i thought it was yr job

More Professional Coordination At Democrat HQ!

Being serious about deficitsYes he is a terrible monster, but really? Seriously? Seriously is this actually literal? “Bayh made the decision not to run on Friday, telling a small group of senior staff, but he did not tell President Obama or Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid until today. His aides say he had been struggling with the decision for months, but Democrats in the Senate seemed to have no clue. Many said his decision caught them completely by surprise.” Aww.

Gee golly, he sure surprised them, just like Martha Coakley did when she became the worst candidate in history. The filing deadline for a Democratic primary in Indiana is tomorrow. Do you want to run, dear reader? The DNC and/or DSCC will be shocked! Who coulda known!

Wasn’t David Plouffe supposed to start telling these professional decent-Senate-candidate-choosers, as in that’s their only job, how to not lose the various Democratic majorities? Here’s a start: Assholes like Evan Bayh will probably do asshole things and ruin everything. Monitor them!

[ABC News]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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1 comment

  1. RobPetrified

    I have to wonder, since he stood a good chance of being re elected to one of the cushiest jobs in the world:
    Are there incriminating emails or photos about to surface?
    Or does he REALLY want to “spend motre time with his family?”
    Would you?

  2. Larry McAwful

    Maybe Evan Bayh could join the Obama cabinet. He could be Secretary of Getting Everyone’s Coffee Orders Right.

  3. Extemporanus

    Three words, one name, sure thing:

    John. Cougar. Mellencamp.

    “Vote for Johnny Cougar: He was born in a small town. Just like you. “

  4. progressiveinga

    My Grandmother wasn’t very educated, but she used to say, “If you lay down with Blue Dogs you’ll get up with blue fleas”.

  5. Larry McAwful

    [re=512939]assistant/atlas[/re]: I’d love to take a birch branch and beat the hell out of Mr. Bayh. The irony would be so satisfying.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    I’m sure there’s a corporation in Indiana willing to step up and continue Bayh’s legacy of doing little to nothing.

  7. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=512936]Extemporanus[/re]:
    Don’t you have any comedians to run for office? They seem to make pretty good politicians.

  8. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=512936]Extemporanus[/re]: That would be awesome, since the guy’s an actual libtard and rich enough to say ‘meh’ to the agribusiness and insurance lobby bribes. But I’m guessing Johnny Mellenhead probably avoids Indiana as much as possible; for all the usual reasons.

  9. Larry McAwful

    [re=512949]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: David Letterman’s from Indiana. So’s Kurt Vonnegut, but he’s dead. But Letterman’s still alive, so there’s that.

  10. Autoo

    [re=512952]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Nope, Johnny Cougar still lives there in Indiana and is still politically outspoken, so he’d be a good, popular candidate.

    If he ran, of course, the Dems would screw it up by selecting “American Fool” or “Weakest Moments” as the campaign song, rather than “Small Town.”

  11. JMP

    [re=512957]Larry McAwful[/re]: And, as I said in the thread below, Dave’s already shown more balls in taking on Republican douches than any Democratic Senator who doesn’t also have history in late night TV.

  12. Mad Brahms

    [re=512957]Larry McAwful[/re]: A dead Vonnegut would still be ten times the senator of a living Bayh, sadly.

    But seriously, watch the dems pick the most awkward middle-of-the-road candidate they can find, and then have them painted as a radical Maoist and defeated by some glorified tea partier with hot daughters in swimsuits. There is precedent!

  13. RoscoePColtraine

    Sometimes I can’t decide whether I want a Fuzzy Navel or a Sex On The Beach, (splash of cranberry juice, or NOT!), so I sort of relate to the difficulty he faced reaching a decision on whether to remain in the senate. Would have been nice, though, if he could have telegraphed his indecision to the party.

  14. ifthethunderdontgetya"

    Evan Bayh is the David Broder of Senatoring.

    (I suppose some at WaPoop might think’s that is a compliment, but it snot.)
    ~

  15. eclecticbrotha

    Really not as bad as initially thought, since its too close to the filing deadline to find a replacement the party can pick one.

    I mean, FUCK YOU EVAN BAYH ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  16. rottenart

    [re=512933]RobPetrified[/re]: I bet it’s nothing more nefarious then our good friends and neighbors, Wellpoint and Aetna, politely informing him that his work in the Senate was done and he could now just go home. It’s just common courtesy among friends and neighbors. And wives on the board.

