• February 16, 2012

Never Forget.For weeks now, several hundred people who follow New York state politics have been very excited about a possible BOMBSHELL related to David Paterson, the wacky blind governor who used to do so much blow and bang all these gals at an uptown motel. Paterson only ended up as governor by mistake — Eliot Spitzer’s mistake of loving hookers more than life itself — and nobody really gives a damn about him. Even his racial ally Barack Obama was all, “I really would rather you not run for governor, Democrats kind of have enough trouble.” So the NYT was going to Finish the Job and run this incredible sexytime story about, uh, nobody knows, maybe Paterson doing even more blow, and more girlfriends? But it’s the New York Times, America’s most timid newspaper when it comes to anything beyond DESTROYING SOVEREIGN NATIONS, as long as Washington neo-cons are pulling the trigger, so the Paterson story is an Utter Fail.

So, what is this scandal, anyway? Uh, it seems there are some Questions about one of Paterson’s aides. The guy had some cop troubles when he was a kid, some ex-girlfriends say he’s an asshole, and yet DESPITE ALL THIS (or perhaps because of it?), Paterson has allowed this common thug from the ghetto to Rise Up and have a fairly important job. SHAME, SHAME.

Honestly, has the New York Times had a “scoop” since, what, that guy delivered the Pentagon Papers? From Watergate to John Edwards’ New Age Witch Pregnant Mistress Gate, the NYT has consistently missed or intentionally avoided big stories, when not printing deliberate murderous lies from the likes of Judith Miller. [NYT/The Awl]

{ 49 comments }

ManchuCandidate February 17, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I thought being an asshole was almost a prerequisite to enter politics.

One Yield Regular February 17, 2010 at 1:10 pm

What’s with the fancy italics? This post looks like the Declaration of Independence.

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 1:10 pm

What the hell? THIS was the scoop?

I know I just invoked this example in another thread, but it’s apropos here, too: this is pretty much the print media equivalent of Geraldo opening Capone’s vault, or those Discovery Channel “LIVE! Secrets of the Pyramids!” specials where at the end you get to see the inside of a wall through the eyes of a robot. Totally disappointing, unless the aide was doing hookers and blow while being simultaneously being teabagged by Gov. Paterson, on the public time.

Suds McKenzie February 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Jeebus, I thought he would be outed as Son of Sam or something. This sucks, … I’m going to check out that Paris Hilton thing.

Ken Layne February 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm

[re=514235]One Yield Regular[/re]: Ugh, sorry, our blog-posting system just went INSANE on me and put italics around every paragraph. FUCKING WORDPRESS.

Ruhe February 17, 2010 at 1:12 pm

Isn’t it amazing how the Times can suck so bad and yet still be a very effective cattle prod in the hands of demagogues like Palin and Limbaugh?

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 1:13 pm

[re=514235]One Yield Regular[/re]: Quick, put it on one of those “MISS ME YET?” billboards, before he can fix it!

Larry Fine February 17, 2010 at 1:14 pm

New York State isn’t Marion Berrys Washington DC, or Adam Clayton Powells Harlem 1970, so even if Whitey keeps up the negative attacks on the brother, there areen’t enough moolie votes for this guy to get re-elected.

Monsieur Grumpe February 17, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Has any one told Mr. Paterson that he’s not white?

qwerty42 February 17, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Jeeze Ken, you make it sound as if the NYT is as bad as the WaPo — at least they aren’t adding to their collection of torture apologists (well, actually “apologist” isn’t the right word — Thiessen seems quite pleased with himself). I don’t think they are onboard the “War with Iran” business the way the WaPo is either. And NYS politics? Cripes, next you’ll be telling us that Al Smith didn’t get along with FDR and that it went beck to statehouse politics.

Looy February 17, 2010 at 1:15 pm

This is a lot like that “McCain’s mistress” NYT story back in ’08.

jodyleek February 17, 2010 at 1:16 pm

So I shouldn’t expect a video of Mr. Paterson following a $20 being pulled by a string down Madison Avenue? Damn.

Seanyboy February 17, 2010 at 1:17 pm

When did Glenn Greenwald start writing for Wonkette? My worlds are colliding.

Extemporanus February 17, 2010 at 1:20 pm

[re=514239]Ken Layne[/re]: I thought you were taking your new True/Slant gig a little too literally.

Thank god it was just the paragraphs slipping on all the Siemens, and that Intern Riley knows his way around a mop.

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 1:20 pm

[re=514251]jodyleek[/re]: This would be pretty amazing actually. Considering Paterson’s blindness, we would finally have definitive proof that politicans can actually *smell money*

snideinplainsight February 17, 2010 at 1:20 pm

I would like a scoop of the neapolitan with sprinkles.

One Yield Regular February 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=514243]Mad Brahms[/re]: Damn! Too late.

S.Luggo February 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm

That was 30 seconds of my life that I’ll never get back again.

saggyboobedhag February 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm

I’d say they’re assuming this aide-dude will end up being another Andrew Young (criminal record, close to a high level politician).

So, the NYT wants to get in early and predict that because his “close personal” aide is Young-like, that Patterson himself will end up with a pregnant new age witch mistress who will eventually derail his campaign for president after having served as the vice presidential nominee.

NY Times needs to learn about timing from the National Enquirer.

norbizness February 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm

I too will never forget the time that dude named Elvin married Lisa Bonet on the Cosby Show.

Manos: Hands of Fate February 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Spitzer got busted for dumping $10,000 grand on high-priced hookers and he still polls higher than Patterson, so unless the NYT found out that the governor was responsible for the holocaust, I don’t think whatever hot scoop they are sitting on will matter much.

SayItWithWookies February 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

With all the excitement of the NYT’s latest scoop, I don’t think I can handle watching curling tonight — that’s just an adrenaline overload.

