Whoa, a long-ish speech with the wife and two muppets? He didn’t even lose an election earlier today, and he’s not resigning immediately, so… why he must just be very self-absorbed! Here is why he is not running: Congress is broken and our nation is on the brink of failure, so like a brave statesman, it is his duty to… run away from the problem as fast as possible and make buttloads of $$$ lobbying for one special interest or another! No, “too much.” Let’s go with this: He can be more effective at cutting the federal budget deficit through the private sector. That sounds rhythmically correct, no? [YouTube]
Evan Bayh Is Just Too Good For Congress
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what is this, freakin’ Evan Bayh day here at Wonkette???
Certainly the man is a joke, but still…
Pompous asslick.
Ha,ha Indiana- oh, sorry, I guess it is an actual state.
He’s realized that in America today, quitting public office leads directly to fame, fortune, and possibly the presidency! Or even better, a permanent job at Fox News!
What an über-doüche. What a sorry-ass list of “accomplishments.” What a smarmy tone of voice. What an ugly sweater he made his kid wear. LOSER.
Also, QUITTER.
And his son is a turtle-face!
Spawn on the right looks like a young Tucker Carlson, … plus last time I saw that sweater was at Band Camp.
They have a ways to go as a family to reach full Santorum however, … Also.
To think, he quit on Presidents’ Day, thus dishonoring the memory of so many of our founding fathers, just like the assholes at certain DC-area schools who were going to make poor, suffering college students attend class.
Traitors to the nation, all of them!
He’s raising a Blago. Look at that hair.
You know there’s an edwards like scandal here somewhere.
The question is, how much did he take from the Republicans to step down?
Don’t spend it all in one place, quitter! Er, Senator.
Why would ANYONE cheer for this ass?
He’s joining Palin to a higher calling (punditry (most likely on CNN, the conservative dem news network, not MSNBC which is the Dennis Kucinich of the news.) )
WTF is wrong with this country?! Why is this country so horribly fucked up? ARRGHHH.
[re=512994]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Holy hell, that thing has “Old Navy bargain bin” written all over it. Far be it from me to be a clothes snob, as I like savings as much as the next guy, but damn, can’t Bayh afford to buy his kids some decent threads with all that hawt lobbyist money?
Huffingpost just increased its fonts to 300 pt with the reddest reds of all red fonts.
How much, Senator? It would be good to have a figure in mind, just for budgeting and whatnot. How much?
I had to stop after 0:50 or so because I felt so awkward for the kid on the left whose mom KEPT RUBBING HIS SHOULDER AND BACK. At least the kids weren’t bawling like babies in their daddy’s lap, like that other kid from whatever other politician that was who resigned last week for whatever other reason.
This is how he makes his kids spend a school holiday?
[re=512997]snideinplainsight[/re]: Same questions here. Also, so he quit…that’s his right. However, why wait until the last minute? Now the election for his seat will be fought over by 1 repug and a handful of dems who would have settled this in the primary. I smell reacharound.
“I don’t love Congress.”
“Fuck you. Take your Shania Twain CD’s and get out. I’m changing the locks. Oh, and I faked it – EVERY TIME.” -Sincerely, Congress
That’s his wife? I thought it was his mother.
That explains a lot.
Not sure what, but there’s plenty of it.
bomb all the politicians now. and china. also.
evan’s drag name is sarah. and the muppet in the interesting sweater is wearing an unmistakable “my dad is such a fuck-up, can you fucking believe this” expression. also.
I guess without a Bush butt to kiss, Washington just isn’t fun anymore.
Evan, I don’t think this is the way to line up the “Bayh seat” for your sons there. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?
Does a western branch of the AT run to Indy, IN?
[re=513004]Mad Brahms[/re]: Now, how can Bayh afford nice clothes for his kids when Senators only make $175,000 a year? No wonder he needs to leave for more lucrative work.
Evan “Sarah Palin” Bayh
Quitter.
Dont let the door hit you in the ass, fuckin’ Neo-Liberal corporate shill.
[re=512985]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Bayhwatch. Oh, and Bayhlord.
What, no kids-on-verge-of-tears like teh Santorum? Perhaps they’re unhappy he’s going to spend more time with them.
Oh Fuck, check out the frog-mouth air-kiss at 0:47.
The kid on the left, I know that look, he’s ready to pop off with something clever and REALLY inappropriate, or appropriate depending on your POV. The shoulder rubbing thing frog-mouth mom is doing is a clear reminder ‘I’m right here next to your throat you little prick, keep your mouth shut, this time.’ Note they stuffed his mouth with dry cake donut or something right before the camera rolls.
That kid will by reading Wonkette by next year, I know that look like a father.
