — “he was only protecting his mother” — later. [Ed. -- he later addresses this saying it "may well be true," but reveals other societal dysfunctions, like... black people being on teevee in general, probably.]
In real life, a child who hits an adult needs to be disciplined. If a child did that to me, I would grab his offending arm and apply enough force to make it clear that he will never do that again.
WAR:
Some clichés are true; I find this one meaningless.The truth is very different: Immoral violence breeds violence; moral violence (such as just wars, police work, and appropriate parental discipline) reduces violence.
Dennis Prager has beaten the shit out of so many children over the years:
The Doritos kid deserved a physical response from this man — as in pressure on the offending arm. With regard to the argument that this man was not the boy’s parent — and the terrible fact that there is far too much hitting and abuse of children by stepfathers and boyfriends — I do not believe that only parents may physically respond to a child. Teachers, for example, should be permitted to do so — I was physically dealt with by a number of teachers, and in every case I deserved it. I also did so as a camp counselor — to great effect. And so should the man whom the child in the ad smacked. In an ideal world, all adults raise all children in some way.
Campers truly feared the “Prager Dick-Whip,” and all grew up to be… in therapy.
The man also should’ve slapped the woman for dressing like such a harlot — him being a man and her a woman, a sinner, a mere weakling receptacle.
Dennis Prager was more offended by this salty snack commercial than by War.
The Doritos Ad Wasn’t Funny [National Review]
{ 76 comments }
I had no idea that Dennis Prager was such a dick, or indeed who he was in the first place.
I cannot tread water in this sea of stupidity forever. I am getting tired, so very tired.
Let these blacks sit at the front of the bus and all hell breaks loose.
P.S. Only two links? YOU SLIPPIN’ JIM
So, all adults raise all children…which means it should take a village to beat a child?
Anybody who attended camps worked by Prager may have an opportunity for a class-action, much as alterboys of a certain age do.
Dennis Prager, victim of overly zealous potty training.
Doritos are not potato chips. They are made from ethanol. Thank you.
-Chuck Grassley
“I was physically dealt with by a number of teachers, and in every case I deserved it”
In fact, he probably could go for a little nipple torture right now, come to think of it!
OK to be fair and balanced, can we abort Tim Tebow now?
I do not believe that only parents may physically respond to a child.
I don’t like where statements like this lead. Especially considering this is from a conservative Republican.
moral violence (such as just wars, police work, and appropriate parental discipline) reduces violence.
Right up until your kid shoots you. Personally I thought all the damn Super Bowl commercials were unfunny and trying too hard to be hip. The only thing worse being the moral indignation of a australopithecene such as Mr. Prager. On the bright side, he now makes Dan Quayle’s attack on Murphy Brown look classy and intelligent.
Prager was born in 1948, so he came of age during the Vietnam War…yet no war record? Oh, he fell in love with war after he was no longer eligible to fight in one.
It’s really become impossible to parody wingnuts these days; first they support torture and unlimited surveillance, now they support child abuse. What’s Prager’s next column, why all those altar boys were asking for it?
The adult man should have face palmed the snotnosed kid, grabbed a handful of delicious Doritos snacks and then proceeded upstairs to disrobe and smack the mother’s ass. Repeatedly.
It takes a village to bitch-slap a child.
And also, SATIRE!!1! Also, too.
“Immoral violence breeds violence; moral violence (such as just wars, police work, and appropriate parental discipline) reduces violence.”
All wars are “just”…when it is the Conservatards doing the justifying, of course. Also, there’s no need to physically discipline yr. kids. I mean, really. If you can train a dog without hitting it, so too can you correct a child’s behavior without being a violent arsehole.
[re=514393]Prommie[/re]: Me, too. But what does sinking mean?
I barely can read or hear news anymore. It is just too depressing. Comics are still good, for now.
So if I’m understanding this correctly, the ADULT should have smacked the CHILD, not the other way around, yes?
Gotta love those republicans. All for smacking and whipping those kids once they’re old enough to feel it (at least 6 months). But when they’re a fetus, with no pain receptors or anything, well you just leave that defenseless fetus alone! Wait until it’s old enough to feel, that’s the key! Then you can smack it around and whip it (with your dick) until it grows up. At that point, if it’s a male, you can find a reason to give it the death penalty, and if it’s a girl, you can roofie her and choke her to death, because all girls are hookers and it’s their fault for not saying green balloons.
Explains why he needs to be masturbated with Dorito dust and beaten by skinny teenagers wearing shorts and carrying whistles.
War reduces violence? The Afghanis are going to be so happy to hear this!
[re=514412]qwerty42[/re]: FTW!
Also, my laptop is showing 3:59pm. Where’s my bottle opener?
How are the conservatards going to recharacterize the University of Albama-Huntsville faculty shooting as a teachable moment? Here are some suggestions:
(1) Harvard-educated uppity woman working in a man’s job — what’d you expect? She freaked out.
