- C’mon, everybody knows Barack Obama bought 14 million guns since taking office: Whitey is everywhere! And it gives Obama the heebie jeebies. [True/Slant: F. Paul Wilson]
- Michelle Malkin has clearly mistaken the preamble to the U.S. Constitution for one of John Yoo’s S&M legal briefs. A common mix-up; they read pretty much the same. [Michelle Malkin]
- Trailblazin’ techie Robert Gibbs finally retired his MySpace and signed up for The Twitter. Just look at him go! He is an inspiration to press secretaries around the world. [The Caucus]
- Steve Doocy leaked top secret TSA airport security protocol on national teevee. GOOD GOIN’ DOOCY, TERRORISTS HAVE TIVO TOO! [Think Progress]
- Mitt Romney gets his first taste of “coach” and oh boy, was it sour! [TPM]
Previous post: Washington Post Is Now Chuck Lane’s Show
Next post: Fat Tuesday: Hedonism At Its Best
{ 44 comments }
From: Jim Newell Tue, Feb 16, 2010 at 6:11 PM
To: Ken Layne
Subject: You pay money to a person this stupid
I am sorry I did about zero posts in the last two hours. What happened, see, was I locked myself out on the ice-covered second floor back porch with no jacket or phone or keys (obviously) for an hour and had to shout at a neighbor asking her to call my roommate at work and help me. Seriously.
I have to do something now but will type a couple more posts when I get back, unless I end up stranded on the top of Mount Everest in a bikini somehow.
Doocy’s just another word for Retard.
Riley, Valentines day is over. I’m not giving Michele my page view. Maybe she just isn’t that into you.
Doocy seemed to have the memory of a goldfish.
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: jesus, man, glad to see you lived to tell the tale. wrap yourself in a blanket, pour yourself a brandy, and welcome back to civilized warmth. great to be in america, verdad?
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: Today we are all locked out on our own porch. Hopefully we are out there getting high.
Jim: Be thankful a neighbor didn’t call the cops on you. Otherwise, you might have wound up sharing a beer with the President.
[re=513981]Crank Tango[/re]: Whenever we lock ourselves on the back porch, the pipe, the weed or the lighter invariably ends up locked inside. It’s a rule.
I was onl I am still traumatized.
Oh great, thanks for making me visit Michele Malkin. And for nothing. I fart in your general direction.
[re=513986]SayItWithWookies[/re]: hmm well my assumption was the getting high was the reason for our going out on said porch in the first place!
True story: once I was lounging about in my undershorts when somehow my puppy snuck out into the hallway of our apartment building, and I went out after it, not realizing that the door would slam shut and lock me out. Which it did. So I was stuck in the hallway in my underwears in the middle of buffalo winter, and I had to go down into the basement and search for tools to macgyver my way back into the apartment, which i did.
And then of course I got more high in celebration.
Next time Mitt can ride in a cargo container strapped to the roof. There’s really nothing wrong with it. Mitt knows this.
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: Do a Dicky Cohen post! He said something almost not stupid today
“Alas, for both the right and the left, Palin is not a leader. She neither founded nor leads a movement and, as far as anyone can tell, has no ideas of her own. She’s a validator, satisfying her audience’s narcissistic urge to be told they are correct in their thinking. They look at her and see themselves. Ah, love.”
“The lady from Alaska is a phony. She has sold out for money, quitting office so that she could cash in. ”
Cohen wrote that? Then is Doomsday near.
Those Fox geniuses must’ve had horrible childhoods growing up with those horrible names.
“The site is frequented by liberals, conservatives, libertarians, anarchists, and a mixed group lovingly known as ‘the gunnies.’”
A model for Wonkette. A MODEL, I tell you.
There are many TV hosts, so-called journalists, and pundits who do more serious damage to our nation than Steve Doocy does. But no other who is so fabulously lame-brained and whose very NAME conjures up the word “douche.”
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: But did you ever lock keys (and everything else) in a car that is not your own, with a friend’s shrieking lap dog hurling itself against the windows, WITH THE MOTOR RUNNING? And an almost empty gas tank? In a Pittsburgh warehouse neighborhood? In a driving rainstorm?
Hope you’ve stopped shivering!
Ahmed Rehab seemed surprised at how easy he had it with Doocy–he might have been expecting someone who could make a rational sounding arguement in favor of racial/ethnic profiling and beating to a pulp. Instead he gets “my wife doesn’t look like an Ay-rab and they are all over her”.
Ah, the constitution just the way conservatives like it! Big enough to be cited incessantly, yet blurry, abbreviated, and far away enough to be impossible to read.
Steven Doocy’s lips are loose-y
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: Some people will do and say anything to get out of work.
I would tell Ken to dock your pay, but then he doesn’t pay you anything, does he?
[re=514007]Neilist[/re]: A model for Wonkette? But we already have Liz Phair!
[re=514025]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I was going to go with “douche-y”, but fair enough.