[re=513005]El Pinche[/re]: Yes, but can they crash your computer in less time than they currently do? That would be very useful information. Dancing tacos and twenty fucktillion others ads, also.
Noone, noone, deserves three posts in one day, noone should be monopolizing teh wonkette, unless there is buttseks.
The one on the right is totally going a babygay. I mean, THAT HAIR!?!!!11?
Here is the man who will introduce “pedophagy” to the national lexicon.
[re=513026]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Great, now how will I learn about the latest bullshit fake cures, and how actual medicine will make my kids retards?
[re=512985]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I think this wall-to-wall coverage from Wonkette is just what Hoosier-Loser was gunning for. That and the 300 pt red fonts on HuffPoo.
[re=513005]El Pinche[/re]: Told ya! They’re like clockwork, that bunch. Next up: a “funny” blog from Andy Borowitz with over fifty Bye/Bayh jokes. Mark my words.
Can I say that the weeping Mitch McConnell video was more captivating than this Evan Blah guy. I’d seriously rather watch grass grow than anything he’s doing. It doesn’t help matters that he’s a douche-nozzle for the NH lady who wriggles in excrement.
Has anyone else ever noticed how much Evan Bayh looks like the late Charles Rocket (also a quitter)?
[re=513026]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Actually, on that note, I would like to meet the guy in charge of placing the animated .gifs in those “Save 10% on Your Insurance!!!” ads, because he (or she…) is privy to a bodacious stash of something good.
Or, for that matter, the focus group who approved the imagery: “Oh yes! We absolutely LOVED the dancing tacos and the fat chick doing the little tap dance! They really connected with us.”
[re=513005]El Pinche[/re]: yes, when the HP home page took 35 minutes to load instead of the normal 15 to 20 I knew some shit had gone down somewhere.
I hear he wants to spend more time shopping for his kids. It’s not abuse when you let the bullies do the beating for you!
[re=513009]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I just want to know round numbers. 2 mill? 4 mill? Because I hear it’s a f**king valuable thing. How much, “Senator”?
[re=513009]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: One of his possible Republican replacements is former Indiana Sen. Dan “Bill Clinton Is Bombing Al Qaeda Because of This Lewinsky Thing” Coats.
[re=513009]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Rusty trombone, baby. You hate it and I hate it, but there it is.
Song of the day, of course…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s
And Mike Pence , again, is not going to take on Bayh’s senate seat? What’s wrong with Indiana all of a sudden? Did Barry beat you senseless at the republican-slap-a-thon the other day? Mike is a pussy.
[re=513026]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And it never fails. I click on an alleged naked snooki video, and my machine blue screens. And all their porn digusts me. The revolting pictorials of Christina Hendricks’ roundish luscious soft skinned breasts make me sick.
& to think, Evan could have announced his resignation from the vice-presidency today, had Obama decided he needed to shore up the PUMA/Mavericky wing of the Democratic Party last year. That would have been worth at least ten times as much on the punditry circuit.
Those kids look very homescholed.
it doesn’t matter you know. the media and republicans have informed me that the dems will be slaughtered in november and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.
also, this is how it should be and i look forward to all the advantages another republican congress will provide. certainly, we will FINALLY get health care done.
[re=513040]BarackMyWorld[/re]: “No blood for Monica! No blood for Monica!
Then the same douches turned around and said 9/11 was Bill’s fault because he didn’t go after Al Quaeda.
[re=513021]TGY[/re]: Actually, it’s pronounced as in Bayh-bayh or bayhsexual.
Bayh might be a douche nozzle but he’s our doche nozzle. Now we’re going to have to sit through a week or two of cable news types chattering about how this is bad news for Dems and they’ll react by chickening out some more and HCR will eventually consist of subsidies to buy band aids. Then Coates will be elected and he’ll spend his term recreating in his back yard how Obama’s birth certificate was forged or some other Tea Bagger type will be elected whose everything fifth and sixth word will be “tax” and “cuts.”
[re=513071]ladymacbeth[/re]: The media, and it appears every right-wing troll on the internet. Which reminds me; why hasn’t neilist been banned yet?
[re=513088]gurukalehuru[/re]: This is true. As it the fact that ‘Boehner’ is pronounced as ‘BAY-nus’
Seriously, when I was that age, my parents could have won the Indy 500, hit the lottery, or been named Queens of the Stonewall Riots and I still wouldn’t have been caught dead at a press conference with them (let alone dressed like that!). Don’t these kids have bedrooms to hide in?
[re=512993]snideinplainsight[/re]: You mean turtle head? (q.v. “wriggling” post infra).
[re=513025]scooterKPFT[/re]: The kid may already be a Wonketteer. SOMEONE tipped our Wonkette first thing.