(2) If everybody else in the room had been packing heat, the carnage would’ve been much less.
Then there’s: if she hadn’t had a gun, it never would’ve happened. But wingnuts no likey that answer.
[re=514421]Redhead[/re]: they’ll find a way to register fetuses to vote soon, but only for white, moral, upstanding, Christian folk (which will include knocked up 14 year old Evangelicals who didn’t just say no to sex).
[re=514413]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “I thought all the damn Super Bowl commercials were unfunny”
Yes! Except for teh Googles.
Also, how long does it take this guy to write an article? I had already banged out two blog posts pissing and moaning about the FloTV commercials before the Superbowl ended. Does the National Review only publish on… what’s that stuff called again? Paper?
Oh, yeah, wars reduce violence all right.
Dennis Prager is an idiot.
Camp counsellor = Nazi concentration camp guard.
[re=514412]qwerty42[/re]: is “physically respond” a fancy term for “get wood”?
[re=514420]Doglessliberal[/re]: I don’t know what will happen if I stop, really. I am afraid. That it just doesn’t matter, I mean, that you never win, because the quantity of evil and stupid is endless, and then die, in pain and fear, frustrated and sad, and it doesn’t matter that you got it and they didn’t and that you tried to be good in a world filled with utter evil, and in the end you might as well have spent your time shooting heroin and raping cheerleaders after all.
Is there a some sort of anti-IQ test they use to hire people at NR? I don’t know why I always picture a scene in Idiocracy when I picture the water cooler at NR.
When I start consulting the National Review on what is and is not funny, you all have permission to come to my house and kill me in whatever swift way you see fit.
Where do guys like the folks from NRO hangout, live, etc? I have plenty of conservative friends who thought that commercial was hilarious (mainly because they like watching a black man get slapped around by ANYONE). Dennis Prager does not represent all Republicans and Conservatards.
[re=514431]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Are you saying that the clash of steroid mutants was so insufficiently entertaining that you were writing blog posts during our holiest national hour? Why do you hate US America?
I wonder what this Ass Clown would make of those Seimens Windmills. They are probably one of the last things our society should tolerate too.
[re=514412]qwerty42[/re]: “Listen lady, it wasn’t my fault your toddler was giving me those bedroom eyes!”
[re=514429]TGY[/re]:
And the one with Betty White.
[re=514427]Doglessliberal[/re]: They can register my fetus if they’ll all agree to treat all their pregnancies just like Pam Tebow – get no prenatal care (and refuse to see doctors or take prescribed medicines) until the last two weeks of the pregnancy.
[re=514435]Prommie[/re]: you and I are in about the same mood today. I need a vacation. Away from people, news, media of any kind.
Dear Editors, the reason no one is responding to your desk-picture item is that the link to it is errant – you probably already know this.
I love that the idea of a child (who probably can’t do any physical harm and is legally considered only partially culpable for his actions) hitting an adult is totally unacceptable, but that a fully grown adult with (ideally) self-control hitting a much less powerful child is totally cool. I suppose it DOES teach them about how the world works, or at least the way it should work as envisaged by conservatives, which is frankly a terrifying place.
Also, “moral violence reduces violence”. Laffs.
Iraq is a land of peace, puppydogs and rainbows right now, and rivers of milk and honey flow through the streets of Kabul, too, thanks to our judicious application of moral violence.
As Dennis schools us, “some cliches’ are true.”
Like the one about the uptight asshole who runs around sanctimoniously explaining to everyone what funny or not?
THIS one (Dennis Prager) I find meaningless…
Why is not surprising in the least that this douche was a camp counselor?
[re=514435]Prommie[/re]:
It matters to me that you did, and that you continue to do so.
If you think about it, there’s at least one other person in the world that it matters to as well.
Just sayin’.
[re=514436]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: I always picture a scene in Idiocracy when I picture the water cooler at NR.
You mean the toilet?
[re=514424]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hey, we call ourselves the world’s peacemakers for a reason — mostly because nobody else can say it with a straight face.
Sounds like ole Dennis is still suffering from all those beatings he got over the years… what a total dickwipe
[re=514416]JMP[/re]: Those frocks are very fetching, and they do wave those chalices around a lot.
[re=514426]V572625694[/re]: Why settle for one of those? Can’t it be both?
Possible (3) – I bet she listened to some of that there lesbian music, too, or something! Ban K.D. Lang, post-haste.
“I do not believe that only parents may physically respond to a child.” Why not go try this out at your local Walmart, Dennis? When a little kid bangs into you, respond physically, then see how the parents and the cops react.
So basically, if the guy had hit the kid back, this would have been a better ad for Doritos?
I got a salty snack for him alright.
I was physically dealt with by a number of teachers, and in every case I deserved it.