  17. weejee

    Somewhere lost in the Swampland, Tumlty says filing deadline (oh so dead) is Friday. Leave it to those Repubtard Hoosiers to put filing Friday on the same day as Turkmenistan’s National Flag Day. How can the Demodunces ever dig-up a candidate in the midst of the high holidays?

    Dig-up! That’s it! Get out the shovel and they can run Orville Redenbacher!

  18. Extemporanus

    [re=512949]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Hoosier comedians? Hmm…Well, Red Skelton died almost a decade ago, and Dave Letterman likes to rape underage fucking retards with his mouth.

    In other words, either one of ‘em would have a pretty good shot at winning Bayh’s seat.

    [re=512952]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [re=512962]Autoo[/re]: To the muted strains of “Jack and Diane”:

    “As the son of an uneducated dirt farmer, Johnny Cougar knows what it’s like to grow up dirt poor in the muddy shadow of ‘Two Americas’. No one else but the son of a dirt farmer like Johnny has the Real American tools needed to bring the above ground and below ground together as our God’s zombie Son has directed. And the only dirt you’ll find on him is the fertile, black, Indiana top soil variety in which his roots have always been planted.

    Hoosier daddy, Indiana? Johnny is, that’s who! Vote for him today.”

  19. JMP

    [re=512962]Autoo[/re]: I don’t know; Mellencamp “ain’t got nothin’ against the big town”, and no matter how much he loves the small town the bitters might go against him for not hatin’ on the edumacated city slickers and the coloreds.

    They should go with Pink Houses, since as both Reagan and McCain showed conservatives don’t recognize the sarcasm; or the copyright infringement.

  20. Rosie Scenario

    Back in the 1970s or therebouts I had a crush on Birch Bayh. He was “cute” and had substance from what I could tell. Evan, no way.

  21. Extemporanus

    [re=512980]JMP[/re]: Indiana’s pink houses are so fucking gay, they don’t even have front doors.

  22. slappypaddy

    [re=512979]rottenart[/re]: how cunning! oh those slick demos, seeming so clueless as they stagger from defeat to defeat, playing a game so deep 90 percent of them don’t see it. it’s an iceberg game! titanic in its repercussions!

  23. Neilist

    As the battered, riddled hull of the battlecruiser “HMS LIE-Brual Democrats” slips beneath the waves, the sleek grey hull of the victorious battleship “GOP Cheney” (affectionately known as “All Big Gun”) turns southward, resuming its hunt for more vulnerable, unarmored “Red Dog” merchantmen . . .:::Whoops::: . . . “merchantpersons.”

    Years later, political historians all agreed that, in regard to the one-term “Presidency” of Barak “Jimmy Carter As Man-Tan” Obama . . . this “was their worsest hour.”

    FLANK SPEED! MAN THE GUNS!

  24. jon c

    I have five candidates. Jermaine. Tito. Jackie. Marlon. Zombie Michael. Can you feel it? CAN YOU FEEL IT!!!!

  25. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=512972]Autoo[/re]: Y’know, you could just call, I have a phone (or did Verizon cut you off again?) But sure, family’s down Tacoma way tonight, so either my place around 9:30 be good (better for me, so i don’t need to lug my amp) or 10ish if you mean at the studio. You could email me, too, if no phone.

  26. arewethereyet

    Yo Evan, tell you what. Being that i have a lot of time on my hands, being unemployed and all. howsabout i spend some time with your family and you get your ass back to work.

  27. Neilist

    [re=513022]EdFlinstone[/re]: No, no, the GOP Cheney torpedoed the Lesbian PT boat that was “docked” into his daughter’s “slip.”

    Or something.

    MIX THAT METAPHOR!

    USA!USA!USA!

    (Oh, sorry. I thought the “Alabama Faculty Trap Shooting Event” had started.)

  28. swamijoe

    [re=512948]SayItWithWookies[/re]: yep, the name of Bayhby’s next emploter is Wellpoint/ Anthem…they’ve been sponsoring, er, financing the Bayh family college fund for years to the tune of several million $$$ (Ivy League schools ain’t cheap doncha know?!) I’m sure Senator GoodHair has already inked the deal to become the next Wellpoint spokesmodel since he did just a fine fucking job of obstructing health care reform…fuck him and good riddance from a Hoosier who hates this empty-headed douchebag! (ask me how I realy feel?! :) also

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