Many people actually like Evan Bayh–he’s really one of our better U.S. Senators–but why does any politician need to drag their kids and wife up on a podium for a retirement announcement? Really–those kids would rather be sitting in Advanced Biology or 16th Century French Poetry rather than standing up on some stupid podium for some dumb political announcement in front of a bunch of dumb media.
To all politicians, from a professional political, social, family and public relations standpoint: Do NOT bring kids up on a podium for your retirement announcement–or any political announcement. On any level. It’s just ridiculous grandstanding, and it’s awkward and weird. Kids don’t care, they don’t want to be there–and they don’t have to be there. And it just looks stupid.
Feel free to send that graph to any politician in this country.
Politicians have just lost all sense of normalcy and common sense these days.
Must be hard for those kids to be old enough to find out their father is a hypocrite and a PUSSY.
Today we are all wearing Arrgghhyle sweaters.
You people are so stupid.
Senator Bayh is fleeing Rome to join Caesar’s Legions for their march on the Capitol!!!!
No, wait. That’s a different era. I think.
Never mind.
Oh God. Oh no! Look at Bayh’s kid–the brown-haired one–he has classic politician’s hair, the “Blagojevich”!!!1ohnoes!!11!
We are NEVER going to be rid of the Bayhs. Fuck you Indiana.
Wait… maybe the douchenozzle gene skipped a generation like the “non-ahole-politician” gene from Birch did.
[re=513010]ProfessorJukes[/re]: omg, that’s funny! “I faked it, EVERY TIME! Sincerely, Congress.”
[re=513025]scooterKPFT[/re]: Thank Zeus. When I first saw the video, I felt so sorry for the kid, and thought Evan’s wife/mom was trying to keep him from crying. Then after reading your comment I watched the beginning again, and you’re right; I’ll bet your kids can’t get away with shit. Sucks for them.
[re=513128]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Exactly. It’s cruel to drag your underage kids out in front of the cameras. There should be a law.
Also, I’m not buying any of it. The bastard’s having an affair, or his wife/mom is, but my money’s on Evan. At the very least, he’s completely full of shit. There is something more here. My money’s on an affair, maybe a John Edward-type baby. Also, I wouldn’t rule out his being outed. Something’s up.
[re=513142]thefrontpage[/re]: “Many people actually like Evan Bayh–he’s really one of our better U.S. Senators…”
I am glad to know that Wonkette is read by denizens of alternate universes.
Those kids sure look like they can tell he’s talkin’ bullshit.
The wife? Zombie.
Okay, I just watched 3 seconds of this with the sound off.
What is wrong with these motherfuckers who stick their children up there?
Seriously. Good news. Bad news. This shit has got to stop.
What a grease bucket.
Couldn’t care less about Bayh – we’re better off without him. Let’s get a good union guy from northwest IN (Gary/Hammond/East Chicago) in there to push our agenda.
So if he leaves office before his term is up, does he become a gay or dead fish going with the flow? I forget how $arah did it.
‘why he must just be very self-absorbed!’ Being a Hoosier myself I can proudly sy, that’s jsut how the Bayhby rolls…I believe ‘self-absorbed’ is his middle name…
‘Here is why he is not running: Congress is broken and our nation is on the brink of failure, so like a brave statesman, it is his duty to… run away from the problem as fast as possible and make buttloads of $$$ lobbying for one special interest or another!’
Yeah one of the reasons Congress is broken is because of asshat Blue Dog Republi-crats like Bayh who have kept Nobama from getting anything done, especially health care reform…his wife has made a couple million $$$ just by ‘sittin’ on the board of Anthem/ Wellpoint so expect Senator Goodhair to become their next spokesmodel in 3, 2, 1…the only thing sad about this is now the morons in Indiana will probably elect some jerk like Mike Pence as next Repig senator m this not-so-great state (gawd save our souls!)
“Gay Buddhist classmate calls Episcopalian senator to Roman Catholic repentance with African-American gospel music video.”
Not withdrawal. Not resignation. Repentance.
(Because Rahm is right that you’d be fucking retarded to attack the blue dogs. Call them to repentance. It’s almost Lent.)
Pray to St. Anthony for a miracle. (I’m a Buddhist and I’m doing it)
Play this awesome gospel miserere music video. (If I have to play it every waking second, I want some company)
Thanks
- Ty
Forgot the link to the awesome gospel miserere you should ALL be playing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r26pNuVrIM&feature=related
Memo to the son standing on left of the Senator: Patches Kennedy called; he wants his hair back
He probably lost a huge Super Bowl bet with Diapers McVitter, and can’t pay up — or can’t pay the way Vitter wants him to pay.
Plaid is back amongst the youngin’s? Who knew?
I hope K street $$$ can provide some style, even if it is Banana Republic style
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