In terms of immediate danger, the most relieving aspect of Barack Obama’s inauguration for Washingtonians, it seemed, was an end to eight terrifying years of hearing that ominous, Satanic whisper in the distance while walking on the sidewalk; hearing it grow louder, more cackling, piercing, as seconds pass by and toxic orange fire clouds begin to accumulate and travel in unison with the Death Laughter, all from the same direction — originating in the northwest, emitting from a row of chimneys atop a secluded dungeon at postal address One Observatory Circle. Fire and toxins and hellish whirrs, rushing at otherworldly velocities; then, the (thuds) and exhausting screams of not-so-distant clipped commuters in bike lanes, joining the apocalpytic cacophony of fire and torture and lava and genocide; a swirling Wagnerian hell-on-earth massacre of souls, the white noise of human souls being tangibly destroyed, louder and faster and deadlier and bloodier until VVVVRRROOOSSHHH arrives the envoy of armored SUV limousines, dozens of them, fire-emitting metal spikes guarding their fronts as they launch 2,000-MPH Incendiary Total War on the objects of Massachusetts Avenue, 9-foot-tall fully-armed Halliburton orcs spraying aerial swarms of leaden death at nearby elementary schools from each vehicle’s side windows, invincible red-eyed death robots with nuclear warhead gun-arms emerging from each sunroof, nuking nearby black women and children, and you realize: “Oh right, Dick Cheney’s giving a speech at the Heritage Foundation this morning.”
But with Joe Biden, it’s just been more of the same.
Vehicles in the vice president’s motorcade have recently been “involved” in two crashes, although in each case, they tell us, Biden was not in the damaged (damaging?) vehicle, and it was the other person’s fault anyway. Whatever you say, Suits.
Now it’s escalated:
ANCOUVER, British Columbia — Figure skating great Peggy Fleming and former bobsled champion Vonetta Flowers sustained minor injuries Sunday in a traffic accident while riding with hockey Olympian Mike Eruzione in Vice President Joe Biden’s motorcade at the Vancouver Olympics.
Biden was in a different vehicle and wasn’t involved in the accident.
Fleming said she was in a van with Flowers, Eruzione, as well as White House and Secret Service personnel. The motorcade was heading to a hockey game when the van was rear-ended.
Poor Dick Cheney. All he can muster nowadays is bumping into Biden’s motorcade vans with his used Geo Metro.
Wouldn’t you feel the same resentment? Are you willing to empathize?
Peggy Fleming Hurt In Joe Biden Motorcade Crash [AP]
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Who the hell are running these motorcades ?? These guys?
Last time I said talking about car wrecked involving Biden weren’t funny bc he lost his first wife in one I got a “GODDAMNIT” from Jim, five blocks from my house.
[re=513178]Fox News Light[/re]: GODDAMNIT AGAIN!
[re=513176]El Pinche[/re]: Bearbloke? Any say in this, these are your people.
America is FUCKED
Joe likes to keep his staff drunk so they’ll laugh at his jokes. So there’s a little collateral damage, or whatever. Let Joe be Joe, ferfucksakes.
that’s some awesome fantasy gaming prose, Jim!
[re=513178]Fox News Light[/re]: was the “goddamnit” five blocks from your house, or the wreck????
Thats an armor plated Geo Metro with bullet proof glass.
just can’t get good help these days
The French Judge still gave the Motorcade an 8.7
Fuckin Frog’s
Were they driving on the luge track?
[re=513190]imissopus[/re]: TOO SOON.
However, Jim is forgiven because Joe’s first wife’s death was 20+ years ago and he has now has a hot new wife who is a lady doctor. So it’s no longer TOO SOON.
[re=513190]imissopus[/re]: Have you ever seen this “luge” thing? Jesus! What was he expecting, to *live*?
“Biden was in a different vehicle and wasn’t involved in the accident.”
Why must the VP use killer decoy motorcades? Where was he? Canadian Amtrak?
The Biden death machine must be stopped!
Oops, I thought I’d added (hangs head in shame) to that post.
[re=513193]Jim Newell[/re]: Not sure which looks crazier, luge or skeleton, which is the same thing only headfirst and on a sled that I believe is actually closer to the ice.
Joe’s having an affair with Peggy Fleming?!?
As a last act of malfeasance, Robert Novak bound his sulfury soul to Biden’s motorcade, dooming it to mow down innocent naifs and homeless winos until Bobby Jindal grabs the holy water and goes all “vade retro satana” on his ghostly ass.
(Too soon?)
Sorry, I couldn’t get through the post -it read like a novel by Ralphie Parker, ghostwritten by the 1988 DNC Keynote Speaker Bill Clinton.
Fucking Secret Service can’t even handle driving in the rain?!?
“Wagnerian,” a Geo Metro reference, and capitalizing Death Laughter. Bravo. I would have just made a rear-ended joke and moved on. I guess that’s why our editor gets paid so generously.