“In fact, I remember Father O’Leary, who routinely administered discipline to me in his private quarters on Wednesday afternoons. I had been so bad, you see. So very bad, and I deserved every bit of punishment he dared give me.”
Spoken like a true man who loves hitting children.
[re=514417]eclecticbrotha[/re]: Bingo.
[re=514426]V572625694[/re]: 4) It seems the woman is “obsessed” with Obama, and hence a crazy person unable to control herself. The tragedy is that misguided approval of Hopey McBlackie causes murder or madness. I know what they mean. No sooner had I voted for him than I slapped my nephew and stole his french fries.
Could someone please explain that this is an AD which I thought was adorable and not real life…and what is meant by “enough force”? I guess when my kid was in the second grade and his teacher grabbed his arm and left bruises, was that the “enough force” he is talking about?
I’m sure Prager would approve if it was an ad depicting a man saying “Keep your hands off my eighty-five year old mama and keep your hands off my Preparation H”.. Then it would be hilarious.
[re=514426]V572625694[/re]: If anything, she needed to have more access to firearms.
At this point we need to recruit children to walk up to Prager and slap him, just to see if he really has the balls to harm a child in public. The problem is, after the first 30 or 40 times, he’d probably catch on that he was being set up.
[Scene: Prager Household]
Mrs Prager: “How was your day honey”?
Mr Prager: “I finished writing a scathing article about the moral decline of ALL America”
Mrs Prager: “Well, that sounds Very Important!, what was the article about”?
Mr Prager: “A minute long Super Bowl Doritos add”
Mrs Prager: “IM FUCKING YOUR BROTHER”
He was aware that this was fictional, right?
Palin/Prager 2012!
Can’t wait for the moment Trig gets a little out of control when Prager is around!
Wait, isn’t Prager the guy who wrote that fathers should shower with their kids so that their kids could gaze upon their fathers’ mighty equipment?
See, Dennis, that wouldn’t be a good Super Bowl ad, because the chips would get all soggy…
[re=514421]Redhead[/re]: Once they’re old enough to feel it (6 months)
Six months? Luxury!
I’ve told the story here before of the 8 years I spent in the Belly of the Fundamentalist Beast. An age ago, as a bewildered 20-something Mom, trying to raise 2 kids, go to college full-time, and work, I melted down and was harvested by a Fundievangelical storefront church, who promised to Make Everything All Better and Be My True Family.
I threw myself into this life with everything I had at the time, ’cause … young people are really stupid.
Especially young people who are so exhausted that they’re snapping.
Yes, I saw warning signs. Baby-slapping was one of the first.
One day I was sitting in the service next to a woman holding a 3-month-old baby in an Infanseat on her lap. During the sermon the little girl started to fuss, and her mama said to her, “Stop that, or you’ll get a whipping!” I laughed, assuming the mama was joking. The woman (a church elder) rounded on me and snarled, “Don’t you laugh at Rose Sharon when she’s about to be punished!”
And then Rose Sharon (yep. real name) fussed again, and this woman proceeded to beat her with the Infanseat strap. I thought about getting the hell out of there that instant.
Wish I had. But then I wouldn’t have been one of the first people in this culture to see and hear Dominionists up close and personal. Brrr … BTW, at age 7, Rose Sharon was one of the quietest, stupidest, most fearful and robotic children I have ever known.
Wait, isn’t Prager the guy who wrote that fathers should shower with their kids so that their kids could gaze upon their fathers’ mighty equipment?
That was James Dobson, the founder of “Focus on the Family.” Here’s the precise quote:
“Meanwhile, the boy’s father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son’s maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.”
[re=514710]Dave J.[/re]: Oh. My. God. I missed that one. Thanks for sharing. I guess.
I see you got your game skeels down pack
Ebonics, anyone?
“Just war” These neoconmen better well be tithing to adolf’s memorial fund because they damn well owe him for every personal fapping session of the last 60 years.
What subtext and socio-political takeaway will Praygers deduce from this corn chip advert:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_m4uh0cvEU&feature=related
Whaddadouche!
And coming up next; A spirited defense of the traditions of childcare in the Irish Catholic Church and decrying the shameful liberal trends in the Papacy!
[re=514562]Dave J.[/re]: Do you mean every inch of punishment that was earned. And then sinning more by liking it, liking it a lot?
[re=514403]Delicious[/re]: I assumed that Doritos were a series of tubes.
[re=514619]Suds McKenzie[/re]: I award you a win, sir.
Yep, once the Pragmeister got going, you could just sense him being swept up in a veritable wave of nostalgia. Ah, the good old days of being bent over the barrel by the School Master; the robust thwack! of leather on buttocks; the scent of Crisco.
Then, adulthood. The ascent to Camp Master; discovering the truth of old saying about it being even better to give than to receive (and getting to wear those shiny leather hiking boots, also…)
[re=514710]Dave J.[/re]: Focus on the Family Cock, apparently.
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