Malkin makes my eye twitch. Please don’t post anymore references to her dumbass site/articles. I just end up trying to subscribe to her site so I can verbally bitch slap her, forgetting of course that the “authors” closed subscriptions years ago so people would stop doing what I want to do.
Jim’s new book.
A Nation of Retards…
‘how I locked myself out in my underpants.’
[re=513984]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I don’t know how presidential shot-gunning PBR would be, though. But I’m sure Obie could roll with it, since he lived on the South-side of the Big Shoulders, which was gentrifying — i.e., being overrun by pompous twenty-something honkies who drink Pabst as its “working-man’s beer”* cred alleviates some of their suburban guilt as sons & daughters of the people who took good, union jobs from my hometown — in the period the future pres & Michelle were rearing their brood.
*If you know anything about how Pabst left the Miltown in the lurch, you would know Pabst should never be called a working-man’s beer. & fuck the sceneasta at my hometown’s Comet Bar & Cafe for calling it that. Sorry, you Brookfield native trusties, but you got that wrong, too.
Jim Newell, Mitt Romney, and Michelle Malkin were locked outside on Jim’s porch watching Robert Gibbs play with Jim’s twitter. And they were all high. I need to spend Spring Break in our nation’s hedonistic capital I see. To hell with those nude beaches in Barbados!
[re=513997]SmutBoffin[/re]: We live in a country where a black who wants to help poor people buy insurance is regularly referred to as a Nazi, so I guess anything is possible.
[re=513974]Jim Newell[/re]: I locked myself out on a hotel balcony on the fifth floor once, wearing only a bathrobe and pjs in November. None of the people at the bus stop below would even look up as I screamed for one of them to call/ tell the front desk (not that it would have done much good, as the security chain was up). I climbed over every balcony on the floor looking for an occupied room/ fire escape. No dice. I eventually broke back in, breaking a nail in the process. Grow your nails out. Even if you don’t play guitar, you may need them one day.
[re=514010]Jukesgrrl[/re]: wow jukesgrrl, dont leave us in suspense. Incredible!
But did you ever have a boat go airborn and, on landing, dump your car keys into Lake Powell?
Terrorists have tivo too? Who knew?
When Doocey says “critics argue…”, he means of course morans at Fox.
[re=514055]sati demise[/re]: There were some kids moving lumber in one of the warehouses. I asked them to call AAA for me but they said, “Naw, we can get in for ya.” And they proceeded to break into my friend’s car without damaging the locks or leaving a scratch on it. When I got to my purse inside I luckily had enough cash to give them some dough. Thank God for the juvenile delinquents of Pittsburgh. The dog also survived.
But I guess you didn’t get your keys back! What a drag. That never happened to Sonny Crockett.
Ssshhh, I’m learning about how Semen Solutions is building windmills in a field, possibly to boost semen production!
Ack! Wonkett bukkakes all over us again.
[re=514068]mattbolt[/re]: [re=514070]El Pinche[/re]: Drill baby, drill!
An open letter to Michelle Malkin.
Dear Michelle,
If the founding fathers were alive today, they’d be too busy thinking racist thoughts about you to care about anything you had to say. Yes, they were brilliant political theorists, but giving them the final word on American government would be like shutting down every science lab when Isaac Newton died.
This is the 21st century. We know things they didn’t. Not all of their rules have kept up with the times, and I doubt that they, unlike you, were stupid enough to think all of their ideas would still be applicable 221 years later. That’s probably why they also created the 9th Amendment and gave the courts (whether you believe it or not) the power of judicial review (no, really…the founding fathers were still around in 1803). Did you know the first law that was declared unconstitutional was one they themselves passed? It is almost is if they realized they weren’t infallible!
Anyways, thank you for your campaign to destroy the stereotype that all Asians are smart. You bring racial equality one step forward for every three steps you try to take it back. I’m also glad no one who looks like you has tried to do anything crazy on a plane yet, so you can witness your beloved racial profiling personally. I know how much you claim to love the Japanese internment during World War II, but I’m guessing some first hand experience might change your mind.
Love,
B.M.W.
I don’t care about Steve Doocy’s pussy lips.
[re=514072]BarackMyWorld[/re]: After her stupid remarks about John Kerry, I always kind of thought Malkin’s love of the Japanese internments in WWII was due to her people’s inability to resist Japanese occupation. Well, that and how fast they sucked up to the Japanese.
Not that I am pointing out any obvious self-loathing tendencies on her part, like her immigration comments.
[re=514072]BarackMyWorld[/re]: “PS: Love the NUTTY commenters on your blog, tho, so keep that up!” Right?
[re=514068]mattbolt[/re]: I actually go out of my way to look for their stuff because they advertised here.
Representative Steve King, Iowa’s 2nd most embarrassing politician, is bragging on Twitter about how he killed a coon. I’m sure Neilist will be all over this one.
[re=513976]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ooooh, you said a bad word! Palin’s gonna get you!
It’s good to see that Steve Doocy is living up to my mispronunciation of his last name.
[re=514103]disgustedcitizen[/re]:
Sorry. I won’t say Doocy again.
Comments on this entry are closed.