Ancouver? Where’s that?
The Joe Biden Motorcade of Death was overdue. Can one even imagine an olympics without violence?
The best he could do for leaving his minions behind to infiltrate the new administration was crappy van drivers? And this from the guy who destroyed the World Trade Center and got away with it?
I have to do a ” kilmeade” and relate to a event or action that is fairly unique; I have worked through all three snowpacolypses and
ended up spending my substantial paycheck in driving penalties.
My driving sux . Can I haz ckret cervis job?
Jim, my friend – now that! *That* is fucking post!
Typical Obama administration. They simply do not have the will to kill like Cheney had.
And, in fairness to Obama, I don’t think he has shot anyone or that they have found a blood drained faun on the Observatory grounds in well over a year.
Jim, since you are well into your amazingly graphic and fast paced screenplay (VVVVRRROOOSSHHH), when can we expect the movie?
It’s either this or he shoots his friend in the face. Quick: you pick!
[re=513178]Fox News Light[/re]: Isn’t the meme “4 blocks”?
Wasn’t this one of Stalin’s go to methods?
I believe the problem was the Secret Service thought they had to drive on the left side of the road because they were in British Columbia. Honest mistake.
[re=513182]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Newell was an English major in his Higher Education days.
Hey, I retired(please be jealous-I don’t mind) recently and no longer have to commute down Florida Avenue to where it meets Connecticut and the VP motorcade holds up the commute I hated anyway. I could always feel the evil emanating from the Cheney.
It’s those goddamned flashing green lights in Vancouver that make NO FUCKING SENSE. Add to that: Biden’s security detail consists of Cheech and Chong.
[re=513185]sati demise[/re]: And man-sized safe.
[re=513203]tiny mexican[/re]: (Too soon?)
Not soon enough.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,586061,00.html
Monday, February 15, 2010
Top Taliban Military Chief Captured STILL ALIVE AND QUIVERING in U.S.-Pakistani Raid
******
Why do Barry & Joe hate truly our national security??
[re=513238]S.Luggo[/re]: CNN,Fox, and MSNBC are fluffing up the pillows for DickLiz Cheney as we speak. We need to figure out what Bush did right, and what Obama could have done better.
Eh, we’ll be lucky this breaks the news. The MSM is too busy with Snooki and Bayh.
[re=513238]S.Luggo[/re]: Keep fucking that chicken, major garrett. Nice way to plagiarize the NYT and also manage to spell it as “Usama,” which doesn’t look enough like Obama. Still good news tho. For mccain, of course.
Todd’s careening snowmobile? Nebber minds. Too obvious.
****
Vancouverstanis, North America’s winter sports Al-queida.
Is nowhere safe? Answer me, Obama.
That was a rhetorical question, of course, in terms of U. of Alabama Huntsville. It’s like, you know, the South.
Bad hair day?
http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID38158/images/amd_mugshot_bishop.jpg
[re=513240]Crank Tango[/re]:
Tomorrow on Fox’n'Pox, Oxford-semester-abroad attendee Gretchen Carlson asks, “Why didn’t the other Negro mulatto, that Eric Holder, let the the captured Taliban chief Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar be snowboarded first? America wants to know!”
[re=513221]Radiotherapy[/re]: Remove the people, remove the problem(s).
[re=513180]El Pinche[/re]: Now now, let’s not drag my parents into this..
Motorcade::Joe Biden as shotgun::Dick Cheney
I have a feeling these are the same drivers that Cheney had and they simply kept the body count “classified for national security reasons”.
The secret service driver was not paying due attention as he was spanking fast & furious whilst his gorged eyeballs were glued to the rear view mirror peeking up sexy Pegs hot skate outfit. Spangles flew from the outfit at point of impact & mixed with the drivers cream of wheat & it looked all sparkly & stuff.
[re=513205]the problem child[/re]: It’s the automobile version of the F-22.
Is it me, or was this post written by the illegitimate love child of David Foster Wallace and Bret Easton Ellis?
Call him Turgidnev for that prose, and tell Joe to quit using those Toyotas, we don’t care what kind of deal he got.
Ahh, memories. I’d be walking home from the gym up Connecticut Ave (when the SS would take Alternate Route B to get Cheney home) and that damn motorcade would come rolling past, sirens wailing, “porcupines” of guns pointing out all the SUV windows (even the back) as Lord Vader was ferried home to Lynn. And those guys in the sunglasses (even at 6 at night) would be giving me the evil eye and I was in a pair of gym pants, sweatshirt, etc. I mean, the motorcade is a TARGET. Driving Dick home in an Audi A6 with no sirens would be safer. As for Biden’s motorcade, are we sure he wasn’t at the wheel (or talking/distracting the driver).
[re=513471]Mrs B[/re]: Jim? Yes.
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