Extemporanus February 17, 2010 at 1:39 pm

[re=514258]Mad Brahms[/re]: Considering the average amount of cocaine residue present on a typical NYC $20 bill, I don’t think a video of a blind blow head following it down the street would be especially amazing.

Now, if said blind blow head were to give chase while simultaneously screwing one of his girlfriends as “Yakety Sax” blared from his ghetto blaster, then that would be pretty amazing, and Seussically so.

american mutt February 17, 2010 at 1:52 pm

I don’t get it. What did Paterson do?

V572625694 February 17, 2010 at 1:57 pm

No scoops in the Times? What about when they ripped the lid off the SCANDAL that is the Augusta National Golf Club, which won’t admit any vagino-Americans, ever? HENGHHNGH? That is big, big news, changed everything, just stone Clark-Kent hold-page-one News You Can Use!

sezme February 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

[re=514247]Looy[/re]: Vicki Iseman; never forget!

S.Luggo February 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

In other news:
http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D9DU0ORG0.htm

Va. legislation will allow concealed guns to be taken into bars and emergency shelters (even those where there are no Negroes or Mexicans present.)

gurukalehuru February 17, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Who was the aide, sounds like Bernard Kerik.

Gorillionaire February 17, 2010 at 2:02 pm

And Karl Rove is still a free man.

BlueStateLiberal February 17, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Well this is just shocking; I wait with bated breath for David Brooks to waste 200 words and 10 minutes of my life to give his take on this scandalous news.

Mad Brahms February 17, 2010 at 2:07 pm

[re=514297]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: What about Gail Collins’ requisite “I disagree with you, Brooks, except on everything of any real substance” counterpoint?

doxastic February 17, 2010 at 2:07 pm

I was going to give the NYT credit for breaking the warrantless wiretapping story, but then I remembered the countless editorials they then ran defending that shit. No credit deserved.

TGY February 17, 2010 at 2:11 pm

You know your scoop is a snoozer when the National Inquirer won’t touch it with even screaming 10-foot Helvetica bold-italics.

FlownOver February 17, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=514285]american mutt[/re]: That’s the story – NYT has invented the zen scoop.

JMP February 17, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Now, the New York Times did reveal the scandal of Bush’s warrantless wiretapping program. Of course, that was after sitting on it for a year, waiting until long after the shit was reelected.

Snarkalicious February 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm

[re=514235]One Yield Regular[/re]: Maybe we can get Michelle Malkin to re-tweet it.

Snarkalicious February 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm

YOUR EXPANDED PHOTO DOSE NOT DEFET MY SCIENCE> THERE IS A HANDJOB GOING ON WITHIN THE SAHDOWS BELOW THE BOOKAY!!!!

GreyPanter February 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Fortunately for David W. Johnson, The Times reporters are afraid to go into his neighborhood to look for “news”. From the Times article: “The examination of his background, based on interviews and records…”. That is hard-hitting reporting. Next they will be googling variants on his name, like “Dave Johnson”.

Army of None February 17, 2010 at 3:01 pm

The article seems to boil down to the fact that the Governor has a 6’4″ aide who has a thug background but who makes the legally blind Governor feel more secure. Kind of tepid!

JMP February 17, 2010 at 3:02 pm

[re=514304]FlownOver[/re]: A Zen scoop: If a politician hires a hooker and never gets caught, did they ever really sleep together?

Darkness February 17, 2010 at 3:09 pm

[re=514251]jodyleek[/re]: If he can smell money that well, I’d be very impressed.

BlueStateLiberal February 17, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Some enterprising NY Times columnist needs to write a column about race/ex-girlfriends/cops and how these are metaphors for class divisions/middle-class values/etc.

S.Luggo February 17, 2010 at 3:33 pm

[re=514343]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: From your lips to David Brooks’ ear.

lawrenceofthedesert February 17, 2010 at 3:49 pm

The good news is that the ad agency will not pull the delightful Volkswagen ad with Gov. Paterson saying, “Red one!” and Sammy Davis, Jr., responding, “How do you do that?”

Long Form Def Certificate February 17, 2010 at 3:53 pm

So, when does it come out that Lee Harvey Oswald — I mean, the ACORN pimp, James something-or-other — tipped this story to the Time?

Delicious February 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Didn’t the Times break the Spitzer story?

hunter.blatherer February 18, 2010 at 12:16 am

[re=514292]S.Luggo[/re]: The scariest line in that article is the last one. How can you not fear for your life in a Red Lobster? Also, I wonder if these Virginia patriots will have to register in South Carolina as subversives, from emergency shelters.

Was there something about David Paterson?

S.Luggo February 18, 2010 at 3:38 am

[re=514833]hunter.blatherer[/re]: There might be an occasion of an over-seasoned, terrorist dish of shrimp tempura at a Red Lobster in Fairfax County. So, thank Jehosephat and the Virginia legislature and Governor (“every sperm is sacred”) Bob, that you’ll be prepared to whip out (so to speak) your concealed, multi-clip AK to keep America more safeter.

thefrontpage February 18, 2010 at 12:15 pm

A bunch of us–who work in journalism, in law, and in government and politics right here in Potomac City–read the entire Times piece of garbage, and have only this to say:

The Times owes a huge apology to journalism, to government and politics, to the people of New York, to the American public, to newspapers everywhere, to its readers, subscribers and advertisers, to David Paterson and his family, to the entire Paterson administration, to the guy featured in the story, to the guy featured in the story’s family and friends, to the 99 percent of the American public who used and dealt drugs when they were young, to the probably 70 percent of the American public who still uses and deals drugs, to all drug users, to all drug dealers, and to everyone and anyone who bothered to waste their time reading the Times piece.

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